CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #51

[Bayou Mistress]

I understand. But the question remains:

If she WENT MISSING in his care, would you allow him to text only, and not speak to you about her disappearance?

I can't answer that fairly. I may have learned what not to do from this case. I don't think he would block me calling--he's the glib sort who thinks nothing is his fault, ever. You know the type. People think MR is that type; I don't. My ex would want to be talking his way out of responsibility--he'd be offering up all kinds of details, he'd be making a story out of it.

 

[Emma Ems]

I do not accept that SHE was the irrational one. JMO

I look at her life at the time this happened. And I compare it to his situation. She had a very high level, responsible position, and was about to be married, and was raising the boys. She was very close to her family and friends. I see nothing that leads me to believe she was irrational.

Compare and contrast to his life's circumstances. Pretty much estranged from his three older sons and most of his family. Very few friends and little community support.<Mod Snip>. A job that took him out of town most of the time. Possibly a drinking habit. I see potential for him to be irrational I even saw that in the DP taping. Irrational accusations against ER. Irrational choices, like Jim Beam the night before a national TV appearance.
And when talking to Tricia, he went on a few irrational rambling tirades. One was when he went into a lengthy, irrational rant about the Search Warrants and the failure to issue an Amber Alert. Irrational. :moo:

So you think that how ER behaved on the show was perfectly normal? Because to me, it wasn't. To me, I stress that. To others it may be, but if I was talked to like that, every single time we tried to communicate, I would block to. I can see that side. That is all I am trying to say here. That some people can tolerate more than other people, and some people tolerate less. I would not tolerate someone speaking to me like that no matter how angry they were, I would get up and walk away. Guilty or not. It could be understandable. I understand that she has reasons to be angry too, but I also see that acting like that is not the way to go about getting someone to "want" to communicate with you either. That pushes people away.

I look at it like this, if you do something to me and I have a reason to be angry about it, are you just going to stand there and let me scream at you every single time we happen to bump into each other, or eventually will you say enough is enough and avoid me?

 

[katydid23]

I believe I have seen those articles, and interviews, but I don't recall the conversation about unblocking the phones. Are you deducing the information from those actions?

If Cory went to visit Mark at home, then I have to assume they were communicating. It leads me to believe they were actively communicating by text at the time. And since Elaine wanted to SPEAK to Mark, I am assuming that Cory would have asked him to unblock his phone.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

And I am trying to understand WHY someone might do things differently. And when I try to understand why Mark makes some of the choices he does, I think it makes him look very suspicious.


Why would he care more about being yelled at, then about speaking to her to get valuable info about his missing son?
the most valuable thing she had to tell him was that she didn't know where Dylan is.


Why did he block her phone calls right from the start and never speak to her about Dylan? Texting is not speaking, imo. We don't know the date or dates of the blocking action on his phone.

Why did he go report D missing, BEFORE calling Cory or Elaine, to see if they had heard from him that day? My understanding is that he texted EH and then went directly to the Marshall's Office

Why didn't he look to see if the pack was missing?

Let's see, backpack? Or son? Look for the kid and the backpack only became important when Dylan wasn't located by early evening.

My responses in Blue.

 

[Deleted member 39678]

If Cory went to visit Mark at home, then I have to assume they were communicating. It leads me to believe they were actively communicating by text at the time. And since Elaine wanted to SPEAK to Mark, I am assuming that Cory would have asked him to unblock his phone.

That's too much assuming for me. I want to know what really happened before I make a decision about how well this family communicated. MOO.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

So you think that how ER behaved on the show was perfectly normal? Because to me, it wasn't. To me, I stress that. To others it may be, but if I was talked to like that, every single time we tried to communicate, I would block to. I can see that side. That is all I am trying to say here. That some people can tolerate more than other people, and some people tolerate less. I would not tolerate someone speaking to me like that no matter how angry they were, I would get up and walk away. Guilty or not. It could be understandable. I understand that she has reasons to be angry too, but I also see that acting like that is not the way to go about getting someone to "want" to communicate with you either. That pushes people away.

I look at it like this, if you do something to me and I have a reason to be angry about it, are you just going to stand there and let me scream at you every single time we happen to bump into each other, or eventually will you say enough is enough and avoid me?

I would not tolerated someone talking to me like that. At no time in that show did EH and MR communicate. I expected so much more from Dr. P.

 

[katydid23]

So you think that how ER behaved on the show was perfectly normal? Because to me, it wasn't. To me, I stress that. To others it may be, but if I was talked to like that, every single time we tried to communicate, I would block to. I can see that side. That is all I am trying to say here. That some people can tolerate more than other people, and some people tolerate less. I would not tolerate someone speaking to me like that no matter how angry they were, I would get up and walk away. Guilty or not. It could be understandable. I understand that she has reasons to be angry too, but I also see that acting like that is not the way to go about getting someone to "want" to communicate with you either. That pushes people away.

I look at it like this, if you do something to me and I have a reason to be angry about it, are you just going to stand there and let me scream at you every single time we happen to bump into each other, or eventually will you say enough is enough and avoid me?

By the time they reached the Dr Phil show, Elaine was out of her mind with anger and frustration. It did not have to be that way. He blocked her phone calls from the very first day. He NEVER spoke to her about Dylan. EVER. He only texted and emailed several times. But no direct conversation concerning their missing son.

And she already knew, that he already knew, that the mail lady sighting was debunked. She was watching him out and out LIE on national Television about his missing son. And he was pointing the finger of blame at her, as if she kidnapped Dylan. I am surprised she didn't jump on him and gouge his eyes out.

If I thought my ex had kidnapped/killed my son, I would have acted the same way she did. I cannot fault her. If he is innocent then he could do things to clear himself. Unfortunately, he is not going in that direction. JMO

 

[Eileen730]

So you think that how ER behaved on the show was perfectly normal? Because to me, it wasn't. To me, I stress that. To others it may be, but if I was talked to like that, every single time we tried to communicate, I would block to. I can see that side. That is all I am trying to say here. That some people can tolerate more than other people, and some people tolerate less. I would not tolerate someone speaking to me like that no matter how angry they were, I would get up and walk away. Guilty or not. It could be understandable. I understand that she has reasons to be angry too, but I also see that acting like that is not the way to go about getting someone to "want" to communicate with you either. That pushes people away.

I look at it like this, if you do something to me and I have a reason to be angry about it, are you just going to stand there and let me scream at you every single time we happen to bump into each other, or eventually will you say enough is enough and avoid me?

What did Dr. P say they had not spoken in 2 yrs?

Their child is missing and that child was last seen with MR How was she supposed to talk to him? He sends her a text her son is missing and wont talk to her let her yell she will stop but heck let her yell. He is a grown man.

JMO

 

[Bayou Mistress]

By the time they reached the Dr Phil show, Elaine was out of her mind with anger and frustration. It did not have to be that way. He blocked her phone calls from the very first day. He NEVER spoke to her about Dylan. EVER. He only texted and emailed several times. But no direct conversation concerning their missing son.

And she already knew, that he already knew, that the mail lady sighting was debunked. She was watching him out and out LIE on national Television about his missing son. And he was pointing the finger of blame at her, as if she kidnapped Dylan. I am surprised she didn't jump on him and gouge his eyes out.

If I thought my ex had kidnapped/killed my son, I would have acted the same way she did. I cannot fault her. If he is innocent then he could do things to clear himself. Unfortunately, he is not going in that direction. JMO

I know that's how you see it, Katydid. I see it differently. IMO, EH damaged her own reputation on the Dr P show. The show was about drama and blame and not about a missing boy at all. It was such a disappointment.

 

[Deleted member 39678]

I would not tolerated someone talking to me like that. At no time in that show did EH and MR communicate. I expected so much more from Dr. P.

I didn't expect more from Dr Phil because Dr Phil is going to do what is good for his shows ratings and not necessarily his guests. That's why I didn't think it was a good idea for Mark to go on his show. MOO.

 

[Eileen730]

I would not tolerated someone talking to me like that. At no time in that show did EH and MR communicate. I expected so much more from Dr. P.

I expected more from MR.

 

[Emma Ems]

I have yet to see evidence that he blocked her calls the very first day. Personally I was not there when any communication efforts were made by either to witness what may have caused what to happen. All I can attest to is what I saw on DP, and if that was the way ER tried to communicate with him if and when efforts were made, I cannot fault him for blocking her. I equate yelling and screaming with verbal abuse. It has been something I had to endure the first 18 years of my life and it's not something I would tolerate from any other adult, as I am now an adult I do not have to put up with it. It's okay for a person to set boundaries in regards to things like that, such as, I will talk to you as long as you don't yell at me. I have been enraged at people before but I do not yell at them because it's not how I want to be treated and I know all to well what it feels like. Truthfully after having been yelled at so much in my life, I tune out someone yelling, so really I am not there anyways. I can't tell you what you have said to me if you do yell at me. Since I have not been privvy to the various communication methods between MR and ER I will not presume to know from day one what has or has not happened to cause this "communication blockage." Again, all I can say is if this is the way it was, I can understand why it was done.

 

[katydid23]

the most valuable thing she had to tell him was that she didn't know where Dylan is.

I disagree. The most valuable thing was where he might be, who he might have gone to visit, and which friends to contact, imo.

We don't know the date or dates of the blocking action on his phone.

We know that he immediately blocked her CALLS, but not the texting. She has said he never once spoke to her, and he has not denied that.

My understanding is that he texted EH and then went directly to the Marshall's Office

That is the OLD version of the story. He did say that previously. But he told Tricia that he FIRST talked to the marshal, at the station,then he texted Elaine to ask if she had heard from Dylan.

Doesn't that seem backwards?

[ I think you just pinpointed another inconsistency. He DID say in the past that he texted ER from the friends house in B-town, and then he went to report him missing. ]

Let's see, backpack? Or son? Look for the kid and the backpack only became important when Dylan wasn't located by early evening.

I disagree. When MR left that morning, he promised to return at 11 to pick D up and take him to town. So when he returned home to an empty cabin, he should have been a bit concerned. He says NOW, that he assumed that D was out in the immediate area by himself. Wouldn't it have occurred to him to look and
see if D had taken his pack along? Because if he had, then maybe he had gone ahead to Bayfield. If not, then maybe he was just outside playing around.

It makes no sense to me because if he was going to go search for his son, wouldn't he want all the info possible, concerning where he might be heading?
============================================

 

[catswhiskers]

I, fence sitter extraordinaire, would like everyone to consider the following. If you don’t find it a valid possibility in your theories, feel free to read and reject.

******Conjecture alert on*****
Mark and Dylan may have been arguing about Dylan going to see his friends. Mark may have damaged Dylans phone and/or iPod. The next morning, Mark had no intentions of taking Dylan to see his friends and did not really try to wake Dylan up, instead he passively aggressively moved around making “noise”. Then he left. Dylan wakes up, is super PO’d that his dad left without him and takes off down the road or someone happens by and picks him up. Bad things ensue.

Snipped the heck out of your quote for space, and just springboarding from there
Thanks Ghostwheel - I actually thought of this same scenario back in November when Dylan first disappeared. It doesn't paint MR in a good light at all - but despite what many seem to think and claim, there are people like me, on the fence, who aren't here because they have a personal interest in him being innocent, rather there isn't enough real and confirmed information to point in another direction.
My very first reaction was that MR confiscated the phone, and then didn't want to admit to that later. Then a hole was dug that just got deeper and deeper. I still think it's a possibility that this is true, but I would never dream of slamming the man on a public page because of that suspicion.
Not wanting to call anyone out, whether it be MR, any other family members, or even other posters with whom I don't agree, is just the type of presence I prefer on public forums. I can live with being wrong for not accusing someone, but I would be mortified if I spent months trying to stress someone's guilt and that turned out to be totally incorrect.
:fence:

 

[Bayou Mistress]

I have yet to see evidence that he blocked her calls the very first day. Personally I was not there when any communication efforts were made by either to witness what may have caused what to happen. All I can attest to is what I saw on DP, and if that was the way ER tried to communicate with him if and when efforts were made, I cannot fault him for blocking her. I equate yelling and screaming with verbal abuse. It has been something I had to endure the first 18 years of my life and it's not something I would tolerate from any other adult, as I am now an adult I do not have to put up with it. It's okay for a person to set boundaries in regards to things like that, such as, I will talk to you as long as you don't yell at me. I have been enraged at people before but I do not yell at them because it's not how I want to be treated and I know all to well what it feels like. Truthfully after having been yelled at so much in my life, I tune out someone yelling, so really I am not there anyways. I can't tell you what you have said to me if you do yell at me. Since I have not been privvy to the various communication methods between MR and ER I will not presume to know from day one what has or has not happened to cause this "communication blockage." Again, all I can say is if this is the way it was, I can understand why it was done.

I can say that I TRY not to do, but I most certainly HAVE ranted and raved and spoken to another in a way that should not be tolerated. I'm guilty. It doesn't happen often and I have made amends for doing this. Being mad, ranting, blaming are all understandable to me. What I don't understand is the sustaining, the continuation of the same behavior that does not yield the desired result. Of course, my desire was to be understood and then, later to understand.

 

[katydid23]

I know that's how you see it, Katydid. I see it differently. IMO, EH damaged her own reputation on the Dr P show. The show was about drama and blame and not about a missing boy at all. It was such a disappointment.

It may have been about drama and blame, but it was totally about a missing boy, imo. She BLAMES HIM for her son being missing.

What do you expect her to do? How is she supposed to react?

 

[katydid23]

Snipped the heck out of your quote for space, and just springboarding from there
Thanks Ghostwheel - I actually thought of this same scenario back in November when Dylan first disappeared. It doesn't paint MR in a good light at all - but despite what many seem to think and claim, there are people like me, on the fence, who aren't here because they have a personal interest in him being innocent, rather there isn't enough real and confirmed information to point in another direction.
My very first reaction was that MR confiscated the phone, and then didn't want to admit to that later. Then a hole was dug that just got deeper and deeper. I still think it's a possibility that this is true, but I would never dream of slamming the man on a public page because of that suspicion.
Not wanting to call anyone out, whether it be MR, any other family members, or even other posters with whom I don't agree, is just the type of presence I prefer on public forums. I can live with being wrong for not accusing someone, but I would be mortified if I spent months trying to stress someone's guilt and that turned out to be totally incorrect.
:fence:

Here is how I feel about that. If I am wrong, and MR is 'innocent' then I will apologize, but I will not be ashamed or mortified. He has brought on all of this suspicion himself, imo. Drinking Jim Beam instead of taking that poly was hIS CHOICE. And if it is found that he did fight and argue and take the cell, and lied about it, then again, HIS FAULT, not mine, that it makes him look guilty.

HE is the one that refused to speak to Elaine about Dylan going missing. That makes me very suspicious. As do the inconsistencies in his version of events. So I will not be mortified if he is found to be not guilty. Because his behavior is fueling this suspicion. JMO

 

[AnotherSetOfEyes]

Yeah you expect them to be angry, but you can't "talk" to someone while they are angry. Especially if they are behaving belligerently, not saying ER was in fact, but if that was MR's perception of her behavior then can't change that. The only thing you can do, in regards to that, is wait for their anger to calm down enough to where they can be rational. You don't have to wait for it to go away, just come down from a level 10 to a level 7 or something.

You mean wait until ER stops making this ""more than it needs to be." ?

 

[Bayou Mistress]

It may have been about drama and blame, but it was totally about a missing boy, imo. She BLAMES HIM for her son being missing.

What do you expect her to do? How is she supposed to react?

I guess it depends on what she wants.

 

[katydid23]

I can't answer that fairly. I may have learned what not to do from this case. I don't think he would block me calling--he's the glib sort who thinks nothing is his fault, ever. You know the type. People think MR is that type; I don't. My ex would want to be talking his way out of responsibility--he'd be offering up all kinds of details, he'd be making a story out of it.

I can personally attest to the fact that MR IS that type. I just transcribed about half of his last interview with Tricia. That guy speaks in circles and throws in dozens of unnecessary words and details and does it very smoothly. And he has such a soothing, believable tone, that it almost lulls you into believing him. He dances around the questions and says so many extra words, he never gave her a chance to insert the next question, because he went on and on with extraneous words and info.
see below:


T: I think we all understand that…absolutely. Lets talk about the Search Warrants. You realized them yourself, correct? why.. why did u do that?

MR: That's correct….Well, the reason I did that was specifically because they search warrants were issued based on the theory of kidnapping. and you know, again, I'm not trying to be critical of Law Enforcement …and I've never used the word Amber, in ya know in my statement that I put out there, all I'm saying is that , here is the problem that I have, and maybe somebody in your audience can help clarify this, but this is the a question I ask Law Enforcement, what was the fundamental difference between being kidnapped and being abducted, and their answer to me is there was absolutely no difference, so , my next question to them is then if you had enough to get a search warrant based on probable cause then why did you not have enough to issue an Amber Alert, to notify people out there that that we had a missing child..and that is an answer I never got from Law Enforcement, because basically there is criteria, and it has to be met and in their eyes the criteria hadn't been met , that being said if they couldn't meet the criteria for issuing an Amber Alert, based on him being abducted then how did they obtain a search warrant based on probable cause for kidnapping, I mean, to me, the two are the same…one doesn't mean any difference than the other, its just the words that their using, one's abduction, ones kidnapping, …

T: Ya, I see what you're saying, I think they have to have a car description, it doesn't take a lot for a search warrant…

MR: Oh, I know, but I have no problem with that, all they had to do was ask, and got into my house, I'm not trying to hide anything, but the argument that I would make about what your saying is technology is advancing quicker than LaW Enforcement or the laws are changing, to handle situations like this, that being said, you know, I understand that they can get a search warrant based on probable cause, but if it doesn't logically make sense to me, and again, maybe there's something I'm missing… that it just doesn't make sense to me that it'd be easier to obtain a search warrant for a search on a home than it would be to issue an Alert for a child thats gone missing…