Why has the family not made a public plea?

[carole]

This is what I can not get past every time I hear about DY's letter. It is this part:

"I just can’t believe that you aren’t still with us."-DY

That statement is just plain SPOOKY. :waitasec:

That and the fact that after reading DY's letter and that LE released it for the public-goodness one would wonder they could not have coached her to write it different being how it comes across. Some PR help maybe?

I still say it is signifigant that none of these family members can be in front of the cameras without a script or without someone else presenting for them. It is like pulling teeth to get them to respond at all publically.

I am waiting like the rest of you to see this outcome. I still hope they find the little guy safe because whatever is going on here...it is not his fault. I hope nothing bad has happened to him but the more time that passes the possiblity of him being...well you know.....I am sure decreases...logically.

To the person responsible there is a special place in...:devil:...for you.

The part that I always gravitate to is at the end -- "A long time ago you saved my life and now I am going to do the same for you." He saved her life - maybe they discovered her kidney disease when she was pregnant with him or just made her life worth living when he was born - that makes sense to me. But the second part "now I am going to do the same for you."

How is she going to do the same for him - save his life as he saved hers??? That baffles me!!

 

[sofia76]

The part that I always gravitate to is at the end -- "A long time ago you saved my life and now I am going to do the same for you." He saved her life - maybe they discovered her kidney disease when she was pregnant with him or just made her life worth living when he was born - that makes sense to me. But the second part "now I am going to do the same for you."

How is she going to do the same for him - save his life as he saved hers??? That baffles me!!

Honestly, I think Desiree is just not a good writer. But it seemed heartfelt to me.

 

[glorybug]

I think people are getting confused about this. Experts have not said that family members personalizing the victim in pleas to their abductor increases their chances of getting home safely.

What has been supposedly documented is that when the victims themselves personalize the PERPETRATOR first, and then themselves, calling the perp by name, pretending to care for them, and then getting the perp to do the same back, THEIR chances are better for being released. I think a good example of that is Elizabeth Shoaf's ordeal. She literally saved herself by personalizing the perp, making him think she cared about him, while waiting for any opportunity to escape. He eventually let her go.

I really think if the parents thought their child was still alive, they might be desperate enough to plead on camera- but how cruel and sick would it be to force them to do that if they feel otherwise, just to make us happy? I, for one, would not like to hear afterwards that the parents felt compelled to beg for their child's return even though they knew he wasn't coming back, just because of public pressure and judgement.

Experts definitely have said that it can help if someone personalizes the victim by saying their name and telling a little something about them. I doubt if I would be in any condition, but would be standing right there by a family member. Attempts to get a big reward going and sending people to check out places where we might have been stalked would also be done. Actually going and socializing at these places, nope. A suspect must be in mind and they know that Kyron is not being held at some location by a lunatic.

 

[angelmom]

Can I just say...although it's not exactly on topic...

We've been so focused on the family not making a plea, but WHY is the media leaving them alone? Except for that one awkward moment outside the gym, we haven't seen any typical stalking paparazzi moments.

Remember Scott Peterson with his cap pulled down muttering about how this wasn't about him, it was about Laci? Remember all the shots of Drew Peterson walking to his car (and he could never resist a wiseass comment.) Remember the crowds screaming at Casey, "Where did you put her? Where's Caylee?"

And even if they never answered, we got footage of that. We saw them trying.

Where are those shots if LE hasn't clued in the media that they need to back off? And why is the medial willing to back off if they haven't gotten some serious info or promise of such? Not that I want the media to hound these people, because I'm really very impressed that they haven't, but it's weird. Very unusual and weird.

Are the photojournalists in Portland just nicer people? Or do they know something we don't know? What could they know that would make them willing to keep a secret?

I'm so confused!

 

[judithannegg]

In almost 3 weeks, we have only seen any of the members of the family THREE times! The press conference with the dads and, remember, the ONLY thing the bio dad says is thanks to community (including bus drivers!!) and thanks to the media! That was ALL from bio dad - no plea at all to Kyron. No anger at all. If I dropped my kid off at school, then he has been missing, I would be angry at the school! But nothing... Oh, except the plea from the STEP dad...

Then we see TH and KH leaving the gym. The news reporter asks what they can do to help, but TH and KH look scared and very, very quickly get into their car and leave, no comments or pleas AT ALL..

There was one more time, at a press conference, but none of them spoke at all!

And then the release of the letter from the bio mom, which was an NBC EXCLUSIVE! WHY would you release a letter that NBC can claim to be an exclusive? I would release that letter to ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, heck even ESPN or FOX!!

 

[hollye]

In almost 3 weeks, we have only seen any of the members of the family THREE times! The press conference with the dads and, remember, the ONLY thing the bio dad says is thanks to community (including bus drivers!!) and thanks to the media! That was ALL from bio dad - no plea at all to Kyron. No anger at all. If I dropped my kid off at school, then he has been missing, I would be angry at the school! But nothing... Oh, except the plea from the STEP dad...

Then we see TH and KH leaving the gym. The news reporter asks what they can do to help, but TH and KH look scared and very, very quickly get into their car and leave, no comments or pleas AT ALL..

There was one more time, at a press conference, but none of them spoke at all!

And then the release of the letter from the bio mom, which was an NBC EXCLUSIVE! WHY would you release a letter that NBC can claim to be an exclusive? I would release that letter to ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, heck even ESPN or FOX!!

Very good points! What IS up with the exclusive? That is very strange, IMO!

 

[kgeaux]

Honestly, I think Desiree is just not a good writer. But it seemed heartfelt to me.

I'm giving her a lot of grace, an infinite amount, because if I were in her shoes right now, I sure wouldn't want people to try to parse my grief, to analyze my words, etc.

I totally agree with you, Sofia. It seems heartfelt to me, too. And if it's not perfect, well, how many of us would be worried about trying to be perfect when we were trying to communicate our love, grief, fear and hope to a child of our own who'd gone missing? She just poured her heart out. Just like I'd do.

 

[keeponsearching]

It would be so emotionally tough for me to get in front of the media to beg the return of my child, I don't think anyone would understand a word I would say, but I would follow whatever LE wanted me to do. If they thought it was the best chance then yes I would be on the tv screen. These pass few weeks I don't think D could of handle the strain of it. But I think she could do it know. I see how much her husband supports her, and she is lucky to have him.
I wonder if LE asked them from the start and they said no, or if LE told them they could either do it or not. KWIM.

 

[easttexas]

I am sorry, I did not read every post. My dog is sick...serious ear infection. If he was missing just now I would NOT be on facebook, NOT going to the gym, and I would be heart broken. Broken. But, he is only a dog. My dog. And I love him very much.

 

[easttexas]

I am sorry, I did not read every post. My dog is sick...serious ear infection. If he was missing just now I would NOT be on facebook, NOT going to the gym, and I would be heart broken. Broken. But, he is only a dog. My dog. And I love him very much.

Iam quoting myself...please use sarcasm in he is only a dog...he is in reality an angel

 

[GrainneDhu]

Honestly, I think Desiree is just not a good writer. But it seemed heartfelt to me.

I agree.

I think that if she had produced the most elegantly written, emotionally moving piece of prose ever seen, it would be picked over and criticised as "too perfect, therefore she knows what happened to Kyron."

My overwhelming sense is that the family is in a no-win situation and has been almost since the beginning.

 

[GrainneDhu]

Where are those shots if LE hasn't clued in the media that they need to back off? And why is the medial willing to back off if they haven't gotten some serious info or promise of such? Not that I want the media to hound these people, because I'm really very impressed that they haven't, but it's weird. Very unusual and weird.

Are the photojournalists in Portland just nicer people? Or do they know something we don't know? What could they know that would make them willing to keep a secret?

I'm so confused!

Me too.

Although I do think the terrain is against the typical media stalking. The Hormans live on a gravel road and, judging from the overhead photos, their house is not visible from the road. There's a thick stand of trees between the house and the road.

So, where would the media set up? They can't set up on private property without permission and I, for one, would not give them that permission.

If the media set up on the gravel road, is there enough room to do so without obstructing traffic? From the picture I saw, I don't think so.

And even if they did set up on the road, what would they show? Trees? That would get old incredibly fast, I think. They could show shot after shot of vehicles entering or leaving the Horman property but since the driveway is quite long, again, what would be the point?

If the family is holed up at home, waiting for developments, there just may not be all that many media opportunities.

I was thinking about this a few days ago. I live so far out in the country that you have to take a gravel road to get to my gravel road. My house is clearly visible from the road but the easement on the road is ditches on both sides. There is nowhere a media stakeout could set up without obstructing traffic unless one of my neighbours gave them permission to enter their land, which would be highly unlikely.

One of the reasons we live out here is because we prize our privacy. Looking at the terrain around the Horman residence, it wouldn't surprise me if the same thing were true of the Hormans and their neighbours.

 

[RubyRed]

In almost 3 weeks, we have only seen any of the members of the family THREE times! The press conference with the dads and, remember, the ONLY thing the bio dad says is thanks to community (including bus drivers!!) and thanks to the media! That was ALL from bio dad - no plea at all to Kyron. No anger at all. If I dropped my kid off at school, then he has been missing, I would be angry at the school! But nothing... Oh, except the plea from the STEP dad...

Then we see TH and KH leaving the gym. The news reporter asks what they can do to help, but TH and KH look scared and very, very quickly get into their car and leave, no comments or pleas AT ALL..

There was one more time, at a press conference, but none of them spoke at all!

And then the release of the letter from the bio mom, which was an NBC EXCLUSIVE! WHY would you release a letter that NBC can claim to be an exclusive? I would release that letter to ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, heck even ESPN or FOX!!

Today at the morning briefing, Kyron’s dad came to speak to us. This was extremely emotional and I think that if anyone had a dry eye, it was because they weren’t there or couldn’t hear what he was saying. He was so grateful for our efforts and thanked us over and over, “Kyron thanks you.” It is never easy to listen to a father plead for us to find his child.


http://jocosarblog.typepad.com/jocosarblog/2010/06/page/3/

 

[GrainneDhu]

And then the release of the letter from the bio mom, which was an NBC EXCLUSIVE! WHY would you release a letter that NBC can claim to be an exclusive? I would release that letter to ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, heck even ESPN or FOX!!

Almost certainly NBC offered her the best deal. Probably not in money but in terms of air play, which show(s) aired it and how long it was on the air.

Releasing it to all the networks runs a high risk of it getting a five second "Desiree Young released a letter to her son today. And in other news..."

The exclusive is probably not forever. It may only have been an exclusive right for 24 hours: "give us this letter first and don't give any copies to anyone else for 24 hours; if you do this, then we'll play it on *advertiser censored* show and give it at least XX number of minutes."

The point for any network exclusive like this is to force other media to cite them when referring to that particular development in the story. We've seen it with the Willamette Week; almost every story mentioning the cell phone pings mentions them. The prestige translates into advertising revenue.

Remember that news shows aren't put on by the networks out of the goodness of their hearts. They exist because they make money. News items are building blocks for making money.

Families are forced into even more faustian bargains along the lines of "we will give you air time now if you promise to come back when the fate of your child is known." In desperation, they agree. And then they have to appear at the moment when they are most likely to wish they could be grieving in private.

Makes for good ratings.

And good ratings makes for higher advertising rates.

 

[angelmom]

It would be so emotionally tough for me to get in front of the media to beg the return of my child, I don't think anyone would understand a word I would say, but I would follow whatever LE wanted me to do. If they thought it was the best chance then yes I would be on the tv screen. These pass few weeks I don't think D could of handle the strain of it. But I think she could do it know. I see how much her husband supports her, and she is lucky to have him.
I wonder if LE asked them from the start and they said no, or if LE told them they could either do it or not. KWIM.

This is what I mean. The silence by the family, friends, coworkers, etc. AND the media leads me to believe that LE has expressly and strongly urged everyone to stay quiet. There is a reason.

We can pull them apart all we want, but if LE thinks this is best, I would also be trying to do everything they said. I really think the FBI profiler had a hand in this strategy and, for all we know, it may work.

 

[Calliope]

I agree.

I think that if she had produced the most elegantly written, emotionally moving piece of prose ever seen, it would be picked over and criticised as "too perfect, therefore she knows what happened to Kyron."

My overwhelming sense is that the family is in a no-win situation and has been almost since the beginning.

Absolutely. Within seconds of appearing on TV, people were dissecting their every move, blink, word.

 

[Barry]

This is what I mean. The silence by the family, friends, coworkers, etc. AND the media leads me to believe that LE has expressly and strongly urged everyone to stay quiet. There is a reason.

We can pull them apart all we want, but if LE thinks this is best, I would also be trying to do everything they said. I really think the FBI profiler had a hand in this strategy and, for all we know, it may work.

This is my feeling. Something or someone (possibly even the perp), is having a very strong influence on everyone involved to keep quiet. I say very strong, because you can't normally convince so many people to stay quiet.

 

[seeking truth]

Absolutely. Within seconds of appearing on TV, people were dissecting their every move, blink, word.

What is more important? This family's "feelings" or Kyron?

 

[Calliope]

What is more important? This family's "feelings" or Kyron?

Media, the public and internet peeps dissecting, analyzing, and attacking their every move, action, word and blink helps kyron... how?

 

[GrainneDhu]

What is more important? This family's "feelings" or Kyron?

Assuming that the family is innocent, then BOTH are equally important.

It is clear that something bad has happened to Kyron. After so long, there aren't any good outcomes left, only some that are less awful than others.

Does compounding the injury to the family make whatever happened to Kyron any better? Absolutely not! It just makes an incredibly horrible event for them even more horrible.

I suggest reading some accounts by people who have been falsely accused. Many report consequences of inability to trust others, serious depression, suicidal ideation, PTSD, agoraphobia, etc, after they were cleared.

For a specific example, look at Steven Hatfill. Accused by the FBI of being responsible for the anthrax attacks mostly because he wrote a paper in 1999 about the possibility of anthrax attacks. He wrote that paper at the direction of his employer!

He lost his job, he was unable to find another job, his life was basically ruined. He was finally cleared because the FBI accused another man, who had committed suicide.

Steven Hatfill won a $5.1 million dollar settlement from the government but that doesn't set right what was done to him.