I have six kids (my username is outdated lol) from 1-21 and you can tell just driving by my house. I try hard to have them clean up the outside toys but Id rather they be outside having fun than have an immaculate yard. We are more free spirited, laid back, outdoorsy, natural consequence type of attachment parents but we also believe everything in moderation. We buy organic and limit sodas and junk and prefer our kids interact and play outdoors but we eat out, fill stockings with candy, and have days of PS4 battles and movie marathons.
Im also so baffled by the penny in the pocket incident. I dont even understand why that was a punishable offense, let alone an I lost control incident. We dont spank but I can certainly understand getting angry and overreacting. I just dont understand how a penny in a little childs pocket could anger anyone. It just screams of deeper issues to me.
I keep wondering about the factors, here, and their context. The outcome remains the same, of course, and so does my opinion of what happened. I think the crash was intentional. These moms had serious, serious issues - anger, resentment, possible mental illness, etc. Every one of the Harts should have been in therapy; the kids needed long-term care from professionals to help them along. It seems like the kids were largely props, or vehicles for devotion/love/validation for one if not both moms.
I wonder about things like the penny incident. It is possible that the child had an issue with hoarding, survival stealing, or something else, and the penny was somewhat of a backslide into old behaviors. The appropriate response from the mom would have been to do something like sit with the child and talk to them about how they were feeling when they saw the penny, or maybe what happened that day before they took the penny, etc. The mothers WILDLY abusive response screams control issues, violent behavior patterns, and total lack of support systems for the kids (i.e therapists, doctors, teachers with IEP plans, etc).
Im thinking one mom was bipolar or similar, and exhibited impulsive behavior that spiraled - lets adopt a ton of kids with special needs! Lets live off the land! Lets move to a huge house! Lets drive off a cliff! - and got her way, either by the other mom being too railroaded to say no OR being such a pleaser that she caved.
Either way, its horrible. There was so much help available for these moms to care for their kids (if they really wanted the kids anyway) and for the kids to thrive. They obviously had access to doctors and programs and so on, and either thought they were corrupt or that they as moms could do better than, say, professionals (UGH). All the huggy, touchy crap is so detrimental to kids with RAD/abuse backgrounds/sensory issues (any kids, really), and the fact that the moms were pushing them to be these little faux-love machines is so out of touch with the reality of the situation its staggering.
I am hoping that Devonte and his sibs are camping somewhere with some off-the-grid family friends who have no idea whats going on, and they will wander into a store soon and be noticed straightaway. I keep seeing Devontes smile... despite everything, that kid had light in him. I hope he is out there and he and his sisters get to pick up and have a great life. Unlikely, but I hope.
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