Would you lie in court to save your child? CLOSED FOR REVIEW

[Miss Anarchy]

Its a hard question to answer. I don't think I could lie in the guilt/innocence phase of trial. But at the sentencing phase, yes I could to save my child's life. If my son did something where the death penalty could be given, I would testify honesty, as he would need to be punished, but lie like he77 to keep him from dying.

I do have to say, though, that I am against the death penalty for everyone. Even ICA.

I am going to duck now. Please don't hate on me too bad.

 

[IRule254]

I would not lie under oath for my child, no.

 

[wyome]

This is a tough one. I think I'd do just about anything to save my child from the death penalty.

I do believe that Cindy, deep down, blames herself....and this is how she rationalizes lying on the stand. She doesn't believe that Casey intentionally murdered Caylee. I think she believes it to be an accident (of some sort), and Casey's inability to "come clean and fess up" is Cindy's fault b/c they enabled her during all those critical years. Cindy feels this mess NEVER would have gone this far if she and George had parented better. Therefore, she feels it's her duty to do anything and everything to get Casey out of this mess. MOO.

 

[Roze]

I wonder if CA would be lying if there were no risk of the death penalty.

I personally do not believe in the death penalty. Keeping dangerous people incarcerated is one of the few things I do not mind my tax dollars going toward.

 

[donnam]

No, I wouldn't. No one person is worth more than any other. If I lied for my child to cover up the fact that he or she had trampled on another person's rights, that would go against my core values. To me it shows incredible arrogance and egocentricity.

BBM
Neither of which describes me in the least. Let's be clear here. I don't just go around lying or my children. I have not to date EVER lied for them. The question was would you lie to save your child. I took it to mean "from death" not from PUNISHMENT.

 

[Evan's Mom]

BBM
Neither of which describes me in the least. Let's be clear here. I don't just go around lying or my children. I have not to date EVER lied for them. The question was would you lie to save your child. I took it to mean "from death" not from PUNISHMENT.

I agree. That is the same way I took the question.
It's not so black and white.

Would I lie to save my kid from going to jail? Of course not.
In fact, when my older son was 13, he stole my car in the middle of the night after I went to bed. He said he wanted to drive into town to get a Doctor Pepper. Not only did I not lie for him when questioned by the police, but I also pressed charges.

Would I lie to save their life? Without a doubt.

Two completely different scenarios.

My kids are the same kids I've raised their entire lives. If they were to do something horrible, I would be devastated and I would question everything I knew about them, but that wouldn't take away a single ounce of the love I've held for them since they were born and I'd do whatever I had to do to keep them alive.

 

[donnam]

In fact, when my older son was 13, he stole my car in the middle of the night after I went to bed. He said he wanted to drive into town to get a Doctor Pepper. Not only did I not lie for him when questioned by the police, but I also pressed charges.

Would I lie to save their life? Without a doubt.

Two completely different scenarios.

Respectfully snipped.
BBM
I also have called the police on my son. When he was 16, he came home very drunk and was being belligerent. I called them to come and take him out of my house, which is what they did. He never came home drunk again and is now almost 21.

 

[djm41]

To the 2 posters that had kids who took car keys, you did the right thing. My nephew did the same at age 15, and he lost his life. Although I would never tell my sister this, I often wonder if things would have been different if she wouldn't have been so comfortable in handing him her car keys to move her car for her, and if I would have said something about it.

 

[SeekingJana]

MOO

I think it's a matter of character, and I also think people with character are a dying breed.

If a person practices as much as they preach, then I believe that person can say and know what they would do if put into a situation like this.

If my daughter killed her 2 year old daughter, I would not lie for her. I would have been begging and pleading with her to turn herself in, to tell the truth, etc., but if it came to the point this case has come to, I would not get on the stand and lie to help my daughter avoid the death penalty.

As a side note, I notice Cindy is willing to lie about certain things, but not others. IMO, it would be much more helpful to ICA's case for Cindy to say she might have forgotten to take the ladder down on the pool on June 15th, but she's not going there. IMO, to Cindy, this is WAY more about Cindy than about getting ICA off or avoiding the DP.

THANK YOU, Lanie. You put into eloquent words what I could not say as well or as clearly.
I definitely think it is a matter of personal character and maturity to have the INTEGRITY to follow the law and to be honest, whatever the cost.

 

[trublu]

Fairly new poster here but Ive been a regular lurke/reader since 2008 and this very case brought me here. My heartfelt gratitude to all you regular posters BTW . You are a VERY smart bunch for sure.

Im a 51 yr old disabled father of 3 and grandfather of 4.My wonderful bride and Ive been married for 31 yrs in just a few months and weve talked about this very issue ourselves.

Our daughter is a lot like ICA unfortunately, she is incarcerated currently and we have custody of our now 3 yr old grandson for the past nearly 2 years.
At one time before her arrest (drug charges) we were VERY concerned about her lack of care of our Grandson, Her lack of concern about him overall, and where she might leave him if we couldnt watch him, her ability to just leave a screaming, hungry 12 month old in his crib and leave for hours on end, our daughters ability to lie with great conviction, create stories and people, and to easily switch stories when one petered out, her ability to steal from us and other family members and even stealing my prescription painkillers.

She seemed without a conscience, or care for anyone but hereself AND our worry that it was possible that something just like Caylee could have happened with our own daughter and grandson.


Interestingly enough this all came to a head within about a month of ICA first being arrested and this story coming out for everyone back in 2008

Sorry for the story folks but I kinda felt the background was necessary to show that we do base our own decisons ( God forbid we are ever put in this situation ) on similar circumstances.

As I said , my wife and I discussed way back when and a few times since then and yet again just yesterday and we both agreed that we would NOT lie to protect our daughter.

Weve always tried to instill in all our children the attitude that there are rules and laws. And if those rules/laws are broken you will unfortunately have to suffer whatever the consequences.

While it would be heartbreaking in numerous ways I simply could NOT bring myself to lie.I just can't.
I have little left in my control since becoming disabled except for a very good reputation as an honest and hardworking family man, and that my word is my bond.

While I Could NEVER lie One thing I would do though is to simply answer a question... as asked. Meaning, that I will answer your question with simply a yes or a no and would offer no further info to HELP them convict my child ,and that whoever is asking better ask the right questions and be on their game to get me to help you convict my child.
I guess the way I look at it is that they (attorneys,courts, etc.) have a job to do. They uphold the law, and they impose sentence on the guilty. They should be well trained and know what they are doing and able to do their jobs fairly and with knowledge.Professionals i guess is what im trying to say.

If they are, then they will ask me the right questions. They wont need me to help them by giving them info they didnt ask for but simply to be honest and answer their questions directly and honestly. I will tell the truth and whatever comes of that is beyond my control.

To my children, I would simply assure them that I love them..always will no matter what. That while I dont and cant understand WHY they did somehting they know is wrong I will always be there for them. BUT, you broke the law, you did wrong and you must suffer the consequences of your actions no matter what they are. I cant fix it, and I wont lie but I will ALWAYS ALWAYS be there with you

I personally fail to see any difference whatsoever between lying to get them off for somehting they did wrong (Stealing. drugs, etc), or lying to save them from a death sentence. In either case (as hard as it is for all involved) they are adults, they made a decison and they acted on it,it was their own actions that got them where they are now.
The truth is simply the truth,I cannot help it that the truth will hurt you and sadly now...I cant change that.

Lordy I hope all this makes some sense. LOL Now I know why I never post! LOL Its hard to write what you feel and have someone else understand. WHEW!

 

[agathie]

I thought about this all today at work and I have decided that my answer is yes, I would lie. What is tough - do I choose justice for my granddaughter or mercy for the my daughter???? A lot of people have mentioned how they would feel guilty over lying, and I would too, but I know I feel more guilt for not doing everything in my power to save my daughter. There is no good answer here.

 

[trublu]

Lanie, YOU are good, and ITA!

 

[donnam]

THANK YOU, Lanie. You put into eloquent words what I could not say as well or as clearly.
I definitely think it is a matter of personal character and maturity to have the INTEGRITY to follow the law and to be honest, whatever the cost.

I respectfully DISAGREE. I have excellent character and maturity. I also have INTEGRITY. I AM honest, at times to a fault. I do NOT break the law. HOWEVER, I do NOT believe in the DP for the most part and I would lie to save my child from death. They could spend the rest o their lives in prison, which to me is a far worse punishment then death. Let them live knowing what they have done and be reminded of it every day.

 

[ladylurker]

TRUBLU... thanks for your post. i am sorry for what you and your family have been through but it sounds like you and your wife are committed to doing the right thing. thank you for sharing your story.

i know a lot of people are saying "no" to this question, self included, but i just want to say that from my end i have no judgment towards the people saying "yes." this is not an easy call or a black and white thing. the urge to protect your children from death is an instinct (unless you're ICA i guess). no one would ever want to be in this position.

personally i believe that lying under oath could be a detriment to the case if caught and thus could be much worse than telling the truth - as trublu said, just giving a minimal answer. no more info than what is asked to help convict your child, but honest minimal answers on the stand.

IMO the best way to protect your child from facing the death penalty is to help them understand accountability from a young age, which i think is the problem with ICA and why this is a hypothetical for the large majority of us. if you establish a pattern of allowing your children to do whatever they want with no real consequences beyond a slap on the wrist, lying to get them out of trouble, and turning your anger on those who would seek to hold them accountable, then i don't believe lying on the stand is somehow protecting them from ANYTHING. protecting your children from severe things like this IMO starts at a younger age when they start to learn that their actions have consequences. the more they understand that, as well as empathy for others, the more you're protecting them from ever getting into a situation like this in the first place and thus not needing to continue lying and misleading to get them out of trouble.

but i don't think those of you who disagree are wrong or bad or raising your kids wrong. i think we are viewing the situation differently, and if we think of our kids in a vacuum facing the DP our instinct is to protect, and if lying = protecting i can understand why people - CA included - would want to do that. just wanted to say this since some of you who are saying yes sound like you are worried about the rest of us judging you for it.

 

[PlainJaneDoe]

I agree. That is the same way I took the question.
It's not so black and white.

Would I lie to save my kid from going to jail? Of course not.
In fact, when my older son was 13, he stole my car in the middle of the night after I went to bed. He said he wanted to drive into town to get a Doctor Pepper. Not only did I not lie for him when questioned by the police, but I also pressed charges.

Would I lie to save their life? Without a doubt.

Two completely different scenarios.

My kids are the same kids I've raised their entire lives. If they were to do something horrible, I would be devastated and I would question everything I knew about them, but that wouldn't take away a single ounce of the love I've held for them since they were born and I'd do whatever I had to do to keep them alive.

(bbm)

We interpreted the question differently. Actually, I didn't even consider the actual punishment when I answered. I don't support the DP, either. To me (and I understand & respect that not everyone agrees) it is one thing to oppose the penalty for a crime and exhaust every legal option to prevent its imposition, and a completely different thing to deliberately obscure the facts.

And yes, I agree, it would be devastating - I just don't think that lying would take away any of the pain, at least not for me.

 

[Turnadot]

I respectfully DISAGREE. I have excellent character and maturity. I also have INTEGRITY. I AM honest, at times to a fault. I do NOT break the law. HOWEVER, I do NOT believe in the DP for the most part and I would lie to save my child from death. They could spend the rest o their lives in prison, which to me is a far worse punishment then death. Let them live knowing what they have done and be reminded of it every day.

I admire your vehemence, here.

As for me, if lying to save my son from being put to death means I lack integrity, no character, and am immature - I couldn't care less. I would lie to save my son. Period. What this says to others about my character, or lack thereof, is of no concern to me at all.

 

[FootballMom]

There are no innocent victims of forced opinions on this board, everyone volunteers and every last one of us is guilty. YES, I’M TALKING TO DIRECTLY TO YOU… it doesn’t matter if you only lurk, come & go or actively post… feel passionate about a position one day and change it the next.

Between the "how could you's?!", the "you didn't love your daughter or granddaughter enough or in the proper way's", the “poor CA she just breaks my heart with how disillusioned she is from grief”, the “CA is conflicted, broken hearted, torn”....

I like consider myself a very rational person that can appreciate both sides of an argument. I’m a fixer, it’s what I do; everyone needs to be happy and well. Maybe I suffer from a bit too much of the "touchy feely 70's child Kumbaya syndrome" but I'm cool with it cause it beats the alternative. However….

I’ve also flipped the switch to absolute apathy, with very scary ease… a few times…. AND… I’ve had the rug pulled out from under my feet by people that I trusted completely – by people I should have been able to trust & by a few that I shouldn’t have trusted. One was a textbook Dark Triad that gas lighted me so well that I fought my rational head and consistently broken heart for 6 years!!! I will never have peace of mind because it just doesn’t compute on so many emotional and rational levels.

My point is there is NO RIGHT ANSWER to any of this. If you have never been completely fooled by someone, never been let down or had your heart broken repeatedly, lost someone so precious to you by the hands of someone else that also holds your heart in those same guilty hands… then I don’t think you can stand with such honest conviction for truth & justice and also be telling the truth.

I don’t think my signature has ever been more appropriate than it is today, "Life is pretty much in the grays for the most part and if you insist always on black and white... you are going to be very unhappy."

Now Imma jump off my box and go back to the bloopers, what did we learn polls and maybe even downstairs for a bit so I can get my warm and fuzzies back on…

Peace Ya’ll… and for goodness sake…. before you give yourself or someone else a stroke… play nice and laugh a little now and then! :heartbeat:

FBM

 

[JBounds]

I'm afraid I would not lie for my child in court and my child is now 20 years old. I remember when I was young a friend of mine stold some clothes from K-Mart, got caught up with by his parents and then proceeded to tell them it was my clothes.

They brought the Police over to my house and he claimed they were mine and I denied it and wouldn't cover up for him. I mean what did he expect? That my own parents would own up to those clothes too? Don't think so.

So in other words I'm not lying for anyone not even my daughter.

 

[legalmania]

I don't know and I hope I don't ever have to know. It's easy to answer a question when your not in the actual position. You find out that your only daughter gets pregnant, o.k. that happens a lot, it's not the end of world. You fall in love with this child, like she was your own. Then two and a half years later she is taken away from you, and the person who is suspected of doing it is your own flesh and blood. Working for the state for a couple of years, I've seen a lot worse, but the loss of any child is awful. I use to look at the parents and wonder, did they feel responsible, did they have a feeling that something like this would happen one day. What comes to mind is don't criticize unless you've walked in their shoes. I just hope I'm never put in that position.

 

[Noexcuse]

Honestly...I don't know. I guess it would depend on whether or not I thought the death had been an accident or not. I would have to do some serious soul searching for sure.