eve
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- Jan 26, 2004
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Eve, I understand where you are coming from. First off, the specific situation I was talking about had to do with two teachers...making almost the same amount. My friend thought her ex should support the ENTIRE cost of the children. I let her know that he is paying HIS HALF. Now, since they made almost the same amount of money, I felt as if she should chip in the same amount as he does. She felt like "her" money was her own....as if she had nothing to do with the children being born in the first place! Now, some other situations were like K-fed. The wives were staying at home "raising the children" which of course were all school aged and even old enough to stay at home for a short period of time (15, 17) and it the other situation (14,17,18). They were living off the child support entirely! NOT what child support was intended for. One was taking her ex back to court so SHE could buy a new car for HERSELF! In both of these cases, the money was substantial, and so the ex spouses thought they should set on their asses and live off of their ex. I am soooooo not into that scene. I gently pointed out to one of them that they no longer "needed" to stay at home with the children and why didn't she go back to teaching to buy her "own" car. She blew up and said that I was not taking her side. I simply said I was taking the "children's" side....which was to use the money for them or set up some kind of fund with the excess of the money if it was not needed for their direct use. I don't like freeloaders. K-fed has a staff helping him raise the children, so he could work and contribute to his attorney fees and support his own partying and jewelry, as well as his own personal expenses. Now back to your post. Of course doing "your part" doesn't mean a 50-50% split of the money. If he makes more, then he should pay a bigger percentage of the split. Does that make sense? Also, no where in your post do I see you saying that you are not working and paying your part. Food, clothing, shelter for the children, insurance on the home, etc. are all part of raising the children. Now, I am sure that the child support that you are receiving is not covering all of this...and you are doing your part to pay the difference. I am sure you are not buying your own personal clothes or going out partying with your children's child support. (Just by reading your posts in the past makes me think you are NOT THIS TYPE OF PERSON! LOL) Also, I am SURE that you don't leave a 2000.00 tip from your children's child support payment.:bang: :bang: :bang:
I have a child that is going to be a doctor so I TOTALLY understand the scary cost of college. Also, when was the last time you treated yourself to jewelry at the expense of your ex's support payments? I didn't think so. I am on your side. Really I am. I am sad to think that your ex thinks that "you" are the one that he is supporting. This seems to be the attitude of so many men and women that pay support. In many cases, it is justified anger, but with as many cases it isn't. I hope the kids don't hear him say that to you. That would be just heartbreaking. Keep your chin up. Kids know who is there for them. Also, congrats to your super student in college. I know you are proud of them!
Yup, Dea, anyone who leaves a $2k tip really is in a different league in regard to all this! It is almost amusing to read this thread. They both have so much help, no matter what state of mind Brit's in. I feel for her boys but not from a material standpoint.
I also have known many people who have assumed the money they make is separate and distinct form household/childcare expenses. This includes my own SIL and my husband's ex.
I have worked very hard and my oldest plans on med school too. My problem is I want so much to give them as much as I can for school that I have bitten off more than I can chew and haven't said "I cannot do this," often enough. I have had 6 years to work, before that I was home with kids for 12 years, my ex has had 20 years to get his ducks in a row and still I am the one who is painted as the bad guy. And yes, I believe he does express this to the kids. It is always a concern. Thanks Dea!:blowkiss:
Eve