Sorry so many quotes responded to, and I apologize if I'm not supposed to do it this way. I've been reading forever and joined just recently.
Some quotes snipped by me for space
I'm sorry, but if your a parent who wants to see your child, you do everything in your power to do that, uncomfortable or not. If JI was doing something to bar her from seeing her kid, all she had to do is hire a lawyer (like she has now) to enforce the custody agreement about supervised visits.
If the court orders you can see your kids and the ex is preventing you from doing that, you go to court since the ex is in violation of the court agreement.
She's passionate enough to get a lawyer now because she wants to reconnect with her son but yet she never fought trying to see her son for 6 years prior, because big and bad JI was preventing her from doing so, which would be in violation of a court order? That doesn't make sense.
I'm glad you never had to experience any kind of bs with a divorce like I have. I was in an abusive relationship, and he was abusive to my children, too. He is the natural father. I took my kids and left with their toys and our clothes. Do you even realize how expensive an attorney can be? In a ten year period fighting with him and trying to protect my children from his abusive ways I spent over $60,000 and that is no exaggeration. I was working to pay the attorney. Period. Thankful he did a lot of free work, too. Not everyone can afford this. Attorneys are very expensive. Maybe JI had someone in his family backing him like my ex did. So many games played and bs endured for all of us. I could tell you horror stories. He rarely paid his child support either and on that rare day he did he paid what he thought he should pay...much lower than any court would order.
If for some reason I had lost custody of my kids, there is nothing my
ex could do to stop me from trying to see them and eventually get them back. That's what a mother freaking does. I would never assume, "oh they're in a better place, so I'll bow out". They're my kids, I love them, I'm going to see them no matter how uncomfortable someone else tries to make me feel.
I'll agree somewhat. I don't understand it fully either but I've helped a lot of people, women and men, and there is so much pain sometimes on a child that the parent thinks they are doing right by walking away.
Then you keep taking his
back to court. Over and over and over again.
It's not like she had a kid to take care of or was paying child support. Work two jobs, save your money, get your kid back or at least get reasonable visitation.
Some people cannot afford to pay an attorney this way all the time no less. Where I'm at attorneys are $110-$150 an hour and many people around here probably don't make more than $10 an hour. There are some kind attorneys that will offer to do it pro bono but they can only do so many.
I don't think DB is absolved of anything. If she really did get drunk that night, it was wrong and yes, neglectful. But this isn't about DB. DB is not even a party in this action. This is about someone who hasn't seen her child in 6 years and now all of a sudden feels the need to 'get involved'.
This is about DB to me. DB is who JI has chosen at this time to bring into his son's life to help watch over him. When JI is at work, like the very night Baby Lisa disappeared, then we find out she was drunk (her own words), while she was in charge of three young children, and yes...it is about her. What else has happened that we don't know about because at that time a child didn't come up missing? It does worry me that she has been left in charge of the decision making while alone with these children. His, hers and theirs. Like it or not she is and has been for the last two years one of this child's role models.
That's what I don't understand about the explanation that it could be that JI somehow prevented her from seeing her child. Even if you truly believe that, that still is no excuse as to not having any contact for 6 years. I've never seen or heard of any mother (or father for that matter) simply ignore the child even exists because the ex is being a pain in the butt for visitation. Not if the mother really wants to be a part of that child's life. It wasn't even a small period of time, it's 6 years. That's a long time.
I'm curious to think what the reaction to this story would be if it was the other way around, meaning if it was a father doing this emergency custody order instead of a mother, but with the same circumstances (no contact for 6 years). I'm pretty positive the first question that comes up would be 'is he paying child support'? (mothers can pay child support too).
I agree there should have been some contact. Phone calls, letters, cards, whatever, but the fact remains that I don't know there wasn't. How many times have you heard about the calls being made only to be not answered when that dreaded # shows up on caller ID? How many times have there been letters or cards that wasn't given? I'm not saying RR made the calls or sent the letters and cards, I'm saying what if she did and JI and/or DB didn't pass them on? You're right. Six years is a long time but we really don't know what happened in those six years. I would love to know and form a better opinion.
As for what if it were the dad in RR's shoes? I'd feel exactly the same. It's a parent...and it doesn't matter to me mom or dad, but why.
MOO
