You're awesome - (I'm sorry - I didn't even see your sig line until after I posted - you're truly an inspiration). No one could understand why I 'let' him do what he did - I WAS strong, competent, healthy... there was only one thing that I could not discard, and he knew it. My children. Were it not for them I'd have walked away YEARS ago - and never looked back. Oddly enough, we were 'partying buddies' - I got healthy, he did not. That threatened him and I never knew such a positive change could turn out so horribly! heh.
His drunken rages were the worst - ugh. I was told to move too by the Chief. He said it'll never stop until I did. I did move - because after 40K on lawyers I was broke and had one friend offer me a place to stay. It didn't stop him. The more perceived loss of control the worse he got. It DOES get worse when you leave... and if you create distance - made him seethe. (shudder)... again - something I (and others) understand with JA - you do NOT reject people like this... not without paying the very steep price. If they have you by the short hairs - which in my case were/are my kids. Damn that ldiot.
The happy part of it - almost to the MINUTE my eldest turned 18, she came to live with me. My youngest is planning to do the same. I only hope I have a place for her (my housemate - love of my life - wants a partner and I struggle but working on it!)
My daughters - despite the horrific things they were told about me, they knew innately that it didn't fit at all.

The happier part - they're both doing really well - despite everything.
Bless you for what you've gone through and helped others get through... have a good night...