SIDEBAR #17- Arias/Alexander forum

[Mollyandme]

Hi Mollyandme, I've been reading this topic with interest b/c I currently have one son, 6 years old, and well I'm not gettin' any younger, so I need to think about having other kids if I want to. Your situation is already very ideal, so you shouldn't worry about it too much...you already, with God's grace, have 2children and you and your husband seem to have the same ideas of the family you want. My problem is that my husband, unfortunately, apparently did not have a good experience growing up in terms of his relationship with his brothers, and so after our son he is very hesitant to have another child. I think he is kind of scared that if our son has siblings, he'll have a "miserable" childhood like my husband did. (I personally think that was just b/c of my husband's own issues, not anything to do with his siblings...for example, feeling like his mom gave them more attention, didn't appreciate him enough, loved his older brother more, etc.). I, on the other hand, have always dreamed of having 3. Guess dreams don't always work out...real life gets in the way and all that.

So I guess what I'm saying is that, don't worry, everything will work out...you already have big obstacles out of the way, such as your husband is also in agreement to have more kids. You guys also seem to have your finances in order and have discussed what would happen if you stay home longer and with more kids. So let's say you have one more, then you can see after that whether or not you guys want more kids. I would suggest having your third pretty soon after the second, then you can send them off to school with only small gaps in between, allowing you to do other things. Also if you want 4 then definately have the 3rd soon. Good luck!!

thanks for your reply, i reallly appreciate it! IMO and I guess I'm biased because I believe kids should have a sibling if possible (i hope i dont offend anyone by saying that), I think you should have a second. I think part of the reason I feel this way is because my husband is an only child and he always tells me how much he hated it (his parents also are divorced so I'm sure that is part of his anger towards it as well), but now, as an adult, I worry about when they get older (they are both in their early 50's now so they are young), but when they do get older, I worry if god forbid one of them gets sick or something it's all on him. My parents each come from 4 sibling families and I knwo when my dads parents were sick it was so much easier and in general just easier. Plus, my kids won't have any first cousins from my husbands side and that upsets him. Maybe these are all petty things but I feel like in general, women know when they are "done" having children, and if you still have an ache in your heart for another baby, you should talk to your husband about it again. There's a 5 year gap between me and youngest sibling and we get along great! Just went on a road trip together two weeks ago with my little ones, it was also fun for me, being a little older, to kinda watch her grow up. You seem to have a great head on your shoulders and I think now, since your oldest is in school, would be a great time to have a baby (i will warn you, going from 1 to 2 makes your head spin like crazy, but at least your oldest can help!)

 

[aa9511]

Mollyandme - thanks....that's so sweet and also helpful. I guess your husband and my husband had very different experiences growing up! I feel like my husband sometimes wished he was an only child! But I don't think he realizes, like you said, if he didn't have any siblings, all the responsibility would be on him. That's a really good point. Right now his older brother usually takes control when something happens in the family, so he doesn't have to worry about it! I definately want one more, so you're right, I should discuss with my husband again.

Zuri - lol...oh yeah, forgot about school loans and all that...sorry about that. Also, I realize that not all the specialities are equal in terms of pay, and some get paid a lot more than others. But relatively, like you said, I think they are more secure than a lot of others. Also, I didn't mean to offend with the wife or nanny thing...it's not just doctors, I should have just said men in general. But especially men who are very busy with their jobs...that's just basic math that if they have to be in the office/at work for a certain number of hours during the day, then by necessity someone else is taking care of the kids during that time. And even when they do come home, usually the caretaker...whoever that is...would have done mostly all the work, so they get to do the fun stuff like play with the kids. Realize not all are like that, but generally speaking. JMO, MOO, and all that!

 

[Zuri]

Mollyandme - thanks....that's so sweet and also helpful. I guess your husband and my husband had very different experiences growing up! I feel like my husband sometimes wished he was an only child! But I don't think he realizes, like you said, if he didn't have any siblings, all the responsibility would be on him. That's a really good point. Right now his older brother usually takes control when something happens in the family, so he doesn't have to worry about it! I definately want one more, so you're right, I should discuss with my husband again.

Zuri - lol...oh yeah, forgot about school loans and all that...sorry about that. Also, I realize that not all the specialities are equal in terms of pay, and some get paid a lot more than others. But relatively, like you said, I think they are more secure than a lot of others. Also, I didn't mean to offend with the wife or nanny thing...it's not just doctors, I should have just said men in general. But especially men who are very busy with their jobs...that's just basic math that if they have to be in the office/at work for a certain number of hours during the day, then by necessity someone else is taking care of the kids during that time. And even when they do come home, usually the caretaker...whoever that is...would have done mostly all the work, so they get to do the fun stuff like play with the kids. Realize not all are like that, but generally speaking. JMO, MOO, and all that!

No worries! I knew what you meant. You would be shocked at the costs of running a practice and the reimbursement rates. When you go to the store and buy a gallon of milk and they charge $4.00, you are expected to pay the store $4. Imagine if you only paid $1, the store would have to eat the $3, yet still keep the lights on, pay employees, etc. That is kinda where we are in medicine. Dentists and vets are the ones making the money! I wish my husband was a specialist sometimes as their reimbursement rates are higher, but my husband loves what he does and is excellent at it. How many of us can say we love what we do. We don't live large, rarely take a vacation, but we are happy. I am sure if I was less expensive, we would be joyous! :floorlaugh:

 

[Zuri]

I have a dilemma. I am allergic to the kitten. My eyes are swollen and red, almost blistered. What can I do? TIA

 

[Cherry]

I logged in to see what's new with the family and the trial. There are Pages of nothing about the trial. I must be on the wrong thread, ack.

 

[Mollyandme]

I logged in to see what's new with the family and the trial. There are Pages of nothing about the trial. I must be on the wrong thread, ack.

yea we get a little side tracked in this thread but it is afterall, the sidebar thread. However, when something does happen it is always posted. Unfortunately its been more and more delays by the defense its very frustrating!! i wish there was more of the trial and case to talk about but right now it seems like a waiting game until JSS sets the date for the re trial, then hopefully we will get a new thread with all that info in it

 

[m1279]

I have a dilemma. I am allergic to the kitten. My eyes are swollen and red, almost blistered. What can I do? TIA

Oh no! You poor thing. I wish I had some advice. Hopefully there's something you can take so the kitty doesn't affect you!

 

[Sweetiemom]

I have a dilemma. I am allergic to the kitten. My eyes are swollen and red, almost blistered. What can I do? TIA

Have you tried Benadryl? An antihistamine would definitely help!

 

[MeeBee]

********JODI ARIAS TRIAL UPDATE********

FOR THOSE THAY MAY HAVE MISSED IT!!

Judge Stephens has denied a motion by defense attorneys to set aside the Arizona jury’s determination that Jodi Arias killed Travis Alexander in an “especially cruel” manner, a finding that made her eligible for the death penalty.


From the Joey Jackson fan page.

 

[Zuri]

I logged in to see what's new with the family and the trial. There are Pages of nothing about the trial. I must be on the wrong thread, ack.

This is the Sidebar thread. I don't know if an Arias thread is open. HTH. And btw, it is NOT nothing.

 

[Bernina]

********JODI ARIAS TRIAL UPDATE********

FOR THOSE THAY MAY HAVE MISSED IT!!

Judge Stephens has denied a motion by defense attorneys to set aside the Arizona jury’s determination that Jodi Arias killed Travis Alexander in an “especially cruel” manner, a finding that made her eligible for the death penalty.


From the Joey Jackson fan page.

http://www.kpho.com/story/23137689/arias-judge-denies-motion-to-vacate-death-option

:rockon: Onward, Juanettes! Justice! :rockon:

 

[josie1986]

i wonder what nurmi and wilmotts next tactic is to try and somehow delay the inevitable......DENIED :denied:

 

[m1279]

This is the Sidebar thread. I don't know if an Arias thread is open. HTH. And btw, it is NOT nothing.

I wish I could "thank" this more than once.

Btw...leaving work early and going to urgent care. I cannot breathe today. I'll try to log on tonight and give you an update I hope you found something to relieve the allergies!

 

[daisymae]

I wish I could "thank" this more than once.

Btw...leaving work early and going to urgent care. I cannot breathe today. I'll try to log on tonight and give you an update I hope you found something to relieve the allergies!

When are you going to start listening to us, M? We are your surrogate moms and know what's best for you, so respect your other mothers and listen to us! Your dad would prefer to help you out than to have you damage your lungs that might last a lifetime. In our minds we have to take care of our youngins and you're one of them! So there!!

 

[Kensie]

Zuri, sorry about your allergies.

M, glad you are going to the doctor. I wish I had gone soooner.

I had a bad day at work.

 

[Zuri]

Zuri, sorry about your allergies.

M, glad you are going to the doctor. I wish I had gone soooner.

I had a bad day at work.

Unleash the Mamas!
What happened at work? Problems with your supervisor again? Please share!

 

[Kensie]

Unleash the Mamas!
What happened at work? Problems with your supervisor again? Please share!

I have never had problems with my supervisor. Just dealing with incompetent people drives me INSANE.
It was really just a hectic and stressful day. I cannot believe that people that have been doing basically the same job for years cannot answer simple questions (that they should know) and pass them off to others.

I guess it really wasn't that bad - just stressful and under some pressure.

The good part is that it is quitting time!!!!!

 

[Kensie]

I get pleasure from thinking about JA being locked up in her hole.

 

[daisymae]

Zuri, sorry about your allergies.

M, glad you are going to the doctor. I wish I had gone soooner.

I had a bad day at work.

Momma Daisy is here. I think I'm older than you!

 

[Bernina]

Everyone is tripping on some bad ju-ju! :scared:

And my daily thread haunt just got put on "Lock Down" :banghead:
I really like it here cause we all get along so well, very polite, helpful, generously funny, good tunes/food/spirits, I can be AWOL for a few days, a week, :facepalm: (guilty) come back and feel right at home.

On the newest from Judge Stevens...I think we won't see the end of this STARTING until January.......:stormingmad:

Have to concede to the peeps who are predicting such. The CMJA will find some way to delay so she isn't caught having a bad hair day. (Sorry about the rhymin' words!) :floorlaugh:

My bad ju-ju? BF is going into the VA Hospital to get tested for Alzheimer's. The SLUM test. He's beyond the regular "depression forgetfulness". So, waiting for the powers that be to line up a date. In the meantime, I wait. Loose a s***load of sleep, sit in front of the computer, and don't EVEN want to think about what the future is going to be. If I project even the smallest inkling of the outcome, I will probably loose my mind.
Stuck in "Sucksville" at the moment, but...............it is what it is.

It could be worse, I could be:jail:

:floorlaugh: