Christmas 2007 - JA in Yreka w/family . . . . she called TA excited and ask him to call back . . . he doesn't call . . . she needs to remember this - can't write it in journal but this is one thing he does to upset her.
He purchases nice gifts for her Xmas - hymnal with her name in gold letters, calendar of 1000 places (important to their relationship) . .. sweater - even though he has very little money
she is starting to pull back - very much involved in relationship. Crossing bottom lines . . . with battered women in shelter and private practice . . . they impune their own integrity every time they cross their own bottom lines.
one woman she worked with very successful in own business took her over 1 year to share with ALV what happened . . . .ashamed, felt stuck, . . . . this woman married in 30's successful in their own business . . .had a cat who was her baby . . . . her husband threw cat across the room . . . he would never do that again . . stressed ut and having a bad day.
over time this woman lost who she was . . come hom and food dish was empty - never happened whn she was single . . one day cat's paw's cut . . . . said dropped glass . . . one day he took her cat away and never saw cat again.
for every dv relationship . . . their bottom line is compromised .. . they look like incest survivors in taking the blame (JA is attempting to fake tears? - IMO)
sexual intimacy and keep doing it - not because you want to but that is what keep relationship . .. but not what you want you still do it - we lose part owho we are . . .it is gradual . .. throw frog in pot boiling water . . . frog jump out . .. put frog in water and turn heat to boil - the frog will boil as it is gradual.
People sexual compromise act like incest survivors - blame self for abuse directed @ them . . . even when they are adults . . . . .they look @ it with adult lens. . .. people don't wan to talk about sex relations in public venue.
text messages between JA an TA reviewed by ALV
exhibit #440
group of text messages between the 2 . . . start end of 2007? . . .. actually start 2006 . . .til June 2008 . . .
text messages in beginning of Jan . . . TA text and saying I love you Jodi. . . objection
nice loving emails . . . TA starts them . . . JA is responding . .. . significant about them?
they have good times in their relationship -it is not just a blemish . . . good periods of time and caring, show love,ability to connect - normal positive periods of time in the relationship. .
act like a couple? . . .yes they do . . . talk about swap cars . . . normal part can we swap cars today . . . the normalcy of it . . .what people do in relationship . . . becomes important to see.
Jan 21, 2008 - time there is a 2nd physical aggressive act . . . . tell us about that incident?
objection - leading
Incident occurred on Jan 21st . . . JA spending time with TA . . . he had boxes out - he gave her something . . . she forgot to take object with her . . .drove away and came back . . .went up to his room and masturbating to pic of little boy . .. she freezes @ first . . . goes home - she throws up . . . calls from tA doesn't return them - goes to temple .
they have conversation later -he talks and she listens. . . she thinks about him as a little boy and his childhood . . . he tells her sex with women makes him feel more normal.
she goes back thinking about him as a child . . . .about empathy - he is privy and aware of what happened to him in childhood, feels for him as a child/little boy.
after conversation JA feels he needs help . . .. the next day she goesbck to his house - he wants to borrow $ from her . . . JA has no more money to loan - she has loaned $700 - they argued . . .. he throws her the floor . . . . he says that don't act like that hurts - he kicks her finger - her finger is broken . . . finger is crooked.. . . ALV didn't look @ her hand so she doesn't know .
TA leaves the room and goes somewhere other than where she goes . . . she is concerned - she is not scared according to the prosecution expert . . . . objection
made statements about not being scared . . . . I am not sure where he is going and I wonder if he is getting a weapon - that sounds like scared to ALV . .. . he comesback to the room and splints her finger.
ALV interview w/JM . . . . ALV said pictures were viewed on a computer . . . . JA never said pics were on a computer . . . ALV misspoke . . . .she is one of the few people who still does hard copies - young people do everything over the internet - that what she thought and misspoke.
not unusual - if you go to ER with an injury there is a mandatory report to the police - if they are injured from their partner the police are called .. .. not a lot of record of medical or police calls in DV cases. . . . when eople intend to stay together - they don't call - protective of the other - victims of either gender.
police reports - did JA notify LEO about broken finger? no she did not
people don't want to involve police . .. embarrassment and reputation protection . . . job hinges on police records. . . . . every state and county is different - there is generally a law but policy can differ from county to county.
TA is leader in community, priesthoodholder in temple, gives him a lot to lose - reputation and his job in PPL many people are Mormon . . . . victims of DV you do not want to destroy reputation of the other person.
he kicked her - she put her hand out and finger broken.
conflict tactic scale . . . . mild aggression to severe aggression . . mild acts - hitting, pushing, grabbing, restraining, . . .. . during the first incident between JA and TA . . . . mild act . . ALV doesn't feel this was a mild act - she differs from this scale.
severe acts . .. punching, choking, hair pulling, kicking, use weapon.
ALV disagree with mild acts of aggression . . .there is nothing about psychological abuse n the conflict scale. . .
in research asks have youever done anything . . . if say yes you are put in the aggressive group . . . no one asks why they did it . . . hit because self protection? fear? . . going thru stress . . .
add emotional/psychological abuse to mild acts . . . cause fear? . . . psychological abuse tears away your character . . . question own . . . .. mood of the relationship . . .. add physical abuse you add layers of fear . . . other kinds in the relationship.
he kicks her . . . escalation 3 months . . . . mild to more severe act of aggression . . . escalate intensity . . . relatively short period of time . . . 3 months . . . .her perspective as an expert 3 months not very long.
First incient and 2nd incident frequency . . . . kicking is severe on conflict tactic scale - intensity increasing . . . . prior to that emotional abuse going on.
starts subtle and most people don't realize it . . .starts name calling "
" making that a joke . . . that alone supports abusive relationship? no . . ..
looking specifically @ JA and TA relationship and supportive messages from other women - you see a pattern of abuse - name calling, putting down of someone's values . . . . less long and less intense than TA and JA relationship.
escalate guilt coming from TA . . . he is just caught day before masturbating to pic of little boy . . . next day he asks money and he kicks her . . . . generally he would feel more guilty.
when person has guilt . . . . anytime you do soething to hurt partner physical, or psychological - you really feel guilty . . . Men will talk about how scared they are - worry about partner leaving . . . any aggressive act is eviencwe the victim has more reason to leave . .. fear goes up but guilt goes up to in the abusive person.
when someone feels guiltier - and look in person's eyes they have hurt - triggers more rage . . . . .fear makes someone more dangerous . .. fear of loss . .. human fear gets exaggerated in those relationship.
fear of loss - tends to be more controlling behaviors
JA starts to pull away from relationship - little bits . . . .contribute to TA's fear of loss.
Late Jan 2008 - characterize their relationship @ this time?
A domestically abusive relationship . . .. based upon everything we were just talking about.
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