SS I respect your opinions very much and have found you to be a very caring person. I'm curious if you have ever dealt with a KC in your own life? Ever known someone you had to weigh and balance every word before you spoke? Someone you try very hard to stay emotionally neutral with so you don't say the wrong thing, ever? No matter how angry, sad, frustrated you are, you can't let it show or it will be used against you. It's exhausting.
I have, my 18 yr old son. And exhausting doesn't even begin to describe it. Some kids just don't turn out the way you would like, even with the best parenting skills. I am flawed, like most other parents, but I have 3 other children who have turned out absolutely wonderfully. One is at college on full scholarship, another in the military, and the "baby" is a straight "A" student in high school. Never a lick of trouble, no drinking or drugs, stealing or lying... great, great kids.
.. but, my son has had his hand in
everything. And takes no responsibility for
anything he does. He will find a logical way [in his mind] of making everything he does someone else's fault. He has been in more programs than I can count, I've taken
three different 10 wk long parenting courses for children with oppositional behaviour and "other" problems, in the hopes of gaining insight. Strategies up the yahoo.... and nothing. This son of mine lies and steals without remorse, has never learned what personal boundaries are [regardless of countless consequencing].. etc etc etc
I could go on and on, but my point is that as parents - none of us is perfect and it is very easy to take someone else's inventory when everything they have said or done has been under the glare of the public spotlight. I'd like to know just how the rest of us would come out of this particular wash. Here's where we get folks who'll say "My kid would never have done it in the first place, or if she/he had I would have done A, B, C and D"... but it's very easy to say that when we aren't in the position of it happening to us. Every criminal in the history of the universe was once
someone's baby, and some of them were pretty nice, common folk ... on the outside. Many of them had very normal childhoods with no glaring red, flashing arrows pointing to the fact that they would commit an unforgiveable crime at some point in their adulthood.
Being in the unique position of having a teen with alot of issues, I do not blame these parents one iota. I have not always agreed with everything they have said or done, but my position affords me the latitude to err on the side of leniency with regards to their actions. To me they have done the best they could at any given time. I can't imagine myself
not breaking and making a few faux pas under all the media scrutiny while protesters screamed obscenities and vulgar comments - all the while trying to come to terms with the fact that my grandbaby was missing and might not ever come home again.
...and that my daughter is responsible.
I just think we need to focus on the person who is responsible for this precious loss of life, and not criminalize the grandparents. I seem to be in the minority here, but that's jmo.
My heart goes out to you George and Cindy, may you both find some peace amidst the pain you now feel and the heartache that will surely accompany it in the coming months.
I guess it's a guy thing? Can't pass up a good deal.
