CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #52

[packerdog]

And today is Fathers Day. I don't think his boys are going to be visiting their dad bearing gifts today. I think that ship sailed a long time ago.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

And today is Fathers Day. I don't think his boys are going to be visiting their dad bearing gifts today. I think that ship sailed a long time ago.

Wondering how such a statement helps find Dylan?

 

[Bayou Mistress]

An essential aspect of therapy with stepfamilies is sorting out and working through conflicts by proxy, whereby family members take on others' emotional work. Typically, children are enlisted to carry their parents' pain, resentment, and guilt, and women to act upon men's unvoiced issues. Because children's misbehavior or pain are often the symptoms that bring families to therapy, clinicians are more attuned to look to the ways they may be caught up in adult conflicts, recognizing that is essential to relieve children of these emotional burdens by inviting adults to take care of the unfinished business in a past marriage or problems with a current partner.

One thirteen-year-old boy clearly stated that he enjoyed getting his stepmother worked up; it was obviously safer to provoke her than the father who was stricter, more loved, and more feared. Even as adults, stepchildren may focus on the stepparent as the cause of either childhood or continued unhappiness, diverting their gaze from their parent's complicity in this process.

http://www.stepfamilies.info/articles/detangling-conflict-in-stepfamilies.php


It's past time for us to examine, truthfully, the kinds of conflicts Dylan may have been experiencing.

 

[asyousay]

http://www.stepfamilies.info/articles/detangling-conflict-in-stepfamilies.php


It's past time for us to examine, truthfully, the kinds of conflicts Dylan may have been experiencing.

But from all accounts he was not having issues. I have yet to see anything indicating he was not well adjusted .

:cow:

 

[Bayou Mistress]

But from all accounts he was not having issues. I have yet to see anything indicating he was not well adjusted .

:cow:

I can not accept that. Within the four months prior to his disappearance, Dylan was moved from the community and home he had been a part for at least the previous six years. He suddenly had an unrelated man sharing his home. He left behind childhood friendships and his father. I am not saying he was poorly adjusted, just that he had some adjusting to do. To pretend that all that was easy and he sailed through it without some conflicted feelings is to deny that he was a normal 13 year old boy.

The link I posted above shows that a child can often express angry and resentment to the parent whose love he is sure of. A happy-go-lucky peace-keeping child might displace his upset and conflicted feelings to a person where it is safe to do so. We really don't know anything at all about Dylan's relationship and adjustment to living with an unrelated love interest of his mother's.

 

[asyousay]

I can not accept that. Within the four months prior to his disappearance, Dylan was moved from the community and home he had been a part for at least the previous six years. He suddenly had an unrelated man sharing his home. He left behind childhood friendships and his father. I am not saying he was poorly adjusted, just that he had some adjusting to do. To pretend that all that was easy and he sailed through it without some conflicted feelings is to deny that he was a normal 13 year old boy.

It is not like they just moved in together. I am pretty sure there would of been a relationship before and so he was not a stranger to Dylan. And it has been said that Dylan liked his new home and liked the bigger city and he had more social opportunity's being in a bigger city.

Can you show any examples that showed Dylan had not adjusted ?

 

[Bayou Mistress]

It is not like they just moved in together. I am pretty sure there would of been a relationship before and so he was not a stranger to Dylan. And it has been said that Dylan liked his new home and liked the bigger city and he had more social opportunity's being in a bigger city.

Can you show any examples that showed Dylan had not adjusted ?

No, I can't. Because the only person who has spoken about it was Dylan's mother and she is not a reliable source. The teacher and kids that Dylan was getting to know spoke of Dylan "beginning to adjust". That alone says that it was not a seamless transition to a perfect life.

 

[rosesfromangels]

Wondering how such a statement helps find Dylan?

It might inspire someone emotionally, that results in them posting a tidbit that results in a solid lead. It also helps relieve a little steam, if you will, when it comes to the agony of hoping and praying and stretching our brains to figure out where this kid is.

As for me, even though I find it very difficult, I am praying for MR today on Father's Day. I am praying that he will sit down with LE and, to the best of his ability, give them some straight answers to straight questions. It's my opinion, and opinion only of course, that he has not done that to the very best of his ability as of yet.

God Bless the Mom, the brothers, and of course, young Dylan.

 

[mmmagique]

Wondering how such a statement helps find Dylan?

If we could only post statements that help to find someone, this forum would be a very quiet place. (imo)

ETA: It did make me sad though, and I did not "like" the statement because I try to keep my spirit focused on the highest good, and being angry, and having "revenge" (even if it's through inaction) does not work for the highest good.

 

[rosesfromangels]

I can not accept that. Within the four months prior to his disappearance, Dylan was moved from the community and home he had been a part for at least the previous six years. He suddenly had an unrelated man sharing his home. He left behind childhood friendships and his father. I am not saying he was poorly adjusted, just that he had some adjusting to do. To pretend that all that was easy and he sailed through it without some conflicted feelings is to deny that he was a normal 13 year old boy.

The link I posted above shows that a child can often express angry and resentment to the parent whose love he is sure of. A happy-go-lucky peace-keeping child might displace his upset and conflicted feelings to a person where it is safe to do so. We really don't know anything at all about Dylan's relationship and adjustment to living with an unrelated love interest of his mother's.

This is a worthy concept, and it was my very first reaction to this case when I first heard about it. I actually thought Dylan had run away as a response to be played as a pawn in an ugly divorce. After seeing the Dr. Phil show with MR, I changed my mind immediately.

 

[mmmagique]

It might inspire someone emotionally, that results in them posting a tidbit that results in a solid lead. It also helps relieve a little steam, if you will, when it comes to the agony of hoping and praying and stretching our brains to figure out where this kid is.

As for me, even though I find it very difficult, I am praying for MR today on Father's Day. I am praying that he will sit down with LE and, to the best of his ability, give them some straight answers to straight questions. It's my opinion, and opinion only of course, that he has not done that to the very best of his ability as of yet.

God Bless the Mom, the brothers, and of course, young Dylan.

I will join you in your prayers. I don't think anger and the pursuit of vengeance begets the answers we seek. I have been focusing on the concept of forgiveness and it's a pretty huge mountain to climb. (it's hard to get there from here)

It's possible that people who are surrounded by prayers, love and mercy are more likely to come forward for healing and forgiveness. Let that be the case, and let love win in the end.

 

[asyousay]

From all we have seen (and that is not a lot) but Mike seems like he would of been a very caring step father for Dylan and from the pictures i have seen from the searches he always seems like a tower of strength for Elaine . And from the images i have seen he has certainty been on a lot more searches than MR which shows a level of commitment for his soon to be step son!!

:cow: :cow:

I just wanted to put this out this

 

[Bayou Mistress]

From all we have seen (and that is not a lot) but Mike seems like he would of been a very caring step father for Dylan and from the pictures i have seen from the searches he always seems like a tower of strength for Elaine . And from the images i have seen he has certainty been on a lot more searches than MR which shows a level of commitment for his soon to be step son!!

:cow: :cow:

I just wanted to put this out this

The new man is Dylan's life was not new to Dylan's mother. His devotion to her is clear. <modsnip>.

 

[aust amateur slueth]

From all we have seen (and that is not a lot) but Mike seems like he would of been a very caring step father for Dylan and from the pictures i have seen from the searches he always seems like a tower of strength for Elaine . And from the images i have seen he has certainty been on a lot more searches than MR which shows a level of commitment for his soon to be step son!!

:cow: :cow:

I just wanted to put this out this

I think MH would be a positive influence on Dylan and CR.

We have also heard of a positive differencce in Dylans attitude towards School once he moved to Colorado Springs. I wonder if that positive change could have been that he was more relaxed once he moved.

 

[asyousay]

By the sounds of it the move was a positive for all involved and its a shame on his return to the town he was brought up in something tragic has happened :cow:

 

[Salem]

Please do not go down the road of trying to involve other family members here. It is true that MR has been analyzed under a very fine lamp - but there was a reason for that. It was obvious that LE had MR in their headlights.

LE has given NO indication that they suspect anyone else at this point. That means everyone else is off the table and are to be treated as victims of this very confusing situation. LE has also given no indication that MR is going to be arrested. This is a few steps back from LE's position around month 2.

Unfortunately, we are now playing a waiting game. Searches have come up empty and LE does not appear to have evidence to arrest anyone. LE says SO's have been checked out, whatever that means. Our options are limited here. We have to wait for new searches and movement by LE before this case moves forward. Waiting can be tedious - but it is no excuse for bickering and fighting or trying to involve others in the situation.

LE calls it a criminal investigation, so it would seem that they have enough evidence to determine a crime happened. LE just has not given any indication as to what kind of crime, or if they still believe it was MR that committed the crime.

What does the evidence collected in the search warrants tell us? There are clues there, I think.

Salem

 

[asyousay]

Please do not go down the road of trying to involve other family members here. It is true that MR has been analyzed under a very fine lamp - but there was a reason for that. It was obvious that LE had MR in their headlights.

LE has given NO indication that they suspect anyone else at this point. That means everyone else is off the table and are to be treated as victims of this very confusing situation. LE has also given no indication that MR is going to be arrested. This is a few steps back from LE's position around month 2.

Unfortunately, we are now playing a waiting game. Searches have come up empty and LE does not appear to have evidence to arrest anyone. LE says SO's have been checked out, whatever that means. Our options are limited here. We have to wait for new searches and movement by LE before this case moves forward. Waiting can be tedious - but it is no excuse for bickering and fighting or trying to involve others in the situation.

LE calls it a criminal investigation, so it would seem that they have enough evidence to determine a crime happened. LE just has not given any indication as to what kind of crime, or if they still believe it was MR that committed the crime.

What does the evidence collected in the search warrants tell us? There are clues there, I think.

Salem

I cant remember if i read them so i will have to go and look. Can you reveal what you think the clues are?

 

[katydid23]

I think there were some recent clues indicating that LE is still looking at MR with some suspicion. They reportedly attended the mediation between ER and MR, and even offered ER some information, upon which she based some of her questions to Mark. Tht is very revealing, imo. JMO :moo:

 

[asyousay]

I think there were some recent clues indicating that LE is still looking at MR with some suspicion. They reportedly attended the mediation between ER and MR, and even offered ER some information, upon which she based some of her questions to Mark. Tht is very revealing, imo. JMO :moo:

Also did Mark not indicate he was at the "top of the list" in last Sundays radio interview.

Some posters do not agree with this but i don't think Mark meant "Shopping" list for example IMO

That was my interpretation of what he meant when he said list. And to me that makes logical sense as until proven otherwise nobody else was with Dylan when he vanished! :moo:

 

[AnotherSetOfEyes]

I cant remember if i read them so i will have to go and look. Can you reveal what you think the clues are?

I'm right there with you. Back I go to look at those documents!