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I pray for Vanessa and her daughter every day. I pray for Vanessa because chances are, she will have pregnancies too. I doubt Raven is in any better financial shape than he was in N.C., so why would she and her unborn future child be any safer than Janet and her's was?
I guess my opinion about this goes to the fact that I think the news of the second baby was what sent Raven into a fury.

It's been a very long time since his blog entries were posted here. As far as I know, someone kept them, especially the one about " I'm A Bird".

IF anything might make a difference to a rational woman, I think that Internet entry and the date of its posting might. It chills me to the bone. Does anyone have it and can it be posted here? It was in the public domain and is not copyrighted.
Thanks!
Maria

I believe someone will post it shortly.
 
Here ya go...I can't find the link though. Maybe someone can post it.

Monday, April 25, 2005

If I were a
bird... Wait, I am!

The way in which I was raised is a direct reflection of the person I am today.
In my early childhood I began to develop strengths that would help me in both my personal and professional life. I learned how to adapt to change, become outgoing and personable, and become aggressive in all my endeavors. The same experiences which made me strong also created weakness. As I was forced to grow up quickly I began to overlook my education, second guess myself, and loose focus easily. The strengths and weaknesses I developed in my childhood have played a role in my personal and professional life. As I grow in wisdom I am making efforts to improve upon my weaknesses while developing my strengths.
While under the age of five years old I saw my parents go through a very difficult divorce. My mother was left to care for 4 children under the age of six. As young as 7 years old I remember having the desire to help ease her pains. I decided that if I could grow up fast then my mom would have less to worry about and I could help her accomplish what she needed to have an orderly house. I began by being comfortable with change. During all my childhood I was constantly challenged with change. Our routine regularly changed with our financial situation, our home, and our surroundings.As a child I often didn’t know what the next meal would bring. It seemed one month we were dining out every night and the next month we were receiving food assistance from our church. I remember being able to buy $400 worth of clothes for the beginning of my school year from Mervyns during my 3rd grade year. However, in the 6th grade I learned to maximize my budget of $100 by shopping at TJ Maxx. This uncertainly could have caused me to have insecurities or embarrassments about my situation. Instead, I became accustomed to change and comfortable adapting to my surroundings. As I have grown up I have found that my ability to adapt to change has become a valuable strength in my life. By adapting to change in my personal life I have been able to not stress about change in atmosphere. When times have been good I’ve dined in the finest of restaurants and when times have been tough I’ve been able to utilize coupons and eating in to stay within my budget.
The same can be said in my professional life. During 2001 my company budget was downsized from a $3k monthly spending budget to $750. Most of my team members had built their sales around spending the $3k with golf outings, dinner parties and other activities to secure business. While I did some of the same activities I found it very easy to limit my spending and during our next quarterly sales meeting I was the only team member to stay within budget.
In addition to financial challenges in my childhood, I was challenged with making new friends more often than most children. Having lived in 10 different houses and attending 10 different schools by the time I was seventeen I had no choice but to adapt or be lost in the shuffle. The constant change in schools made me quite the extravert. Because time was precious and I didn’t know what was around the corner I didn’t have time to be shy. I had to be energetic and outgoing to attract friends and relationships. I have used this strength to benefit my personal life as well as my professional life. In my personal life I have never been afraid to make new acquaintances and in turn have many friends. At work I have been successful at sales because I am very personable and can relate to others very well.
One of the strengths my mother possessed was aggressiveness and the unwillingness to accept circumstances as final. Although times were hard, my mother always instilled in us the desire to aggressively seek after our dreams. If we wanted something bad enough, all we had to do was work hard for it.
When I was 15 years old I wanted to be viewed as the #1 goalie in the state. At the regional ODP (Olympic Development Program) camp the national coach of our age group evaluated my skills and said I struggled at communicating with my team and distributing the ball. Over the next year I woke up every morning before school and practiced 100 punts and 100 goal kicks. In the afternoon I threw the ball up against a wall 100 times. At practice I spent more time listening to how my coach communicated to the team so I could do the same from the field. In only one year I was the top goalie in Utah (Starting for our ODP team, of course, my buddy Darius wasn't playing ODP this year and he was my only competition I think) and went on to achieve success as an ODP player and a college athlete.
The same aggressiveness to reach perfection in my youth has strengthened me in my professional endeavors. I recall my first time interviewing with companies in DC. I was offered positions at 6 of the 7 places I interviewed. Most of the managers directly commented on how they admired my aggressiveness to get in the door and that is what attracted them to me. This aggressiveness also allows me to not give up when others might throw in the towel!
The same circumstances which strengthened my personality also gave way to weakness in my life. While I was adapting to change I felt like I was reinventing the wheel too often. The constant change of surroundings leads me to loose focus easily and this has proven to be a weakness in my life. Early in my career I found myself changing goals every few months which lead to changing jobs often and consequently I was often moving. While I changed schools a lot in my youth I never had a real foundation in education. Additionally, my mom was successful and undereducated, which strengthened my belief that education was not important. However, I now find that my lack of education leaves me narrow minded and can limit my interaction with co-workers and friends. Finally, because I was moving so much as a child I did have some insecurity. One insecurity was second guessing myself. Without constant friendships I was always afraid to ask for help and in that frame of thought I often wondered if what I was doing was right. In my personal and professional life my biggest weakness is uncertainty because through second-guessing myself I do not take a lot of risk and to be successful in my line of work you must be willing to take risks.
A strength which is evident in this writing is my ability to recognize weakness. Through this recognition of weakness I am able to focus on changing behaviors to better prepare myself for a successful future. I do not like to spend time reflecting on weakness, but as I acknowledge what my weaknesses are I also identify ways to improve on them. To help me keep focused I use Franklin Covey software to organize my projects, goals, tasks, and calendar down to the simplest of steps.
I have also committed to continued learning. I have read many management and leadership books and started participating in group discussions at work and at home to broaden my knowledge and strengthen my decision making. These two things will allow me to not second guess myself and feel adequately educated. While my childhood brought on these weaknesses, I feel like my ability to adapt to change will allow me to overcome my weaknesses as I grow and mature in my personal and professional life.
In summary, I feel my strengths and weaknesses have been molded from the way I was raised. Through the events of my childhood I was able to develop strengths that not only helped me survive my adolescence, but have proven to be a great attribute to the development of my personal and professional life. I also understand that I am able to change my weaknesses through my ability to adapt and that by doing so I will achieve success.
 
Thank you so much for posting this. Anytime anyone questions what was in Raven Abaroa's mind the night before his wife was murdered needs only to read this blog entry, which he hastily took offline.

Vanessa, if you are ever lurking here, many people are praying for you and hoping that God will open your eyes to the harm Raven has done. Look at Kaiden. He was a baby in a crib when his mother and brother or sister were murdered. He will live his entire life with all the emotions that the child of a murdered mother must carry inside their hearts. Don't let your daughter have to carry those same burdens for you.
Please. Just read.
Maria
 
Thank you so much for posting this. Anytime anyone questions what was in Raven Abaroa's mind the night before his wife was murdered needs only to read this blog entry, which he hastily took offline.

Vanessa, if you are ever lurking here, many people are praying for you and hoping that God will open your eyes to the harm Raven has done. Look at Kaiden. He was a baby in a crib when his mother and brother or sister were murdered. He will live his entire life with all the emotions that the child of a murdered mother must carry inside their hearts. Don't let your daughter have to carry those same burdens for you.
Please. Just read.
Maria

I'm sad to say I think she probably thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread. I feel bad for her daughter.
 
I'm sure Janet felt blessed at one time too. She's obviously been through a lot in her life at this point and if she's feeling blessed to be with him, please keep saying a prayer for her and her daughter. I feel so sorry for her and truthfully completely worried.

I hope she's strong enough to deal with the fact that someday she will wake up and realize she exposed her child to sociopath and has been living with a murderer.

I will keep praying for Vanessa and Aria because they both need it so badly.
 
I'm sure Janet felt blessed at one time too. She's obviously been through a lot in her life at this point and if she's feeling blessed to be with him, please keep saying a prayer for her and her daughter. I feel so sorry for her and truthfully completely worried.

I hope she's strong enough to deal with the fact that someday she will wake up and realize she exposed her child to sociopath and has been living with a murderer.

I will keep praying for Vanessa and Aria because they both need it so badly.
You are a better person than me because knowing his history and subjecting her child to it is something I can't get passed. I'll keep praying for her little girl.
 
Is this Vanessa Bailey from Alta High School Class of 2000?

I don't know - i thought these met in "Day Care" I believe her name is Vanessa POND....she has never been married so I do not thinks so.

That in itself is something Raven is holding in inside himself as a tainted part of her, that I believe will be used against her by him some day.

Remember how in the interviews he tried to hint that Janet was the one that was not really into religion and faith and the teaching like him, which we all know is utter bs.

This guy can take a 50 cent coin and try to make you believe it's a Ten Dollar bill... what bugs me so much is people start to believe him. It is so infuriating.

On the other hand Neil Entwistle is down for Count, we have a few more out there that will be taken down eventually, Raven will be one of them!
 
I guess my opinion about this goes to the fact that I think the news of the second baby was what sent Raven into a fury.

Does anyone think this may be why Vanessa was targeted? She already has a child. Couldn't Raven use that in court and say, "If I really didn't want another baby, why would I marry someone with a child?"

Just a thought.
 
Does anyone think this may be why Vanessa was targeted? She already has a child. Couldn't Raven use that in court and say, "If I really didn't want another baby, why would I marry someone with a child?"

Just a thought.

I could agree with that perhaps IF Vanessa is the sole supporter of her child and would be the sole supporter of any future children. I don't think Raven wants to pay money to support children, even his children. In fact, I think he moved to Utah so his huge, dysfunctional family could teach him how to "creatively use" the government aid systems and physically take care of Kaiden, in their own way. There's quite a lot of info coming out now about some Medicaid workers in Utah as it relates to the plural marriages within the FLDS community.. Apparently, many take care of the LDS and FLDS children by falsifying forms and approving benefits which should be denied.

Janet's second pregnancy may or may not have been the precipitating factor in her murder, but some of us have always suspected that it was. Raven knew he was in legal and severe financial trouble, and I think the idea of another child was something he couldn't allow. There is also the popular theory that perhaps Janet was going to or had been helping the investigation into Raven's embezzlement and Raven was pressing her for a divorce. IOW, we don't know what precipitated the brutal deadly attack for certain yet, but I have always thought the news of a second baby played a part in the murder. I think we will know before long, if a captured bird can sing.

Maria
 
Does anyone think this may be why Vanessa was targeted? She already has a child. Couldn't Raven use that in court and say, "If I really didn't want another baby, why would I marry someone with a child?"

Just a thought.

I believe he needs to be married for that reason. I know we have all talked about it so many times, and I know i've brought it up. He's been Mommy shopping since he went back to Utah!

Somehow Raven seems to have it in his head that marrying again makes him look better in other's eyes. Like he actually believes nobody could believe he did it if married again, how could someone marry him if he's the one that killed Janet and that = innocence.

He's a sociopath.....he's good, it does not make him less guilty in my book. I believe 100% he murdered Janet and their unborn child, I believe he knew she was pregnant and it was a premeditated murdered.

Whether he is ever arrested...it doesn't make him less of a murderer in my book.
 
I believe he needs to be married for that reason. I know we have all talked about it so many times, and I know i've brought it up. He's been Mommy shopping since he went back to Utah!

Somehow Raven seems to have it in his head that marrying again makes him look better in other's eyes. Like he actually believes nobody could believe he did it if married again, how could someone marry him if he's the one that killed Janet and that = innocence.

He's a sociopath.....he's good, it does not make him less guilty in my book. I believe 100% he murdered Janet and their unborn child, I believe he knew she was pregnant and it was a premeditated murdered.

Whether he is ever arrested...it doesn't make him less of a murderer in my book.

:clap::clap::clap:
WOW, you have his logic figured out so well. You are exactly right. Whatever else he might appear to be to some people: charming, handsome ( yuck), successful (???), devout :waitasec:, he is a murdering sociopath IMO as well. :furious::furious::furious:


If he marries Vanessa and they have more kids, they will just go on the welfare rolls too, I guess. I am saying this based upon reports that he has found ways to circumvent the Medicaid system for Kaiden, and that his family members collect money they are not entitled to either. SCUM!

Maria
 
This is how I think of it. Raven is to some degree like Scott Peterson. He doesn't know how to be "normal" he has no conscience, no real emotions. He has to mirror the people around him to know how to live. He went off to college and met a nice Mormon girl. He looked around and saw that getting married made people happy and made you the center of attention and seemed like the next thing he was suppose to do.

Then when things settled down he started looking for that stimulus elsewhere. His precious VX made him feel part of a "normal" group. He mirrored their excitement and their speech, mirrored what he read and jumped right in. He tried to keep up with them. That became hard as money proplems set in. Throw the cheating on Janet in there somewhere, he needed to feed his ego.

By then Janet was probably seeing the real Raven. Maybe, inappropriate behavior, maybe she saw him act differently around different people. I wonder how much time he spent with his knives. I wonder how much time he spent thinking about how to quickly and smoothly kill someone before they could react. I wonder how much of this info was on his computer.

Maybe she began to see that there is NOTHING behind that smile. There is no real person behind those eyes. Only a mirror that tries to reflect what he thinks he should be like for "the" person he is with. How much do you think he "turned that off" around Janet after a while. I think she started seeing it in him. Now he's up a creek so he decided to "fix" things with Janet (I also feel like she might have suspected the cheating) by "fixing" their financial problems. Busted!

I think the realization of what Raven really is came to Janet and when she found out she was pregnant she got scared. Maybe she said the wrong thing at the wrong time to him..... <insert many theories here> ..... and I think he killed her.

Now, he's waited the pc amount of time - ha - but he does need to have a partner not only to take care of Kaiden, but so that he can find "normal" again. So he can appear "normal". All the girlfriends before, during and after Janet, even up to V have been testing grounds. He found someone who really believes she see's a person behind those eyes. What she doesn't understand, imo, is that she's seeing her own emotions and reactions and excitement and opinions mirrored back at her. That's what's so appealing about him. I bet he even got her parents that way.

This is, maybe, the only means of survival that Raven has, because of how he was raised. Going to 10 different schools. How do you fit in at a new school? You mirror everybody else. That way no one knows that you don't have a clue who or what you are.

So much for my armchair psychological evaluation. Blame it on Law & Order and the Peterson trial.

This post is not meant to offend anyone. I just read all your posts and thought I would see if this fits in with anyone else's feelings about Raven.
 
This is, maybe, the only means of survival that Raven has, because of how he was raised. Going to 10 different schools. How do you fit in at a new school? You mirror everybody else. That way no one knows that you don't have a clue who or what you are.
I think that SO much of what Raven is today is based on the way he was raised. I also think that your evaluation is probably right on.
 
If he marries Vanessa and they have more kids, they will just go on the welfare rolls too, I guess. I am saying this based upon reports that he has found ways to circumvent the Medicaid system for Kaiden, and that his family members collect money they are not entitled to either. SCUM!
There's no end to what these people do, is there?

From bankruptcies to pyramid schemes to embezzlement to essentially stealing from the government ... it just goes on and on and on. The apple sure doesn't fall far from the tree with this bunch.

Vanessa, why on Earth do you want to get mixed up with these people????? Think of your beautiful little girl! She needs YOU to do the right thing for her. She has no choice but to rely on YOU to keep her safe and to give her the life that she deserves. Please, think long and hard before marrying into this family.
 
Maybe she said the wrong thing at the wrong time to him..... <insert many theories here> ..... and I think he killed her..

snip

So much for my armchair psychological evaluation. Blame it on Law & Order and the Peterson trial.

This post is not meant to offend anyone. I just read all your posts and thought I would see if this fits in with anyone else's feelings about Raven.

Great Post LL&S I think you really did a great job at describing the psychology of Raven the sociopath.

I would like to expand on something a bit.

Janet went through the cheating once with Raven and he ended up leaving her they were separated and he lived with some girl and Janet was pregnant with Kaiden. He was with another girl and he didn't come back until much closer until she gave birth. He even made it sound like he was with Janet through Kaiden's pregnancy on NC Wanted...(BS there!)

Kaiden is born in October, he is embezzling, he get's caught in what December/January.

Now she is forced to leave her job where she works with people she really likes and that adores her, because of her husband. The cheater, the thief.

This is probably not the first time he embezzled. I believe he got away with it at HP.

Janet is now a Mom and has to take care of her and Kaiden. She knows she can do it on her own, Raven's not reliable anyhow. I think she just started find out more and more things, like the house is not theirs, it's rented, he's spending money on soccer games, on his VX, they are having all these money problems. He has toys, he lies, does she feel he's cheating again? Does these things get verbalized...a little at a time?

She probably told him when he came back prior to Kaiden being born if you cheat on me again, me and the baby are gone.

Raven is a sociopath, Kaiden is born and something inside him happens. He's a Dad, it looks good to be a Dad, Kaiden looks good, ...he will not allow Janet to take Kaiden and go. (Remember Raven being asked How Kaiden was....his response was "He looks good!" EDITED THIS IS AT THE EMBEZZLEMENT HEARING AFTER JANET MURDERED.

One of the beliefs of LDS is if you marry in the Temple you are Married for Life EDITED TO SAY also in the AFTERLIFE.....If he can't have Janet NOBODY will....

He will never let someone raise his son, he will not let Janet take Kaiden. Karyn was married 3 times, he had 2 step-fathers...that will not happen to his possession, his son, Kaiden.

He plans and plots Janet's murder. He started putting the plans in place in case she tried to leave him, when he took out the insurance policy (was this before or after Kaiden born...before or after he started embezzling?)

IMO - If Raven got angry at Janet or they fought and he killed her in a fit of anger, that would make all this an easier pill for me and for many people to swallow. It didn't happen that way. He coldly, premeditatedly, plotted and planned the murder of Janet, IMO, in which he has no remorse. I believe there is enough information on Websleuths alone to PROVE premeditation.

Raven will never repent for what he did, he lost the right to be married to Janet forever in the Church because of he planned, premeditated and murdered his wife and unborn child. God knows he did it, Janet knows he did it, he feels no remorse for what he did, only pity for what people on a message board put him through...

He literally wants people to PITY him for the way he is treated on this message board...

He will not get it from me, because in my heart and my soul I believe it was premeditated.

I don't know if he had a set date in his scary mind that was PC to marry. I believe this is a multifaceted issue. He obviously didn't mind becoming a thief again before his probation was up lol.

I believe he had been Mommy Shopping a long time and I believe they either got smart and started to see the real Raven or he was not able to control them the way he needed.

Raven has not just been "dating" girls - each one has been semi-serious to serious, but mostly on the serious "In-Love" relationships one right after the other. Whether the relationships failed because of WS or pressure from the girls family or they started to see the true Raven we can only speculate about.

It could be he felt they were not good enough for him is also an issue, because he likes "only the best" of everything, but he will never really have that in a female and he's resigned to it.

He needs to be married because it looks good, or in his mind it makes him look innocent.
 
From Term's post directly above mine, it is stated that Janet finds out that their house is rented, not purchased.:eek::eek: I've never seen this addressed before, although it could be here and I missed it. Wow, what a shock to find out.. kind of like the embezzlements. He lied and lied and lied so he could play with his toys and try to act like a big shot at soccer.

How could someone who had an accounting/ finance type background like Janet, and who was smart, like Janet was, not know if they were buying or renting their house? Did he have fake mortgage papers forged somewhere?
If it was a purchase, is NC a state where both husband and wife don't have to sign the sale closing paperwork?
Help me understand this. Janet was a smart young woman, IMO.

Maria
 

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