NotMeAnymore
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2014
- Messages
- 20
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I have more questions and some of them are pretty direct. If you don't wish to answer any or all of them, tell me to bugger off. Obviously, I'm very interested in the smallest of details about SZ. Anything that comes to mind . . . I so get that reference to the smell of cologne, that happens to me with different scents that trigger both bad and good memories. (for some reason hot roofing tar is the worst, but that's off topic)
Were you shy to set up a profile on a BDSM site? What / who was your intro into BDSM? Did Zelich find you online or did you make first contact?
You mentioned that the sex lessened as the times you met increased. (BTW, how was he in bed? On his alt.com profile he chose not to answer how well endowed he is, was God good to him in that department?)
Was he considerate when not in a scene or did he stay in his dominant role all of the time? Was he on a budget, was he generous with room service? What kind of cigs did he smoke? Did he drink alcohol while you were together?
What did he watch on TV, regular programs or *advertiser censored*? What did he wear? Did he travel with a lot of luggage / props?
Do you get the impression that Zelich networked with other dominants seeking slaves? Was there ever any discussion about "buying" or "selling" slaves?
What was the last straw for you? What made you decide, "that's it, I'm out of here!".
IMO, we are who we are TODAY and that is the sum total of our life experiences, (the good, the bad and the ugly). Life isn't a Disney movie.
Your name and the fact that you chose to come here and share our story tells us so much. Our life experiences aren't worth much unless we learn from them and are willing to share that knowledge. You're safe here. Find strength in your own voice. Give yourself time.
I find what you said towards the end to be very true, "Our life experiences aren't worth much unless we learn from them and are willing to share that knowledge." I heard a story recently on a podcast about a guy who's father was shot by his mother in front of him. The interviewer told him that he didn't have to talk about it if he didn't want to and he said he loved talking about it. He said that each time he told the story, the trauma had less and less of a hold over him. I think that's definitely a side effect of being able to talk about something and that is why therapy is so important. So in that spirit, I will answer your questions below:
- I wasn't shy at all about putting up a profile.
- The sex part, I don't like thinking about it right now but I will tell you that he was on the short side and thick.
- With me, we would have regular conversations over the phone and he was pleasant enough. He would talk about the abduction planning as if we were planning a camping trip or something else innocuous. During our meetings he would sometimes take a time out and just talk lightly with me but I would still be in bondage. I don't know if he was on a budget. He mentioned getting a discount at the Sheraton. He ordered room service every time. I don't know what kind of cigs he smoked (update: just saw JSR's response. Thank you!) but he did smoke a lot of them. He didn't drink the first two times but had some scotch the third time and seemed to get a little tipsy from it.
- He watched a lot of CNN when he was with me. Every once in a while I would hear a movie but it was mostly news networks. He wore what JSR said, collared shirts and pants. He did travel with LOTS of toys. He had so freakin' many toys that he brought.
- I don't think so. I did ask him one time what he would do if he got sick of me and he said that he would sell me but he didn't elaborate on that.
- There wasn't really a last straw. I just kind of came to my senses. I do think that his carelessness, the breathing thing, the smoking and his strictness all played a small part when the final consideration happened, though.