Emergency custody papers filed by mother of JI's son 11/14/11

[Deleted member 39678]

BBM
I am basing my opinions, yes, on that one night with DB and Baby Lisa's disappearance. She, unlike RR, was left in charge of three children and yet admits to her drinking and state of mind, along with not checking on these children! To me that is equally if not worse than what we know RR has done! I find it very suspect that JI doesn't think RR is good enough for his son, but then in comes DB and has a child with him, does this and he thinks she's okay? Really??? If what he did with his son's mother wasn't out of spite and hate, then tell my why he thinks someone like DB is good enough to parent. His judgement is OFF!

MOO

BBM

Maybe RR did something worse than Debbie. Maybe JI has no problem with RR visiting their son.

 

[cityslick]

BBM
I am basing my opinions, yes, on that one night with DB and Baby Lisa's disappearance. She, unlike RR, was left in charge of three children and yet admits to her drinking and state of mind, along with not checking on these children! To me that is equally if not worse than what we know RR has done! I find it very suspect that JI doesn't think RR is good enough for his son, but then in comes DB and has a child with him, does this and he thinks she's okay? Really??? If what he did with his son's mother wasn't out of spite and hate, then tell my why he thinks someone like DB is good enough to parent his child. His judgement is OFF!

MOO

How exactly do you know that JI thinks this? How do you know what JI thinks about anything? I don't know if the stuff about child support is true, but if that was true and my ex wasn't paying me child support, why should I allow them the privilege of seeing their child when they won't even support them?

What Debra Bradley did that night is a seperate issue from a non-custodial parent filing a court order for 'custody' when she hasn't seen the kid in 6 years. I'm not saying one is worse than the other, but they are two seperate issues. How exactly did JI know DB would do that this night in question, assuming he's innocent? If there is no track record of it, how would he know DB would allow herself to get intoxicated that night?

 

[menmo]

How exactly do you know that JI thinks this? How do you know what JI thinks about anything? I don't know if the stuff about child support is true, but if that was true and my ex wasn't paying me child support, why should I allow them the privilege of seeing their child when they won't even support them?

What Debra Bradley did that night is a seperate issue from a non-custodial parent filing a court order for 'custody' when she hasn't seen the kid in 6 years. I'm not saying one is worse than the other, but they are two seperate issues. How exactly did JI know DB would do that this night in question, assuming he's innocent? If there is no track record of it, how would he know DB would allow herself to get intoxicated that night?

I don't know it, true, any more than anyone else knows that RR didn't want and try to see her son, or that she hasn't paid child support.

I don't know where you're from but in the part of MO that I'm from any Judge will tell you that not paying child support has no bearing on that other parents right to see their child and participate in their life.

We're comparing DB to RR as a parent so to me it is not a separate issue at all. One parent appears no better than the other EXCEPT that we know DB was drinking the night she was left in charge of three children. If someone were doing that when left in charge of my children I would demand to press charges against them, especially when my sick little child came up missing!
I'll bet you dollars to donuts that there is a past history of DB not being mature acting and taking good care of these kids before, putting herself before their needs. Then upon finding out what DB was doing, along with her stating the last time she checked on their daughter was 6:40 p.m. on the night she suspiciously comes up missing and he stands by her side. HELLO! He's either extremely desperate or he's off! Maybe both!

MOO

 

[Elley Mae]

How exactly do you know that JI thinks this? How do you know what JI thinks about anything? I don't know if the stuff about child support is true, but if that was true and my ex wasn't paying me child support, why should I allow them the privilege of seeing their child when they won't even support them?

What Debra Bradley did that night is a seperate issue from a non-custodial parent filing a court order for 'custody' when she hasn't seen the kid in 6 years. I'm not saying one is worse than the other, but they are two seperate issues. How exactly did JI know DB would do that this night in question, assuming he's innocent? If there is no track record of it, how would he know DB would allow herself to get intoxicated that night?

After seeing pics of the basement part of the home with the "bar" I don't think jeremy was a stranger to deborah drinking, Possibly he thinks she should slow down.

 

[Minette]

Well, we have a bar in our basement, too, and yet neither one of us is an alcoholic.

 

[Whisperer]

Frankly I can't imagine anyone on this site who had a child and the father's GF got smashed and lost her baby would let their child stay under her care. That is the basis of her filing. Regardless of what happened, short of her beating this boy, I see no reason for her not to at least ask. It won't happen. I have never seen a court take away custody unless the custodial parent goes to jail, mames or kills the child.....or is loaded with money.

All this arguing is moot. She's not going to get custody. But I don't blame her for trying to get it. I bet people would complain if she didn't attempt it. It is good to have on record that she tried.

 

[Elley Mae]

Well, we have a bar in our basement, too, and yet neither one of us is an alcoholic.

My point was that I am sure that in their 2 yrs of cohabiting that he is aware of her drinking and has pobably seen her intoxicated.
I never thought of her as an alcoholic, just a drunk

 

[Deleted member 39678]

I don't know it, true, any more than anyone else knows that RR didn't want and try to see her son, or that she hasn't paid child support.

I don't know where you're from but in the part of MO that I'm from any Judge will tell you that not paying child support has no bearing on that other parents right to see their child and participate in their life.

We're comparing DB to RR as a parent so to me it is not a separate issue at all. One parent appears no better than the other EXCEPT that we know DB was drinking the night she was left in charge of three children. If someone were doing that when left in charge of my children I would demand to press charges against them, especially when my sick little child came up missing!
I'll bet you dollars to donuts that there is a past history of DB not being mature acting and taking good care of these kids before, putting herself before their needs. Then upon finding out what DB was doing, along with her stating the last time she checked on their daughter was 6:40 p.m. on the night she suspiciously comes up missing and he stands by her side. HELLO! He's either extremely desperate or he's off! Maybe both!

MOO

BBM
If your comparing these mothers as to their parenting, what rating would you give RR and what would you base this rating on?

 

[menmo]

Frankly I can't imagine anyone on this site who had a child and the father's GF got smashed and lost her baby would let their child stay under her care. That is the basis of her filing. Regardless of what happened, short of her beating this boy, I see no reason for her not to at least ask. It won't happen. I have never seen a court take away custody unless the custodial parent goes to jail, mames or kills the child.....or is loaded with money.

All this arguing is moot. She's not going to get custody. But I don't blame her for trying to get it. I bet people would complain if she didn't attempt it. It is good to have on record that she tried.

BBM
If your comparing these mothers as to their parenting, what rating would you give RR and what would you base this rating on?

BBM
I have seen custody change without those reasons. It happens. Sometimes I agree. Sometimes I don't.

I cannot give RR a rating because I don't know enough about her. I can however give DB a rating and it's POOR based on that night alone where Baby Lisa came up missing, and then her not speaking to LE because she fears for herself, not her child.

Do I think that RR is deserving of having her child custody changed to her? I don't know. I just want, for their child's own sake, for all known issues to be heard by a Judge and then each parent be forced to follow through in the best interest of the child! He deserves nothing less. The adults make their own choices and when they suffer for it then so be it. It was their own choice. Often times the child never gets really heard and I don't like that at all. I'd like for this child to have a GAL, and I think I've read here that he does, and for him to be heard with regards to what he wants, without either parent knowing what he wants. Then based on living standards of care along with many other things that the Judge base his decision on that.
This little person matters to me. If it comes up that RR is a terrible influence and example for her son, then by all means I'll admit it. Until then, and based on my own knowledge of how some exes are treated I'll go with hoping that JI was ruthless and now she has a chance to be in her sons' life.
I'm always on the child's side!
MOO

 

[Minette]

My point was that I am sure that in their 2 yrs of cohabiting that he is aware of her drinking and has pobably seen her intoxicated.
I never thought of her as an alcoholic, just a drunk

I guess I would use the terms 'drunk' and 'alcoholic' interchangeably. My point was that you can have a bar in your home and yet not drink to excess, so I don't see that the family having a bar necessarily means anything than that they have a bar. Plus, remember, it is JI's home, and has been for 10 years or so.

 

[Jacie Estes]

I don't know it, true, any more than anyone else knows that RR didn't want and try to see her son, or that she hasn't paid child support.

I don't know where you're from but in the part of MO that I'm from any Judge will tell you that not paying child support has no bearing on that other parents right to see their child and participate in their life.

We're comparing DB to RR as a parent so to me it is not a separate issue at all. One parent appears no better than the other EXCEPT that we know DB was drinking the night she was left in charge of three children. If someone were doing that when left in charge of my children I would demand to press charges against them, especially when my sick little child came up missing!
I'll bet you dollars to donuts that there is a past history of DB not being mature acting and taking good care of these kids before, putting herself before their needs. Then upon finding out what DB was doing, along with her stating the last time she checked on their daughter was 6:40 p.m. on the night she suspiciously comes up missing and he stands by her side. HELLO! He's either extremely desperate or he's off! Maybe both!

MOO

Speaking hypothetically, because we are not sleuthing RR in this forum, she is the one who has a court action against her that requires supervised visits with her son. This means that someone is present for the well being of the child. They don't pass out orders of supervised visits like bowls of chips at a party. There is a reason for this. Conversely, Debbie Bradley has no such orders against her or charges of child neglect.

When LE went to the house in response ot the 911 call, DB was not 'drunk' enough to be given a PBT or a BAC test. She was not arrested for or charged with child neglect and has not been in the past. Lisa, by all evidence was a well loved and well cared for child, not neglected.

This semantic of the word 'drunk' is just that. One person's drunk is not anothers. Debbie was being honest when she used that phrase, she was not hiding anything. Perhaps Jeremy knows what a good mother Debbie is and that is why he is standing with her. Crimes do happen, people do break into houses and children are kidnapped. This website is testament to that.

The court, in the past, has decided that RR is not to have custody and Jeremy is. That is a fact.

 

[Jacie Estes]

Well, we have a bar in our basement, too, and yet neither one of us is an alcoholic.

Exactly, when I was out today, I bought a half g of Capt. Morgan, a bottle of Bacardi Limon and a bottle of Skky Vodka, some Tia Maria mix and margarhita mix because we will be having a New Years Eve party. I'm not an alcoholic, I actually prefer not drinking much. To make an assumption because of a bar in a house is baseless.

 

[Karmaa]

BBM
I am basing my opinions, yes, on that one night with DB and Baby Lisa's disappearance. She, unlike RR, was left in charge of three children and yet admits to her drinking and state of mind, along with not checking on these children! To me that is equally if not worse than what we know RR has done! I find it very suspect that JI doesn't think RR is good enough for his son, but then in comes DB and has a child with him, does this and he thinks she's okay? Really??? If what he did with his son's mother wasn't out of spite and hate, then tell me why he thinks someone like DB is good enough to parent his child. His judgement is OFF!

MOO

Debbie has NEVER said that she didn't check her children. She definitely checked on the boys according to her stories. She does not REMEMBER checking on Lisa specifically. She had a baby monitor going on a sleeping baby - that is NOT neglect. She drank - possibly more than she should have. That may or may not be neglect.

There are WAY too many conclusions being jumped to. We have no idea what Jeremy did, thinks, feels or anything else. We have no idea what his opinion of RR is or why. It's not really fair to project emotions and actions on someone when there is NO BASIS for it.

 

[Elley Mae]

It wasn't so much the "bar" it was them that was in the pics and the way they were in the pics. Jeremy I would beat has seen deborah a bit tipsy is all I am saying.

 

[highflyer]

No a home bar is certainly not any indication of alcoholism. It would be interesting to know what Jeremy's drinking habits are, if any. Don't believe that has been addressed.

 

[Karmaa]

It wasn't so much the "bar" it was them that was in the pics and the way they were in the pics. Jeremy I would beat has seen deborah a bit tipsy is all I am saying.

I am not sure what the point is. I would guess that most husbands have seen their wives tipsy (and probably worse) if they drink at all. :waitasec:

 

[menmo]

After seeing pics of the basement part of the home with the "bar" I don't think jeremy was a stranger to deborah drinking, Possibly he thinks she should slow down.

Just bringing this forward because no where did I read in this post that Elley Mae said anything about DB being an alcoholic.

 

[jjenny]

Debbie has NEVER said that she didn't check her children. She definitely checked on the boys according to her stories. She does not REMEMBER checking on Lisa specifically. She had a baby monitor going on a sleeping baby - that is NOT neglect. She drank - possibly more than she should have. That may or may not be neglect.

There are WAY too many conclusions being jumped to. We have no idea what Jeremy did, thinks, feels or anything else. We have no idea what his opinion of RR is or why. It's not really fair to project emotions and actions on someone when there is NO BASIS for it.

Who is more important to check on? Older boys or sick baby? The baby can't take care of herself.

 

[hambirg]

Her status would not be dependent on her parent's (or any other family members) status. She could get a 90-day visa based on engagement to a US citizen, however they would have to get married within the 90 days, and she would have to apply for resident status based on the marriage. She would then have to remain married for 2 years (after receiving the status) in order to make it unconditional. If she failed ANY of these things, she would be illegal.

If she overstayed any visa without legally obtaining (or at least requesting) permanent resident status, then she would be illegal. If deported for ANY reason, she would have to wait a minimum of 10 years to even APPLY to re-enter the US. And HLS takes that seriously!

This isn't true. While that is usually the case, if someone has been here illegally for more than 1yr and they have committed a crime here. But there are exceptions where they can re-apply after 5 yrs.

I've been reading more than I ever care to about the topic and most of it reads like Chinese, but if she had an attorney and was being held by ICE, she could have been granted a voluntary deportation (some paperwork and she pays her own way home). Depending on who is handling her case, she could re-apply anywhere from 1-3 years.

I think it's all kind of moot anyway. People are going to believe what they want. In the end, I hope the court did what was ever in the best interest of the child. Unfortunately, like in Sky's case, they sometimes get it wrong.

 

[tlcya]

If all was on the up & up with JI, as it pertains to visitation and child support, then there ought to be further court dates in reference to RR violating a court order to pay child support. There has been no posting that shows any further court hearings RE: Custody & Child Support. If there are links to any such court hearings after 2008, a link would be appreciated.

The fact that JI opted not to be dragging his ex into court every month over not paying child support does not indicate to me that all is not "on the up and up" with JI. I know many parents whose spouses are not paying child support. My SIL for one, has spent thousands of dollars having her attorney drag her ex into court for the last four years. She still hasn't got a dime, he gets thrown in the hoosgow every now and then, pays minimal bail, the court forwards the bail onto her (usually about a $150). The man owes her upwards of $30,000.00 at this point. She debates all the time as to whether she should just give up. She can and does support the children on what she makes.

Perhaps JI figured it wasn't worth the time, headache or effort to chase the child's mother for child support. Perhaps he figured you cannot get blood from a stone. Perhaps he decided he was just happy to be shut of her and whatever her issues may or may not be.

I don't pretend to know why JI did not pursue his awarded child support through the court. I don't find it suspect behavior though.