CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #36

[SuperMom1995]

Thanks. I like to visualize the situation and one way is through maps. I looked at the maps a long time ago, but don't remember any of the addresses. There was an address for dad and a town down the highway. Do you or anyone else have them handy?


Dad's story about Dylan doesn't seem right at all. Did he assume that his son was out hitch hiking? What is his explanation for why he thought it was perfectly normal that his son was not at home when he got home ... and that he was unable to contact him? Did he not think that it was his responsibility to know where his son was, or he didn't care enough to track down his son when he had no idea where he was or what he was doing? That doesn't sound right. Dad napped for six hours in the middle of the day? Does he work night shift or was her really hungover?

And that is one of the many reasons why many of us are focused on MR, not because we "don't like him"....

 

[Confusion]

If I am not mistaken, "Pat" is a fictitious character someone made up in a possible scenario description many, many posts back. The poster just picked a name out of a hat, so to speak, instead of saying, "X did this and then X did that," the poster said "Pat did this and then Pat did that."

Pat is based on someone who is off limits here, but more important is my way of showing that other possibilities (and even probabilities) do exist. The name came from Pat O'Neil Riley. Since we can't name anyone else, I thought a generic suspect could be put with different circumstances and something might click. MOO

 

[Babbi-Dan]

Otto, here is the location of MR's house on the map. He lives on co rd 500. He does not live at the end of the road. The road dead ends down a ways into a camp ground.

If you zoom around on the map and down to the campground you can get a better idea of the area.

Durango, 2300 County Road 500, Bayfield, CO - Google Maps

Are you correct is where Dylan's dad lives on this map? Where the red marker is? I think, instead, he lives a little further down the road, the last house on the left before the big green pasture with the pond in the back. I matched up the roof lines from the videos and my google search also shows this is where he lives.

 

[deoneta]

This is from a Colorado Law firm's FAQ

http://cordellcordell.com/resources/colorado/colorado-child-custody-questions/

What is joint custody? What is sole custody?

Colorado does not have joint custody or sole custody. Colorado uses the term parental responsibility – which can either be joint or primary. If you equally share in overnight visitation with the minor child, you have joint parental responsibility. If a parent has less then 90 overnight visitations with the minor child, the other parent is considered to have primary parental responsibility.

Colorado also divides residential responsibility from decision-making responsibility. Sole decision-making responsibility occurs when a parent is able to make all major decisions (education, religious, extracurricular, and medical) regarding the minor child without consulting with the other parent. Joint decision-making responsibility occurs when the parents have to share the responsibility of those decisions.
If both parents share custody does anyone pay child support?

Child support is determined based on gross monthly income and other expenses. Who has the majority of time with the child, while a factor, is not determinative of the support obligation.

 

[mmmagique]

I keep seeing all these threads about ER paying MR child support. IMO, she was probably paying him alimony.

If she was the primary custodian of CR and DR, I don't think she would be ordered to pay child support.

MOO

AZGrandma is a verified insider and she says that Elaine was ordered to pay child support.

In many states if the custodial parent makes considerably more than the non-custodial parent, the cp is ordered to pay child support, so the child can enjoy the same standard of living when visiting the ncp.

 

[SCHMAE]

This is from a Colorado Law firm's FAQ

http://cordellcordell.com/resources/colorado/colorado-child-custody-questions/

What is joint custody? What is sole custody?

Colorado does not have joint custody or sole custody. Colorado uses the term parental responsibility – which can either be joint or primary. If you equally share in overnight visitation with the minor child, you have joint parental responsibility. If a parent has less then 90 overnight visitations with the minor child, the other parent is considered to have primary parental responsibility.

Colorado also divides residential responsibility from decision-making responsibility. Sole decision-making responsibility occurs when a parent is able to make all major decisions (education, religious, extracurricular, and medical) regarding the minor child without consulting with the other parent. Joint decision-making responsibility occurs when the parents have to share the responsibility of those decisions.
If both parents share custody does anyone pay child support?

Child support is determined based on gross monthly income and other expenses. Who has the majority of time with the child, while a factor, is not determinative of the support obligation.

That is really so weird and foreign to me. In Texas shared/ joint custody means no child support from either party. All things are split 50 / 50 including medical expenses and such. The only way I could see a child support issue like that is if , let's say one parent has great medical insurance through their job, so they pay 300 out of their check monthly for it... then the other parent might need to reimburse 150 a month for it, for the INSURANCE as an expense, not child support per se. Colorado is weird !

 

[azgrandma]

So Dad texted Dylan from the house ... 11:30 or 2:30 (after his nap)? That would mean that cell phone service was available in the house ... and most likely cable and internet as well. It's possible that Dylan's cell phone was dead, but not likely that he was cut off from everyone. If he didn't connect with anyone ... did he have access to a computer in the house? Did his dad have a password protected system that Dylan couldn't access? That might be a reason to hitch hike ... teenagers cut off from social media would probably have some sort of withdrawal.

Catching up, so please forgive me if this was already addressed.

BBM - we witnessed cell phone service at the house. MB was interviewing MR and HER cell phone rang, she made some comment about how she forgot to turn her personal phone off.
IMO that indicates that although cell phone service may be spotty, it is there in the home.

 

[azgrandma]

Yeh, just like that. He sees the kid off and on, once during the summer for a vacation, then again in September for Labor Day but for not apparently reason, right out of the blue, on this Thanksgiving trip, he decides to do away with his kid to get even with the ex he's been battling in court with for 6 years. Of course, she's been battling, too, cuz after all it takes two to tango, but we can forget about that little detail in our story because it's all about MR out of the blue deciding to get revenge on his ex. IMO

IMO I see no reason for any parent to murder their child. It's beyond my comprehension.
Court battles are not dances in which you can pick and choose if you want to tango. If you are in the process or have already completed a divorce, when an additional motion is filed with the courts, both parents are required to be present. That doesn't mean that they want to tango, it means they have to tango. Of course it is possible to ignore an order to appear, but most people don't.
IMO it's not about revenge at all.

 

[catswhiskers]

Catching up, so please forgive me if this was already addressed.

BBM - we witnessed cell phone service at the house. MB was interviewing MR and HER cell phone rang, she made some comment about how she forgot to turn her personal phone off.
IMO that indicates that although cell phone service may be spotty, it is there in the home.

In Australia at least, our coverage/service is very dependent on the company you use. This is especially true if you are outside major cities around the country - some carriers have little or no reception in country areas. I'm wondering if it's a similar situation in the US? I seem to recall Ransom saying she had a verizon phone and had no reception at all standing in front of MR's place.

Apologies Ransom if I just misquoted you!

 

[SCHMAE]

IMO I see no reason for any parent to murder their child. It's beyond my comprehension.
Court battles are not dances in which you can pick and choose if you want to tango. If you are in the process or have already completed a divorce, when an additional motion is filed with the courts, both parents are required to be present. That doesn't mean that they want to tango, it means they have to tango. Of course it is possible to ignore an order to appear, but most people don't.
IMO it's not about revenge at all.

I agree on this one grand. If one person is always filing a court doc for this or that, then the other party HAS to appear or they lose, even if they didn't want it. I've seen it time and time again where parents want to go to court every time someone brings the child home at 7pm instead of 6pm because the DIVORCE PAPERS say 6 PM ! Another reason is expenses. Both parties may pay their fair share and all is well, but one parent decides their child MUST go to this summer camp that costs 1200 $ and when the other parent balks at the unnecessary expense, we're going to court !

eta,, Can you tell I've been through that one? LOL Hard time just buying groceries and given 2 weeks notice to come up with half of an unplanned, but now emergency summer camp !

 

[azgrandma]

Who is Pat??????

"Pat" is X, way way back Confusion used the name "Pat" to make the point, it made the story flow better. She prefaced it with something to the effect of X = "Pat" to make it clear that there is no real "Pat"

 

[rebeccaeee]

[/B]


That is really so weird and foreign to me. In Texas shared/ joint custody means no child support from either party. All things are split 50 / 50 including medical expenses and such. The only way I could see a child support issue like that is if , let's say one parent has great medical insurance through their job, so they pay 300 out of their check monthly for it... then the other parent might need to reimburse 150 a month for it, for the INSURANCE as an expense, not child support per se. Colorado is weird !

Same in Nevada as Colorado and we're one of those no-fault divorce law states with 50/50 splits. However, standard of living is a big deal. Family courts enforce child support as a way to equalize the living situation for kids. avoids having kids say "I don;t want to go to X parent's house because they don't have cable" and other BS. Hardly ever works this way IMO. The rental income from the Windmill Dr house should have offset the loss of child support but IMO this isn't about $$$, it's about control.

 

[azgrandma]

I keep seeing all these threads about ER paying MR child support. IMO, she was probably paying him alimony.

If she was the primary custodian of CR and DR, I don't think she would be ordered to pay child support.

MOO

She was paying child support. Alimony in CO is really hard to get for the average person. Keep in mind that child support is not only determined by who has primary custody, it's income & visitation and some magic calculator with crazy formulas that only the courts and child support enforcement have the key to.

 

[SCHMAE]

SO I'm thinking basements ! Who lives in an area where every home has a basement and can tell us about their sturdiness, soundproofing qualities, depths, about how easy it is to make a hidden basement? or an escape hatch in the basement ? Idk, do I watch too many movies? Maybe. But anywhere in CO, I feel a basement is quiet and I don't know can you hear upstairs if someone is in a basement yelling? I don't know that I've ever been inside one, so sorry if the questions are stupid. tks

 

[cluciano63]

"Pat" is X, way way back Confusion used the name "Pat" to make the point, it made the story flow better. She prefaced it with something to the effect of X = "Pat" to make it clear that there is no real "Pat"

Actually that name was given because the poster said it refers to someone who cannot be accused, if I am not mistaken. Or something like that. Which is not exactly the same thing as some anonymous person.

 

[Eileen730]

Catching up, so please forgive me if this was already addressed.

BBM - we witnessed cell phone service at the house. MB was interviewing MR and HER cell phone rang, she made some comment about how she forgot to turn her personal phone off.
IMO that indicates that although cell phone service may be spotty, it is there in the home.

I also think that done on purpose! JMO

 

[azgrandma]

[/B]


That is really so weird and foreign to me. In Texas shared/ joint custody means no child support from either party. All things are split 50 / 50 including medical expenses and such. The only way I could see a child support issue like that is if , let's say one parent has great medical insurance through their job, so they pay 300 out of their check monthly for it... then the other parent might need to reimburse 150 a month for it, for the INSURANCE as an expense, not child support per se. Colorado is weird !

I should've moved to TX :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:

 

[SCHMAE]

Cut !

 

[mmmagique]

She was paying child support. Alimony in CO is really hard to get for the average person. Keep in mind that child support is not only determined by who has primary custody, it's income & visitation and some magic calculator with crazy formulas that only the courts and child support enforcement have the key to.

True, but to get an idea of how child support works in Colorado, you can use the child support calculator found here.

 

[TxLady2]

Seajay, I get that. How does one go from a jerk to this? I struggled with it for days, literally vomitting. It's not something you want to think, you try to think everything but that. The reason I came here is because I wanted to be proven wrong and I still do. Everything and anything that anyone might say about me, it's not something I didn't say to myself. It's not easy, never claimed for it to be and I know you aren't saying it is. It's a torment that I can't describe or even begin to put in words. When you honestly have to say those words to someone. I can write them, it's easy because there is no way of knowing how long it has taken me to write them. But I choke each time, I dance each time, and each time those words are said, I cry. I know MR and as much as anyone may believe that it was years ago, he hasn't changed. I have sat here and predicted with 100% accuracy what he would say and do. Yes, there are things that I have since heard that have shocked me, but what not in a good way. His actions then are exactly the same as they are now.
I, of all the people in the world, do not want to know that I could have married someone that is capable of harming a child. I don't want my kids to know that the are a product of that. If I could tell you the talks that we have had, they would tear your heart apart. We DON'T want to believe it, we DON'T want to think it and we absolutely DON'T want to live it. But we are. I don't remember the last conversation my children had with me where we didn't force ourselves to NOT discuss Dylan or MR. I find it hard to even say or type his name, that's how hard it is.
How someone can go from A to B is beyond my scope of understanding and acceptance. It does seem more and more that it is our reality. I was not easy or made lightly.

With all due respect, this doesn't answer the poster's questions. Your last paragraph makes it even harder to rationalize to me. If it's beyond your scope of understanding or acceptance, then how on earth did you come to this conclusion, that this man is capable of murdering his own son? What did he DO that caused these feelings? There has to be something, IMO, otherwise it is just feelings and doubts... not certainty.

Did he ever cause serious harm to one of you? Did he ever threaten to hurt or kill one of the boys, either verbally or physically? Did he pick up a baseball bat or a club or a gun, and come toward any of you in a threatening manner? (That right there, in Texas, is enough to land someone in jail, btw.)

Please understand, I mean no disrespect, I am only asking what happened to make you think he's capable of murder. Your post only covers your feelings, it says nothing about what HE has done that caused them. That's all we're asking. WHY would he want Dylan dead?

IMO, it takes a special kind of evil for a parent to kill their own child. So far I have not seen any evil in this man. You know him better than we do, so I'm not asking HOW you feel, but WHY you feel that way.

Again, I apologize if this is too personal. If you can't answer, then just ignore, I'll understand.