I hope I'm not double posting. I was trying to post earlier and lost it.
I have a hard time reconciling the Kaine completely oblivious about his wife's PPD, what medication she'd taken in the past and if she is still taking it, and if she still has PPD, with the Kaine in possession of the emotional wherewithal to finesse a successful discussion about his wife's weight.
Some take any little criticism of Kaine as bashing. If Terri's responsible, the dynamics between her and Kaine are important, not as a way to excuse anything she may have done but certainly as a way to understand it.
On another note, I think most of us have probably done things that could be construed as selfish or hurtful. There's nothing in any of these stories that screams sociopath. Terri seems organized, thoughtful at times and selfish at other times, a good mom struggling to come up with a way to deal with a child who was having behavioral problems (Kyron), and the list goes on. It's all so painfully normal, IMHO. Most parents disagree with other parents about how to raise children (I would NEVER do that!), but at the end of the day, sometimes you find what works. Kyron is a charming child, but that doesn't mean he was perfect. He could've been a handful. Obviously, and before anyone accuses me of saying something I'm not, nothing Kyron did, even in his worst moment, would justify someone, anyone harming him, but I don't think the normal pains of parenting should be used against Terri.
We only ever hear one side of the story, and often that side is contradictory at best, and often Kaine presents the side that shows him in the most favorable light. This hasn't only happened with Terri, either.
I guess I'm just tired of all this peripheral information. It's not helping find Kyron. It's not smoking gun information. A lot of it isn't based on facts. IMHO, most people's lives wouldn't survive the microscope, even other players in this awful, sad story.
BBM.
TH is not talking so yes, we don't hear the whole story but since we hear from TH's friends and relatives, we are
not hearing only one side of the story. IMO.
I have seen nothing to indicate that Kyron has a behavior problem. He was described as a good, shy child, maybe with some difficulties following directions which is an educational problem, not a behavioral one. It seems to me that because TH is reported as having been suddenly monitoring Kyron's behavior in what some consider an obsessive way, Kyron is now being described by some as having a behavior problem, as a means of explaining away this tidbit about TH. But, it has never been reported.
Examples of behavior problem (IMO), hitting, biting, back talking teachers repeatedly, not interacting well with other kids (like not making friends or keeping them), acting out sexually, throwing huge tantrums at age 7, etc. Nothing like that reported about this darling little boy.
I think Kaine has shown incredible restraint towards a woman he thinks took his child away. This is not some family squabble or routine divorce. This is a little boy missing for several weeks. Kaine has shown incredible restraint.
And what he has said doesn't come close to the ugly divorces I am privy to which do not include a missing child. (It's awful, what I hear).
Regarding the criticism of Kaine, I think what annoys some of us is that it appears not be simple criticism or observation, but rather, part of a theory that TH is the innocent victim of a conspiracy of angry exes, ganging up on poor TH. Making Kaine out to be a controlling and angry spouse supports that theory. That bothers me because I have seen nothing to indicate he's just a victim of a crime coming to conclusions that a re reasonable based on what he has observed and been told by LE.
Bottom line, I don't think the guy is perfect at all. I'm sure he has had his moments. But sometimes imperfect people are victims and sometimes people who seemed wonderful commit horrible crimes.
But I agree with you that by itself, this portrait of TH is not an indicator of sociopathy or any other personality disorder for that matter. Things do jump out now due to the context but on their own, these tidbits do not alarm me.
It is interesting though, to those of us off the fence on the side that thinks TH is involved. Trying to see if there were any signs, trying to understand. But otherwise, I do share your feeling that this is peripheral stuff that is not helping to find Kyron (except perhaps by continued publicity). I keep feeling like I should not come back on the Kyron threads until my e-mail alerts tell me there is something new because the lack of real news is frustrating!
I keep coming back though!