I'm Angry: victim's mom, perp's wife

[SuziQ]

I have to agree with TG. This shouldn't be a thread here, imo.

Unfortunately, Mary is making this topic a topic of discussion. And I wish she wouldn't.

 

[soobs]

As you can see from watching TV, the media can be vicious to get a juicy story. The victim's family probably doesn't have the experience of dealing with the media. They're learning the hard way. (There are classes to help people avoid the land mines of an interview.) The father is probably avoiding the media to prevent this from happening to his words. I think we should give this women a break. We weren't there when she made these statements and it sounds like they were taken out of context. If I was in their position, I'd want to avoid the press too. It's offensive to speculate that she resented Maria when we don't even know these people and now their world is in the spot light because an evil subhuman took their precisious child and grandchild from them. Let's not make it worse. JMHO ps I'm just saying let's give her the benefit of the doubt.

 

[golfmom]

I was just re-reading Mary's statement regarding Maria's lying. It does sound like Mary did have valid reasons to be concerned about her daughter's truthfulness.

Mary Lauterbach had a solid reason for these words of motherly caution. While assigned to Marine Occupation Specialties School at Camp Lejeune in the fall of 2006, Maria told a disturbing lie to some of her fellow Marines, claiming her father had accidentally killed her 6-year-old brother by throwing a lamp at him. Lauterbach was placed in counseling after her mother assured authorities that Maria's actual brother, nearly 9 at the time, was alive and well.

http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2008/01/20/ddn012008mariainside.html

 

[Ticamom]

I was just re-reading Mary's statement regarding Maria's lying. It does sound like Mary did have valid reasons to be concerned about her daughter's truthfulness.

Mary Lauterbach had a solid reason for these words of motherly caution. While assigned to Marine Occupation Specialties School at Camp Lejeune in the fall of 2006, Maria told a disturbing lie to some of her fellow Marines, claiming her father had accidentally killed her 6-year-old brother by throwing a lamp at him. Lauterbach was placed in counseling after her mother assured authorities that Maria's actual brother, nearly 9 at the time, was alive and well.

http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2008/01/20/ddn012008mariainside.html

Yes, and we know now that her words were taken out of context and used by the media to lessen Maria's credibility. This slowed down and hampered the initial investigation. I know that Mary will always be sorry for her hasty words. She has to live with the guilt every day, of screening her daughter 's calls for help, of not believing her daughter, of telling her to put the baby up for adoption, and especially for what she said to the investigators and the media. I was angry with Mary at first, but now I pity her.

 

[Littledeer]

I was just wondering. Being adopted, and if something like this had happened to me, I wonder if my birth mom would have attended my funeral?

Wonder if Maria's birth mom attended hers? Or maybe even contacted Mary or vice versa? Not important in the scheme of things, but just something I wanted to say out loud.

 

[nanandjim]

When the mother said she screened her calls I was just like WOW...

I couldn't believe that this mother would screen her calls from a daughter that desperately needed her. Sad, isn't it?

 

[Littledeer]

I screen my phone calls, and there have been times that I did not pick up the phone from a child of mine that has called.

So I am not going to bash Mary on that, unless it was a routine occurence for her to not answer the phone when Maria was the caller.

 

[Mygirlsadie]

Yes it is very sad because it was Maria reaching out... I heard the mother say Maria was homesick and blah blah blah...so screen your calls mom?! Real nice!

I couldn't believe that this mother would screen her calls from a daughter that desperately needed her. Sad, isn't it?

 

[TGIRecovered]

I was just wondering. Being adopted, and if something like this had happened to me, I wonder if my birth mom would have attended my funeral?

Wonder if Maria's birth mom attended hers? Or maybe even contacted Mary or vice versa? Not important in the scheme of things, but just something I wanted to say out loud.

I am a birthmom, and there are several factors that I would consider in deciding to attend the funeral of a child I gave for adoption.

First of all would be the feelings of the family who raised him. I would never want to intrude upon them if my being there made them upset or uncomfortable. I have great respect and gratitude for the fact that they were willing to lovingly raise him and cherish him as their own when I was unable.

Another consideration would be how he (the child I gave up) he felt about me. If he had not expressed an interest in knowing me during his life, I would respect that in death.

I can't imagine how painful it would be to lose a child, adopted or not. It hurts just to think about it.

If my presence caused any fruther pain to the adoptive family, I would simply have to find another way to grieve his untimely death and to honor his life. I would relentlessly pursue justice for the person responsible.

I hope this helps, littledeer. It must be hard to understand that sometimes when someone is not around, it is because they do care so very much for you; not because they don't. :blowkiss:

Susan

 

[Rum Tum Tugger]

I am a birthmom, and there are several factors that I would consider in deciding to attend the funeral of a child I gave for adoption.

First of all would be the feelings of the family who raised him. I would never want to intrude upon them if my being there made them upset or uncomfortable. I have great respect and gratitude for the fact that they were willing to lovingly raise him and cherish him as their own when I was unable.

Another consideration would be how he (the child I gave up) he felt about me. If he had not expressed an interest in knowing me during his life, I would respect that in death.

I can't imagine how painful it would be to lose a child, adopted or not. It hurts just to think about it.

If my presence caused any fruther pain to the adoptive family, I would simply have to find another way to grieve his untimely death and to honor his life. I would relentlessly pursue justice for the person responsible.

I hope this helps, littledeer. It must be hard to understand that sometimes when someone is not around, it is because they do care so very much for you; not because they don't. :blowkiss:

Susan

TGIRecovered .."dearest Susan" .. :blowkiss:

Speaking as the 3rd side of the adoption triangle .. a blessed & grateful adoptive mom - I want to thank you for writing this most thoughtful & heartfelt post. It touched me to my core.

I truly hope LittleDeer had an opportunity to return here & read your eloquently stated words.

I am most appreciative that you took the time & care to share your thoughts & feelings.

{{{{God Bless & Hugs to you, Susan!}}}}

Rum Tum Tugger