MO - Six Mohler family members for child sex crimes, Bates City 2009 #3

[Missizzy]

Henry--Thank you for your very kind words. Just like life, in general, I didn't get a choice. When my son came to me with the disclosures back in 1998, I wanted to run away and hide. I wanted scream and wail. I felt like I had a handle on my life but I didn't. I felt so guilty that some monster had gotten past me and my husband.

I can't even begin to describe how protective we were with our youngest eight. But we were so naive, so deluded. We never saw it coming. It was like a head-on collision where all the children were left permanently disabled. I didn't want to be their Momma anymore. I wanted my "other" children back.

I'll admit it here, in front of God and everybody, I left for four days. I drove south on I-5. I didn't know where I was going but I had to get away from the dirtiness, the nastiness, the pain. I adore my husband and we've been married since we were 18. We are truly joined at the hip. But I was in self preservation mode. I told him one night that I had to get out or my head would explode. He, very wisely and lovingly, said simply...go. I did.

Obviously, I came back. The sun came up and life went on. My kids are great--warts and all. They were permanently changed and scarred but they were also made far stronger. I learned to cry and to be humble and to accept help. I think we've proven to each and every one of our kids that we are here forever for them--no matter what. They know their Momma won't let things go..won't accept the status quo. They know I love them and will fight to my last breath for the safety of all children. I look and sound very sweet and kind and loving but you know what? I'm mad as hell and I'm not going away.

 

[Missizzy]

Question--Has anyone been able to figure out how long a person can sit in a Missouri jail without representation? If one decides to represent themselves, doesn't that have to be declared? This really confounds me.

 

[Texas Mist]

The following points have caused me hours of thought:

1) 2 of BM Sr's children (BM Jr Firefighter, RM EMT) and one allegedly abused grandchild (unidentified police officer) chose careers whose purpose is TO SAVE PEOPLE. What does this say??? "I could not save my self/my siblings/children but I will spend my life trying to save the lives of others?" or??

2) What would make me abuse my own children? Maybe if that part of my soul that instinctively urges me to protect those younger/more helpless was shattered prior? Because perhaps I was forced at a young age to abuse those I felt I was to protect such as my brothers???

3) Why does DM and RM have families that seem removed from the whole incest scenario?

4) Why did JM never marry and why are his home and BM Sr's the only ones in which tapes/photos were found. Do some desire to forget while some strive to keep the memories alive??

This case troubles me so.

Welcome, Henry -- thought-provoking posts, so keep 'em coming.

I'll throw in my :twocents: on your questions:

1) Power & control (saving lives puts one in a very powerful position, right?), primarily male-dominated career, a need to be "looked up to"

2) power, control over the young & helpless due to inability to have power & control over one's own abuser

3) they have vic who can't - out of fear -- or won't speak up??...many victims of incestual abuse actually *do* love their abusers -- especially if the abuser is a parent....familial abusers often offer special treatment in return for keeping the secrets, and tell the vics how special they are.

4) Still wondering myself why JM never married, but LE may have been able to get search warrants for the perps the vics mentioned as taking/being in the pics they say were taken....we've also wondered about whether or not the Cyber-squad was involved in monitoring any computer activity & gathered evidence via the internet that we haven't heard about yet.

It *is* a troubling case -- we're hanging together tho to get through it....I intend on watching this case til the pervy perps are locked away.

 

[HenryWagler]

Thank you Missizzy for being so open, for exposing yourself to a level of vulnerability that most could not bear to imagine.

Please share your story with whomever will listen - coast to coast, pole to pole. I am sure you have made it your life's mission to show others what should never be kept a secret; I applaud you.

Maybe then your family's horrors will act to save another from similar devastation and manipulation, one can only pray this will help save many.

 

[Missizzy]

I found this on Topix but can't verify it. Can anyone else?

"People in Lamoni, IA set up a emergency fund at the Bank of the West for David!!!! They are NUTS!!!!! Community of Christ members make up most of this town!!!"

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/fox4kc/T9PFUFKS9DU4OT0S7/p30

 

[HenryWagler]

Sounds like a case of "The Emperor's New Clothes".

I can only guess that it must be "so much easier" to donate $20 to a "wrongly accused" man than to come to grips with the fact that you and your family may have broken bread with and sat next to a child rapist while giving thanks to the Lord.

Above all, this cannot be what is more palatable or easier to stomach for those not involved, but rather it is all about giving the victims the benefit of any doubt for the first time in their lives.

 

[Nikki_2]

Henry--Thank you for your very kind words. Just like life, in general, I didn't get a choice. When my son came to me with the disclosures back in 1998, I wanted to run away and hide. I wanted scream and wail. I felt like I had a handle on my life but I didn't. I felt so guilty that some monster had gotten past me and my husband.

I can't even begin to describe how protective we were with our youngest eight. But we were so naive, so deluded. We never saw it coming. It was like a head-on collision where all the children were left permanently disabled. I didn't want to be their Momma anymore. I wanted my "other" children back.

I'll admit it here, in front of God and everybody, I left for four days. I drove south on I-5. I didn't know where I was going but I had to get away from the dirtiness, the nastiness, the pain. I adore my husband and we've been married since we were 18. We are truly joined at the hip. But I was in self preservation mode. I told him one night that I had to get out or my head would explode. He, very wisely and lovingly, said simply...go. I did.

Obviously, I came back. The sun came up and life went on. My kids are great--warts and all. They were permanently changed and scarred but they were also made far stronger. I learned to cry and to be humble and to accept help. I think we've proven to each and every one of our kids that we are here forever for them--no matter what. They know their Momma won't let things go..won't accept the status quo. They know I love them and will fight to my last breath for the safety of all children. I look and sound very sweet and kind and loving but you know what? I'm mad as hell and I'm not going away.

Missizzy - One thing that most of us experience in life is that we cannot always see around the corner, therefore we cannot prepare for what is there.

I believe that there is a reason why things happen in life, sometimes they are good and sometimes unbearable, but they all leave a trail and they all teach us something new about ourselves, our surroundings, our loved ones, and our strength.

The very actions in life that happen to hurt us - do pass, it is the pain, the confusion and sometimes the will to give up on everything that lingers within and torments our thoughts, really make one suffer.

You stood up to the challenge, - tears, hurt, anger, loneliness perhaps were your only allies, ....but you made it.

Be proud of yourself, you are a very strong person as you have, with an abundance of love, security and sacrifice given the foundations for your family to move on, to live.

Don't allow anything to rob you of your today and tommorow, the past cannot be changed and the future is yours. You are a true inspiration

 

[Texas Mist]

Sounds like a case of "The Emperor's New Clothes".

I can only guess that it must be "so much easier" to donate $20 to a "wrongly accused" man than to come to grips with the fact that you and your family may have broken bread with and sat next to a child rapist while giving thanks to the Lord.

Above all, this cannot be what is more palatable or easier to stomach for those not involved, but rather it is all about giving the victims the benefit of any doubt for the first time in their lives.

I cannot help but stand up for the vics/survivors....and I wonder about the people who are saying "show me the evidence" -- would they ask this of their own children who came to them with some horrible story?

If only a single family member was charged with these outrageous charges would they be so quick to disbelieve -- or are the charges less believable only because multiple family members were involved?

Would they believe the stories if charges were filed when the now-adult children were still young & *living* with the perps?

I'm just blown away that even after the report of finding the incest materials at Sr's house that some people still believe this is a setup, and continue to compare it to the McMartin daycare case.

But that's JMOOOC.

@MissIzzy -- I haven't found anything on the BoTW emergency fund or requirement for legal representation or not....I can't imagine that the Mohlers would attempt to represent themselves -- especially sick ol' Darrel.

 

[mysteriew]

"I would have liked to copy that directly so my prejudices aren't telegraphed into my translation, but I tried to get the gist of it here. Their copyright said I couldn't quote any of the article, so that is why I attempted to summarize. We have a poster here on WS who believes that the hatred or contempt of men or boys is the number one hate crime in America. I beg to differ and cannot understand how anyone who comes to this board and reads for any length of time could maintain that belief. I'm not trying to minimize crimes to males, but IMO it pales when compared to what is done to the females and children - the sexual abuse of male children is particularly devastating. I will further step out on the gang-plank and say that the attitude of male superiority/dominance/omnipotence is killing the bodies, souls and spirit of our women and children by allowing this screwed up thinking to continue and producing the next generation of criminals/broken humans. If it feels good to you but is harming someone else, it is not OK!! Until the most powerfull segment of society comes to believe that that way of thinking and acting is causing a blight upon our civilization nothing will change. I know women offend too, but I truly believe they were led down that path at some point in their lives by a male who did not have their best interests in his heart and they adopt that as the way to be - we get a self-perpetuating circle. These males have no concern for the harm they are causing, now or in the future, nor to how many people, and the women who depend upon them get sucked into the cess pool and then give birth to the next generation.

I know that was not very P.C. but I've been needing to get that off my chest for awhile. Missizzy's link just verified it for me. I'm not preaching man-hating, I'm preaching self-control on all levels, moderation in all things and it is your business if you see something which you know is not right, not popular concepts today. I think that good men must come to understand this does happen and it is their job and duty to help prevent and control it. Other men are the only thing that will hold sway over these people. The law is not going to help us I'm afraid to say. I'm not suggesting vigilantism, but perhaps the knowlege that you are watching and you do care, about your own wife and children and anyone elses because that is the right thing to do - not the idea that it's his "right" and it's not happening to you, or they are just making that up. No more blind eyes because you would never do that. There is no new evil in this world. "
Quote by IWannaKnow

Thank you so much for stating very eloquently what I have believed for most of my adult life. As a child of molestation(9 - 12 yrs old) I know first hand that adults look the other way and do NOT want to believe such crimes are being committed. At one point my abuser(my step-father) was caught "red-handed" so to speak, and I was soooo relieved. I just knew the abuse would stop. Boy, was I wrong. In the end, I was grounded for 2 weeks and got an a$$ whopping for "tempting" my step-father and "flirting" with him. Then I was told in no uncertain terms, that IF the abuse occurred again, I would be punished more severely, for 'letting" him do as he pleased.
This abuse happened in the early 70's, so there wasn't much help available for a little girl. Finally, in 1975, my dear beloved Grandma saved me and took me to live with her in another state. I shudder to think what my future would have been without her intervention.
Sorry for being so O/T, but I was trying to confirm the fact that victims of molestation are often not believed or even blamed for the abuse. I will go back to lurking mode, and I hope I haven't offended anyone or provided too much personal info.

First of all Suthrnqt, I want to welcome you to WS! And thank you for your post. Second, never apoligise for the type of post you just made. Many of us find that cases in the news relate to our personal experiences and how they relate to us. And there is no problem with that for the most part, as long as it is related. I am glad you are speaking out. Thank you for sharing.

 

[cleo612]

I found this on Topix but can't verify it. Can anyone else?

"People in Lamoni, IA set up a emergency fund at the Bank of the West for David!!!! They are NUTS!!!!! Community of Christ members make up most of this town!!!"

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/fox4kc/T9PFUFKS9DU4OT0S7/p30

I have a sickening feeling that these monsters are going to have the same type of supporters that Warren Jeffs and his ilk enjoyed while on trial.

It is disgusting.

 

[mysteriew]

I found this on Topix but can't verify it. Can anyone else?

"People in Lamoni, IA set up a emergency fund at the Bank of the West for David!!!! They are NUTS!!!!! Community of Christ members make up most of this town!!!"

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/fox4kc/T9PFUFKS9DU4OT0S7/p30

I don't know a lot about the religous aspects of this case. But I am getting a strong feeling that it is going to be similar to the LDS cases in Utah. In Utah the LDS has made an effort to get their church members elected to elective offices and appointed to many of the other government offices. Which means when one of their members has a need, they are dealing with their own members. That includes the justice system. Am I correct that this might be a factor in this case? In some towns in Utah it seems that it happens so much that a town might be completely run by LDS members. And yeah, when a member gets in trouble, the whole community comes out to support them, whether they agree with the issue or not.

That can sometimes explain lesser criminal charges, more lenient sentences.

One thing that hit me on this case is weird. I understand that it is a sexual case. But it goes so far beyond that, that there is so much more evidence of power and control issues. I know sex abuse cases are about power and control, but this one seems to take it to extremes, almost beyond the sexual issues. It is like they may have started with sex abuse and then went.... "well what else can we make them do?" The beastialty with the sex abuse got me starting to think about that. I am wondering if there might be some bondage and physical abuse that isn't being talked about yet?

 

[human]

I don't know a lot about the religous aspects of this case. But I am getting a strong feeling that it is going to be similar to the LDS cases in Utah. In Utah the LDS has made an effort to get their church members elected to elective offices and appointed to many of the other government offices. Which means when one of their members has a need, they are dealing with their own members. That includes the justice system. Am I correct that this might be a factor in this case? In some towns in Utah it seems that it happens so much that a town might be completely run by LDS members. And yeah, when a member gets in trouble, the whole community comes out to support them, whether they agree with the issue or not.

That can sometimes explain lesser criminal charges, more lenient sentences.

One thing that hit me on this case is weird. I understand that it is a sexual case. But it goes so far beyond that, that there is so much more evidence of power and control issues. I know sex abuse cases are about power and control, but this one seems to take it to extremes, almost beyond the sexual issues. It is like they may have started with sex abuse and then went.... "well what else can we make them do?" The beastialty with the sex abuse got me starting to think about that. I am wondering if there might be some bondage and physical abuse that isn't being talked about yet?

It's not just Utah. They have a lot of control in the US of A.

 

[Missizzy]

Texas Mist said, "I cannot help but stand up for the vics/survivors....and I wonder about the people who are saying "show me the evidence" -- would they ask this of their own children who came to them with some horrible story?"

Texas Mist--Think back to what some survivors have related here...even on this thread. They told a loved one and they got smacked or grounded. It rips my heart out but I really think an awful lot of people try to shut down kids when they are disclosing, minimize it, or rationalize it. They just can't handle it. It unpends everything they trust to be true. No, you and I can't fathom that but I think thousands of people do every single day.

I once had a child therapist ask me how we would react if children came up to us and said "Mom, I've got this really weird lump in my tummy". It could be horribly bad news. Life as we know it might turn upside down. We could be looking at losing a child, months in the hospital, and financial ruin. But we still have to say, "Honey, let's go have that looked at right away, you must be worried. I love you. You did the right thing to tell me."

I have to admit that I must have sat for about five minutes ruminating on my first son's disclosure. I was in shock. Oh, how I wanted it not to be true. I'm sure I was making some secret bargains with God. Oh, how I dreaded going in to the house and finding my husband. I still remember what he said. He listened to our son quietly, gave him a hug, and said, " Trust me, we'll get this worked out. You are very brave and you did nothing wrong. We'll call first thing in the morning and take you in to talk to a therapist. They'll know what to do. We'll keep you safe." That's what a good Dad does. I'm very blessed to live with one.

Good parents, loving community and church members don't just automatically discount a hurting child or adult's disclosure. That's just plain mean and evil. That is not how a healthy person reacts. Even if the abuser in question just helped clean out your garage and was as charming as all get out.

 

[Sheromom]

Sounds like a case of "The Emperor's New Clothes".

I can only guess that it must be "so much easier" to donate $20 to a "wrongly accused" man than to come to grips with the fact that you and your family may have broken bread with and sat next to a child rapist while giving thanks to the Lord.

Above all, this cannot be what is more palatable or easier to stomach for those not involved, but rather it is all about giving the victims the benefit of any doubt for the first time in their lives.

I HATE this case and what it is bringing out in people. O/T but when it happened, I posted about a child molester where I live and how all the church people- even the parent's of the abused children- wanted the man to be "forgiven" rather than sent to prison. The church turned on the one family that wouldn't just forgive! Fortunately, the judge saw fit to sentence the man to 20 years (not long enough but better than forgiveness). And, good news, the one family that wouldn't forgive recently won a settlement against the church.
http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/whidbey/wnt/news/69395267.html
I almost feel that such people are using God to enable sexual abusers!

 

[Missizzy]

Cleo612--I don't doubt you at all, but where are they? They seem to be taking their time getting around to circling the wagons. And please note that I can't find any official verification of a fund for David.

I still wonder how long these guys can just sit on ice waiting for representation. They have another court date in early Dec. That seems like a long time to wait without legal advice. Has anyone heard if any of them might be cooperating with LE?

 

[Missizzy]

A quote from post #81

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/fox4kc/T3P904T1L4AB9PUSN/p4

"You know, I actually attended a ward (LDS congregation) that Jr. attended. He is very charming, he is a very "nice" man and until recently, I would have never thought that anything in his conduct would be this sick and twisted. This is obviously something that has gone on for YEARS and YEARS and he must have gotten very good at covering it up, or he is so sick that it actually appears to be normal for him."

 

[Missizzy]

A quote from post #3

http://www.topix.net/forum/source/fox4kc/TIB7S4VC08CGIE0KM

From a person identifying themselves as being from Lees Summit, MO (27 miles from the Bates City farmhouse)

I wish I were surprised.
I live here, and am not.
I still think this is all a tip of the iceberg, and I am so glad the light has been shined on this.I hope with all my heart all these churches involved are also drug through the entire process, they failed these kids.
This religion, threatens people who try to help children?
This is not religion, this is a cult of evil.

 

[Texas Mist]

Texas Mist said, "I cannot help but stand up for the vics/survivors....and I wonder about the people who are saying "show me the evidence" -- would they ask this of their own children who came to them with some horrible story?"

Texas Mist--Think back to what some survivors have related here...even on this thread. They told a loved one and they got smacked or grounded. It rips my heart out but I really think an awful lot of people try to shut down kids when they are disclosing, minimize it, or rationalize it. They just can't handle it. It unpends everything they trust to be true. No, you and I can't fathom that but I think thousands of people do every single day.

I once had a child therapist ask me how we would react if children came up to us and said "Mom, I've got this really weird lump in my tummy". It could be horribly bad news. Life as we know it might turn upside down. We could be looking at losing a child, months in the hospital, and financial ruin. But we still have to say, "Honey, let's go have that looked at right away, you must be worried. I love you. You did the right thing to tell me."

I have to admit that I must have sat for about five minutes ruminating on my first son's disclosure. I was in shock. Oh, how I wanted it not to be true. I'm sure I was making some secret bargains with God. Oh, how I dreaded going in to the house and finding my husband. I still remember what he said. He listened to our son quietly, gave him a hug, and said, " Trust me, we'll get this worked out. You are very brave and you did nothing wrong. We'll call first thing in the morning and take you in to talk to a therapist. They'll know what to do. We'll keep you safe." That's what a good Dad does. I'm very blessed to live with one.

Good parents, loving community and church members don't just automatically discount a hurting child or adult's disclosure. That's just plain mean and evil. That is not how a healthy person reacts. Even if the abuser in question just helped clean out your garage and was as charming as all get out.

How wonderful that your kids had a man who stood by them & supported them....and from what you've shared, he still supports them.

It's sad that the vics/survivors of this case can't look for the same in their own dad.

I hope no one is blaming them for disclosing now as adults...it is terrible to be in the midst of dealing w/ one's child of yesteryear, only to be blamed for not doing something sooner.

I was in the midst of debilitating PTSD & after a year of therapy, decided to disclose to my fiance', even tho I'd read enough to know (and had always feared) that disclosing risked losing that relationship....I took the chance & what I got from him was, and I quote: "This is your fault. You could have done something about this before."

I.was.devastated. Broke up with him within days & never spoke to him again.

So with that said, my point is that it's sooooo risky to disclose. I see no reason for adults to put themselves thru the fallout of even false accusations.

It's not pretty.

 

[IWannaKnow]

http://ozarksfirst.com/content/fulltext/?cid=208731

More Evidence Collected in Child Sex Case

The Jackson County Sheriff's office believes some of the alleged assaults may be on tape.
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says more computers and video tapes seized from BMsr, this is dated today at 5:18 am....

 

[IWannaKnow]

http://www.richmond-dailynews.com/news.php?id=3879

11 new sex counts in Mohler case

Three of the six men accused of over half a decade of sex crimes will face an additional 11 total counts, based on further victim statements.

Lafeyette County Prosecutor Kellie Wingate-Ritchie filed the charges based on statements by two more children of Burrell E. Mohler Jr., 53, Independence, against Mohler Jr.; their grandfather, Burrell E. Mohler Sr., 77, Independence; and Jared L. Mohler, 48, Columbia.
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