6-year-old boy suspended from school for kissing student on the cheek

[ScarlettScarpetta]

I think they ran out of options. The mother and the child admit he has not been listening. That he has had problems keeping his hands to himself. It is something all kids learn in kindergarten. My kids all learned about personal space from me and from school.

I think that they did everything they could and this was the last resort. I hope it works. I hope the mother steps up and helps him get it.

 

[Tawny]

No. He kissed her on the hand. The inappropriate part is that he has been told before over and over that she wants NOT to be touched. Does she have any less rights because she is 6? No. She gets to say who touches her and doesn't.

He needs to learn NO is NO. Maybe him being suspended will help him see that. He already said he was wrong in the news clip. He seems to get it. His mother has said he was in trouble before.

He needs to learn NO Is NO. Especially when it comes to touching someone else.

OBVIOUSLY the child needs to learn that. My point is that as a CHILD, simply being told "no" does not necessarily suffice. An adult can grasp that "NO means NO" but a child still has to learn the WHY and HOW behind the NO.

He isn't an adult. His brain has not developed to the point of understanding "sometimes no doesn't require explanation".

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

OBVIOUSLY the child needs to learn that. My point is that as a CHILD, simply being told "no" does not necessarily suffice. An adult can grasp that "NO means NO" but a child still has to learn the WHY and HOW behind the NO.

He isn't an adult. His brain has not developed to the point of understanding "sometimes no doesn't require explanation".

Sure it does. Kids need to learn no is no. It should be taught early on. For many reasons. His brain is developed enough to understand NO.

A 2 yr old can understand no. Sometimes kids need to learn No means NO because it just does.

 

[Tawny]

So why do kids have to be told "no" over and over again all the time? Since they are fully capable of understanding no the first time, parents shouldn't have to repeat themselves, right?

Or is every single parent in the history of the world a failure because he/she has had to repeat themselves numerous times to their children?

 

[Tawny]

And according to the very first article, he kissed her on the cheek AND the hand.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

So why do kids have to be told "no" over and over again all the time? Since they are fully capable of understanding no the first time, parents shouldn't have to repeat themselves, right?

Or is every single parent in the history of the world a failure because he/she has had to repeat themselves numerous times to their children?

If the parents do it right there is no need to say it over and over. The first thing to teach your children is when you say no you mean it. If they don't think you mean it they will either keep asking or they will keep doing what they are told not to. That is up to the parents. In my house No means no. In my house growing up No was no.

This of course comes with age so a 2 yr old , You should say it a lot, A 5 yr old should get it more and a 6 yr old even more.

There has to be consequences to not following the rules or in this case touching another child in which it has been perfectly clear she does not want to be touched.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/12/us/six-year-old-kissing-girl-suspension/

IT has been downgraded to misconduct. Which I agree with . SH should not have ever been used in this case.

 

[Tawny]

I'm all set with how to parent. My kid is pretty much awesome. She's 4 and she understands no, yet she still needs to learn the WHY so the NO is concrete and she knows there's no negotiating. Or maybe I'm totally failing her by taking the time to explain why I'm telling her no. :facepalm:

I never once said that there shouldn't be consequences. But since we have no idea what the parents have been doing, we can only assume he hasn't had the why explained to him.

JMO.

 

[Trident]

It's kind of a sad world when a child is treated like a criminal for kissing a hand. I could understand it if he were hitting, pinching, or hurting. I also feel sorry for her, being so adverse to being touched. It sounds to me like mole hills are turning into the tower of babble, and America is becoming a police state, even for six year olds.

 

[oyeyemi808]

It's kind of a sad world when a child is treated like a criminal for kissing a hand. I could understand it if he were hitting, pinching, or hurting. I also feel sorry for her, being so adverse to being touched. It sounds to me like mole hills are turning into the tower of babble, and America is becoming a police state, even for six year olds.

While I agree with some of what you said I believe the child has every right not to be touched if she doesn't want to be touched especially by someone who was yoldnot to do it several times before

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

It's kind of a sad world when a child is treated like a criminal for kissing a hand. I could understand it if he were hitting, pinching, or hurting. I also feel sorry for her, being so adverse to being touched. It sounds to me like mole hills are turning into the tower of babble, and America is becoming a police state, even for six year olds.

It is not about him kissing her hand. It is about him refusing to follow the rules and leave this little girl alone.

 

[tezi]

OBVIOUSLY the child needs to learn that. My point is that as a CHILD, simply being told "no" does not necessarily suffice. An adult can grasp that "NO means NO" but a child still has to learn the WHY and HOW behind the NO.

He isn't an adult. His brain has not developed to the point of understanding "sometimes no doesn't require explanation".

BBM: This is exactly! Children need to understand the how and the why behind the no.

JMO

 

[brighidin]

Clearly that boy needs to learn about boundaries and personal space and I feel for the girl who asserted herself to no avail, but I think the adults involved took things a little too far.

When my son was in grade 2 a girl kept hugging him and he didn't like it so he punched her in the stomach. They both got in trouble and the teacher made them clean the boards or desks together so they would learn to co-exist. There were no suspensions; media was not called; no one was labelled in any way. They are 18 now and he isn't adverse to being touched, nor is he violent in anyway, and she isn't a creepy mccreepster. Kids have to learn how to act civilly in society and some take longer than others. IMO.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Clearly that boy needs to learn about boundaries and personal space and I feel for the girl who asserted herself to no avail, but I think the adults involved took things a little too far.

When my son was in grade 2 a girl kept hugging him and he didn't like it so he punched her in the stomach. They both got in trouble and the teacher made them clean the boards or desks together so they would learn to co-exist. There were no suspensions; media was not called; no one was labelled in any way. They are 18 now and he isn't adverse to being touched, nor is he violent in anyway, and she isn't a creepy mccreepster. Kids have to learn how to act civilly in society and some take longer than others. IMO.

Well that would be rational. My feeling is his mother is the one who called the media.

 

[jjenny]

It's kind of a sad world when a child is treated like a criminal for kissing a hand. I could understand it if he were hitting, pinching, or hurting. I also feel sorry for her, being so adverse to being touched. It sounds to me like mole hills are turning into the tower of babble, and America is becoming a police state, even for six year olds.

I am curious. If some guy was running up to you and kissing your hands, and you didn't appreciate it, would you then describe yourself as "adverse to being touched?"
None of us would accept this behavior. Why should the little girl?
And I don't think she should be labeled as "adverse to being touched" for not wanting some boy to kiss her.

 

[nothingnew]

So why do kids have to be told "no" over and over again all the time? Since they are fully capable of understanding no the first time, parents shouldn't have to repeat themselves, right?

Or is every single parent in the history of the world a failure because he/she has had to repeat themselves numerous times to their children?

They need to be taught no means no but the parents have yet to learn that lesson so that is where they fail. I see it all the time, keep nagging and mommy will give in just to shut you up, right? So I find it hard to believe that at home these parents are taking the time to learn what no means and how to convey that to their kids instead of taking the easy way out and bargaining over everything.
Honestly how many times have you heard a "no" and then instead of taking the kid away from the situation mom or dad makes a deal with their kid? It has to work if the kids keep at it. People can't teach the word "no" if they haven't a clue what it means.

 

[Cappuccino]

I am curious. If some guy was running up to you and kissing your hands, and you didn't appreciate it, would you then describe yourself as "adverse to being touched?"
None of us would accept this behavior. Why should the little girl?
And I don't think she should be labeled as "adverse to being touched" for not wanting some boy to kiss her.

I agree. Its not the little girl who is at fault here, its not even the school for disciplining the boy. The fault comes in when the school places a label of sexual harrasment on his behaviour with all the sinister, predatory, adult notions that label implies, not to mention the stigma it attaches to the boy.

He misbehaved, apparently he did so persistently, so its right for him to be disciplined. But he should be dealt with as a six year old child who is persistently misbehaving, not some kind of mini Ted Bundy who needs an adult stigma landed on his head. He's probably only just learnt to tie his own shoe laces, FFS.

 

[TrackerSam]

They need to be taught no means no but the parents have yet to learn that lesson so that is where they fail. I see it all the time, keep nagging and mommy will give in just to shut you up, right? So I find it hard to believe that at home these parents are taking the time to learn what no means and how to convey that to their kids instead of taking the easy way out and bargaining over everything.
Honestly how many times have you heard a "no" and then instead of taking the kid away from the situation mom or dad makes a deal with their kid? It has to work if the kids keep at it. People can't teach the word "no" if they haven't a clue what it means.

You don't know those parents. Sometimes what kids do is not because parents haven't taught them correctly, but inspite of it. He broke a stupid rule (no touching). When I was in school, we had 'square dancing' in the 5th grade and I hated it. But whatever grade, we had fire drills, hand in hand we all filed out of the building. We had recess and 'ring around the rosy', more hand holding. We played 'leap frog'. :scared: Let's call in the feds, that's got to be sexual harassment. We played 'tag'. :scared: We played Red Rover. :scared:
No wonder kids don't play outside anymore and video games are so popular with them, ...............they're just avoiding the hassle of intracting with other kids.

 

[tlcya]

shocking, zero tolerance rears its ugly head yet again.

There is a little neighbor girl who has referred to my son as "her" J since they were 4. They attend school together and for the first two years each day when school let out she would run across the parking lot to the area of school he was exiting from with his class and throw her arms around him. He found it embarrassing and would pull away. They are neighbors and classmates but he did not appreciate the lovey dovey in my personal space type attention.

She was never suspended or disciplined by the school. The school staff who witnessed this daily occurrence did not intervene. WE as the kids' parents worked daily to remove her from her death grip hug on him and eventually she began to understand what we were telling her about personal space and why that was not okay to launch herself at someone in that manner.

eventually she got it and the daily hugs ended.

Children are children, they learn as they go, sometimes what one learns and grasps at age 3 it takes another til age 7.

This was blown out of proportion IMO.

 

[TrackerSam]

Well said IMO.