Australia - Allison Baden-Clay, 43, Brisbane QLD, 19 April 2012 - #11

[Thinking]

Do you think that gbc's silence / lack of searching or apparent public concern may have been because he knew that if all this stuff about the affairs came out, he would just look like a total hypocrite?

 

[Janek]

Story on ACA now

"It is believed police have a suspect" Tracy Grimshaw (ACA host said)

 

[minni]

Since catching up last night and reading itsthevibe and Minni as well as responses from most of you I have hardly been able to sleep.

The openness with which you relayed your personal stories really hit home hard for me, initially. After thinking about it or most of the night I truly believe that one of the best things to come out of this forum is that some of the women on here have been able to say things that I have felt and known for a long time about myself but have never really confronted. I too lived with someone who was an absolute narcissist. Believe it or not I actually slept on a floor for 6 months because he believed that This was a good thing!! LOL I am no idiot had a high powered job but was totally sucked in. Once I was, well and truly, he started behaving differently, getting angry, disappearing, being online trawling the sites for so-called friends, etc etc (most of you will know the story).

I moved back to my 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom beachfront apartment that had stood empty for months and fell into a very deep depression out of which I have only recently emerged. I resigned my job, took early retirement,got two dogs, and starting running a small hostel for international students.

I really believe that out of all the bad stuff that has surfaced I relation to Allison's murder there are also some good things.i went for a walk with the dogs this morning and for the very first time in a long time I felt good about myself, and could almost laugh about how stupid I had been. This would not have happened withoutme being on this site and reading all the different personal stories of many of you. I cried last night with relief knowing I am not the only one, but thank god I survived but sadly Allison didn't.

I hope that there is a way in which we can give our daughters, nieces, friends the confidence in themselves and the knowledge to know that being with someone like that is not ok but hat you can talk about it with others who have been in similar situations or who understand.

Sorry Mods I know this is off topic but i really needed to share.

Thank you all again.

Thanks for sharing Rational.....it is very hard to speak out most of the time, especially when you are in the midst of the situation, but also after. It changes you a lot and it takes a long time to find yourself again. I think this forum has been wonderful in this respect. and to be able to hide a little behind the keyboard helps to open up a bit. I still find it hard to believe how many intelligent and kindhearted woman live their lives like this. Its tragic that Allison didnt get a chance to move past this part of her life.

 

[Paradox11]

hurry paradox

I rest my case.

 

[linette]

I agree with this. In my experience of growing up in a DV household, there are bruises, cracked teeth, and stitches required when DV happens; and people need to go to the doctor. You can't hide it. Everybody knows about it.

The police turned up all the time and all the neighbours knew everything that happened. And also in my experience my mother gave as bad as she got. My father got arrested all the time, but as a young kid I knew that sometimes my mother should have been the one to be arrested. Oddly enough their marriage lasted. They were both in their 80s when they passed away, and were still together, and still arguing and fighting into their 80s. Not saying this is good (in fact it was totally *advertiser censored***; just saying I don't think you can hide DV, unless it's DV that is more of a psychologically thing; i.e. putting your partner down all the time to make yourself feel better.

Some of the violent partners are very cunning though. Mine always told me how you could really hurt someone without leaving a mark. ... and he showed me first hand. Alot of the time nobody else knows... as in my case. Alot of people did not like him, but they would never have thought he'd do the things he did. My own mother didn't have a clue... I knew better than to let on what was happening. Everyone in the house knew to shut their mouths. Yes, I had bruises plenty of times, but they were the days we didn't go anywhere and were too 'busy' to have anyone over. Know what I mean?

 

[CaseClosed]

A Current Affair on 9 just had a whole segment about this case. Basically same info as reported on CM yesterday, with a recount of the whole thing until now and also photos of TM. Confirmed that police is looking into the financial affairs of the family and that police have a suspect, but still wish for people to contact CrimeStoppers with any info which may assist.

 

[barrosa]

Wow current affair well that says it all IMO .

 

[marlywings]

Again, here you have not responded to any of my questions except one.

How have I slammed or attacked you? Please link to or quote a post where this is so? You have on several occasions directly replied to and challenged my opinons, and in at least one instance insulted my intelligence. Another poster even pointed out how condecending you were being and you agreed that you were.

I have only ever challenged the content of your posts that were aimed at me specifically. I beleive I have done so in a fair and objective manner. If you can't hack the responses to your posts I suggest you engage with someone else.

I'm not taking anyone's side here...just passing this post in...

I think mountainhigh's reply to your original multiple question post was all caught up in the quote box.

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7945061&postcount=340"]Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - Australia - Allison Baden-Clay, 43, Brisbane QLD, 19 April 2012 - #11[/ame]

 

[crissyz]

I just missed it been waiting for 10 mins, but I think I'm 10 mins too late

 

[Detect]

Wow current affair well that says it all IMO .

CaseClosed was just letting us know what was said. Thank you CaseClosed

 

[Paradox11]

Another poster stated "True sociopaths are rare".

Umm, no, they are not... Believe me.

Can you expand on this opinion? Dare I ask

 

[Sooner Fan#1]

A Current Affair on 9 just had a whole segment about this case. Basically same info as reported on CM yesterday, with a recount of the whole thing until now and also photos of TM. Confirmed that police is looking into the financial affairs of the family and that police have a suspect, but still wish for people to contact CrimeStoppers with any info which may assist.

Can you post a link to that article? I'd like to read it, I'm trying to catch up on today's threads. Who is CM?

 

[CaseClosed]

Sorry Off Topic now self .. I think the point is not to educate victims of DV, but to change the behaviour of perpetrators and of course prevention.
IMO

The problem, IMO, is you can't change: 1. personality disorders, 2. sever alcoholism, and 3. society's indoctrinated believe that men are somehow superior and the "head of the family", hence their spouses are their property to do as the want.

IMO it would be easier to educate women to learn to pick up early on the signs and provide support to leave a DV situation.

 

[True]

Re: The Dickies being in company or near GBC at the Brookfield Show.

Has anyone stopped to think that maybe the police have told the Dickies to just act normal so GBC will have doubts he's the prime suspect to them, which will keep him somewhat loose and more likely to screw up?

If it were my daughter and the polic said that to me, I'd happily accompany him to the MOOOON if it meant getting evidence that's going to put him away and get justice. It's not uncommon in the USA for police to make allies out of people to put criminals away. Wonder if that's the case?

 

[Blacklodge]

Damn I love the people on here. Such a myriad of emotions, minds and personalities. As other people have stated, this forum has engulfed my life. Overtaken my interests and has captivated me more than any favourite DVD or tv series! I promise I do have a life! It's just on hold at the moment, that is until these discussions are at an end. Sorry dexter, fringe and walking dead, I will have to get back to you!

 

[Rational]

Why would the kids have to have been at a sleepover even if Allison went to the hairdresser and had an early start? Surely GBC could have handled it or was he never around to do that. Just now has struck me as odd! It was a weekday. I think I fell into he trap thinking sure at haiirdresser, early start for mum; ok for kids to be somewhere else. But really when the father is here why would you??

 

[minni]

Damn I love the people on here. Such a myriad of emotions, minds and personalities. As other people have stated, this forum has engulfed my life. Overtaken my interests and has captivated me more than any favourite DVD or tv series! I promise I do have a life! It's just on hold at the moment, that is until these discussions are at an end. Sorry dexter, fringe and walking dead, I will have to get back to you!

its been a little life changing hasn't it?

 

[Paradox11]

I'm not taking anyone's side here...just passing this post in...

I think mountainhigh's reply to your original multiple question post was all caught up in the quote box.

Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - Australia - Allison Baden-Clay, 43, Brisbane QLD, 19 April 2012 - #11

Thank you Marlywings for pointing this out. I wish MH had explained this more clearly. I will try and address this hopefully tonight is my internet does not crap out.

 

[Amee]

Why would the kids have to have been at a sleepover even if Allison went to the hairdresser and had an early start? Surely GBC could have handled it or was he never around to do that. Just now has struck me as odd! It was a weekday. I think I fell into he trap thinking sure at haiirdresser, early start for mum; ok for kids to be somewhere else. But really when the father is here why would you??

IMO I think the children were at home Thursday night and GBC's sister took them to school Friday morning.

 

[mountainhigh]

Wow current affair well that says it all IMO .

yep, that's it. sunday mail one day, ACA the next.
Toni it is!
case closed..
shut the forum!
which poster offered drinks at their house once it was cracked??
whoever it is, im on my way! paradox I'll pick you up on the way