I am an older white woman also and I could be Sandra Bland. That LE officer just could have told her why she needed to put that cigarette out. Frankly, I would have asked him why I needed to put my cigarette out in my own car. Shortly after I moved back to Texas I was pulled over and I asked the LE person why. He was nice and explained that my licence plate bulb had burned out. (I did not even know my plate had a light bulb). I told him I would fix it and he let me be on my way. If he had told me to get out of the car I would have been afraid I was about to be arrested.
When my son was a teenager (Middle 1990's) he was arrested as a suspect in a motel robbery. He was walking home, had on the baggy pants on. My husband and I went down to the police dept. and they were closed. I was beside myself and knocked on their door, or rang the bell, cannot remember which, and nobody answered. I then yelled "My son is in there! Open the door!" And a very nice officer did. Sat down with us, explained everything. Thank goodness I was not shot. The next day my son was released. The motel clerk was not so sure what she saw after all and back then tons of teens were wearing baggy pants.
Looking back, the stupidest thing I have ever done when in comes to LE happened when I was 18 in El Paso. There was LE flashing his lights up on my car and I did not pull over. Finally, I pulled over. I was asked why I did not pull over when I saw him flashing his lights and I said I was not speeding and was doing nothing wrong. DUMB ME. Come to find out, my paper licence, (new car, no metal plates back then) had fallen off of my back window. I felt so stupid. The officer was really nice and I did not get a ticket. Just put the paper licence back up in the back window.
Anyway, my point is there are good LE officers out there and the one that arrested Sandra Bland was not IMO.