Question: Could the cops have put in a mutual restraining order based on what happened?
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It's interesting to know that there is such a thing as a mutual restraining order so thanks for the post.
There are, IMO, data points to support the likelihood there was mutual DV in G&B's relationship. I'm not talking about what statistics say in general about DV. Individual responsibility for a crime can't be determined based on population statistics or demographics/profiling (although it's sometimes unfairly assumed a man must be guilty because statistically men are more violent.) My view is based not on statistics but on what G&B actually said to LE when interviewed separately, what
both witnesses said, the injuries noted, and Rose's description of a past incident where GP slapped BL first, then he shoved her. I personally have not seen persuasive evidence that either party was aggressive only in response to aggression but that could be true for either of them. But regardless of all of that, I don't think any kind of order would have ever been issued in this case (even if different officers had taken the call.)
For one, I don't think "cops" can order true restraining orders-- that requires court action or at least the action of a magistrate, not a police officer. Second, neither Gabby nor Brian said they were the victim of DV and neither would have wanted a restraining order. (I think that's pretty clear since they didn't even want to be separated for the night.) The article suggested a mutual order could be issued if A wants an order against B and has evidence of B's aggression, but B shows during a hearing that A is also an aggressor. That's not at all what was happening here. Neither one wanted the other kept away.
Of course, it's a tragedy GP was killed about 2 weeks after the incident. But I don't think the solution is to create more Draconian laws restricting consenting adults from engaging in mutually-desired interaction, even if the relationship is viewed as "bad" in some way by some people. NS described the Moab incident as an ordinary "argument" of the sort couples may have on long trips and that was after talking to GP about it. If the couple had been ordered to stay apart for more than a night in the middle of a dream trip sponsored and supported by their families, I expect there would have been outrage over that too.
Women who are murdered are more likely to be killed by someone known to them than are men (but not necessarily by a romantic partner or spouse.) In 2020, in the US only 5% of the homicide victims were female.
The Truth About Stranger Homicide, and Who's Really at Risk
To save even one woman's life, it would seem thousands of restraining orders would have to be forced on arguing couples. For couples living together, one person would have to quickly move out of the shared residence. For couples on car trips, one person would suddenly be left stranded. For couples employed at the same place, one person would have to quit his/her job, probably without notice. For couples with children, effective co-parenting would be impossible without any direct communication. So I don't think imposing restraining orders when neither partner wants an order is the solution. Plus, as women who have sought protective orders against violent spouses learn, in some cases those orders aren't actually very protective anyway.
If a mutual restraining order had been issued in this case, who would have reported G and/or B for breaking it? They were supposed to remain separated the night after the incident. We don't even know if they did that, do we?
JMO
