Tiki
Active Member
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2009
- Messages
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God Bless you Tiki. The death of a child is the worst to recover from, if one ever does. My mother, now deceased almost 1 1/2 yrs, buried 3 sons in her lifetime. One at the tender age of 5 who died from a head injury from falling off a bike, the second at the age of 26 from suicide, and the last at age 46 from another suicide which also involved him killing his wife (tangled love affair). I don't know how my mother, who lived to be 84 yrs old carried each of those heartaches everyday. I'm sure she got her will to carry on because of her faith and the children she still had yet to raise (me and my sister). I remember her having many sad and depressing days in my life. Her health wasn't that great either.
As I got older (teens), and not wanting to upset her with saddness, I got the courage to ask her how she got through all the heartache. She wasn't much for words (still too painful for her to talk about years later) and not a religious person, but she managed to say "I trust in the Lord. He will see me through". I accepted her response and just moved on. She died painlessly in her sleep (coma) on September 2, 2007 while holding my hand. It was at that moment, and leading up to her death (several years of alzheimers) that I realized the gravity of her statement, "Trust in the Lord, He will see you through". Yes, He did indeed. HE blessed her with no memories of the heartaches (alzheimers) and a peaceful death. As a witness to her life and to her pain, and finally her death, I now know that there are forces at work, for our good, that give us whatever it is that we need at time to get through. I silently look for it each and every day, as I'm sure you do too, because I long for her presence. I miss her. I just plain and simply miss her. One day at a time, my friend. One day at a time.
Thank you.
Your mother must have been a strong and courageous woman and you are, too.
Yes, one day at a time - or one minute at a time.
My mother suffers from my son's death as well.
She has 15 other grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren. She kept a journal her entire adult life. She put it down on the day my son died and says she can no longer write her thoughts. We lost my father 8 months later. Fortunately she has my sisters to help her - she'll be 85 this year.
I ask for nothing but serenity and the strength to get out of bed in the morning - two kitties help with that. Next year I'm planning to move from NY state to San Francisco to be near my other son - he's all I have. If I'm lucky, I'll be blessed with a grandchild of my own.
I wish you the peace and solace that you seek.
I used to read this to my son. I smile when I read it now and think of him this way:
"In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night... " ~ The Little Prince
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