CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #24

[jennapuppy]

Personally i find this sad if that was the case. Spend Thanksgiving with just your dad and do basically nothing or have been home and spent it will your mum and brother and family and actually have a great time with all the food and what that entails ( i am from England so dont really know what goes on besides its all about family) .

Well, that's actually what my family did this Thanksgiving, which is why I thought of it. :floorlaugh:

In my family, we know that my niece and nephew will spend either Thanksgiving or Christmas at their dad's - it alternates each year. My family plans accordingly and has either an early Thanksgiving or early Christmas dinner with them when we know they will miss that holiday with us. And, when they are with their dad for the holidays, they always go out to eat. It's never a home-cooked meal. It is sad, but it's just the way it is, and we all adjust accordingly.

 

[jennapuppy]

As much traveling as my family has to do on Thanksgiving, I'd love it just once to stay home and eat a dirty tv dinner and watch my Dallas Cowboys.

My Texans were on the tube this Thanksgiving, so the family said to heck with a turkey, we're watching football!

 

[mijamawi]

So is it not like Christmas over here where you have family and relatives over and all sit around and have a massive dinner of Turkey ?

It really depends. I know on my husband's side (his step dad's side) it's all a bunch of fake "Hey we're family" stuff. The usual, "Oh we really need to get together more than just Thanksgiving." with absolutely no intentions of ever talking to that person again until next Thanksgiving. For some, Thanksgiving with a bunch of people is a chore. For some it's really a good time of giving thanks.

 

[asyousay]

Well, that's actually what my family did this Thanksgiving, which is why I thought of it. :floorlaugh:

In my family, we know that my niece and nephew will spend either Thanksgiving or Christmas at their dad's - it alternates each year. My family plans accordingly and has either an early Thanksgiving or early Christmas dinner with them when we know they will miss that holiday with us. And, when they are with their dad for the holidays, they always go out to eat. It's never a home-cooked meal. It is sad, but it's just the way it is, and we all adjust accordingly.

Just earlier on in one of the threads i read that Dylan wanted to be home due to his nan being sick and all the family being together ( i think it was her) and so it just seems harsh that he would miss all that to just go to dads where there was nothing even special in place for him .

IMHO


I was not trying to be rude with my post

i am sure you have a blast whatever you do. Just MOO about Dylan and his thanksgiving .

 

[Seajay]

So is it not like Christmas over here where you have family and relatives over and all sit around and have a massive dinner of Turkey ?

You pretty much make it what you want to. I imagine if you have no friends or family around, you do something low key. When I first got married, we went to another state away from family and friends because hubby was in the military. We knew no one. So it was just him and I. Our first Thanksgiving together. We didn't have the money on military pay for a turkey and all the trimmings. I cooked something we spent it by ourselves, just him and I.

We don't know if someone invited them over or was going to. It was still days away. I'm sure if Dylan's friends parents knew he was there and on their own, they would have gotten in invite. JMO

 

[Confusion]

Just earlier on in one of the threads i read that Dylan wanted to be home due to his nan being sick and all the family being together ( i think it was her) and so it just seems harsh that he would miss all that to just go to dads where there was nothing even special in place for him .
IMHO
I was not trying to be rude with my post
i am sure you have a blast whatever you do. Just MOO about Dylan and his thanksgiving .

To be honest, I'd just feel much better if I saw texts, emails, IMs or something written by Dylan saying that was what he wanted. I think we'd all like to believe that we've raised children who would choose dinner with a sick grandmother over seeing friends, but I'm not so sure that many of them really would prefer it. I'm not saying anyone lied about it, but I'm also not completely convinced that he shared his honest feelings about it. MOO

 

[Crosby87]

"Dylan has played Little League for years and excelled in the outfield" said his coach Paul Edwards. “He wasn’t a complainer and his passion for the game stood out among his teammates.”

REDWINE: Mark didn’t spend a lot of time with Dylan in the three years prior to Dylan moving to Colorado Springs so I just don’t think he knew Dylan all that well.

So did MR attend Dylan’s baseball games, practices, & tournaments and/or volunteer to pitch in and help out the team whenever he could?

According to Dylan’s coach, Dylan was an outstanding ball player so maybe Dylan was destined for a career as a professional baseball player.

Dylan was thriving in Colorado Springs so the move to the City was having a positive impact on him so the chances ER would ever loose primary custody of Dylan were slim to none. Dylan was excited to move to Colorado Springs this summer, his mother said. He likes the amenities of the city and the new social opportunities.

How did Dylan get to and from his baseball practices and games when he lived with his mom? Did he ride his bike, walk, get a ride with a family member, get a team member’s mother to pick him up? Baseball players have a tight demanding schedule. Mark said he tossed a ball around with Dylan Sunday night but did he support his son’s interest and passion for baseball when they lived in the same community and Dylan played on a team?

Baseball teams practice and play games during the week and they play in tournaments on the weekend, both home and abroad, so because he attended school during the week and played baseball on the weekend during the summer months, Dylan was likely in the habit of showering and preparing for the next day’s activities everyday imo. Because Dylan played on a baseball team for years, he’d be texting his team members and coaching staff regularly.

His mother, brother, Elaine’s fiancé and his two children – had just finished remodeling the house a bit north of Colorado Springs and moved in a few weeks before Dylan disappeared.

He had started to grow out of his shyness and spread his wings socially in the city. As the new boy in school, he already had attracted the attention of a number of girls, said Ashley Hall, Mike’s daughter.

He is a fan of Skate City, a local roller rink where middle-schoolers are known to mingle, and was starting to find a group of friends at his new school, Lewis Palmer Middle School, said his American History teacher, Suzanne Magerko.

http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20121215/NEWS01/121219687/-1/news01&source=RSS

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1212/03/ng.01.html

MOO

 

[Confusion]

<SNIP>

http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20121215/NEWS01/121219687/-1/news01&source=RSS

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1212/03/ng.01.html

MOO

Sorry, but I'm confused. What was the point you were making there? :waitasec:

 

[Seajay]

Just earlier on in one of the threads i read that Dylan wanted to be home due to his nan being sick and all the family being together ( i think it was her) and so it just seems harsh that he would miss all that to just go to dads where there was nothing even special in place for him .

IMHO


I was not trying to be rude with my post

i am sure you have a blast whatever you do. Just MOO about Dylan and his thanksgiving .

The way visitation usually works is the two parents alternate holidays. It's not based on where the kid will have the most fun or who is going to be at what home, it's based on equal holiday time with each parent, considering the child is in school the rest of the time and can't spend equal school time with each parents. It's trying to create fairness for both the child and the parents so each parent gets a change to spend quality time with the child.

 

[Abby Normal Again]

Re: Thanksgiving. I was raised with a single Dad... want to know how many T-Days we traditionally celebrated? Maybe 3. We would sometimes go out to a restaurant that had a bunch of fixings. Sometimes we would go to a friend's house or distant family members house, but few were the type to go all out either. Sometime we had frozen pizza and went to the movies.

And the thing is, I have some great childhood memories anyway. Just because it's culturally normal, doesn't mean it's superior or the only way to spend the day.

Now, as a mom, I usually don't know what I'm doing until 2-3 days before Tday, when I decide if I'm going to go to the butcher to buy a Turkey, or buy one premade from a smoke shop, or combine with friends, or go to a restaurant. Obviously, I'm not premeditating murder- I'm just lazy about this particular holiday.

I really don't think that single dads are known for cooking a whole meal from scratch. I think, generally, they either get invited somewhere or go to a restaurant if they don't. Going to a relatives house was probably in the back of his mind as an option, and they'd probably have decided by Tuesday-ish what restaurants were open and what invitations they had, if any, and what they wanted to do. That would be exactly how every Tday with my single father was spent. My dad made a turkey exactly zero times in my life.

 

[Cardinal47]

Absolutely. But as a loving parent, there's been times I've spent holidays alone, because my child was invited to a big to do at his dad's family's house, and I didn't have any family in the area. I wouldn't keep him from that, just for me. Plus I figure, the holiday isn't really any certain "day", we can always make our own.

And that is what good 'parenting ' is all about. The child's interest.

I have an idea the MR & ER battles have gone on forever with Dylan and his brother the pawns.

 

[oceanblueeyes]

The one thing we do know is that LE can and do lie, legally, if it fits their objectives and strategy. We have seen it over and over and over and over and over and over. Attorneys have told their clients that and told us here at WS that. I believe what LE says doesn't mean a thing. I know that every case is a new creature of its own and we tend to want to, once agin, believe what we are fed without remembering this truth. But it is what it is.

I completely dismiss any official comments from anyone in any capacity when it comes to who is suspect or cleared. Even if LE 'says' a person is cleared, that person can certainly still be arrested and charged for that very crime.

I also would not assume that the comment 'continues to cooperate' necessarily means that he is fully and completely cooperating nor does it mean he is 'following all the rules'. In fact, what all the rules actually are is in question itself.

Jennifer Kesse's father was said to be a wonderful dad, cooperative, and not suspect in any way, and yet he walked out on his poly without completing it, as far as I remember. I believe he publicly expressed his outrage that he was asked certain questions and that they had waited so long after her disappearance to poly him. I believe the father also did not want his son, Jennifer's brother who, I think, had stayed in her condo with friends just before she disappeared, polygraphed either. :what:

LE can say anything they want to say in an investigation. Therefore I don't lend much credibility to anything they say. But I have a great deal of respect for the process of solving crimes.

MOO

Im at a loss in understanding the relevance of Jennifer Kesse's father who is not and has not ever been a suspect has he? Or are you saying LE has named him as a suspect? Sorry I just dont understand your post.

Although even innocent parents can become upset with LEs accusatory questions directed at them. Mark Lunsford was highly angry at how LE proceeded with the investigation concerning his missing daughter..later found raped and murdered by John Couey when they were trying to pin it on his father even lying to them and telling him they had found Jessica's blood on his shirt when they had not.:furious:

But IMO they are able to lie to those they are trying to get a confession out of...we saw that with Michael Crowe and convinced that child that he must have murdered his own sister when of course he did not.

However that is not the same as publicly coming out and putting their reputations of truth and honesty in their community on the line. Police procedures behind the scenes are one thing............lying to the media and especially to the community (taxpayers) they live in is another matter entirely, IMO.

One thing no LE wants and that is to have egg on their face by coming out publicly and saying one thing and the later on having to backtrack leaving them looking inept. I do see how LE lies when interviewing someone like is seen on 48 hours but I have never seen a public law enforcement officer deliberately lie to their own community.

And I dont believe they are lying to this community in this case either.

There is nothing confusing about their statement that he continues to cooperate and there is no evidence that he isnt doing so ............so I will not assume that he isnt when LE says he has.

 

[momrids6]

"Dylan has played Little League for years and excelled in the outfield" said his coach Paul Edwards. &#8220;He wasn&#8217;t a complainer and his passion for the game stood out among his teammates.&#8221;

According to Dylan&#8217;s coach, Dylan was an outstanding ball player so maybe Dylan was destined for a career as a professional baseball player.

How did Dylan get to and from his baseball practices and games when he lived with his mom? Did he ride his bike, walk, get a ride with a family member, get a team member&#8217;s mother to pick him up? Baseball players have a tight demanding schedule. Mark said he tossed a ball around with Dylan Sunday night but did he support his son&#8217;s interest and passion for baseball when they lived in the same community and Dylan played on a team? <RS>
Baseball teams practice and play games during the week and they play in tournaments on the weekend, both home and abroad, so because he attended school during the week and played baseball on the weekend during the summer months, Dylan was likely in the habit of showering and preparing for the next day&#8217;s activities everyday imo. Because Dylan played on a baseball team for years, he&#8217;d be texting his team members and coaching staff regularly. <RS>
MOO

Little League Baseball is not an all year sport. Little League is spring or late spring- into summer, depending on what part of the US you are from. Little League traditionally practices 2 nights a week and 1 game on a weeknight or Sat, depending on age. They play in their own area, and do not travel all over, unless they are an all-star traveling team. There are traveling teams that play and practice more of the year. Players do not text staff, and staff do not text players- just like teachers are not encouraged to FB with students for the same reasons. Coaches communicate with parents. Only travel teams have a demanding schedule- for part of the year. LL is considered recreational, not prep for a pro career. LL tournaments are usually only at season's end. In certain places, there may be fall season LL, but it still has a start and end date.

It was mentioned that Dylan also played on a hockey team. Seems he was pretty athletic, but not obsessed with one particular sport at this time, imo.

 

[Abby Normal Again]

Re: letting kids go where they would have the most fun.

So by this logic, I should let my kids go play paintball with their friends rather than go to their Aunt Bertha's for the holidays? Because it would certainly be more fun for them, and definitely tops their personal interest. What if they wanted to stay home from a family trip to Italy in order to see a band in concert with their friend? Let them stay?

Or is there some consensus that sometimes kids need to have family, culture and tradition over what seems most appealing on he surface?

Just wondering.

 

[Confusion]

Re: letting kids go where they would have the most fun.

So by this logic, I should let my kids go play paintball with their friends rather than go to their Aunt Bertha's for the holidays? Because it would certainly be more fun for them, and definitely tops their personal interest. What if they wanted to stay home from a family trip to Italy in order to see a band in concert with their friend? Let them stay?

Or is there some consensus that sometimes kids need to have family, culture and tradition over what seems most appealing on he surface?

Just wondering.

The problem with this line of thought is that some parents would abuse it and plan some kind of family thing every time there was a visit scheduled with the other parent. Is it really fair that one parent gets a child for every holiday because he/she comes from a large family who puts a lot into the holidays, and the other parent is an only child who lives a distance from any living parents/grandparents, etc.?

My family (parents, siblings and offspring) started celebrating Thanksgiving on Saturday, and Christmas in January because it was too much of a hassle with all of the in-laws wanting one family or another at such and such a time on this or that day. I guess I don't really get what the big deal is, but I'm not like most people. I've seen most of my mother's family die off because of cancer, I very seldom go to big gatherings, and I hate having my picture taken. I would have chosen friends and McDonald's any time! MOO

 

[jennapuppy]

Just earlier on in one of the threads i read that Dylan wanted to be home due to his nan being sick and all the family being together ( i think it was her) and so it just seems harsh that he would miss all that to just go to dads where there was nothing even special in place for him .

IMHO


I was not trying to be rude with my post

i am sure you have a blast whatever you do. Just MOO about Dylan and his thanksgiving .

I understand what you're saying, and I didn't think you were rude. I agree, it is sad. My niece and nephew went through the same situation as children, which is why my family tried to do something special with them before the holidays, because we knew they would go out to eat at their dad's.

 

[Seajay]

"Dylan has played Little League for years and excelled in the outfield" said his coach Paul Edwards. “He wasn’t a complainer and his passion for the game stood out among his teammates.”

How did Dylan get to and from his baseball practices and games when he lived with his mom? Did he ride his bike, walk, get a ride with a family member, get a team member’s mother to pick him up? Baseball players have a tight demanding schedule. Mark said he tossed a ball around with Dylan Sunday night but did he support his son’s interest and passion for baseball when they lived in the same community and Dylan played on a team?

Baseball teams practice and play games during the week and they play in tournaments on the weekend, both home and abroad, so because he attended school during the week and played baseball on the weekend during the summer months, Dylan was likely in the habit of showering and preparing for the next day’s activities everyday imo. Because Dylan played on a baseball team for years, he’d be texting his team members and coaching staff regularly.

MOO

RSBM: If he was in LLBB, Inc. (Little League Baseball, Inc) I know a little about that, having spent 17 years in the organization, first as an Auxilary Board Member, then a local league Board member, then on to the District Level where I became Assistant District Administrator of a large area in Southern California that encompassed 11 local leagues. I was in charge of putting on the Little League Tournaments in our area, and then followed our winning teams to the Sectional, Divisional and Regional Levels, representing our team in any matters pretaining to "protests" or illegal game equipment. I was also in charge of dealing directly with Williamsport, PA in starting a "Challenger" program for physically and mentally challenged children who wanted the experience of organized baseball. Having said that.....

Sign-ups were usually in February, they should be going on now. Tryouts are next, then drafts for picking the teams. Then practice. Scheduled games usually start in late March/early April. (Hard to get games in because it gets dark so early.) By April games are going. The regular season usually ends about the beginning of June, then TOC's start. (Tournament of Champions.) This is different than Little League All Star tournements where only the best of the best from each league are chosen. TOC's is the first place team entact from each league. It's just a fun tournament for those who don't get to go further.

Late June LL All-Star Tournaments begin.

Regular games are usually scheduled one during the week, one on weekends, and the manager of the team squeezes in practices whereever he can get a field.

TOC's and All Star Tournaments are usually played both during the week and on weekends. But the loser bracket will play during the week based on time constraints to have a winning team to go to the next level. As Tournament Director, I ran games every day, multiple fields. Some days it would be the loser bracket, others the winners bracket. Dylan is at an age of 13 now, which would be the Junior Division of LL. If the league was small, then at 13 he would be put into the Senior Division with players from 13 years of age to 18 years of age by August 1st. FWIW.

 

[rebeccaeee]

http://www.hometeamsonline.com/teams/?u=PRYB&s=baseball&t=c

For all the baseball/little league talk. Dylan is listed on the Sultans roster for Spring 2012. Impressive fielding stats but the team had a losing record.

 

[asyousay]

Re: letting kids go where they would have the most fun.

So by this logic, I should let my kids go play paintball with their friends rather than go to their Aunt Bertha's for the holidays? Because it would certainly be more fun for them, and definitely tops their personal interest. What if they wanted to stay home from a family trip to Italy in order to see a band in concert with their friend? Let them stay?

Or is there some consensus that sometimes kids need to have family, culture and tradition over what seems most appealing on he surface?

Just wondering.

How is any of that what i said?



i said Thanksgiving is surely about spending time with loved ones and family and Dylan would of had more fun at home where all his family was who loved and adored him.

At MR's no plans and could of ended up doing pretty much nothing for all we know. And he is not exactly close to MR from what Elaine has said either.


ETA- this is all about the well being of Dylan at the end of the day !
MOO

 

[Seajay]

How is any of that what i said?



i said Thanksgiving is surely about spending time with loved ones and family and Dylan would of had more fun at home where all his family was who loved and adored him.

At MR's no plans and could of ended up doing pretty much nothing for all we know. And he is not exactly close to MR from what Elaine has said either.


ETA- this is all about the well being of Dylan at the end of the day !
MOO

It's about both parents having equal holiday time with the child, regardless of who is going to be where and what's going on. It's a system that has been used in our courts for decades. It's giving each parent a chance to be with their child. The mother is no more important in this than the father. Otherwise each holiday would be a contest as to who can plan something the most fun to let the child decide what he wanted to do. Just another competition. This system takes the competition out of it. It could be manipulated so easily by one parent or the other.