Emergency custody papers filed by mother of JI's son 11/14/11

[hambirg]

She started drinking her 10 glasses of wine pretty darn early. And the boys were never safely tucked into bed. They were still awake at 10:30 on a school night when she came inside, DRUNK, and did whatever happened next. But she
did not bathe them, do their homework with them, tell them a story and put them to bed at a reasonable hour. She stumbled inside drunk at 10:30, forgot to lock the front door or close the window, forgot to check on her sick baby, and passed out, until she was woken up to find her baby was gone.

Yep, when you put it all together it sure does sound crappy. But that is all pretty much straight from DB herself. Sad.

 

[Sparklin]

A blackout drunken caregiver is as safe as any of "our" children are. Who is "our"?

Who was blackout drunk? Our is exactly as it says..everyone. Every child that goes to bed or is put in their room for the night while parents watch tv, play on the computer or sit out front drinking with a friend. No one knows or can say that Deb wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of her children if they cried out and needed her.

 

[katydid23]

Who was blackout drunk? Our is exactly as it says..everyone. Every child that goes to bed or is put in their room for the night while parents watch tv, play on the computer or sit out front drinking with a friend. No one knows or can say that Deb wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of her children if they cried out and needed her.

I disagree. She went to bed with the window open and the front door unlocked. She never checked on her sick child, or at least she does not think so because she couldn't remember much because she was too drunk. So imo, she was NOT capable of taking care of her children.

 

[Sparklin]

She started drinking her 10 glasses of wine pretty darn early. And the boys were never safely tucked into bed. They were still awake at 10:30 on a school night when she came inside, DRUNK, and did whatever happened next. But she
did not bathe them, do their homework with them, tell them a story and put them to bed at a reasonable hour. She stumbled inside drunk at 10:30, forgot to lock the front door or close the window, forgot to check on her sick baby, and passed out, until she was woken up to find her baby was gone.

bbm1= hard to FORCE children to sleep even if they are in bed.

bbm2= bring her boys into bed with her and possibly check on (listen for) Lisa?

bbm3= we don't know what she did before settling them in their room for a movie. Their homework wasn't done? I never heard that. And my sister in law baths her girls in the morning - so even if we don't know they were bathed, doesn't mean they needed to be. And they had a movie as opposed to a book that night apparently, not a hardship for them I'm sure.

I don't drink and I forget to lock my door a couple times a month at least. It was a warm night and per IDM a lot of people had windows open that night. And I believe she said she wasn't positive that she checked on her daughter.

I wish everyone was as perfect as some of the parents here!

 

[Sparklin]

I disagree. She went to bed with the window open and the front door unlocked. She never checked on her sick child, or at least she does not think so because she couldn't remember much because she was too drunk. So imo, she was NOT capable of taking care of her children.

And in my opinion it's just as possible she was very capable.

 

[Deleted member 39678]

I think I may be lost. Is this the emergency custody papers filed by Rasleen Raim thread? This thread began over 3 weeks ago. What happened with the emergency?

 

[hambirg]

Who was blackout drunk? Our is exactly as it says..everyone. Every child that goes to bed or is put in their room for the night while parents watch tv, play on the computer or sit out front drinking with a friend. No one knows or can say that Deb wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of her children if they cried out and needed her.

But the real issue is that DB hadn't put the boys to bed before that. There is no mention of SB retrieving her daughter and putting her to bed. The story, as we know it, is that the boys and the neighbor's daughter were in the boys' room watching movies. According to DB, SB and SB#2 all the adults were on the stoop and didn't check on the kids. So at 10:30 did DB(who was admittedly drunk) and SB go in the house? Did SB retrieve her daughter then? Then what? Did the 4yr old play outside while her mom talked to SB#2 until 11:30? Something doesn't seem right. I think both DB and SB were in and out of the house all night. I think they checked on the kids, including Lisa. But now for some unknown reason nobody wants to own up to that.

MOO!!!!

 

[highflyer]

Who was blackout drunk? Our is exactly as it says..everyone. Every child that goes to bed or is put in their room for the night while parents watch tv, play on the computer or sit out front drinking with a friend. No one knows or can say that Deb wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of her children if they cried out and needed her.

This video may jog your memory a bit. While you have your own experiences and those whose lives have touched yours, it is impossible for a person to speak to the word "everyone" in any context. Let's try to keep our feet on the ground and talk of what we each do know.

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1222252137001

 

[deoneta]

Who was blackout drunk? Our is exactly as it says..everyone. Every child that goes to bed or is put in their room for the night while parents watch tv, play on the computer or sit out front drinking with a friend. No one knows or can say that Deb wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of her children if they cried out and needed her.

DB says she was drunk, not remembering stuff like everybody does when they're drunk. She also says the baby monitor was on yet she heard nothing. All we have to go on unfortunately is what DB says herself. All MOO.

 

[katydid23]

bbm1= hard to FORCE children to sleep even if they are in bed.

bbm2= bring her boys into bed with her and possibly check on (listen for) Lisa?

bbm3= we don't know what she did before settling them in their room for a movie. Their homework wasn't done? I never heard that. And my sister in law baths her girls in the morning - so even if we don't know they were bathed, doesn't mean they needed to be. And they had a movie as opposed to a book that night apparently, not a hardship for them I'm sure.

I don't drink and I forget to lock my door a couple times a month at least. It was a warm night and per IDM a lot of people had windows open that night. And I believe she said she wasn't positive that she checked on her daughter.

I wish everyone was as perfect as some of the parents here!

I am far from a perfect parent. But getting smashed while you are the sole parent in charge of three young kids is wrong, imo. What id there is an emergency?

Nobody said she needed to force them to sleep. But obviously with the 4 yr old playing in their room with them, nobody was going to go to sleep any time soon. And I think kids that young need to get sleep if they are going to get up for school. Especially if they still need to shower or bathe the next morning.

And we do know some of the things that happened before they began watching their film. Mom went to the grocery store for the wine at about 4:40, and then came home and made them macaroni for their 5:30 dinner. Then she put the baby down for bed at 6:40, and went outside with her friend to sit on the stoop until 10:30 pm. So they did not have much mom time that night, imo. Neither did the sick baby.

So if you don't drink, then if your door is unlocked and your window is open, then I am going to assume that you would be sober enough to hear if an intruder came inside, turned on all of the lights and stole your child. Since she was drunk, she did not notice. imoo

 

[Truthwillsetufree]

As safe as any of our children are when they are put to bed. What more was there to do? We can't install alarms on our children unfortunately.

No, but one can stay sober when alone with children and lock the doors, have an alarm system installed, pay the cell phone bill so you can call 911, there are a lot of things folks can do to safeguard their children.

 

[Deleted member 39678]

Does anyone have any ideas why RR hasn't visited her son in all these years? Maybe she had physical problems such as an illness or a job that took her out of state. Or perhaps she just walked away. Maybe she had a valid reason to walk away. Any thoughts on why she missed all those years with her son.

 

[MissJames]

Does anyone have any ideas why RR hasn't visited her son in all these years? Maybe she had physical problems such as an illness or a job that took her out of state. Or perhaps she just walked away. Maybe she had a valid reason to walk away. Any thoughts on why she missed all those years with her son.

Wow, the possibilities are endless .
Maybe she was addicted to drugs and alcohol and is only recently sober.
She might have been without an income or housing and couldn't provide for her son. Do we know where she has been living? Maybe she had to move in with relatives ,too far away to visit and without funds to travel.
Maybe she didn't want to be a mom ,but she's concerned about her son's safety and feels she needs to step up.

It's so hard for me to imagine being in that situation ,so I just can't relate.As with everything in this case, we just don't have information.

Just to add a reply to a post from yesterday, it's not unreasonable to believe the mother is more likely to be involved ,which is common, than to believe this was a very rare infant kidnapping and even more rare rape of an infant.
Does it happen? yes. Which is more likely ,especially considering the odd behavior of the parents? I know what I believe and I don't consider it unreasonable in the least .JMO

 

[katydid23]

Does anyone have any ideas why RR hasn't visited her son in all these years? Maybe she had physical problems such as an illness or a job that took her out of state. Or perhaps she just walked away. Maybe she had a valid reason to walk away. Any thoughts on why she missed all those years with her son.

I keep going back to the quote from a family member that JI was 'brutal' when he fought her for custody. That made me wonder if he had something to blackmail her with, or scare her with, so she just decided to give up and leave.

 

[Whisperer]

She started drinking her 10 glasses of wine pretty darn early. And the boys were never safely tucked into bed. They were still awake at 10:30 on a school night when she came inside, DRUNK, and did whatever happened next. But she
did not bathe them, do their homework with them, tell them a story and put them to bed at a reasonable hour. She stumbled inside drunk at 10:30, forgot to lock the front door or close the window, forgot to check on her sick baby, and passed out, until she was woken up to find her baby was gone.

Wow! That sure sums it up. When you combine this with the one night that a stranger breaks in and steals her baby..well..what are the odds? A massive reward, 1500 tips and not one lead.

 

[Whisperer]

I keep going back to the quote from a family member that JI was 'brutal' when he fought her for custody. That made me wonder if he had something to blackmail her with, or scare her with, so she just decided to give up and leave.

Maybe deportation?

 

[Deleted member 39678]

I keep going back to the quote from a family member that JI was 'brutal' when he fought her for custody. That made me wonder if he had something to blackmail her with, or scare her with, so she just decided to give up and leave.

You may be right. A 'brutal' fight may also mean that JI fought very hard to protect his son from a threat of harm from RR.

 

[deoneta]

Does anyone have any ideas why RR hasn't visited her son in all these years? Maybe she had physical problems such as an illness or a job that took her out of state. Or perhaps she just walked away. Maybe she had a valid reason to walk away. Any thoughts on why she missed all those years with her son.

It's hard to imagine a good reason or even a reasonable explantion.

JI could have intimidated her. Going only by the interviews we've seen, that seems unlikely. He seemed to defer to DB.

Maybe it's a financial issue, and she could barely sustain herself, much less properly care for her child. Maybe she thought the child was in a better situation and didn't exercise her visitation rights because that might result in JI trying to get child support enforced. Not a very good reason, imo, but a possible explanation.

From the first, there have been rumors revolving around her immigration status. No idea if there is any basis for that rumor, but immigrants whose status is uncertain and who are unfamilar with the court system often avoid any kind of legal proceedings. I have no idea what her background is, but there might be a cultural element. In some societies, men have more presumptive right to their children, and women have fewer parental rights.

Maybe she simply didn't want the responsibility. The only thing that is remarkable about that is that it's usually the father, not the mother who fades out of the picture.

None of these scenarios or any involving health, addiction or lifestyle issues show her to be an involved or responsible parent. We have no idea what her circumstances were, but even if we assume the worse that doesn't necessarily mean she is totally uncaring. Maybe she thought her child was better off where he was, but recent events have made her reconsider. All MOO.

 

[Jacie Estes]

No, but one can stay sober when alone with children and lock the doors, have an alarm system installed, pay the cell phone bill so you can call 911, there are a lot of things folks can do to safeguard their children.

911 can be called from a phone that can't make/accept calls because of non-payment.

At Domestic Violence shelters donated phones are used as a means for clients to contact 911. The phones don't have to be activated or have an active service. It is literally a life line for DV victims and their children. Just a thought for those who have old phones around...donate them to the local DV shelter. Same thing for Senior Centers. TIA

 

[MissJames]

I keep going back to the quote from a family member that JI was 'brutal' when he fought her for custody. That made me wonder if he had something to blackmail her with, or scare her with, so she just decided to give up and leave.

Makes me wonder why he's not fighting to find Lisa.