Australia - Allison Baden-Clay, 43, Brisbane QLD, 19 April 2012 - #11

[marlywings]

May I just add to my previous post...that guy must have had one hell of a diary!!!!!

 

[Greg]

I could understand a person under immense stress/ grief/ anxiety having a bingle with their car. Mind elsewhere, possibly sleep deprived, not concentrating..........I did it myself once (though a far milder bump of the car) when I was in a significant state of stress....though nothing compared to what GBC is going through.

His response to the media when questioned about it was probably......you've got to be joking.... I am being asked about how I am after a minor car crash that in normal circumstances wouldn't be newsworthy, at such a time as this (wife missing)! What man of his age gets interviewed by the media about a car crash of that nature? He could even be embarrassed that he crashed. How was he supposed to respond to the question? At the time of the interview he may also have been on medication due to any injury sustained in the crash or even medication related to mental health due to anxiety/ stress. Medications would have an effect on his response to the media/ level of alertness etc.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks

 

[Nads]

Yet some women in a situation like that also choose to stay for the sake of, to do the right thing, for the children.

I often think, poor children living in such an unfriendly, hostile and insecure environment especially if domestic violence (physical and or psychological) is involved. I can't see how that is good for any child.

It's a mystery to me why some stay, though I do know that there are those cases where some women live in fear of what could happen if they leave an abusive spouse because of being threatened by them if they do, but that's not the type of situation I'm meaning.

It does my head trying to figure why anyone want their child to live under those conditions?

Marriages can survive after infidelity and much marriage counselling, and with less hostility between the parents. This is obviously what Allison would have been hoping for. Someone like Allison wouldn't have wanted to fail in her marriage and the life she had set up around her, and would have wanted a normal family upbringing for her girls. She must have thought it was still possible. But not, I don't think, if she found out it was still continuing. Which I think is the crux to this whole situation.

 

[mountainhigh]

I just have two question for you: Have you ever been cheated on? Do you know how it feels? I have no sympathy for any mistress! A woman is dead!

Answer is yes and yes.
we don't know that the woman is dead because her husband couldnt keep his pecker in his pants...
that s a big call.
are you also saying that any woman outside of his marriage intimately associated with this rat over the last 15 years of his marriage now has blood on their hands?????

 

[Nads]

May I just add to my previous post...that guy must have had one hell of a diary!!!!!

No doubt lots of code names for TMs in the diary.

I remember reading, and seeing by googling, that TM and GBC co-represented lots of properties. That would have been convenient for them. The ownwes of those properties must be wondering now if there were any trysts taking place in their home.

 

[Rational]

Then there'a the other side. Female Police officer married to an alcoholic. Trying to concentrate at work wondering if he's going to put the kids in the car and drive somewhere,or fall asleep smoking and burn the house and kids down. How could I let people know what was going on at home and have any credibility in my work.
One day I just got the kids and walked out in the clothes we were standing up in after 20 years .
QPS was great organised a Police house etc.
I felt like someone had been holding me under water and I had broken through the surface. I took that first big breath and the sun was shining....
Now I'm having a cry,,,,[/QUOTE]

Maxymoo ... Crying when it is over and finished is better than crying because you cannot bring up the courage to go. You had courage and you are now in a better place. You deserve everything that is good now! Have a big hug.

 

[possumheart]

I didn't want to say this but I have known men like GBC and women who like philandering 'bad boys'. Sometimes one woman will leave lovebites and/or scratches to mark their lover ... as a message to the other lover/s. And women who have affairs inside organisations usually do it for the pillow talk more than for the sex. It gives them a sense of power.

 

[Maxymoo]

he actually did look really embarrassed and sheepish in that interview!
also i was wondering, when allisons body was found, would her parents or husband have had to identify her body/remains or would the police have used dental records etc?

Nest of Kin usually attend the morgue and ID the deceased. So that would be GBC unless he couldn't wouldn't then I would think dad or sister.

 

[bearbear]

Nest of Kin usually attend the morgue and ID the deceased. So that would be GBC unless he couldn't wouldn't then I would think dad or sister.

thankyou. how sad for whoever did, something they will never ever forget. im hoping it wasnt her father who had to do it.

 

[Rational]

Thanks Vibes. So many of us all on here trying to get closure for Allison but maybe also for ourselves. Big hug!

 

[Fuskier]

I think the reason most people reacted the way they did when the story of the affair came out is because most were feeling out-raged that GBC was reportedly out socializing at the Brookfield Show when his wife was not even cold in her grave.....oh but wait, I forgot, she had already been cold for 10/11 days, lying discarded in a dirty creek.

I try to stay open-minded and not get too emotionally involved with this case, but the thought of Allison lying in that creek, in the cold and dark for 10/11 day, is the one thing that just haunts me.

Agreed wholeheartedly, this forum is victim friendly and about sleuthing the case about Allison's death.

 

[Aussie_expat.sg]

Lovely to read your post and I'm so glad my story and those of others did some good. I'm glad you are getting 'you' back and getting in touch with happiness. I am hoping I can do the same in time, but even though its now been quite a few years since that relationship ended for me, I have been struggling with major depression and I've never fully recovered. It's been a very hard road back, I've been absolutely 'gutted' to put it in very raw terms.

(snipped) There are many differing views here and that is fine, but there is also so much misunderstanding about the profile of men who are narcissistic, have multiple infidelities, and who abuse, physically hurt and even kill women. It can be very hard to read some of the simplistic descriptions of the circumstances (if it was GBC as the perp) such as it being DV 'gone wrong', an 'accident', that he didn't mean to kill her, and that Allison would have known about the affairs and been OK with it.

Due to the rules on here I have really had to bite my tongue, so to speak, and try to educate and put my point of view without attacking or criticising other posters. Sometimes it's been very hard but everyone has had a different experience in life that shapes their point of view. I hope to add more as the days go on - keeping the rules in mind and trying to relate it to the actual case. During my recovery and time in the damaging relationship, I did a massive amount of reading about personality profiles and behaviours, and during counselling my therapist educated me over a long period of time as well, directing me to many professional and mainstream reading. It helped me to understand what happened and how some of these people work, and I do think that can help understand some aspects of what may have happened to Allison.

Oh dear...I think I may have said "DV gone overboard". I certainly didn't mean to suggest that I think DV is ok...sorry if that was taken that way.

 

[KatiKutloose]

Then there'a the other side. Female Police officer married to an alcoholic. Trying to concentrate at work wondering if he's going to put the kids in the car and drive somewhere,or fall asleep smoking and burn the house and kids down. How could I let people know what was going on at home and have any credibility in my work.
One day I just got the kids and walked out in the clothes we were standing up in after 20 years .
QPS was great organised a Police house etc.
I felt like someone had been holding me under water and I had broken through the surface. I took that first big breath and the sun was shining....
Now I'm having a cry,,,,

Tears of joy I hope.

 

[mountainhigh]

Answer is yes and yes.
we don't know that the woman is dead because her husband couldnt keep his pecker in his pants...
that s a big call.
are you also saying that any woman outside of his marriage intimately associated with this rat over the last 15 years of his marriage now has blood on their hands?????

further to that Case Closed I have never been a big fan of the term home wrecker or been hell bent on blaming anyone for adultry other than the cheating spouse themselves.
If my wife were to cheat on me, I would blame nobody and I mean nobody OTHER than her!!
what does the other guy owe me?? not one thing. did he stand at the alter next to me and wisper in my ears 'for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health'
No he bloody well didn't....
People naturally aren't going to like the 'other person' terribly much or get them around for friday night drinks once the dust settles...
its a selfish world out there and frankly I don't expect anyone in this world to owe me. I do however thinnk we should expect mutal love and respect and loyalty from OUR OWN partners..

The only difference here is that this was happening under poor old Allison's nose....TM deserves a hard kick up the *advertiser censored** for that and probably a lot more..
But she wasnn't married to allison...This rat was!!!!

 

[Rational]

Now Maxymoo 'nest of 'pashin' kin' would be a great title for a movie. Conjures up all sorts of images and a fairly good description of what we have been talking about for weeks!!

 

[pudwink]

Maxymoo

Then there'a the other side. Female Police officer married to an alcoholic. Trying to concentrate at work wondering if he's going to put the kids in the car and drive somewhere,or fall asleep smoking and burn the house and kids down. How could I let people know what was going on at home and have any credibility in my work.
One day I just got the kids and walked out in the clothes we were standing up in after 20 years .
QPS was great organised a Police house etc.
I felt like someone had been holding me under water and I had broken through the surface. I took that first big breath and the sun was shining....
Now I'm having a cry,,,,

Brave, wonderful lady...xx

 

[Detect]

The alternate question is what if a person or people has been deliberately trying to make it look like GBC is guilty to cover themselves? If they already know that in these types of cases the husband is the prime suspect it wouldn't be hard to divert attention from themselves onto him.....especially if you knew the couple well.

Could it be possible for someone to plant incriminating evidence on someone else's (like GBC's) computer or phone to save themselves? Could it even be possible for the person to use the GBC's car in removing Allison to wherever they left her; to make it look like it was GBC? Could the perpetrators be set on starting and growing rumours about GBC that bring him down and make him look more the villain?

People capable of such a heinous act as murder could very well capable of trying to shift the blame to others. I am sure that police deal with that everyday.

I well understand that my questions could be phrased in the reverse too (meaning that if GBC did it that he was trying to make someone else look like they did it.).

If these ideas are correct (and they are just questions and ideas and not fact) then this could be one reason that GBC has been fairly silent. If you know that people will try and label you as the perp why not just keep quiet and let the rubbish take its course and eventually be exposed for what it is rather than getting into a fruitless "tit for tat" "he said she said" type of game that goes no where. Could he well be in a position where what ever he says and does it is seen as wrong and so he says quiet

Again these are just thoughts and questions. For the sake of his daughters and himself and all of the family I sincerely hope that he is innocent (regardless of the horrid affair (s)). But likewise if he has done the crime then he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. If he has done it, I don't know how he will live with himself.....look at what happened to the father of Darcy Freeman. The last media coverage of him reflected someone in a very bad state in terms of mental health.

Pretty clever Perp. Kills ABC for whatever reason (seems she was a nice lady - hard to believe she had enemies), then somehow gets the car keys, drives around with ABC in the car, dumps her body, replaces the car, puts the keys back where he/she got them from, then proceeds to set up GBC. IMO that's a long stretch.

 

[Thinking]

Firstly, there is an assumption that GBC actually had scratches prior to reporting Allison missing. We need evidence of this. Secondly, if he did, then there is an assumption that Allison put them there. There is no evidence for this. Given that he allegedly had other lovers, it is equally possible that one of them scratched him - is it not?

It sure is possible Fuskier and as I said, I was merely speculating

The point of my comment was to ask if anyone believed scratching was usually an act of self defence, that's all. The rest was indeed admitted speculation, not backed up by any facts.

 

[Detect]

How do I tee that up.....you know get them to steal my identity....but in doing so they also have to take the massive mortgage, the crap job, the domineering wife, the out of control kids, the brain dead inlaws, the even worse siblings and the ****** car.....hmmm did I miss anything ...If I have ill post it to them from the Bahama's!!!

:woohoo:

LOL. Thanks for that Greg. Brightened my day no end

 

[Fuskier]

Allison rest in peace. Your passing is an absolute tragedy, but if any good can come of this at all, lets hope it is that DV is no longer a taboo subject and lets make people aware that it is out there and growing. DV needs to be stopped.

My apologies if I upset anyone.

Cheers.

Well said. If Allison had been able to leave her marriage earlier, maybe she would still be here today. If we could encourage women to leave their marriage when it gets bad, go, take the kids, get legal support from Women's Legal Services and fix up the legal paperwork as a priority.The dream you imagined is over if you are suffering DV. Don't worry about the earthly possessions - they can be sorted later or you may choose to leave them behind. Your life is more important. You can get financial assistance to start again anyway. We need more available housing for women to leave home and have a short-term stay until the legals and social supports can get sorted.