WHO is searching for Kyron?

[debs]

I think one of the reasons Desiree and Kaine aren't physically searching for Kyron is that they believe he is alive and hidden somewhere. They don't believe his body is somewhere in the brush and I don't think they have any desire to look for his body. Finding it would be their worst nightmare and I don't think they are ready to accept the fact that he might not be alive.

We don't have to make an assumption on why they're not searching. They state, in the link I provided, their clear reasons why they are not searching themselves. The two reasons I can remember off-hand without going to get direct quotes are:

Desiree: We don't want to be out there walking around and tripping over evidence.

Kaine: We don't want to get lost.

That link though, provides in their words their reasoning.

That does not, however, answer the question with regard to what they're doing with the funds they're raising for searches, other than to say that since the funds were first announced, no searches have yet been paid for with those funds.

 

[Bluestars]

Maybe they think someone has Kyron, so searching in the forest would be a waste of time and not a good use of the funds. I'm sure they want to find their son and that is their priority. If they are not using funds to search, maybe they feel confident that LE is doing much better than they could in finding their son. Since they have stated over and over again that they think he is stashed somewhere, I'm sure they would think it is a waste of money to look for him in the forest.

If people contribute to their fund raisers, those people are probably behind Desiree and Kaine and want to support them in whatever way the parents feel necessary in finding their son. The people who don't feel comfortable with giving money to them, don't have to give anything. I would definitely only contribute to a fund where I felt comfortable with the people asking for donations.

 

[Dee10]

We don't have to make an assumption on why they're not searching. They state, in the link I provided, their clear reasons why they are not searching themselves. The two reasons I can remember off-hand without going to get direct quotes are:

Desiree: We don't want to be out there walking around and tripping over evidence.

Kaine: We don't want to get lost.

That link though, provides in their words their reasoning.

That does not, however, answer the question with regard to what they're doing with the funds they're raising for searches, other than to say that since the funds were first announced, no searches have yet been paid for with those funds.

My Debs, do you not suppose when asked by the press they are just trying to keep-it-together & not want to "go there"?

I can't remember when the fund-raising for searches started, was it around when SARS etc. were still searching?

 

[Bluestars]

My Debs, do you not suppose when asked by the press they are just trying to keep-it-together & not want to "go there"?

I can remember when the fund-raising for searches started, was it around when SARS etc. were still searching?

That's what I was thinking. They probably don't want to say that finding the dead body of their son in a river would be their biggest nightmare. They are doing the best they can and I have nothing but compassion for them.

 

[debs]

My Debs, do you not suppose when asked by the press they are just trying to keep-it-together & not want to "go there"?

I can't remember when the fund-raising for searches started, was it around when SARS etc. were still searching?

I don't recall supplying a supposition for why they answered the way they answered. I just gave the link to what they replied. But since you ask, I don't think so, since it caused them to laugh to think of themselves tripping over evidence or getting lost. Perhaps it's just the way they cope. I don't know. Like I said, I just provided the link which explains their position on them doing physical searches themselves.

 

[Dee10]

Well that solves that then.:truce:

 

[Dee10]

Does anyone else remember if there were searches when the fundraisers started? I seem to remember originally it was to off-set LE, but IDK.

 

[pufnstuf]

I don't recall supplying a supposition for why they answered the way they answered. I just gave the link to what they replied. But since you ask, I don't think so, since it caused them to laugh to think of themselves tripping over evidence or getting lost. Perhaps it's just the way they cope. I don't know. Like I said, I just provided the link which explains their position on them doing physical searches themselves.

And considering that none of us in the Kyron subforum has ever been through what they've been through, we have no idea how we'd cope. I wonder if their critics ever stop to think that they probably have to push themselves to even get out of bed in the morning to do these interviews and make appearances at events. To go to the Wall of Hope and see the messages people leave. To go on TV to discuss the case, where they know that viewers will dissect their every gesture and expression.

The Catch 22 here is that, were they not making these appearances, this case would have fallen off the "Hot Cases" screen by now. I bet that they know that people analyze their every move, and I'd go even further to say that they don't care, because they know by making these "controversial" appearances, their son stays in the news.

What they are going through, I do not envy. They have lost a child. Anyone can say what they "would do" if they were in Kaine and Desiree's position, but I think I can say confidently that none of us wish to be where they are.

 

[debs]

And considering that none of us in the Kyron subforum has ever been through what they've been through, we have no idea how we'd cope. I wonder if their critics ever stop to think that they probably have to push themselves to even get out of bed in the morning to do these interviews and make appearances at events. To go to the Wall of Hope and see the messages people leave. To go on TV to discuss the case, where they know that viewers will dissect their every gesture and expression.

The Catch 22 here is that, were they not making these appearances, this case would have fallen off the "Hot Cases" screen by now. I bet that they know that people analyze their every move, and I'd go even further to say that they don't care, because they know by making these "controversial" appearances, their son stays in the news.

What they are going through, I do not envy. They have lost a child. Anyone can say what they "would do" if they were in Kaine and Desiree's position, but I think I can say confidently that none of us wish to be where they are.

Who is their critic here? There was a question about searches and whether the parents were doing their own. A link was provided where they state very clearly why they're not.

 

[Kat010]

But here's my point, and in advance, no bashing intended........but if the parents have good information from LE that Kyron is alive, then why are they gathering funds to conduct searches?

That's a logical question. Maybe as they get the foundation going they'll have help with presenting their goals and plans for using the funds. That can be a tricky thing to do, and money is always such a "hot button" topic. Do they have a board overseeing the funds and how they're spent? That's always a good idea for fundraising and organizations that identify as a charity. Maybe they don't have anyone to help in doing these things. It would be great if an attorney and an accountant each volunteered to serve on such a board.

And I wonder if they really have "good information" from LE that Kyron is alive. Or if they're taking the normal statements from LE about not giving up hope, etc. and then just clinging to those in desperation.

 

[Kat010]

Who is their critic here? There was a question about searches and whether the parents were doing their own. A link was provided where they state very clearly why they're not.

And thanks for providing that link. That's always helpful.

I don't think that it's unusual for the public to ask questions about how donated funds are used, nor do I see criticism in such questions, especially when a new fundarising effort is underway. That's just good business, for people to ask before donating.

Nor do I think it's criticizing when the public asks about what the parents are doing now, whether it be searching or other activities. A sad event like this pulls out huge amounts of community resources, from volunteer SAR groups to volunteers handing out flyers, etc. and it gets attention. And that attention is desperately needed. Part of the process of getting community involvement is that the community then feels invested and people will ask questions and provide feedback.

With an open case of a missing child, questions are natural. I don't think that questions are criticisms. And, the fact is that anyone in the public eye, even if thrust there by circumstance, will be questioned, praised, criticized, prayed for, damned, applauded, all in varying amounts. Just part of human nature and our culture.

And I don't think that providing links to information, per our guidelines here, constitutes criticism. We're here to discuss and seek out information. Real information, not rumors and speculations from gossip or other sites, and that to me is important. JMO

 

[SacreBleu]

I don't know. I'm hesitant to question or throw stones or throw praise until something is actually done with the funds. Maybe they don't have enough money right now to fund whatever search they want to have done. This is a pretty high-profile case. A lot of people are watching. And I don't think either Kaine or Desiree are stupid - they are not going to do jeopardize themselves or their jobs for a measly few thousand dollars. I'm not worried about the funds being used for a good cause - whether it's to search for Kyron now, or for some other lost child in the future. JMHO.

 

[debs]

That's a logical question. Maybe as they get the foundation going they'll have help with presenting their goals and plans for using the funds. That can be a tricky thing to do, and money is always such a "hot button" topic. Do they have a board overseeing the funds and how they're spent? That's always a good idea for fundraising and organizations that identify as a charity. Maybe they don't have anyone to help in doing these things. It would be great if an attorney and an accountant each volunteered to serve on such a board.

And I wonder if they really have "good information" from LE that Kyron is alive. Or if they're taking the normal statements from LE about not giving up hope, etc. and then just clinging to those in desperation.

I know that to file for 503(c)(3) status, articles of incorporation must be filed on both federal and state levels. In Oregon, it is only required there be one director, versus a board of directors. I looked it up when I wondered how much work must have been put in to get this foundation up and running. (p.s., it is a lot of work!!)

 

[LindseyLou]

And considering that none of us in the Kyron subforum has ever been through what they've been through, we have no idea how we'd cope. I wonder if their critics ever stop to think that they probably have to push themselves to even get out of bed in the morning to do these interviews and make appearances at events. To go to the Wall of Hope and see the messages people leave. To go on TV to discuss the case, where they know that viewers will dissect their every gesture and expression.

The Catch 22 here is that, were they not making these appearances, this case would have fallen off the "Hot Cases" screen by now. I bet that they know that people analyze their every move, and I'd go even further to say that they don't care, because they know by making these "controversial" appearances, their son stays in the news.

What they are going through, I do not envy. They have lost a child. Anyone can say what they "would do" if they were in Kaine and Desiree's position, but I think I can say confidently that none of us wish to be where they are.

I don't think anyone is being critical of their actions. I think we are all thankful that we are not in their shoes to have to make those kind of decisions, and also extremely sympathetic to what they're going through. I've been praying for Kyron's safe return every evening in my prayers.

If I have any criticism, it is not directed at them. Its just in general, I can't help but wonder how they are so trusting of LE to do their job thoroughly and correctly when it has been 3+ months now and still nothing... that's more what I am thinking at this moment. I don't know if I personally could have complete faith in LE (like they do) to look at everything and follow every lead possible. I think I would be independently searching for him on my own as well - because I would not give up hope that I would find him - no matter where he is or what he's been through. They just need some closure and to absolutely 100% have their son back.

Its terrible not knowing where he is or even if LE is close to solving that question. I can only hope that they have some inside info that none of us have, that is very solid to lead them to believe he IS "stashed" somewhere and not what many of us all fear has happened to him.

 

[SacreBleu]

Given the fact that Tony, a police detective, is a very prominent part of the parental mix, do you think there may be a higher tendancy to trust LE than normal? I do think this may color any "search" decisions they may make.

 

[LindseyLou]

Given the fact that Tony, a police detective, is a very prominent part of the parental mix, do you think there may be a higher tendancy to trust LE than normal? I do think this may color any "search" decisions they may make.

That's true. I thought of that, but it just doesn't seem like they're getting anywhere with this case. At some point, you'd think they would start getting frustrated. I have to say that DY, KH, and TY have maintained outstanding character, strength, and optimism from Day 1, despite all of the things that were flurrying around them. I really am impressed by the impression they have left with all of us. There will always be critics, but there has not been much for anyone to say about them other than that they are just like any normal person out there, only they are heartbroken and desperate to find their little boy.

Found this quote online about the search and rescue funds:

The e-mail also announced an Oct. 8 and 9 fundraiser for the Kyron Horman Foundation, which supports the sheriffs’ search and rescue unit. Volunteers mobilized by the unit searched for weeks around Skyline School after Kyron disappeared.

The fundraiser is sponsored by Sleepy Ridge Farms, 28995 S. Beavercreek Road, Mulino. It will donate 50 percent of the sales of plants to the foundation on Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 9 and 10.

“We are in support of the Sleepy Ridge Tree Farm fundraiser and encourage the community as always to keep their eyes out for Kyron. We will have some of our volunteers on hand that day to help anyone who wants to contribute,” the e-mail said.

Kyron disappeared after his stepmother, Terri Horman, took him to school. Investigators have focused much of their efforts on her, repeatedly asking the public if they saw her that day.

Horman has not been named a suspect or a person of interest in the case.

The e-mail also urged anyone with information on the case to call the tip line, 503-261-2847.

http://www.portlandtribune.com/news/story.php?story_id=128569864939590200

 

[pufnstuf]

I don't think anyone is being critical of their actions. I think we are all thankful that we are not in their shoes to have to make those kind of decisions, and also extremely sympathetic to what they're going through. I've been praying for Kyron's safe return every evening in my prayers.

If I have any criticism, it is not directed at them. Its just in general, I can't help but wonder how they are so trusting of LE to do their job thoroughly and correctly when it has been 3+ months now and still nothing... that's more what I am thinking at this moment. I don't know if I personally could have complete faith in LE (like they do) to look at everything and follow every lead possible. I think I would be independently searching for him on my own as well - because I would not give up hope that I would find him - no matter where he is or what he's been through. They just need some closure and to absolutely 100% have their son back.

Its terrible not knowing where he is or even if LE is close to solving that question. I can only hope that they have some inside info that none of us have, that is very solid to lead them to believe he IS "stashed" somewhere and not what many of us all fear has happened to him.

Desiree said that she and Kaine are being briefed every other day or weekly, depending on what's going on. I do believe that they have info that we don't have.

I am certain that Desiree has asked LE if they think her son is dead. And I'm sure that they respond that there's no evidence to indicate that he's not alive. As a parent, she doesn't want to give up hope... however, it looks to me that she's moving through the denial to the frustration stage right now. How she chooses to do that is her business.

I think that she's handled this whole situation with grace and class. I would not hold up so well.

All my opinion.

 

[pufnstuf]

Given the fact that Tony, a police detective, is a very prominent part of the parental mix, do you think there may be a higher tendancy to trust LE than normal? I do think this may color any "search" decisions they may make.

I'd think it would give her the ability to discern truth from BS... especially if Tony sits in on the briefings.

He knows the inner workings of investigatory process. Probably not so easy to BS a fellow cop.

 

[pittsburghgirl]

The Natalee Holloway case is a good example to show the limits of "searching." She disappeared on an island and in the company of someone who should have been to LE a clear suspect. So the geography is somewhat favorable in terms of a land search. While Aruba is an island, there was always the issue of the perpetrator being able to hide and move a body, and ultimately to dispose of it in the ocean, which is vast and hard to search.Five years and many searches later, no one has found a body.

In many cases, LE doesn't want parents to "search" for a body because of the likelihood of disturbing evidence--but also for other reasons. If a parent is involved in some way, he or she could "search" an area that contains the body--and find nothing. Or plant evidence to suggest another person. I wonder, too, how much sense it makes for parents to be out, months after a disappearance, looking for something they almost certainly picture as a living child--when what they would have to look for is disturbed earth, decaying clothing, and human remains. I see so many posts on missing persons threads about searches, with questions about why parents are not "searching." Once the first week or so is over, and the places where a child can be found alive because he or she might have gotten lost or fallen victim to an accident have been eliminated, or it becomes obvious that a stranger did not abduct the child and dump the body nearby--where would anyone search? Bodies can be buried, put in dumpsters far away and end up in landfills, put in storage lockers or tossed into bodies of water far from the abduction scene. After a certain point, parental searches have to focus on finding a living child--which means posters, media events, and now the use of the internet to make it more likely that the child will be identified or hear that the parents are searching.

 

[debs]

Every case is individual, every parent unique in their experiences when their child goes missing. All we can do, and all anyone should do, is take them at their own words why they are not searching. I have said this before, and will state again, Kaine and Desiree are not searching for two reasons:

1. Desiree says she doesn't want to trip over evidence on a search.
2. Kaine says they will no doubt get lost if they tried.

Instead, they turned their efforts into getting t-shirts, bracelets and buttons made. Now they have a foundation to run. And now Desiree's new cause is to move the reward up from an "adequate" (her word, not mine) $50K to a substantial, and equal to Terri's defense funds, $350K.

I have never seen a parent act like any other parent when their child is missing. It is unique to each one of them. May I never experience it.