CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #21

[Eileen730]

No but to me that is weird. I don't know anyone in my family who does "dinner and a movie" with their kids, unless they are just eating at home first which doesn't really count.

We go to the movies every weekend tonight we are going to see Django and Christmas we saw Le Miserable which was totally awesome.

We also go out to eat on those evenings!
My boys are 16 and 24 and we enjoy the time together!
Plus it tooo expensive so the kids would rather WE pay LOL

 

[Cardinal47]

Yes it does on many of the news sites ya see posts by ppl that live there and they have all said its a dead end place oney way in and one way out its been posted many times that there is not alot of traffic at all. Look at the homes they are set back off the roads...

What else are those locals saying...anything? I haven't read any news sites where there are postings. I would think they would be interesting to read.

I noticed the house/property across the street from MR is for sale.

 

[kkdj]

The thing about dinner-and-a-movie for fathers with visitation is that for two hours, you aren't spending time with your kid. You are sitting in a theater watching a movie. That's two hours you could spend bonding with your son, instead you are watching stuff blow up. I dunno, if I was a father with visitation I'm not sure I'd go to a movie unless the mother wouldn't take him and he really wanted to see it.

I understand what you are saying. I guess it matters if the visit is for 4 hours or the wkend. I just know it's fun to go to see a good movie and a good dinner.

 

[asyousay]

there is something about MR in his video interview that appears almost victimized. I'm not saying he actually IS, it just looks like he might have that opinion of himself. Like "poor me". not necessarily in relation to DR, but in general maybe. As if he gets along with people by making them feel sympathetic to him by playing victim a bit. which would mean - manipulative.
just an observation.

I agree. He seems to me to want to deflect away from himself from what i have seen.

He has come out and criticized LE for not doing things sooner twice i think now. And to me its a way to deflect attention away from him IMHO.

 

[PaulR]

My older boys were teenagers when my ex-husband and I separated. I was the one who dealt with the homework, parent-teacher conferences, activities, etc. The ex was the cool parent, took the boys to paintball, hunting, camping, fishing, movies, etc.

Yeah, but most of those activities (except for movies) are bonding activities. You are doing some active with your kids.

 

[Eileen730]

What else are those locals saying...anything? I haven't read any news sites where there are postings. I would think they would be interesting to read.

I noticed the house/property across the street from MR is for sale.

If ya read the posts under the news artices you can usually find out some sort of info. and it alot like reading here he did it he didnt do it!
But whats strange to me no one is talking about MR.
Like no one really knows this guy and if they do they aint telling!

 

[Confusion]

I understand what you are saying. I guess it matters if the visit is for 4 hours or the wkend. I just know it's fun to go to see a good movie and a good dinner.

I have to admit too; when my ex came to visit the boys and took them to dinner and a movie, he only had to drive for about 90 minutes- not 5-6 hours each way.

 

[Eileen730]

Yeah, but most of those activities (except for movies) are bonding activities. You are doing some active with your kids.

We are not a gun kind of family!
We did Archery and paint ball till that got old once the kids became teens they didnt want to be around us alot lol they wanted to be with their FRIENDS.

But going out to dinner and then a good movie is just as good as sitting at the table every sunday night for dinner and a good discussion!

 

[PaulR]

We are not a gun kind of family!
We did Archery and paint ball till that got old once the kids became teens they didnt want to be around us alot lol they wanted to be with their FRIENDS.

But going out to dinner and then a good movie is just as good as sitting at the table every sunday night for dinner and a good discussion!

We weren't a "gun" family either.

I'm assuming that you either had "full time" custody of your kids or were still married. In that case you have plenty of time to do whatever. If you only have visitation, you have to make the most of your limited time.

 

[Eileen730]

I have to admit too; when my ex came to visit the boys and took them to dinner and a movie, he only had to drive for about 90 minutes- not 5-6 hours each way.

The point i was trying to make about dinner and a movie was if Dylan didnt want to go be with him why not start slow and easy Dads a grown up if Dylan had to fly to meet him why cant dad fly or dive to meet him Till they liked each other a bit more it may have had a better ending then this sad story!

All JMOO

 

[TxJan1971]

What else are those locals saying...anything? I haven't read any news sites where there are postings. I would think they would be interesting to read.

I noticed the house/property across the street from MR is for sale.

BBM

I don't know how to move a previous post forward, but see Post #289 on this thread from All9ofUs who is reportedly a local.

 

[PaulR]

He has come out and criticized LE for not doing things sooner twice i think now.

If that is a sign of guilt, then I think almost everyone in this thread is guilty.

 

[vasportsmom]

We are not a gun kind of family!
We did Archery and paint ball till that got old once the kids became teens they didnt want to be around us alot lol they wanted to be with their FRIENDS.

But going out to dinner and then a good movie is just as good as sitting at the table every sunday night for dinner and a good discussion!

And generally even teens that normally avoid spending time with their parents like the plague won't pass up the offer of dinner and a movie.

 

[absentia]

I agree. He seems to me to want to deflect away from himself from what i have seen.

He has come out and criticized LE for not doing things sooner twice i think now. And to me its a way to deflect attention away from him IMHO.

In thinking more about it, it's almost like a puppy who's done something wrong and is waiting to get swatted or something. it's a weird form of guilt - more fear of getting in trouble than of actual guilt. but the puppy thing - you almost feel sorry for him, but that's the manipulation, I think.

face it, with his history of menacing, assault, abuse, alcohol etc., and his story about what happened being improbable, things don't look good for him.

 

[kkdj]

My older boys were teenagers when my ex-husband and I separated. I was the one who dealt with the homework, parent-teacher conferences, activities, etc. The ex was the cool parent, took the boys to paintball, hunting, camping, fishing, movies, etc.

Of course, now the boys are adults (22 and 25) and are closer to me. I was kind of annoyed that my exhusband was seen as their buddy, but now that several years have passed, I realize that the role he continued to fill as a decent adult male in their lives was important too. Maybe MR was making some efforts with Dylan because it doesn't sound like he made many efforts with any of his older boys. But maybe it was just too late to try and make things work with a 13 year old.

I'm not really going anywhere with this (like most of my posts lol).

I understand what you're saying but I think the history dad has with the rest of dylans family influenced dylans relationship with his dad. I do not get the feeling it was healthy.
Jmo

 

[Eileen730]

We weren't a "gun" family either.

I'm assuming that you either had "full time" custody of your kids or were still married. In that case you have plenty of time to do whatever. If you only have visitation, you have to make the most of your limited time.

Oh Paul!
No matter what i say you will disagree with me!
So lets agree to disagree! Ok? Peace my Friend!

all i was trying to say was there had to be a different way to go about this that would have ended better for all involved!

For Dad to GO to his son means he wants to be with him!
Make the first step. Dont make him go to you!

jmo

 

[Crosby87]

I have thought they got out of the truck too. Actually, what has occurred to me is that dad got mad at Dylan for not wanting to be with him, told him to get out, threw his backpack out with him, told him to find his own way to his friends, drank some in his truck, got out himself, chased Dylan, and Dylan lost the battle. No evidence in the truck. Then MR spent all night and most of the next day figuring out his story, which included a missing fishing pole.
But of course we don't know for sure, but this scenario would fit IMO.

I think Dylan’s disappearance was premeditated.

We know MR had visitation rights before Elaine was awarded primary custody and I don’t understand why visits with MR weren’t granted when Elaine was awarded primary custody of Dylan. Surely ER wasn’t awarded primary custody of Dylan without the Judge giving Mark a set number of visits for at least a year.

We know Dylan visited his father for ½ week in September and we don’t know if the visit was court-ordered or if Elaine had been awarded primary custody before this visit took place. If the visit in September wasn't CO, why did Mark go to court and ask the Judge to only approve one more visit with Dylan in November?

Dylan’s visit with his father in November was to last twice as long as his visit in September but it ended up being shorter and because Dylan disappeared at the start of the 2nd visit, it ended as abruptly as Dylan’s cell phone activity did on Sunday evening imo.

 

[asyousay]

If that is a sign of guilt, then I think almost everyone in this thread is guilty.

No as i said its imo to reflect away from himself. Like " don't look over here , concentrate over there "

 

[Eileen730]

And generally even teens that normally avoid spending time with their parents like the plague won't pass up the offer of dinner and a movie.

Esp if they dont have to use their own money! lol

Unfortunately its really expensive esp if ya get popcorn and sodas too.

 

[PaulR]

No as i said its imo to reflect away from himself. Like " don't look over here , concentrate over there "

Wouldn't an innocent person say the very same thing?