Student suspended for sexual harassment after hugging teacher

[oyeyemi808]

I am going to say this knowing some will think I am being thoughtless and cold, but if the kid as been in trouble before, including lengthy suspensions, etc... then this suspension certainly isn't the sole thing threatening his "college ambition" and I have to question whether he would even make it through college.....

Please elaborate


Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

 

[Linda7NJ]

The female teacher will benefit because she no longer has to be groped against her will OR worry about it turning into accusations against HER.

"Groped" ? Seriously?
It was a hug.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

 

[Linda7NJ]

"Surveillance video captured the hug in question, showing Sam placing his arms around the teacher and giving her a hug. The teacher then pushes him away.
McNair told "Piers Morgan Live" that he had hugged that teacher at Duluth High School before.
"Four or five times," he said. "I hug all my teachers. It's to show appreciation for what they do for me."
He denied that the teacher had told him before to not hug her again. He also said that his lips and cheeks definitely didn't touched the teacher's neck, as is alleged in a discipline report obtained by CNN affiliate WGCL."

http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/18/us/georgia-hugging-student-suspended/

She did not want him to hug her. She told him before not to. He kissed the back of her neck.

Let me ask you what is it about this kid that you refuse to give him the benefit of the doubt? Why do you believe her version ?




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

 

[Linda7NJ]

You know what I find most telling? It is obvious that she is pushing him off and he just walks away like he does not care.

If I hugged someone and they pushed me off at the end I would have apologized..

I also noticed she didn't say anything at all to him either. Why should I believe she EVER said anything about not hugging previously?

This wasn't in a closet or secluded area, this was right out in the open. Looks like a simple well intentioned hug that wasn't well recieved.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

 

[Hejlena]

She said his lips and cheek brushed her neck.

Kiss? I believe that's mis characterization


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

??? There is no one in my life, besides my husband or significant other, whose "lips and cheek" should "brush my neck" in a hug initiated from behind, mischaracterization or not.

Whether or not the school was correct in applying the discipline they did is not really the biggest issue for me.

The biggest issues for me are:

this is a 17 year-old child who should have been taught sexual/physical boundaries a long long time ago,

The alarming number of apologists for this clear boundary violation

 

[Yoda]

Let me ask you what is it about this kid that you refuse to give him the benefit of the doubt? Why do you believe her version ?




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

He is old enough to know about personal space. He said in an interview that He thought she needed a hug. As caring and considerate as that is, it is her body. Now is a perfect time for him to learn that asking permission before any physical contact is wise and respectful. Jmo

 

[al66pine]

Short version​

One: Student intentionally made hug-contact w this teacher.
plus
Two: Per disc. report, this teacher had warned him about hugging.

Equals
Three: suspension.

Even if student did not know hug was of a 'provoking nature' the first time he did it to this teacher,
he should have known after the teacher's warnings, and should have refrained from hugging this teacher.


=====================================================
Long version
One

​

"Intentional Physical Contact with a Teacher,
Bus Driver, or Other School Employee
​

​

​

Any student who intentionally makes physical contact of a
threatening or provoking nature with a teacher, bus driver, school
official, or other school employee shall be suspended and brought
before a disciplinary hearing.
The minimum penalty for a student found in violation of Rule
4BC shall be suspension from public school until the end of the
school year. Any hearing finding a student in violation of Rule 4BC
may impose a more severe penalty at its discretion. This minimum
penalty shall not be applied in conflict with federal law.
Any student found in violation of Rule 4BI shall be expelled
from the public school system for the remainder of his or her eligibility​

to attend public school." BBM From link to school handbook
http://publish.gwinnett.k12.ga.us/gcps/wcm/connect/ea1317dc-23d3-4fdf-8dd2-6dd8529d0086/2013-14-MS-HS-StudentParent-Handbook-ENG_FINAL.pdf?MOD=AJPERES

Two:
According to a discipline report obtained by WGCL, the teacher said Sam'slips and cheeks touched her neck and that she had warned Sam about hugging in the past. BBM
from the cnn link of OP

JM2cts. :seeya:

 

[Leilei]

??? There is no one in my life, besides my husband or significant other, whose "lips and cheek" should "brush my neck" in a hug initiated from behind, mischaracterization or not.

Whether or not the school was correct in applying the discipline they did is not really the biggest issue for me.

The biggest issues for me are:

this is a 17 year-old child who should have been taught sexual/physical boundaries a long long time ago,

The alarming number of apologists for this clear boundary violation

Yep. If this situation were reversed, the teacher giving the student that kind of hug, folks would be calling for a big reprimand, if not termination. Sam may have had the most innocent of intentions, BUT, he crossed the personal space line with his teacher, reportedly more than once with more than one teacher. If she or other teachers had just ignored it, and it had escalated, we'd have a much worse problem to discuss. I'm not saying that it would have escalated, I'm just saying "if".

IMO.

 

[Tawny]

What reason would the teacher have to lie about having told him not to hug her before?

 

[iamnotagolem]

First off, I think a year long suspension is too much. The kid needs help, he needs to learn what is appropriate and what isn't.

Second, if you want to hug someone you approach them from the front, if he thought she looked like she needed a hug why not first say "you look like you could use a hug"? If you want to hug someone who you are not familiar with enough to know if it is okay, you should ask first.

Third, the lips "brushing" her neck is completely inappropriate. As far as I'm concerned that is a kiss.

 

[Fairy1]

First off, I think a year long suspension is too much. The kid needs help, he needs to learn what is appropriate and what isn't.

Second, if you want to hug someone you approach them from the front, if he thought she looked like she needed a hug why not first say "you look like you could use a hug"? If you want to hug someone who you are not familiar with enough to know if it is okay, you should ask first.

Third, the lips "brushing" her neck is completely inappropriate. As far as I'm concerned that is a kiss.

I think a year seems a bit much, too. However, I don't believe we know everything that was taken into consideration as far as the suspension decision is concerned.

I'm not generally a huge supporter of "zero tolerance" policies and I sometimes believe we have lost all common sense in situations like this. That said, we don't know everything here and I still think it's inappropriate for teachers and students to be hugging - regardless of who initiates it or under what circumstances.

 

[hambirg]

Geeze! Not ONE person has addressed my question! If this was a girl hugger would you feel the same way and would you think a one year suspension was justified?

I have worked in education for 20+ years. This hug happened in the cafeteria. Teachers do not supervise lunch. Paras do. This "teacher" I suspect is really a para, with little to no education outside of a high school diploma or a GED.

Again, I will agree that any person. .. man, woman, adult, child has the right to define their personal boundaries. I'm not arguing that.

However, at what point do we criminalize normal behavior and healthy emotional expression? Good gawd! He did not slap her *ss, grab her t*ts, or pin her in a corner and declare he was going to r*pe her. He did not proclaim that he wanted to tap her *ss, or relentlessly pursue her and try to get her number. It was a friggin hug that was not well received! And IMHO was very ambiguous with regards to it's acceptance. This was as much the teacher's failure as the student's!

I have serious fears about what we are doing to our boys. . and our own sons. . . in this society. There is a well renowned psychologist named William Pollack. He devoted his life to studying boys. Google him and read his work. . . I beg you!!!!!

So, again, I ask you, if the hugger was a girl, how would you feel? Boys have the same emotional needs as girls. When we sexualize everything they do and shame them for it, we are part of the problem! Read the research! Boys feel isolated and alone. The are depressed and suicidal. We shouldn't be surprised at all when our young sons shoot up schools.

God help us!!!

<modsnip>

 

[Linda7NJ]

What reason would the teacher have to lie about having told him not to hug her before?

Oh because teachers are never inappropriate with students....oh wait... Yes they are!
Because teachers never lie?... Oh wait... Yes they do!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

 

[Fairy1]

Geeze! Not ONE person has addressed my question! If this was a girl hugger would you feel the same way and would you think a one year suspension was justified?

I have worked in education for 20+ years. This hug happened in the cafeteria. Teachers do not supervise lunch. Paras do. This "teacher" I suspect is really a para, with little to no education outside of a high school diploma or a GED.

Again, I will agree that any person. .. man, woman, adult, child has the right to define their personal boundaries. I'm not arguing that.

However, at what point do we criminalize normal behavior and healthy emotional expression? Good gawd! He did not slap her *ss, grab her t*ts, or pin her in a corner and declare he was going to r*pe her . He did not proclaim that he wanted to tap her *ss, or relentlessly pursue her and try to get her number. It was a friggin hug that was not well received! And IMHO was very ambiguous with regards to it's acceptance. This was as much the teacher's failure as the student's!

I have serious fears about what we are doing to our boys. . and our own sons. . . in this society. There is a well renowned psychologist named William Pollack. He devoted his life to studying boys. Google him and read his work. . . I beg you!!!!!

So, again, I ask you, if the hugger was a girl, how would you feel? Boys have the same emotional needs as girls. When we sexualize everything they do and shame them for it, we are part of the problem! Read the research! Boys feel isolated and alone. The are depressed and suicidal. We shouldn't be surprised at all when our young sons shoot up schools.

God help us!!!

I don't believe it's a simple matter of male/female contact in this case. I believe there is a reason this boy was suspended for a year - we just don't know exactly what it is.

IMO - teachers and students shouldn't be hugging. Period.

 

[Hejlena]

Geeze! Not ONE person has addressed my question! If this was a girl hugger would you feel the same way and would you think a one year suspension was justified?

I have worked in education for 20+ years. This hug happened in the cafeteria. Teachers do not supervise lunch. Paras do. This "teacher" I suspect is really a para, with little to no education outside of a high school diploma or a GED.

Again, I will agree that any person. .. man, woman, adult, child has the right to define their personal boundaries. I'm not arguing that.

However, at what point do we criminalize normal behavior and healthy emotional expression? Good gawd! He did not slap her *ss, grab her t*ts, or pin her in a corner and declare he was going to r*pe her . He did not proclaim that he wanted to tap her *ss, or relentlessly pursue her and try to get her number. It was a friggin hug that was not well received! And IMHO was very ambiguous with regards to it's acceptance. This was as much the teacher's failure as the student's!

I have serious fears about what we are doing to our boys. . and our own sons. . . in this society. There is a well renowned psychologist named William Pollack. He devoted his life to studying boys. Google him and read his work. . . I beg you!!!!!

So, again, I ask you, if the hugger was a girl, how would you feel? Boys have the same emotional needs as girls. When we sexualize everything they do and shame them for it, we are part of the problem! Read the research! Boys feel isolated and alone. The are depressed and suicidal. We shouldn't be surprised at all when our young sons shoot up schools.

God help us!!!

How does this woman being "only a para" make her personal boundaries fluid?

This isn't a boys will be boys issue. This isn't a six year old kissing a playmate on the cheek. This is a seventeen year old boy who, based on the information given, is repeatedly attempting to violate a boundary that has been clearly outlined for him.

And if it were a female student repeatedly hugging a teacher after being asked not to do so? Well I don't know but I'm guessing the disciplinary policy covers both genders.

Finally, your criteria for the words that need to be said or the actions perpetrated on a person before they are to be considered victims of unwanted physical touching are really quite frightening.

Signed, only a para

 

[Tawny]

I would feel the same way if the hugger were a girl. Boundaries were crossed, innocent hug or not. She has the right to decide who touches her and when. Period.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Fairy1]

How does this woman being "only a para" make her personal boundaries fluid?

This isn't a boys will be boys issue. This isn't a six year old kissing a playmate on the cheek. This is a seventeen year old boy who, based on the information given, is repeatedly attempting to violate a boundary that has been clearly outlined for him.

And if it were a female student repeatedly hugging a teacher after being asked not to do so? Well I don't know but I'm guessing the disciplinary policy covers both genders.

Finally, your criteria for the words that need to be said or the actions perpetrated on a person before they are to be considered victims of unwanted physical touching are really quite frightening.

Signed, only a para

I agree. But what, exactly, is a "para?"

 

[Minette]

Hmm. Although this happened in a school in the same county where I'm a resident, I really only started digging into this incident. I will say that the school handbook is clear about consequences, and that the video does show that there was unwanted physical contact initiated by the student towards the teacher. I too, am a hugger, but unless you KNOW the person you are going to hug welcomes your touch or you give indication that you would like to hug them and they indicate acceptance, you just don't do it. I've said to people, you look like you could use a hug, is it OK if I give you one? And once or twice people have said no, they just aren't comfortable with it (one person said she never likes to be hugged by *anyone*) and you know what? Sure it was a little uncomfortable for me for a moment but at the same time forcing unwanted physical contact on someone would make me feel a lot worse. Lots of us here on WS understand why having dominion over our own bodies is so important, and why a hug may not be 'just a hug' if it is a contact you don't want--it is a way of saying 'your feelings and wishes do not matter to me and I am going to do exactly what I want to do in regards to touching your body.' Think about that for a moment.

I think this case has only garnered the attention it has because of the other case with the 6 year old boy being suspended for 'sexual harassment' for giving unwanted kisses to a little girl. But you know what, Sam is not a 6 year old boy, and he doesn't get to make the rules about what kind of physical contact another person has to accept from him.

And by the way, yes, if the hugger was a girl with the same disciplinary record as Sam and the teacher was a man (or a woman) who did not want the hug and pushed the girl away and had previously stated that he or she did not want the physical contact, then yes, I would support the same punishment.

 

[Hejlena]

I agree. But what, exactly, is a "para?"

A paraprofessional can have many roles within a school-most of which involve directly supporting students academically or monitoring behavior. A very small part of our day is spent supervising lunch and recess.

 

[Fairy1]

A paraprofessional can have many roles within a school-most of which involve directly supporting students academically or monitoring behavior. A very small part of our day is spent supervising lunch and recess.

Thank you. So, are these "paraprofessionals" generally considered to be less than human and unable to determine whether they welcome an unwanted "hug" from another?