GUILTY AL - Bennett 'Bo' Smith, 4 mos, dies in hot car, Anniston, 9 Aug 2013

  • #21
Yep, I was used to taking my purse everywhere. Taking baby everywhere was brand new to me!
Sorry Linda I meant no disrespect,
 
  • #22
I never see the sense in charging in these cases where it is a matter of forgetting, and nothing more (for example, leaving child deliberately to go shop, or do drugs, or you forgot because you were drunk or high). There is no intent, there isn't even a real negligence. It happens across all socioeconomic, racial, and age groups. Many of the parents this happens to are described as the best parents by those who know them.

There's no worse punishment than the hell these parents will go through in their own hearts and minds for the rest of their lives.



I disagree when you know you have children you are responsible for their well being. There is no excuse in this world to leave a young child in your car and proceed to work! If you are drunk (or have been drinking alcohol) or high on drugs it is illegal to be behind the while of a vehicle. With that said, there is noooooo excuse to forget your child is in the car!!!! The only thing I can see is if the parent who was driving had an medical emergency, then she/he would be in the car... JMO
 
  • #23
  • #24
I disagree when you know you have children you are responsible for their well being. There is no excuse in this world to leave a young child in your car and proceed to work! If you are drunk (or have been drinking alcohol) or high on drugs it is illegal to be behind the while of a vehicle. With that said, there is noooooo excuse to forget your child is in the car!!!! The only thing I can see is if the parent who was driving had an medical emergency, then she/he would be in the car... JMO

How's that saying go? "but for the grace of God ?

Human beings forget things, especially when juggling 20 balls in the air at once. Many people's lifestyles are hectic. Frankly, I'm a little shocked it doesn't happen more often.
 
  • #25
So you would never forget your purse....not a judgment call, I find this would be a hard case to prosecute IMO heartbreaking and something that would happen, she dropped the other kids off, why not this one. Let her grieve, her guilt will be unbelievable.


I agree!!

I feel the same way if parent took her/his young child to the beach. The parent lays out to get that perfect suntan and forgets about bringing the child and the child drowns!! That person is still responsible for this childs death...
 
  • #26
How's that saying go? "but for the grace of God ?

Human beings forget things, especially when juggling 20 balls in the air at once. Many people's lifestyles are hectic. Frankly, I'm a little shocked it doesn't happen more often.


No excuses please!! This person only HAD Three living Children. I don't care how many balls were being juggled. The first ball should have been the children!!! I firm on this. JMO
 
  • #27
We see this kind of harsh judgement of parents a lot on crime cases, even when the parents did nothing more than let a child play or walk to school alone. People have pointed out the "it won't happen to me" incentive for people to vilify the parents on posts I've read, but the article explains it very clearly.[/QUOTE]



This was an infant!!!!!!!
 
  • #28
We see this kind of harsh judgement of parents a lot on crime cases, even when the parents did nothing more than let a child play or walk to school alone. People have pointed out the "it won't happen to me" incentive for people to vilify the parents on posts I've read, but the article explains it very clearly.



This was an infant!!!!!!![/QUOTE]

It's tragic, horrific and very sad. Of course she's responsible. Im simply saying its understandable.

While most people don't forget their children, I'd bet not a single person on the planet can honestly state they haven't forgotten something VERY important. It happens. It's not intentional. It's a tragic accident in the truest sense of the word.
 
  • #29
If you read the full article, it explains very clearly how the brain/memory misfire in certain conditions, especially a change in the parents' morning routine. It's a combination of the laws that have kids' car seats in the back seat and out of view, combined with the physical functioning of the brain. It's not a good/bad parent issue.
 
  • #30
If you read the full article, it explains very clearly how the brain/memory misfire in certain conditions, especially a change in the parents' morning routine. It's a combination of the laws that have kids' car seats in the back seat and out of view, combined with the physical functioning of the brain. It's not a good/bad parent issue.

So in your opinion, a person who not only forgets child in the car, but doesn't remember for hours the child was forgotten in the car, during which time the child basically bakes to death, is a good parent?
 
  • #31
You know, I do sympathize with the parents in their loss, but still believe they are ultimately responsible for the well being of their own child, who should be their first priority, not the normal pressures everyone goes through getting to work (or wherever) on time. It just boggles my mind. How could you forget your child? Maybe talking or interacting with the child during the drive would help them remember that little human being they chose to have in their life, rather than talking on their cell phones or texting.

I still think the cases should be investigated for charges and let a jury or judge consider the facts/circumstances and make a decision.

And, this is a fairly new type of tragedy, it was not a common occurrence before the fear of injuries from airbags caused the car seats to be moved to the back seat. Here is a good link showing how these statistics have risen since then and some quotes:

http://www.ggweather.com/heat/

•Total number of U.S. heatstroke deaths of children left in cars, 2013: 26
•Total number of U.S. heatstroke deaths of children left in cars, 2012: 33
• Total number of U.S. heatstroke deaths of children left in cars, 1998-present: 587
•Average number of U.S. child heatstroke fatalities per year since 1998: 37

•An examination of media reports about the 561 child vehicular heatstroke deaths for an thirteen year period (1998 through 2012) shows the following circumstances:

•51% - child "forgotten" by caregiver (288 Children)

•29% - child playing in unattended vehicle (163)

•18% - child intentionally left in vehicle by adult (101)

•2% - circumstances unknown (9)


In the three-year period of 1990-1992, before airbags became popular, there were only 11 known deaths of children from heatstroke .

•In the most recent three-year period of 2009-2011, when almost all young children are now placed in back seats instead of front seats, there have been at least 118 known fatalities from heatstroke...a ten-fold increase from the rate of the early 1990s.


•Only 20 states have laws specifically addressing leaving a child unattended in a vehicle........

An Associated Press (AP) study "Wide disparity exists in sentences for leaving kids to die in hot cars" examined both the frequency of prosecutions and length of sentences in hyperthermia deaths
- Charges were files in 49% of all the deaths. 81% resulted in convictions.
- In cases with paid caregivers (i.e., childcare workers, babysitters) 84% were charged and 96% convicted
- Only 7% of the cases involved drugs or alcohol

http://www.ggweather.com/heat/ap_sentencing.htm

Also has maps/graphs showing medical info and where this happens more frequently: Texas and Florida. Very rarely in the Midwest or west, except for CA.

These are too many children dying due to the inattention of parents, and some even deliberately. These cases need to be decided by the courts so a child who suffers and dies by intention is not missed.
 
  • #32
My mother gave me some wise advice. She said, always put your purse in the back of the car on the floor in front of the car seat. I did that and never again even came close to forgetting him!

I didn't get 9 months of pregnancy as I adopted. My biggest fear was forgetting him in the car. I did the first week I had him. Luckily, I made it to my front door when a nagging made me stop and think. I knew I was forgetting something! Whew!!!

GREAT ADVICE! I just want to repeat Linda's suggestion here for those who don't read the first page.
 
  • #33
TX and FL get very hot. In some other state, a child forgotten in a car might actually survive. But in a state like TX, the car would get extremely hot within minutes, and child will have no chance.
 
  • #34
So in your opinion, a person who not only forgets child in the car, but doesn't remember for hours the child was forgotten in the car, during which time the child basically bakes to death, is a good parent?

I think it's entirely possible for a great parent to forget.
 
  • #35
here's an idea! When a parent is driving his/her children around they should put the child on board sign on the front windshield (instead of side or back windows) or tie a large piece rope around the drivers wrist to remind them the child is in the car!!!

You know I was just thinking this might be good also for school bus drivers.,,
 
  • #36
That is so sad. Unfortunately this happens all the time every year every summer. With not only children but with dogs. People think because they leave their windows cracked that the dogs get enough air. Even with the windows open it still gets over 100 degrees in the car. I always thought that's what happened to Caylee Anthony. I'm not sure whether she left her intentionally and thought she would be right back or she forgot she had her. That is JMO of course.
 
  • #37
Absolutely. You know I have often wondered why I never hear about children being left in cars in the winter to die, just the summer. jmo

Probably because it's cold and the car would take much longer to get hot enough to kill the child, if it got hot enough at all (which I doubt).

It's all well and good for people to say that you should interact with your child, but often children fall asleep in the car!!! I feel absolutely terrible for anyone that does this accidentally, and I certainly don't think it means you must be a bad parent.
 
  • #38
Just thinking about some really awful accidental deaths around my town...

A family was moving, and they left a huge cabinet sitting near the doorway on a dolly. The 5-6 year old child climbed or jumped on the handle of the dolly and the cabinet came crashing down, killing the child instantly. Ultimately, they were responsible for the welfare of their child and securing all things that could harm him.

Another little girl was watching TV (back when they used to weigh 300lbs) and was pushing the entertainment center with her feet. It collapsed, and the TV fell on her. Her sibling couldn't get it off of her and ran to get help. She died. Ultimately, it was her parent's responsibility to make sure all heavy items in the house were secured and their child was free from harm.

Shari Burgess went to take a shower, thinking all the doors were locked and her older children were watching TV, when her 2 1/2 year old son, Bronner, snuck out the sliding door and drowned in the family swimming pool. Ultimately, it was Rick and Shari's responsibility to make sure Bronner was safe, the doors were locked, and the gate to the pool was closed.

My high school classmate's sister was building a new house, and there were piles of sand around the construction site to be used to mix mortar, etc. Dakota, aged 4, loved to play in these piles, and his mother and father even had let him bring little dump trucks to play in it. One grave day, Susan checked on Dakota to find two tiny legs sticking out of a pile of sand. The sand had collapsed where Dakota was digging, and smothered him to death. Ultimately, it was his parent's responsibility to keep him safe.

I could go on, and on. These are accidents. Extraordinary things that people thought would surely never happen to them, until it happened. I think it's safe to say that if ANY of these parents had a do-over, they'd never leave that cabinet unattended, they would have never purchased that heavy TV, Shari would have never taken that shower or had a pool, and Susan would have lived in her old house forever if it meant she could have Dakota. None of them were planned, even though they could have all been prevented. However, there are such a thing as accidents, and I believe that I am so darn lucky I've never been on the receiving end of such. You could lock me in jail, execute me, burn me daily with cigarette butts, and make me drink gasoline, but nothing, NOTHING would compare to the pain of losing my baby. NOTHING. To a parent who this truly was accidental, there would be no greater punishment.

I pray the "it could never happen to me" never happens to me.
 
  • #39
Ok I feel strongly about the kid in the car thing. I have a 3 year old. Not once, never ever have I forgotten I had a kid. I had horrible PPD, where I thought i was going cray cray, but not once did I forget my son wasnt back there. I put my purse in the front and still I cant imagine forgetting bout my son.

I've asked over and over. DO people not look back there? When my son was a baby and got really still. I would look back there. Ive had my routine change and everything weekly, but I havent forgotten to stop by the daycare.

what i've seen is parents distracted by their cellphone. I see people lettting their kids just walk accross the parking lot while they are texting and not paying any attention. I just dont know what to think anymore. I'm beginning to think im the odd one out. I am by nature a negative person. Totally. Glass half empty person. Which is good in some situations and bad.

For my job its great. I'm always playing devils advocate. I pick out flaws in others plans.Critical thinking is how I like to put it. I've been called a debbie downer, but you know what? Its that thinking that has saved my my butt over the years. People think it can never happen to me or it will be ok. I never think like that. I've had some crazy stuff happen to me. My motto is "If its bad its gonna happen to me first!". I plan for the worst, always. my mind automatically goes there. I know im not perfect and recognize my flaws. I try not to let my kid suffer for my short commings. People may call me a helicopter parent or whatever. Fine with me. To be honest, I had a lot of freedom when I was a kid and I have friends that parent that way too. I love my friends, but a lot of freedom sometimes mean I want to be left alone and not bothered by my kid for a few hours.

If your life is too hectic and chaotic to pay attention to your children then IMO you need to step back and reevalute what is important. She should be charged. The courts most times cannot tell if a child was neglected on purpose or on accident in cases like this.
 
  • #40
I find it really interesting and disheartening that so many are strenuously bent on vilifying this mother, and yet discussions about children who are killed/murdered by gun owners/siblings/visitors in their own homes rarely elicit this much venom or discussion. She made a tragic mistake which will haunt her for the rest of her life. She wasn't under the influence, wasn't playing around with guns, wasn't being willfully negligent. I can say there are a lot of things I would never do for fear of hurting my child. I cannot say that I would NEVER make a mistake such as this mother. NO ONE can. That's why it is such a shocking, tragic, horrific MISTAKE. Anyone who says they would never do it is just kidding themselves.
 

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