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Whitney Houston and her daughter Bobbi ... Wrong thread [emoji5]️
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I can only look at it this way: there is no way to PROVE that anything he may have experienced as a child, made him this way. Millions of children have been raised in "troubled homes" and never lured, raped, and murdered a child. Not that society should not continue trying to figure out what can make these people do what they do. But I think that we forget that being born disturbed is also an option in all these other reasons we try to explain away behaviors. Science wants to prove why (and I support that,) but sometimes I think part of the reason we want that...is so society doesn't have to accept the alternative: some people are born capable and prove to be capable of disturbed deeds. Some people will mever have a "reason" why they did such.
Totally JMO.
I completely agree with probably everyone else on this thread: a multitude of genetic and environmental factors go into the make-up of any child.
The following was my bible while raising my children. Now RIE principles are my bible with my grandsons. It's all grounded in Respect. And it ain't easy!
I'm sure many of you WSs will recognize this:
http://www.blinn.edu/socialscience/LDThomas/Feldman/Handouts/0801hand.htm
because of that case my sons never went to the bathroom alone or had to use the women's w me until they were big.
There is rearch, though. There is research on what are good parental strategies. Why not use them?
Brandon Wilson, 20, killed Matthew Cecchi, 7. I remember that case. It happened here in Southern California. The killer was totally insane.
I can only look at it this way: there is no way to PROVE that anything he may have experienced as a child, made him this way. Millions of children have been raised in "troubled homes" and never lured, raped, and murdered a child. Not that society should not continue trying to figure out what can make these people do what they do. But I think that we forget that being born disturbed is also an option in all these other reasons we try to explain away behaviors. Science wants to prove why (and I support that,) but sometimes I think part of the reason we want that...is so society doesn't have to accept the alternative: some people are born capable and prove to be capable of disturbed deeds. Some people will mever have a "reason" why they did such.
Totally JMO.
Funny, I don't remember suggesting we shouldn't....???
And there are situations where the parent is a good parent, and the child still does something horrendous.
BBM
I think you've touched on the reason society is so eager to find someone or something to "blame" even in very complex situations. It's very hard for people to accept that there may be some things that are beyond our control or are unsolvable, especially in humans. But that also applies to weather events, earthquakes, major accidents, etc. It's frightening on a deep level. So we (and scientists or government, etc) look for something that we can "fix" and ensure that the horror won't happen again.
On a fear-based, knee-jerk level many people zero in on and take aim at the easiest target to hold responsible for a tragedy, perhaps missing the broader more complex issues (witch hunt mentality). While we shouldn't stop trying to fix these problems, we also are wise to recognize that some of them may be beyond understanding or fixing right now or ever. I don't mean that in a defeatist sense at all. It just seems realistic to me to be able to live with temporary uncertainty in order to make sure that blame isn't narrowly focused, missing the bigger picture of possible cause and effect. JMO
And bringing it back to AJG, for example, whatever "caused" him to lure, rape and murder Maddy is very likely both the same and different from whatever "caused" Gabe Gaeta to do the same thing to Jenise Wright a year ago. Focusing only on upbringing just seems simplistic to me. JMO
I can only look at it this way: there is no way to PROVE that anything he may have experienced as a child, made him this way. Millions of children have been raised in "troubled homes" and never lured, raped, and murdered a child. Not that society should not continue trying to figure out what can make these people do what they do. But I think that we forget that being born disturbed is also an option in all these other reasons we try to explain away behaviors. Science wants to prove why (and I support that,) but sometimes I think part of the reason we want that...is so society doesn't have to accept the alternative: some people are born capable and prove to be capable of disturbed deeds. Some people will never have a "reason" why they did such.
Totally JMO.
BBM
I think you've touched on the reason society is so eager to find someone or something to "blame" even in very complex situations. It's very hard for people to accept that there may be some things that are beyond our control or are unsolvable, especially in humans. But that also applies to weather events, earthquakes, major accidents, etc. It's frightening on a deep level. So we (and scientists or government, etc) look for something that we can "fix" and ensure that the horror won't happen again.
On a fear-based, knee-jerk level many people zero in on and take aim at the easiest target to hold responsible for a tragedy, perhaps missing the broader more complex issues (witch hunt mentality). While we shouldn't stop trying to fix these problems, we also are wise to recognize that some of them may be beyond understanding or fixing right now or ever. I don't mean that in a defeatist sense at all. It just seems realistic to me to be able to live with temporary uncertainty in order to make sure that blame isn't narrowly focused, missing the bigger picture of possible cause and effect. JMO
And bringing it back to AJG, for example, whatever "caused" him to lure, rape and murder Maddy is very likely both the same and different from whatever "caused" Gabe Gaeta to do the same thing to Jenise Wright a year ago. Focusing only on upbringing just seems simplistic to me. JMO
I know people who have been raised by HORRID parents, and they have grown up to be happy, well-adjusted people in spite of their abusive childhoods. And I know some wonderful parents, who have done their best to love and care for their children, only to see one or two of them to grow into awful, uncaring sociopaths, or worse. There is more to it than just 'nurture' IMO. I think it can sometimes be genetic a d environmental, coming together in a perfect storm.
I know a lot of people that have endured much worse childhoods than this Awkward teen endured. JMO And none of them have raped and murdered a child.
K
But, that's just it: we don't know what he endured.
Lilibet, I don't think anyone is focusing only on upbringing, but just that it is a very critical factor. And it's often the Elephant in the Room. There are an infinite number of variables in each criminal case, so, of course, the cause won't be identical. But we must at least consider the family environment as a likely contributing factor.