Student suspended for sexual harassment after hugging teacher

[Linda7NJ]

And how old was your son when that happened? And you were an adult when you were comforted by the, I assume, adult principle?

Hugs are great, I agree. But there is an appropriate time and a place.

What difference does age make? Grief is not lessened by age.
The need for human touch is a biological imperative. Human beings need to be touched...and not just in a sexual way.

There are countless studies on the subject. I'm not going to even begin to start linking them, but...

Here's a bit from an article ...

How does this relate to social media and the workplace? A large majority of the connection among young people today is done through social digital media, rather than real physical contact. In addition, in response to compliance and legal issues, both schools and workplaces have instituted clear restrictions over physical contact.

In our desire to have a politically correct and safe social environment, or an environment of instant communication, have we lost sight of the most important aspect of human development and cultur—physical touch?
http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201010/why-have-we-lost-the-need-physical-touch

More at the link above.



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[Linda7NJ]

Couldn't resist... Here's a phenomenal article on the subject

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/hands_on_research

COMPASSION...

Is that really what you want erased from young peoples environments and minds?




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[Fairy1]

I never argued that it wasn't inappropriate, or that the teacher wasn't entitled to her boundaries. BUT please show me the research that shows that a students need for physical validation is not warranted or needed.

Look. . .someone could work in an orphanage where it is recommended that staff have no physical contact with the children. Maybe there have been staff that have overstepped boundaries in the past. Any physical contact could be deemed inappropriate. But please show me ANY research that this "no contact" policy is really in the best interest of the children. We know it's not.

When you devote your life to the education of children, part of that is knowing that every child is different. Their needs are different. If a child oversteps their bounds, it is on you, as a fully educated adult, to deal with it. Sorry, a teacher has full authority over a child, and to behave as if they are somehow a helpless victim that has no other choice but to severely impact as child's life. . .. sorry . . ..maybe they should go seek out another type of employment. Clearly teaching and working with children is not for them.

I am considering the circumstances in THIS CASE ONLY. That is what we're discussing here. Solving the larger issue is not under discussion HERE right now. Do you personally know this boy? This teacher?

 

[Linda7NJ]

I am considering the circumstances in THIS CASE ONLY. That is what we're discussing here. Solving the larger issue is not under discussion HERE right now. Do you personally know this boy? This teacher?

In this case, IMO I would assume no one here knows either one.
I based my opinion on the evidence we have.

This does not appear to be, in anyway, a sexual hug. it appears to be exactly what the boy said it was. An innocent hug the wasn't appreciated or well received.

The year suspension seems ridiculous,



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[Snoods]

I always raise an eyebrow when people go to the media with this kind of thing.

I would usually agree with you, but in this case to me it signifies that there hadn't been any kind of previous disciplinary action taken against the boy for such actions. Why go to the press if they knew it could easily be disproved with school records? To me it seems as if the mom is taking the only route that she thinks can help her son at this point.

I'll be interested in seeing how this plays out.

 

[jjenny]

[bbm]

um, because it's my space that someone else is invading ... it's my body and my right to set the boundaries for access to my space/body

Exactly.

 

[sorrell skye]

BBM. Again, are they unable to determine whether they want someone to initiate physical contact or not?

Thank you for asking this question. I, too, was wondering what in the world a person's educational level has to do with their right to set & defend their own boundaries regarding being touched.

As far as I'm concerned, no one has the right to touch anyone without that person's consent.

Hopefully, this young man is learning a hard lesson and will correct his behavior before he enters the adult workforce, where this kind of behavior can land him in court as a defendant in a sexual harassment lawsuit.

 

[Fairy1]

In this case, IMO I would assume no one here knows either one.
I based my opinion on the evidence we have.

This does not appear to be, in anyway, a sexual hug. it appears to be exactly what the boy said it was. An innocent hug the wasn't appreciated or well received.

The year suspension seems ridiculous,



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I agree that the suspension seems over the top. That said, we don't know why it was so severe. I'm thinking there is a reason.

 

[sorrell skye]

He claims he hugs his teachers as a way to show his appreciation.

IMO, a sincere "thank you" would suffice.

 

[Fairy1]

I would usually agree with you, but in this case to me it signifies that there hadn't been any kind of previous disciplinary action taken against the boy for such actions. Why go to the press if they knew it could easily be disproved with school records? To me it seems as if the mom is taking the only route that she thinks can help her son at this point.

I'll be interested in seeing how this plays out.

Me too. But in this case - because it is ongoing - previous offenses have been deemed off limits. We don't know the reasons for his previous suspensions.

 

[LadyL]

what did he say in the video? "I hug all my teachers." do I have that quote right?

his mother needs to tell him that just because he's always done it a certain way doesn't make it right or acceptable

a professional distance should always be maintained between a teacher and a student - he can get his hugs from his family and friends and I presume his teachers can get their affection/comfort outside of work as well

 

[Passin' Me By]

The term "hug" here is completely misapplied; a hug connotes warmth and willingness of both parties, and permission given - nothing about this unwelcome embrace (clutch, grasp, manhandling) could be called a hug.

Totally agree with you on this "hug" term wfgodot. The teacher looked like she was almost at her "fight or flight" response when she pushed SM off her. Obviously, Mr. McNair needs to stop with the unwarranted "hugs" and familiarize himself with the term "battery". IMO, a crime was committed and the punishment should be sexual harassment education for Sam. He obviously doesn't understand how his actions are interpreted.

 

[SwampMama]

In all of my years teaching, ( I have a college BA in Elementary Education and was fully certified) I DID lunch duty. Every day! We did not have the luxury of having a "para" to do ANYTHING for us. There was no such person in our schools. The teachers did it all.

I suspect there is more to this story but the school is bound by privacy laws and legalities with what they can say whereas the parents have NO such restrictions and are free to say whatever they want.

 

[hambirg]

Maybe you should watch it again. I see both her hands in front of her when he starts to hug her.

Uh. . no.

Stop the video at exactly :30. My old computer won't take screen shots, but if any one here feels so inclined to do that at :30 and post, maybe we can understand what I'm talking about. TIA

 

[hambirg]

I am considering the circumstances in THIS CASE ONLY. That is what we're discussing here. Solving the larger issue is not under discussion HERE right now. Do you personally know this boy? This teacher?

Do you? I see a plethora of assumptions being made about this boy in this thread. I didn't assume that anyone here knows him personally. . . .yet I keep hearing that he has had numerous, significant behavioral issues. Nope I don't know him. . . i don't think anyone here is qualified to make those assumptions. You?

 

[Snoods]

Me too. But in this case - because it is ongoing - previous offenses have been deemed off limits. We don't know the reasons for his previous suspensions.

I hear what you're saying, but I wasn't talking about the previous suspensions. What I meant was if he had previously been accused of hugging the teacher, and the mom had been notified of it, it wouldn't make sense for her to go to the press and deny it. Maybe I'm being naive, but I want proof before I make up my mind. I'm not automatically going to believe the teacher or Sam at this point. I'm just going on what I think the video shows. I also realize that to many of you the video shows the exact opposite of what I think it shows!

If it were just one awkward hug I think the punishment is too severe. If, in fact, he was warned repeatedly about the hugging then my opinion would change.

I hope my response makes sense, sometimes what is in my head doesn't always come out smoothly in my typed words!

 

[Linda7NJ]

I watched the video again. I don't believe his lips touched her neck.

The case could be argued she was fine with it until she realized the woman in the foreground was present.

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[Fairy1]

I hear what you're saying, but I wasn't talking about the previous suspensions. What I meant was if he had previously been accused of hugging the teacher, and the mom had been notified of it, it wouldn't make sense for her to go to the press and deny it. Maybe I'm being naive, but I want proof before I make up my mind. I'm not automatically going to believe the teacher or Sam at this point. I'm just going on what I think the video shows. I also realize that to many of you the video shows the exact opposite of what I think it shows!

If it were just one awkward hug I think the punishment is too severe. If, in fact, he was warned repeatedly about the hugging then my opinion would change.

I hope my response makes sense, sometimes what is in my head doesn't always come out smoothly in my typed words!

Them going to the press makes no more sense than the school suspending him for a year based on this one incident. That's why I don't believe we know all there is to know.

 

[Plumeria5]

As a teacher of over 20 years I would just like to interject my feelings on this very controversial subject. My last 2 years of teaching were in an inner city middle school. I was warned this was a rough school but I was up for the challenge. Students brought razorblades to school, threw chairs and staplers. A few years prior one of the students shot an ice cream man in front of the school because he wouldn't give him a free ice cream cone. A year suspension for a hug? Even if his lips touched the teacher's neck, intentional or not, this is extreme. After all of the senseless murders we continually see on WS, I could only wish there were more hugs in this world. I will discreetly leave before the :bigfight:

 

[Snoods]

Them going to the press makes no more sense than the school suspending him for a year based on this one incident. That's why I don't believe we know all there is to know.

I agree with you about that, that is what has me scratching my head like a chimpanzee at this point. Who is up for a school break-in with me to check out the records? :giggle: