Australia - Allison Baden-Clay, 43, Brisbane QLD, 19 April 2012 #20

[itsthevibe]

Taken with love and respect....(((((HUGS)))))

I think what happens, in EVERY case, where we go off track, whether it be because of our experiences, laughter and at times stupidity, is that something that is said in relation to Allison, strikes a chord......and because everyone is here, we tend to make our responses here. It's not deliberate.

Ill be honest everytime I go to the chat room, no-one is there....Its so hard to know how to do it right.

Yes, i think that's the thing - this latest lot of posts about our relationships started because minni contributed very relevant thoughts to the case - re the possible relationship of Allison & GBC. This sort of thing is useful in relation to profiling, and speculating about the likelihood of certain behaviours.

Then of course the responses keep coming and we are suddenly off-topic. It's always going to be hard to decide exactly when we either stop the discussion and get back on track, or take the discussion somewhere else such as the chat room.

 

[louisepiglet]

After reading the stories from members here of domestic abuse( both physical and mental) I beg everyone to teach their daughters that this is not ok. The VERY FIRST TIME a man tries to control you and make you feel like you are in the wrong stand up and say NO I will not put up with this ****. Abusers are bullies and bullies will back down if challenged. As a mother of sons I am teaching them that every person deserves respect. If we all teach our children that domestic abuse is not OK maybe one day this would not be the terrible problem it is now. Or maybe I am too naive.

 

[Blacklodge]

I love all of you brave ladies, willough, Berry, Keentoknow, Manni to name a few. It's women like you that inspire others to speak out against that which we usually strive to hide for fear of shame, vulnerability and exposure. Allison would have been so lucky to have known you all.

 

[willough]

Yes, i think that's the thing - this latest lot of posts about our relationships started because minni contributed very relevant thoughts to the case - re the possible relationship of Allison & GBC. This sort of thing is useful in relation to profiling, and speculating about the likelihood of certain behaviours.

Then of course the responses keep coming and we are suddenly off-topic. It's always going to be hard to decide exactly when we either stop the discussion and get back on track, or take the discussion somewhere else such as the chat room.

Precisely, you hit the nail on the head. I find it hard because at times, I think to just speak links and proof, means that although it is abiding by TOS, it's not abiding to the way Allison would want it.

Allison would want people to talk it out (maybe something she should have done more ). Though I understand this forum isnt just about Allison, it is about many a death/crime and rules must be abided by.

Im not sure how we get around it.....People will always talk about how parts of their own lives relate to this (or use themselves to explain how something re the case)........and although some may not like, it is to me better to be open (as it helps the living).....than to be closed off. Which is why, when I think something is wrong, I write it here....I dont run to moderators or PMs, thats just not my style. I prefer to be open and have everyone see my thoughts.......Not, run behind backs.

 

[KG1]

I would know first hand on how much abuse we tolerate.......My daughter was murdered as well. I have no more to say.

Keentoknow, I am shocked and so very sad and sorry for your loss. May you remain strong and know that people here feel very strongly about the taking of another's life. Nothing justifies that behaviour.

 

[Aunty]

I would know first hand on how much abuse we tolerate.......My daughter was murdered as well. I have no more to say.

OMG
That makes me so angry! :banghead:
Im So so sorry for your daughter and the pain you are in. Hugs to you. Xxoo
I hope they caught him

 

[willough]

I think Keentoknow went offline soon after her post......Blessed dear....I sure hope she is OK.

 

[Rational]

Precisely, you hit the nail on the head. I find it hard because at times, I think to just speak links and proof, means that although it is abiding by TOS, it's not abiding to the way Allison would want it.

Allison would want people to talk it out (maybe something she should have done more ). Though I understand this forum isnt just about Allison, it is about many a death/crime and rules must be abided by.

Im not sure how we get around it.....People will always talk about how parts of their own lives relate to this (or use themselves to explain how something re the case)........and although some may not like, it is to me better to be open (as it helps the living).....than to be closed off. Which is why, when I think something is wrong, I write it here....I dont run to moderators or PMs, thats just not my style. I prefer to be open and have everyone see my thoughts.......Not, run behind backs.

Willough you said it perfectly :tyou:

 

[Blacklodge]

Minni I meant. Geez after that earlier thread. Please blame the fact that I have been watching black books. Sorry Minni. *advertiser censored* have to send love to itsthevibe also xx

 

[ollijack]

I think it is perfectly healthy the way this forum runs. We are just ordinary people and this is a very cruel subject matter. Keep going the way we are going. It's excellent happy sad frightening serious dull and irreverent at times. That's why it works. Xxxxxx

 

[minni]

Iy

Yes, i think that's the thing - this latest lot of posts about our relationships started because minni contributed very relevant thoughts to the case - re the possible relationship of Allison & GBC. This sort of thing is useful in relation to profiling, and speculating about the likelihood of certain behaviours.

Then of course the responses keep coming and we are suddenly off-topic. It's always going to be hard to decide exactly when we either stop the discussion and get back on track, or take the discussion somewhere else such as the chat room.

Your right, Itsthevibe, its scary how quickly a topic becomes personal and relevant to your own story. Its rather amazing how easy it is to want to share with many people on this forum...sometimes I feel very connected when I am here, usually, actually

 

[willough]

I think it is perfectly healthy the way this forum runs. We are just ordinary people and this is a very cruel subject matter. Keep going the way we are going. It's excellent happy sad frightening serious dull and irreverent at times. That's why it works. Xxxxxx

Excuse MEeeeeeeeee.....We are not ordinary....We are EXTRAORDINARY....Laughing

Nah....You are so right with what you write......Tis, like life...."excellent, happy, sad, frightening serious dull and irreverent at times" A mixed bag, indeed. xox

 

[mountainhigh]

Dear Minnie and MH, I have been here since the third thread and have read your posts as credible. The reason I even searched what happened to Allison plus why would any Bne woman would walk at night intrigued me as... No way. I've lived as a single girl in Bne plus have relatives in high socio economic areas that do not walk at night. I am married with awesome neighbors and guard dogs and forgive me but we do discuss who the guard dog barks at. She has a name. Welcome any thoughts you have. cheers.

No biggie, was making light of the situation late on a Sunday evening!
Most things no matter how small (within reason) are relevant and worth talking about.
I just haven't read much into the neighbour's dog bark, personally, given the overall inconsistencies reported by the media surrounding this case, particularly some of the fine detail. I haven been intrigued and more interested in the big picture I guess, which is mostly the only accuracy you can rely upon because it has generally come direct from the QPS.
If only we knew ALL of the finer detail we'd be in a much better place right now, as would the Police it seems. Although I think its a given that they know as much as they need to, proving it seems is the sticking point.

 

[CaseClosed]

I'm having trouble with this rumour that police can't link someone to the discovery site under the bridge. Am sure there are many murder cases in history when someone has been charged with murder without having found evidence of their presence a the site where the body was found. There are also people that have been charged without having discovered the body. i don't understand this.

The crime scene was not under the bridge, i.e. she was placed/landed there after having been murdered. It would make more sense if they were referring to not being able to link the body to the perp, by some forensic evidence (like DNA, fibres, etc.).

 

[itsthevibe]

Precisely, you hit the nail on the head. I find it hard because at times, I think to just speak links and proof, means that although it is abiding by TOS, it's not abiding to the way Allison would want it.

Allison would want people to talk it out (maybe something she should have done more ). Though I understand this forum isnt just about Allison, it is about many a death/crime and rules must be abided by.

Im not sure how we get around it.....People will always talk about how parts of their own lives relate to this (or use themselves to explain how something re the case)........and although some may not like, it is to me better to be open (as it helps the living).....than to be closed off. Which is why, when I think something is wrong, I write it here....I dont run to moderators or PMs, thats just not my style. I prefer to be open and have everyone see my thoughts.......Not, run behind backs.

Yes, I understand what you mean. Maybe we just need to be mindful of getting back on track and not going on too long. Whenever I have posted about things like that, things that have affected me personally, it has been to actually provide some wisdom and perhaps explain some misconceptions people might have about some of these situations, which are shown through a lot of simplistic comments about why they think someone might not beheave a certain way etc.

People in general don't understand the complexity of human behaviour and often look at things through the eyes of someone emotionally healthy, not realising this might be what they would do, but not necessarily what someone who had a twisted mind would do. I'm not being critical of anyone, just saying that the knowledge of these things generally is limited. With extreme situations such as those some of us here have been through, it is hard for others to understand. Our insights are useful in this case I think. And I do believe Allison would be pleased with us if she was reading this forum, if that was at all possible. It's just a shame that when you are living in an abusive relationship you are usually very isolated and would never get to connect with other women who have been through the same thing.

 

[Rational]

Good night everyone, another big day!

 

[minni]

I agree that we have rules that we must abide by.

I wish with all of my heart, though, that Allison could have have had someplace like this! Where she might have been able to talk about her situation like some of us have had the chance to.

I believe this coming together and connectedness so many of us have experienced, would make Allison smile
IMO

 

[Blacklodge]

I agree that we have rules that we must abide by.

I wish with all of my heart, though, that Allison could have have had someplace like this! Where she might have been able to talk about her situation like some of us have had the chance to.

I believe this coming together and connectedness so many of us have experienced, would make Allison smile
IMO

Me too Minni. I guess that's what kerrie Ann walker meant by ' I wish I had done more'. I wish I could have helped her too.

 

[CaseClosed]

Me too Minni. I guess that's what kerrie Ann walker meant by ' I wish I had done more'. I wish I could have helped her too.

Perhaps one of the first steps to eradicate DV is for victims to speak out to their families, make them aware of what is going on. i believe that if each victim's family/close friends know, and the partner knows these other people know, maybe they will learn to control their urges to be violent against their partners and/or children.

 

[beach]

Temporarily closing while it is under review.


I see some really ugly posts on here. While I have it closed and am reviewing, please review your own posts. If you have participated in the personal attacks I am seeing on here, this is your chance to edit/delete them yourselves. Better you do it than me.

Will re-open shortly.