I'd suggest a major factor is the extent to which the parents, especially the mother when the father is absent, are in denial of a problem and seek to shield the disturbed child longer than seems sensible to outsiders. That was certainly the case with Lanza and seems to have been the case with Cruz, though there are mixed signals with Cruz's mother - it's reported she tried to "give him away" at the age of 6 after his adoptive father died, yet later she is reported to have refused to believe that the brothers could have been committing acts of vandalism against neighbours' cars. Maybe it's a maternal guilt thing, ie the feeling that they birthed the disturbed child and therefore need to devote everything to "making up" for the error.
Maybe other mothers would have given up and surrendered their troubled sons to the authorities who might have found ways to curb the behaviour, or maybe it would merely have postponed an inevitable outburst for a decade or so.
It would be very interesting to know how many of these young shooters had mothers who were over-protective, in denial or who shielded their sons from the consequences of their behaviour.
In most instances attempts to have the child elsewhere is fear. Especially when their are other children in the home .
An outburst causes so much chaos-- there are plenty of videos on YT of such.
Watch some , and then ask yourself "If I was a single mom, on limited income, with two other children in the house , would I not be petrified"?
You know what else struck me last night?
I think it was the friends parents who (great choice) called the FBI
a person in the age bracket (like peers) I dont think would use the descriptor "erratic behavior" -- that just struck me as "adult"
The illness is not like a static thing. It can have much nuance and individuality.
And within that there is variation. The word spectrum gives an image of like left or right ON it .
Its a bit more a like a mash - and being intelligent does not mean one is not suffering with autism.
Its kinda like computer speed processing. Typically their abilty to process and understand the world around them is at a different speed, often scary and confusing.
There is a delayed developmental component as well,
I used to ask parents to, when there 15 year old is behaving in one manner what their reaction would be to the exact same behavior by a 4 year old.
The reaction is always different and should be.
Until it is truly grasped that the birthdate and height are somewhat not helpful here it is confusing.
Suffering with autism does not translate to stupid, while at the same time getting good grades in some areas does not mean the individual is not suffering with autism if that makes sense.
There really is no mutually exclusive component to any mental illness
Just like in the womb certain parts of us develop at different rates -- there is a similarity here.
And as we grow up there are typically stages where we master certain skill sets.
These are different for these folks
if we look at how a child learns to talk that is not linear some days he can say moma (while learning) and some days cant.
Often there is an inability to "process" how others are behaving and how to respond to others behavior.
If they perceive a smile as an mean person anyone is gonna respond differently.
So socially they experience all kinds of avoidance and mimicking bullying and being isolated because others dont understand how the autistic child is responding to what they understand they are meaning to communicate.
Try to put yourself in that world.
If automatically to you you think a smile is threatening and dangerous you are gonna respond differently.
But for the folks that understand and have an expectation of what normative response to smiling at someone else is - it becomes confusing for the other person as well .
But now we have two confused people.
if that makes sense
They do not have the tools to appropriately interact socially with the world around them
As I have said before for anyone who thinks he is malingering to avoid consequences ponder the call to dad . It blew my mind.
Down the road when the reality of the involvement of mental health in this tragedy starts , there will be many with the notion that he is not sick if he can plan to do this .
etc etc etc