I once helped a friend adopt a dog who turned out to be way too spastic for her (she was part border collie!). However another friend said she was interested... and the dog went to her home for a try-out. There was another dog in the home she immediately became best friends with, and friend #2 said when she got home from a long day at work, the dog's high energy level was entertaining and refreshing. Long story short, it was a match made in heaven and the lady has her to this day.
But way back when, the original volunteer asked how friend #1 was doing with the dog,, and at first we both felt uncomfortable to tell her (I can't remember if friend #1 signed an agreement the same as Ellen's.. it may have just been a verbal agreement).... but we both avoided telling the volunteer because we knew it could be a big issue (you could just feel the vibes). However we knew the new home was fine. The volunteer kept asking (she must have sensed it) and we finally told her,, and said- 'Look,, we know it against your rules,, and we can understand why.. but believe us.. the situation she's in now is a far better match. Trust us.' & we told her they have a fence, she gets really good care, they love her, etc. And the volunteer said 'well, that's not how we do things... you really should have told us, but OK, if you say so." And that was the end of that!
After all, we are helping them find good homes, which is what they are tyring to do in the first place. You'd think they'd be glad to have the help!
However I can see the other side too (in a way)... I personally rescued a puppy from the pound and fostered her thru a rescue group, and helped train her & socialize her, took her to the adoption days myself.. and helped a new family adopt her, showed them some training tips, etc... and then the group leader e-mailed the family a couple weeks later and asked how things were going.. no answer. I then e-mailed them myself, I said just let us know, if there's a problem, I'll be happy to take her back.,, no problem. I even said if you found a better home that's fine, I just wanted to know. NO answer.. nothing. So... they may have felt they were in the same awkward position.. the difference is.. we were just asking... and there was no communication at all. I only wanted to know she wasn't going back to the pound, since I was the one who found her in the first place, and invested so much into her care. I don't think the group leader said anythng to offend these people, because she was one of the sane ones.. so I don't know what happened. Just a quick word that all was OK would have been nice.
But.. ya know what.. worse things have happened,, and there's bigger fish to fry.