This is what I don't understand. I use to tell my kids no all the time about things they wanted to do, and for different reasons. It didn't make me a monster or angry or hateful or mean. It made me a parent, who for whatever reason there was at the time, would tell my kids no to something.
One thing that got my kids an automatic no was coming to me with wanting to do something without knowing before hand the "what, where, why, how, who, when" questions answered. I was not going to play games with them all day about their plans. If they couldn't tell me "I want to go the xxxx mall with Gina at 3:30 pm, Gina's mother is taking us, can you pick us up, I'm going to need $50 because I need to get a blouse for school and we'll be back about 6:00 pm", they didn't go.
Another automatic no was having one of their friends ask for them. Another automatic no was to ask me if they could do something in front of their friends.
It was parenting. Just because parents are divorced doesn't mean the inmates run the asylum when the kids visit and got to call the shots. What parent would do that???