CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #5

[Marilynilpa]

The point here is that this information came from the Dad or his side of the family. We really do not know if this is the truth or not. Was it normal for Dylan to go to bed early if he stayed up late the night before? Really do not know this as a verified fact. Just Dad's comment. :twocents:

BBM

Not to be snarky, but who else would the information come from? Obviously there's no way to know for sure what happened, since only Dylan and his dad were there. Dylan isn't around to tell us, and dad's story can't be independently verified.

In this case, I can see Dylan being unhappy, possibly sulky, and probably not trying to hide his feelings from his dad. And I can see Dylan going directly to bed when he got to his dad's house. Not to sleep, but to get away from dad. After all, he is a 13 year old boy on a court-ordered visit to his father. JMO

 

[LadyBugSTL]

I'm so sorry LadyBug, I lost my Dad that way as well. *Hugs*

Thank you. I'm so sorry for you too *Hugs* back

 

[mck16]

The point here is that this information came from the Dad or his side of the family. We really do not know if this is the truth or not. Was it normal for Dylan to go to bed early if he stayed up late the night before? Really do not know this as a verified fact. Just Dad's comment. :twocents:

I have to say this. Hess is a friend of the family. Not just MR's. She is a friend of both. Check the transcript. jmo

 

[jjenny]

Being on this fence is really starting to wear and tear on my butt.... But I refuse to come off of it yet. Hope you are all cozy in the tunnel...

IF....and its a big IF.... DR did not ever make it to Dads house, do you think it could be that they argued and he put the boy out of the vehicle. example..."you want to spend this weekend so bad with your Mother, well walk" or "you want to be with your friends over me, well walk" and then poof he disappeared. MR might be afraid now that he dug a hole with his story to tell the truth of what really happened. I am just drawing straws here and thinking of any scenerio that would make it that he did not make it to spend the night on Sunday night. My ex during the end of our relationship used to toss me out and tell me to walk, so just thinking this could happen....IMHO

If Dylan got kicked out of father's car, then presumably the first thing he would do is to call his mother/brother.

 

[vasportsmom]

Don't worry about Nurse's needle, I have intergallatic weapons on board. :abduction:


Don't sleuth anyone in this case. We don't have a named POI. I mean it. The only record that can be posted are those of any RSO's in the surrounding area.

Needle vs alien probe?

Where is Salem & Ima?


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[Tennlyn]

Do you mean "violent outside the home" as in, willing to be violent publically? or do you mean violent with others, other than family members behind closed doors?

I think statistically this would vary to such a degree it would be hard to get any hard statistics on it to be honest.

I meant violent with others. My past education/experience (and what I just skimmed after a quick Google search) makes me think that it isn't unusual for some men to be controlling and abusive within the home, but others would only see 'Mr. Nice Guy'. I'm trying to gauge the accuracy of my opinion.

 

[Rougelatete]

Just a general question here...
Anyone got any statistics about how many abusive men are violent outside the home? Would that be common or extremely rare?

Just to be clear, there are many different types of violence and many different causes (I am State Certified in domestic batterer intervention so I've worked with both abusers and survivors). There's an old adage in the field that the most 'successful' abuser is the one who is not physically violent -- his control over the victims is powerful enough simply by his words, threats, and the fear he instills in his victims.

From my experience, men who were abusive in the privacy of their homes were generally not abusive or violent in public and the abuse or violence was generally directed solely at their intended victims (like the wife or children). It wasn't that they had a huge temper that could not be controlled and they would just haul off and beat up strangers or friends without any warning (although there are disorders that can cause that -- which is why I'm being clear that there are different types of violence with different causes).

Some violence can be caused by impulse control problems such as those with Intermittent Explosive Disorder. But, domestic violence is in a different category (usually) and involves a PATTERN of coercion, power, and control over a victim.

 

[Gardenlady]

My son is now 24, and a wonderful, young man, in every way. But when he was
14 or so he and my husband almost came to blows a couple of times. Our son went through an emotional time with his first break up, our recent move to a new town and a few other stressful things. He became very disrespectful and mouthy, and my DH came at him hard. Neither wanted to back down. They would bump chests and be screaming in each others faces. Tough times but we all got through it successfully. Nobody actually took a swing, but they sure did come close. The worst time I remember was when my DH came home and heard our 14 yr old having a tantrum and calling me disrespectful names, like saying I was 'stupid.' DH heard him and went after him and neither would back down. DH wanted him to apologize, but the upset 14 yr old wanted me to apologize to him, because he felt I had said bad things about his ex. [ which I did.:angel: ] So it was an emotional mess for a time. The main thing we learned was that DH and Son needed more quality time together, which they both made time for. Ten years later, they are very very close and I think it was a good thing overall.

This is what leads me to believe that Dylan and his dad MIGHT have had a fight. I remember one of the times my son and DH fought it was nearly physical because DS says he is leaving, it is midnight, and DH says 'try it'
and DS is saying ' try and stop me.' Well obviously DH was bigger and stronger, and COULD have physically stopped him, but he didn't take the bait. He let him walk out. But what if he had tried to stop him? Someone could have been hurt. It can happen.

O/t, but THANK YOU for sharing this. My nearly 16 year old son, who is about the gentlest soul you'd ever meet (as in pacifistic, very mellow, friendly, and pretty much always happy), recently tried to square off against my husband during an argument! to which my husband (also a pacifist, practicing Buddhist, mellow dude) responded by squaring off back at him. I walked in, hearing the shouting, to see these two 6'4" skinny beanpoles practically bumping chests and was horrified and shocked ("THIS is my gentle son?!" and "WTF my husband never even really gets angry, that's MY job!"). My son instigated the whole thing, made like he was gonna take a swing, and husband stood his ground, and basically told him "come at me, go ahead!"...

Minutes later after some silence, son was suddenly unsuccessfully trying not to cry angry and embarassed tears, and then they were hugging. :what:

WTF, sez I... Even the least macho men must do this stuff? LOL. I thought maybe we had a dysfunctional family or something, but after thinking about it, I remember similar stuff with my dad and brother, and now hearing your story... So I feel better!

They say WOMEN are hard to understand?! :what:

 

[FlyerFan28]

Bipolar or alcoholic or both?
I have first hand experience with both of those.

 

[Seajay]

Even if my scenerio is total off kilter. You could very well be right about him purchasing the pole when they stopped for groceries. That would be something he would notice if DR made it to his house, and if it was gone with him after his errands the next day. IMHO

The fishing pole is just on thing of many that keeps throwing me off a bit.

OR, MR really did buy DR the fishing pole, then when this something happened, MR worried a trace of the pole being purchased would be found via survellience cameras to Wal-Mart or buy reciept and this was his was of explaining the ABSENCE of the fishing pole at his house if he's going with the story DR went to bed when he got home.

 

[vasportsmom]

Is that the one Jesus calls on? (Not being sacrilegious, just referring to comments made yesterday!)

No!! Everyone promised they wouldn't give Jesus the number!


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[Tessie]

http://www.kjct8.com/news/Investiga...-boy/-/163152/17609894/-/yrl3duz/-/index.html

Author: PJ Edgell, Digital Content Director
UPDATED: 01:43 PM MST Nov 30, 2012

<snipped>

I'm losing my balance here on the fence.
Does anyone think that this "interview" included a lie dectector test?

 

[vasportsmom]

Oh crap... everyone get your foil hats!:what:

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[jjenny]

mom said that? "he was just learning new things"

how odd. did the darn kid ever get to even leave his moms house?? did they actually confirm that she got a text on her phone from "someone"

Are you kidding me? There is a good reason for mother to use past tense-she already told us her suspicions. And yes, they confirmed he left the house and arrived at the airport near his father's place.

 

[Portabella]

If Dylan got kicked out of father's car, then presumably the first thing he would do is to call his mother/brother.

yes and no. My darling ex used to be sure to dump me where I was miles and miles from town. I had no cell, but in that area even with a functioning cell, you would not have service. There are plenty of places between airport and home he could put him out, where he would have no way to contact, or no homes to even run to. Alot can happen to a little guy alone out in the dark. Just a thought, again nothing but me drawing straws. IMHO

 

[OtherEyes]

http://www.kjct8.com/news/Investiga...-boy/-/163152/17609894/-/yrl3duz/-/index.html

Author: PJ Edgell, Digital Content Director
UPDATED: 01:43 PM MST Nov 30, 2012

<snipped>

Thanks! Two Parts I found interesting...

Authorities have ruled out the possibility that Dylan is a runaway due to the length of time he's been missing, lack of cell phone activity, and the fact that he hasn't contacted any family or friends.

They also believe there's no chance Dylan wandered off and became lost in the wild.

BBM

Lt. Shupe said they would like to thank the community for sharing video footage of the Vallecito area, taken between the evening of Sunday, November 18 and noon on Monday, November 19.

"Footage is currently being analyzed by investigators for clues," said Lt. Shupe.

The task force is still requesting video footage or photographs that include vehicles traveling on any routes between Durango and Vallecito Reservoir during that time frame.

If you feel you have photos, or information that could assist in the search for Dylan, call the dispatch office at (970) 385-2900.

http://www.kjct8.com/news/Investigators-interview-father-of-missing-boy/-/163152/17609894/-/yrl3duz/-/index.html

 

[Gardenlady]

I'm losing my balance here on the fence.
Does anyone think that this "interview" included a lie dectector test?

I'm not a fan of LDTs in general, but I'm really hoping the interview included one in this case. :what:

 

[StJohn]

One thing keeps bugging me. It has been reported, & discussed here, that Dylan had all his belongings, backpack, cell phone,etc, with him when he disappeared. Why would he do that? That sounds more like a kid running away, yet LE says they know he is not a runaway. Could it be someone wanted him to appear to be a runaway?

 

[Rougelatete]

I meant violent with others. My past education/experience (and what I just skimmed after a quick Google search) makes me think that it isn't unusual for some men to be controlling and abusive within the home, but others would only see 'Mr. Nice Guy'. I'm trying to gauge the accuracy of my opinion.

This is just my opinion from having worked directly with a number of male domestic batterers but....nicest guys you've ever met, if you didn't know better. Seriously, they were more polite and gentlemanly than any other clients I worked with -- most would hold the door open for me, call me 'miss' or 'ma'am,' and pull my chair out for me. It was striking, the juxtaposition -- knowing what these men had done, having seen their CORI's, having worked with their victims. There was such a Jekyll and Hyde feel to it all. Often, the victims would report that this was the 'side' their abuser presented when they were first dating or in the early days of the marriage and that they felt tricked or fooled later when some of the early signs of power and control started setting in.

 

[Portabella]

Just to be clear, there are many different types of violence and many different causes (I am State Certified in domestic batterer intervention so I've worked with both abusers and survivors). There's an old adage in the field that the most 'successful' abuser is the one who is not physically violent -- his control over the victims is powerful enough simply by his words, threats, and the fear he instills in his victims.

From my experience, men who were abusive in the privacy of their homes were generally not abusive or violent in public and the abuse or violence was generally directed solely at their intended victims (like the wife or children). It wasn't that they had a huge temper that could not be controlled and they would just haul off and beat up strangers or friends without any warning (although there are disorders that can cause that -- which is why I'm being clear that there are different types of violence with different causes).

Some violence can be caused by impulse control problems such as those with Intermittent Explosive Disorder. But, domestic violence is in a different category (usually) and involves a PATTERN of coercion, power, and control over a victim.

I have no degree in this, but I do have experience being a survivor. This is soooo true, you hit the nail on the head. However, I will say, they can explode and become extremely violent when you threaten that control. It can go from mental abuse to physical in a heartbeat when you fight back or stand up for yourself...IMHO