Kyron Horman's stepmother is a profile in contradictions....

[For The Kids]

Yes, exactly. Her father-in-law was planning to buy a boat and she was complaining that he was using up money that would otherwise have gone to her husband after her father-in-law's death.

Huh huh..

From the article

"Once when they were shopping online with their son, Horman walked into the room and asked what they were doing. They told her Chuck Ecker wanted to buy a boat. "She said, 'Oh, so you're spending Jxxxx' inheritance,'" Mavis Ecker said. "She was serious."


So for whatever reason she thought the money for the boat was money her son would have got after Ecker Seniors death. It was her sons inheritance she was worried about - not her husbands.

 

[pugglesworth]

Meh. I see no red flags and no stunning new information in this article. Lots of stuff that could be twisted into innuendos, but I think that could happen with almost anyone's full biography. I'm sure my MIL could come up with some damning things to say about me, especially because she's also the type to think every kind gesture is "kissing up" and not just...kind. As for not getting a job with her degree, the Oregon economy has been uniquely troubled the last five years or so. My husband finished school in 08 and just this month FINALLY found a real, full-time job that uses his knowledge and pays a living wage with benefits. For the last two years there has been literally nothing around the Portland area. He went to a hiring fair for a local supermarket that attracted TWO THOUSAND applicants who stood in line all day waiting for 3 minutes with an interviewer. Many of those people had college degrees, some were in their 50s and 60s with years of experience. The job situation here has been awful, and the schools are always getting cut.

 

[watchful_eye]

Most importantly, teaching jobs are not easy to find. I have a friend that has tried for a full time position for over 10 years, there are none available. So, you either teach part-time substitute work, or find other employment. Once you have a full time teaching job you are not likely to give it up, so not many positions open up. If they do, someone who has been doing it longer will likely get the full time job over you. Just not an easy job to find at all.

Really??? Everyone I know that graduated with a degree in education had no trouble. I'm thinking it is a regional thing???

 

[Etilema]

...
John Rosemond is famous for his advice to parents whose kids are having big problems. He says tell the kids, "The dr. (yes, Dr. Rosemond) says that if you are having trouble paying attention/following directions/not talking in class, etc. then you are probably overtired and not getting enough rest. So every day that you don't have a green card we are going to move your bedtime up 10 minutes so we can find just the right bedtime for you.

What you are describing sounds very different from "disciplining" by spending the whole night in his room, not being allowed to watch movies, or eliminating play time. These things sound much more punitive, and obviously out of proportion.

JMO

 

[Etilema]

Huh huh..

From the article

"Once when they were shopping online with their son, Horman walked into the room and asked what they were doing. They told her Chuck Ecker wanted to buy a boat. "She said, 'Oh, so you're spending Jxxxx' inheritance,'" Mavis Ecker said. "She was serious."


So for whatever reason she thought the money for the boat was money her son would have got after Ecker Seniors death. It was her sons inheritance she was worried about - not her husbands.

OK, true. Grandparents sometimes do allocate money to grandchildren in their wills.

JMO

 

[AbbieNormal]

Excuse me ??????


:furious:

You mean on things like landscapers?

 

[ThoughtFox]

Really??? Everyone I know that graduated with a degree in education had no trouble. I'm thinking it is a regional thing???

I've known people who interviewed many times but never got a job offer. One woman I know finally got desperate and asked a personel director why she kept getting turned down - it was the way she was answering questions. If someone comes across lacking in self-esteem or maybe as too arrogant they might not be seen as classroom-ready. Other people might use bad grammar or give vague answers. Just a few reasons they might not get hired.

We also don't know her grades, do we?

 

[Etilema]

This part is really sad:

"I think she's really lonely," Jxxxx said. "She's not supposed to leave the house."

I feel bad for poor Jxxxx.

 

[21merc7]

Really??? Everyone I know that graduated with a degree in education had no trouble. I'm thinking it is a regional thing???

It may be regional, it may depend on what your degree is in. I can name 30 people qualified to teach English from highschool to college ages, none have a job in that field.

Still, we can only assume that KH and TH were fine with her being a stay at home mom, regardless of opportunity or any other denominator. We simply do not know their arrangements and choices, but it appears they were both fine with it all those years.

 

[loves2bmom]

Really??? Everyone I know that graduated with a degree in education had no trouble. I'm thinking it is a regional thing???

We've had huge teaching layoffs here for the last several years!

 

[YellowSubmarine]

I will say this about the article, It shows that Terri is incapable of commitment, to anything, its like she gives a 150 percent for awhile then just throws her hands up and walks away, you can see her lack of commitment in her inability to hold a husband, a business, a job, she gave up on body building and evetually her kids, starting with J, she was frustrated with the baby and now Kyron is gone, if this article did anything at all it was to confirm to me that she is capable of at least getting rid of Kyron, maybe she sold him or adopted him out in an underground network, With her personality I could see her doing that, maybe not physically harming him, but getting rid of him just like she has everything else in her life. Maybe this is why LE and Kaine and Desiree feel he is still alive.

I so, soooo agree with you here! Her multiple marriages and moving her son around show she doesn't hold much attachment. If she had a hand in Kyrons disappearance, this could definitely be some insight about why.

Her dettachment, erratic and controlling behavior, inability to commit and self-centeredness are certainly red flags. I'd love to hear what a psychiatrist has to say about all of this.

One thing that jumped out to me immediately, though, was the lack of stability for the kids. All these kids with so many "parents", being shuffled around . . . . very sad. Hope they all grow up to be healthy, happy, well-adjusted adults.

 

[Bodhi]

I will say this about the article, It shows that Terri is incapable of commitment, to anything, its like she gives a 150 percent for awhile then just throws her hands up and walks away, you can see her lack of commitment in her inability to hold a husband, a business, a job, she gave up on body building and evetually her kids, starting with J, she was frustrated with the baby and now Kyron is gone, if this article did anything at all it was to confirm to me that she is capable of at least getting rid of Kyron, maybe she sold him or adopted him out in an underground network, With her personality I could see her doing that, maybe not physically harming him, but getting rid of him just like she has everything else in her life. Maybe this is why LE and Kaine and Desiree feel he is still alive.

I agree, butterfly1978. Lack of commitment in relationships, career, hobbies.

And extremely self-centered.

I'm astounded by how quickly after both prior marriages broke up she remarried or moved in with a new man. Her son was not even a year old when she married her 2nd husband. After that divorce, she meet and dated Kaine (while his wife was pregnant) and moved herself and her son in with him in less than 6 months.

It's all about what she wants at the time. Anyone else is just collateral damage. She seems to be very cavalier about the effect her life decisions make on her child.

 

[AbbieNormal]

what? really? You find it surprising that the person who busts their butt at a job daily should question and have an issue with the way their sah spouse is spending money like water w/o consulting with them????

I have always been the primary breadwinner in my family and if my hard earned income was being p*ssed away without my knowledge or approval you're damn straight I'd have a problem with that.

So would I. When I wasn't on disability yet (therefore bringing in no income)
and my hubby was still working, I did not consider his income "ours". But when I was working, we always split the blls and mortgage down the middle, each of us paid half, and did what we wanted with the rest of our money. Once my disability kicked in I resumed paying my 1/2 of the bills and the rest was mine to do whatever I wanted to with. Unfortunately, there wasn't much left. Now, hes disabled and we still split the bills 50/50 and the leftover goes for groceries and general survival. We both really miss our disposeable income.....

 

[Deleted member 718]

Most of the estimated 2,400 newly minted teachers who graduated from Oregon colleges of education this year were unable to get hired anywhere in Oregon, proving that a job often billed as recession-proof is not.

Education deans and others who monitor the job market say this was the state's worst hiring season for new teachers in at least a generation.

http://www.oregonlive.com/education/index.ssf/2009/10/most_of_oregons_2400_new_teach.html

 

[Cajun Girl]

I am more interested in the parallels in TMH and DDS lives over this past year;

Due to the recent articles we know that both women were on unemployment. Both women had signifigant changes in their behavior. Both women were well organized. Both women seemed depressed/unhappy. Both women appear to have narcissistic tendencies.

These are the things that disturb me.

Where are you angel?

 

[nursebeeme]

I am more interested in the parallels in TMH and DDS lives over this past year;

Due to the recent articles we know that both women were on unemployment. Both women had signifigant changes in their behavior. Both women were well organized. Both women seemed depressed/unhappy. Both women appear to have narcissistic tendencies.

These are the things that disturb me.

Where are you angel?

bbm great thread idea imhoo

 

[desquire]

The prevailing motive I've heard for the "Terri did it" scenarios is an eye-for-an-eye revenge against Kaine for sending J away from her. Unless Kaine is lying here about Terri being the one to send J away - and why would he lie about something easily verifiable - that motive is off the table. What else is there?

 

[nursebeeme]

The timing of her son's name change seems very interesting in retrospect and the name it was changed to.

1) She had his name changed in January of this year, according to this article. Why now, after all these years?

2) His last name was changed to Moulton, her maiden name, and not to Tarver.

If he has spending summers and weekends with his grandparents, I can see why the name might be changed to Moulton. But if he's been spending summers/weekends with his biological father and now lives with him, wouldn't J want it to be changed to Tarver?

J moved to Roseburg sometime in January. He lived with his grandparents for a short time before moving to his father's. So it seems he has a good relationship with his father. I can understand he feels no connection to the name 'Ecker'. But who (Terri or James) wanted his name changed and what did James want it to be?

interesting observation.

And might I add right before she sends him away while Kaine is on a business trip :waitasec:

 

[debs]

what? really? You find it surprising that the person who busts their butt at a job daily should question and have an issue with the way their sah spouse is spending money like water w/o consulting with them????

I have always been the primary breadwinner in my family and if my hard earned income was being p*ssed away without my knowledge or approval you're damn straight I'd have a problem with that.

It comes to mind that kaine could be one of those men who makes his money but has no reasonable conception of what it costs to run a house on a day to day basis. As for p*ssing away money, seems another contradiction then that he wrapped up a mustang for mother's day. Perspective.

 

[gitana1]

H hasnt seen J in years apparently because he asked Terri if he could reduce his payments as they were crippling him. He never got to see J again.

Since TH's ex adopted her son, he could have petitioned the court for visitation and/or custodial rights. TH would have had no power to deny him those rights. he would have been treated in court like any other parent. It does not appear from the article that he did.