AMBER ALERT NJ - Dulce Mariá Alavez, 5, abducted at Bridgeton City Park, Cumberland County, 16 Sept 2019 #3

[cass523]

NJ - NJ - Dulce Mariá Alavez, 5, Cumberland County, 16 Sept 2019 Media NO DISCUSSION

Media thread for her is updated.

Thank you, A lot of time put into this. Appreciated!

 

[JerzeyGirl]

Oh! No wonder I was confused. I had to go back several posts to the OP.

I would think she would be more than ok with that situation because it would take the pressure off having to raise her kids alone. Also she would have some privacy with her boyfriend.
She still has time to spend with her children as she is very close by but she doesn't have to do all the hard work that is involved in childcare. Plus, she gets to keep her social life.

Sounds ideal to me.

Or she realizes her children will have a better life with her parents. What can she provide her kids with? No money, no education, no home, no car, etc. She gave birth at 14 and her mother probably did most of the child rearing since she was a child herself. Maybe she knew taking them from the person who was truly their mother figure was cruel. IMO it's like an open adoption. She did what was best for her children instead of being selfish and letting them live in a room she rents with her boyfriend.

 

[CSIDreamer]

Oh! No wonder I was confused. I had to go back several posts to the OP.

I would think she would be more than ok with that situation because it would take the pressure off having to raise her kids alone. Also she would have some privacy with her boyfriend.
She still has time to spend with her children as she is very close by but she doesn't have to do all the hard work that is involved in childcare. Plus, she gets to keep her social life.

Sounds ideal to me.

I dunno about "ideal". That sounds a bit harsh as she has admitted to having drug and alcohol issues in the past.

 

[MsBetsy]

Or she realizes her children will have a better life with her parents. What can she provide her kids with? No money, no education, no home, no car, etc. She gave birth at 14 and her mother probably did most of the child rearing since she was a child herself. Maybe she knew taking them from the person who was truly their mother figure was cruel. IMO it's like an open adoption. She did what was best for her children instead of being selfish and letting them live in a room she rents with her boyfriend.

Yes, and I was just going to say they will always be close to her but paused because we don't know where Dulce is! I hope she will be found safe so she can come home and be with her family.

 

[MsBetsy]

I dunno about "ideal". That sounds a bit harsh as she has admitted to having drug and alcohol issues in the past.

True, but it sounds like her parents are doing the right thing and trying to teach her to be a responsible parent. She probably knows that if she gets back into that lifestyle again there will be consequences and she may risk seeing her children. Imo

 

[dotr]

Investigators remain hopeful missing 5-year-old Dulce Alavez is still alive
"Alavez Perez, who described herself as estranged from Dulce’s father, said she has spoken with him via social media since Dulce’s disappearance.

“He said we have to have faith in God that he’s going to bring her back home safe,” she previously stated.

When Dulce was born in 2014, Edgar Perez didn’t believe he was the father, Alavez Perez said this week. When he saw the child and noticed a resemblance, his feelings changed. When she was 1 or 2 years old, he expressed his intention to seek custody of the girl, Alavez Perez said, but added that he never followed through on it.

“He never took us to court,” she said.

Perez later returned to Mexico, where he intended to go to college in order to provide a better life for his daughter, Alavez Perez said, though she added that she had also been told he was deported from the United States."

 

[jjenny]

I read there was lots of video around the park. It said she got into a red van, but the owner of the van has been cleared. That's so weird. So confusing.

No, that's not accurate. They ruled out a red SUV that was seen on video going to the park and leaving. Nothing about a red van or driver of that van being cleared.

 

[jjenny]

Investigators remain hopeful missing 5-year-old Dulce Alavez is still alive
"Alavez Perez, who described herself as estranged from Dulce’s father, said she has spoken with him via social media since Dulce’s disappearance.

“He said we have to have faith in God that he’s going to bring her back home safe,” she previously stated.

When Dulce was born in 2014, Edgar Perez didn’t believe he was the father, Alavez Perez said this week. When he saw the child and noticed a resemblance, his feelings changed. When she was 1 or 2 years old, he expressed his intention to seek custody of the girl, Alavez Perez said, but added that he never followed through on it.

“He never took us to court,” she said.

Perez later returned to Mexico, where he intended to go to college in order to provide a better life for his daughter, Alavez Perez said, though she added that she had also been told he was deported from the United States."

Well, if he was deported, I hope posters stop arguing he could be a US citizen. Doesn't surprise me if he doesn't have any legal right to be in US, which would also make any custody battles really hard to win.

 

[jjenny]

They have not located the van yet, and they have not cleared anyone as far as I know. Imo

They ruled out red SUV on video coming and leaving the park a short time later.

 

[jjenny]

The “I’m ok with it part” kind of struck me...

She doesn't work or doesn't go to school. Her mother kicked her out of the house. In her situation, how would she be able to support two (and soon to be three) children? But her parents obviously allow her to visit the kids, presumably as much as she wants. What's not to be ok about?

 

[JerzeyGirl]

Dulce's mom strikes me as a victim herself. I'm not going to assume in what way but she is about to be 19 with 3 kids, she's had drug and alcohol problems, she doesn't have custody of her kids, she has an older boyfriend who she lives with by renting a room in someone's home. It screams to me that her childhood has not been pleasant for reasons I don't know.

Predators know how to pick their victims. Noemi (Dulce's mom) is being victimized all over again. I feel bad for the woman. Life has not been kind to her.

 

[Elliot_Alderson]

I dunno about "ideal". That sounds a bit harsh as she has admitted to having drug and alcohol issues in the past.

I'd say it's pretty ideal given the situation. Maybe she felt that the safest place for her children were with her parents while she worked on herself and tried to get clean and put her chemical dependencies behind her. It's definitely a more ideal situation than a single mother with drug issues who has no options other than living on the street with young children.

 

[JerzeyGirl]

It's an ideal situation for Dulce and Manuel (her brother). I'm sure the ideal situation to Noemi would be to be financially and mentally established and able to have full custody and raise her children in a loving and safe environment.

<modsnip>

 

[jjenny]

It's an ideal situation for Dulce and Manuel (her brother). I'm sure the ideal situation to Noemi would be to be financially and mentally established and able to have full custody and raise her children in a loving and safe environment.

<modsnip>

Other than Noemi herself, not sure who could/should be financially or mentally establishing her. She is an adult now. It's probably not a picnic for her parents either to be raising such young children at their age. And now one is missing.

 

[rosesfromangels]

Other than Noemi herself, not sure who could/should be financially or mentally establishing her. She is an adult now. It's probably not a picnic for her parents either to be raising such young children at their age.

Uh, well, how old are the grandparents? Perhaps they started their family at a youthful age as well. Regardless, glad they are supporting their daughter and grandchildren, especially now.

Amateur opinion and speculation

 

[JerzeyGirl]

Other than Noemi herself, not sure who could/should be financially or mentally establishing her. She is an adult now. It's probably not a picnic for her parents either to be raising such young children at their age. And now one is missing.

It should be Noemi herself establishing herself but she's not so the best situation for her kids is to be with the grandparents. It looks like the grandparents want the children too. Seems to me like grandma was more of a mother to the kids since Noemi was just a kid herself.

Noemi strikes me as having a lot of baggage in her life. I don't think she hurt her daughter though.

I think predators pick their victims wisely. I remember articles on how sexual predators pick children who come from single mother homes, have no fathers involved, etc. If Dulce was watched by someone they may have taken so much into account.

 

[TedERoosevelt]

Let us hope that the teacher meant that some children aren’t “helicoptered” over and are taught to be self sufficient at a young age.

If this was not her intent, she shouldn’t be teaching children, regardless of their origin.

Amateur opinion and speculation

Just throwing this out there- I am a fairly new teacher- only 4 years of teaching and graduated in 2015 so I don't pretend to know everything but do feel like I have some background in current education teachings.

In my college class about teaching ESOL and students of other cultures (taken ~2014), we were actually taught that other cultures (specifically African American and Latin) tend to parent differently and have a more hands-off approach. The kids tend to be more street saavy and have different skills that come with that. As teachers, we were told to respect this and not judge if you saw parents of other cultures parenting differently (and also how to spot child abuse versus cultural norms). The class sought to make us culturally aware and brought in several people from different cultures.

I also honestly thought when I heard about Dulce playing "alone" with her brother- "Oh this is a common thing in Latino communities. I don't know why people are hounding her about this" and thought that from the knowledge of that class.

The above comment from me could be taken the same way as the teacher who is at risk of losing her job (and career. Teachers don't bounce back from things like this) and I honestly meant it from a perspective of "yeah, this is normal. What of it!" and from a place of hopeful understanding of other cultures. I never meant malice or hatred toward their culture.

I've taught inner-city kids in Philly who had mothers like Dulce and rich kids/celebrities at a private school in Northern NJ. Hands-on and hands-off parents love their children the same and are all doing their best. I really hope this teacher's comment is being misconstrued.

 

[MsBetsy]

They ruled out red SUV on video coming and leaving the park a short time later.

That is correct. It has been repeated many times.

 

[rosesfromangels]

Dulce's mom strikes me as a victim herself. I'm not going to assume in what way but she is about to be 19 with 3 kids, she's had drug and alcohol problems, she doesn't have custody of her kids, she has an older boyfriend who she lives with by renting a room in someone's home. It screams to me that her childhood has not been pleasant for reasons I don't know.

Predators know how to pick their victims. Noemi (Dulce's mom) is being victimized all over again. I feel bad for the woman. Life has not been kind to her.

Dulce’s Mom is an excellent candidate for this great program. I hope once Dulce is found and reunited, she might consider this option. It could change the course of her life:
https://www.benefits.gov/benefit/5931

Amateur opinion and speculation

 

[jjenny]

Can we please drop this red SUV / van thing, it's not relevant and hasn't been for days now.

The van isn't relevant? How so? As far as I know authorities are still saying she could have been abducted by a man in orange sneakers, red pants and black shirt who had a red van with a sliding door and tinted windows. When did that become irrelevant?