I feel horrible for the women in this forum that have experienced abuse. Your stories are gut wrenching. But I honestly don't see how you relate Nancy's experience prior to July 12th to what you experienced. I would like to leave the events of July 12th out of this because there are people that don't believe he killed her. But prior to July 12th, the only things I see from him that he controlled were finances and the ability for her to take their kids and leave the country. The finances are a bit of a different story since she didn't have a green card and couldn't work. I get that. She didn't have her own money. But there were none of the other signs of abuse that you always hear about. He didn't isolate her from her friends. He didn't isolate her from her family. He didn't hit her. He didn't berate her and destroy her self esteem (at least not that I am aware of). He put her on an allowance (a fairly generous one) and took that passports (actually only wanted to take one). I honestly do not see how that relates to the experiences you ladies have shared on here. Honestly, she relied on her parents for lots of things, including money. If he was truly abusive, could she not have left, with the kids, and had her parents support her until it got worked out? Could she have gone to court to let the court decide if she was allowed to go back to Canada with the kids? They probably would have ruled that she had to since she wasn't a US Citizen and didn't have a green card. There were avenues she could have taken and she didn't. But I simply don't see how it adds up to abuse. Maybe that's because I'm a guy and just don't "get it".