CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #17

[LadyBugSTL]

When my kids were 13 they slept with their phones beside them whenever possible. They could not hear me trying to wake them up for school, but they could hear their cell announcing a new text message.

ITA! When my son was 13, could not hear the alarm going off (or my trying to wake him) when it was time to wake for school, but if his cell (which was always set to vibrate at night as my husband is a light sleeper and can hear a faucet dripping from the other end of the house) vibrated because of a text message or email he was always awake in an instant!

I also have to add that if we were attempting to wake him for any other reason than school, especially if hubby and I awoke on a given morning and decided to make an impulsive very early morning visit to a nearby and much loved local restaurant that happens to make the best pancakes in the universe, all I'd ever have to do is gently shake his shoulder, say the restaurant name, and no matter how late he was up the night before, how deep a sleep he was currently in, he'd be up like a shot, bright eyed and out the door with us in the next 10 minutes (and of course, back into bed with a full tummy as soon as we returned home. If it was something he wanted to do, or if he had plans that day, he was always up and ready to go, regardless of how much or little sleep he'd gotten the night before.

I'm aware that all kids are not wired the same, however, even if Dylan was the type to be a bit draggy if they were woke up early in the morning (as MR implies in the video), if Dylan turned in early as has been claimed, he should have had plenty of sleep and should not have been so sleepy that he'd missed his ride with MR after all his planning with his chums or too sleepy to respond to his friends text.......

(my opinion only, based on personal experience with numerous teenagers)

 

[Kamille]

I agree.

Let's look at Dylan's morning, reportedly.

He was way too tired to get up at 7:30 to catch a ride. So we have to assume he slept for at least another hour, if not more. So then he gets up and eats a bowl of cereal or probably two bowls, and watches Spongebob. Now it is about 9:30 at the earliest. Maybe 10 or 10:15.

Dad says he told Dylan he would be back by 11 to see about getting him into town. So why would Dylan go try and hitchhike or walk the 20 miles to his friends, when his dad was only about an hour from returning?

The only way I can see him doing that is if his friend texted and said he was leaving and Dylan needed to come immediately. But Dylan hadn't even contacts his friend. So I don't see the urgency at all.

And I don't see any chance that Dylan went off fishing by himself either. I think he as focused on going to meet up with his friends. Not going fishing alone in the cold remote woods. JMO

Not to mention that it was about 40 degrees that morning. Rather cold to be setting out on a 20 mile trek for the heck of it when all he had to do was wait an hour or two for a ride. Maybe watch some more tv or get on the computer to pass the time. Provided of course that his phone just gave out shortly after 8pm the night before during a text conversation with said friend and he didn't bother to inform his father of this.

And I can't see a 13, almost 14yr old boy, who had spent the day before discussing girls with the friend he was going to meet, getting up in the same clothes that he had been wearing for 24 hours, not taking a shower or brushing his hair or teeth, to go to the "city" to meet with this boy, and probably others he hadn't seen for a long time, for the day.

MOO

 

[katydid23]

ITA! When my son was 13, could not hear the alarm going off (or my trying to wake him) when it was time to wake for school, but if his cell (which was always set to vibrate at night as my husband is a light sleeper and can hear a faucet dripping from the other end of the house) vibrated because of a text message or email he was always awake in an instant!

I also have to add that if we were attempting to wake him for any other reason than school, especially if hubby and I awoke on a given morning and decided to make an impulsive very early morning visit to a nearby and much loved local restaurant that happens to make the best pancakes in the universe, all I'd ever have to do is gently shake his shoulder, say the restaurant name, and no matter how late he was up the night before, how deep a sleep he was currently in, he'd be up like a shot, bright eyed and out the door with us in the next 10 minutes (and of course, back into bed with a full tummy as soon as we returned home. If it was something he wanted to do, or if he had plans that day, he was always up and ready to go, regardless of how much or little sleep he'd gotten the night before.

I'm aware that all kids are not wired the same, however, even if Dylan was the type to be a bit draggy if they were woke up early in the morning (as MR implies in the video), if Dylan turned in early as has been claimed, he should have had plenty of sleep and should not have been so sleepy that he'd missed his ride with MR after all his planning with his chums or to sleepy to respond to his friends text.......

(my opinion only, based on personal experience with numerous teenagers)

I agree. Because he did not have to 'get ready' to go to his friends. they were probably going to go back to sleep if he was dropped off at 6:30. He probably could have rolled out of bed, walked to the truck, cat napped and then walked to his friends sliding door and gone in and back to sleep. JMO

 

[MissJ]

My ex, the father of my son was very abusive to me in every way. He was and is verbally and emotionally abusive to our son. We had a love/hate relationship for years after our divorce. That being said he paid his child support on time, was flexible about visits and I was able to talk to him about our sons needs and what was best for him. I for one think MR probably "did something" to his son and it has nothing to do with ex bashing or my feelings for my ex, it is pure rational reasoning. MOO

 

[TxJan1971]

Hmmmph. No one ever put me on a pedestal as an ex wife, either. EVEN THO: As a child support court liasion for the local welfare board, I had seen enuf men impoverished by child support they could not really pay even tho it was configured within the NJ system of guidelines for Child Support. So, I busted my child support down to 50% of the guidelines. Also the Judge ORDERED me to take possession of the house since I had 3 babies and he just had to look after himself. But I said eff that, I dont want his little crappy crackerbox of a house, I will get my own. I walked away from our house. I paid and DID the divorce myself. I never enforced the medical clause or the *advertiser censored* babysitting clause. I always thought my extreme kindness and leniency would give me some good karma for the future ---ya know sort of like a huge pay it forward....but guess what? Even as recently as within the last month my ex has been a huge p--k, ingrate, unhelpful to me now that MY chips are down...NOW I wish that I had been the cliched rotten ***** and I just left a message to him a week ago that when I had the chance I should have nailed him to a cross and screwed him within an inch of his cheap stingy life. How bitterly I regret my kindness. So just to say NOT ALL women want to give the man the stiffy...sometimes its the man what does the shafting. I really hope in this case its not the man trying to give the ultimate eff you. But I dont think so........pretty sure this rant will be deleted as it isn't PC and definitely veering towards the O/T. Sorry guys. Been lurking this whole thread and I really blew it with my first post.

Thank you for sharing! Those who have been through the wringer have every right to feel the way they do... and then some. Everyone has their own cross(es) to bear... Some are heavier than others. But you are certainly not in this journey alone, as I'm sure many others have gone before you... Hang in there ...

 

[angiefly2]

Being the mom of a boy - yes, my son would go outside to play by himself (still does) sometimes for just a few minutes and sometimes longer depending on what it is that he is doing.

I mentioned earlier that if Dylan didn't realize his phone had died then dad wouldn't have either. It could have bit the dust during the night unbeknownst to anyone.

Some of the alternative scenarios that I've considered:

1.) Dylan got bored waiting for dad to get back, cell phone wasn't working so he grabbed his fishing pole and walked across the street to that river that is a few yards away and empties into the reservoir. Someone followed him back to dad's from there.

2.) He either ran into someone he knows while he was outside or they came to the door "looking for dad" and they offered him a ride to his friend's. If someone came to the door looking for dad - they could have been a stranger to Dylan but he felt safe b/c the person seems to be a friend of his.

3.) Dad had multiple vehicles - maybe he was selling one and/or someone decided to steal one after he left that morning. They weren't expecting Dylan to be there so they abandoned the plan & instead took the witness and now they are really up the creek / in trouble (might explain the strange FB post from yesterday or today).

4.) Maybe someone knew Dylan was coming back into town and snatched him after dad left.

5.) Maybe dad really pizzed someone off or owes them big $$$ but are now freaked out and don't know what to do. Considering how tight lipped LE has been I'm sure we'd know if a ransom demand had been made.

I'm sure I could think of other potential scenarios but those are the main ones I have outside of what appears to be the most popular POI by the public.

:fence:

BBM
Does someone have a link to the FB post or can someone tell me what it's about? I haven't seen anything about this and I am trying to catch up. TIA

 

[Wild@Heart]

Not to mention that it was about 40 degrees that morning. Rather cold to be setting out on a 20 mile trek for the heck of it when all he had to do was wait an hour or two for a ride. MOO

Respectfully snipped and bolded.

In shorts!

 

[catswhiskers]

As I mentioned in my original post earlier... When a phone and/or battery dies it dies (I mean like for real dies not just running out of charge). There is no miraculous resurrection. He would not be able to look up his contact phone numbers to call from a land line. He may have plugged it in to charge thinking or hoping that was what had happened. If he decided to head out on his own he probably tossed it and the charger in his bag just in case.

I am less inclined to think he went out looking for a ride or walking to his friend's without leaving a note for his dad. I am more inclined to think that he may have popped outside for a few minutes to play.

I'm not sure why some people think it is so very strange for a NCP to tell their child who they rarely get to see and is trying to rebuild/establish a relationship that they don't want them to go to their friend's house the evening they land... especially after already losing one day's time together due to mechanical issues with the earlier flight.

I'm also not sure why it would be inconsiderate to take your teenage son shopping to pick out whatever groceries, snacks, etc. they prefer eat.

Heaven forbid a NCP should buy a new fishing pole to maybe spend a little father/son bonding time together.

Yes it is true that Dylan disappeared on his dad's watch. I would venture a guess that most children disappear on a parent's watch (NCP or CP). If my son disappeared on my watch or his dad's even if it was through no direct fault I know damn well that we both would be experiencing an unfathomable amount of guilt.

Mark still hasn't been named a POI, correct? Is he still being cooperative with LE? Those are legitimate questions (not snarky) simply because I haven't read every single post in a few days.

:fence:

I agree regarding the phone - it could have just died and nobody would realise until after it had been on the charger for a while with no results.

IMO if MR had been up at 6:30am and had no luck trying to rouse Dylan, then it would make sense to me that he (MR) would not need to rush out the door so early himself - if he didn't have to allow for a trip to Dylan's friends before attending to his appointments. I have difficulty getting my own boys up for bed at that hour pretty well every morning. If I am heading off to work and they are staying home (and yes it happens often) I am always yapping at them about chores I want done, or keeping the door locked - and I am lucky to get a grunt out of them in response. More often than not it's the muffled "Yes mum!!"

I've been surprised that more people don't think it would be reasonable for any parent to flat out refuse to pick their child up from the airport and deliver them straight to a friends home. Sadly, I also acknowledge that this could also be the starting point for any altercation between the two if that is indeed what happened.

The new article also makes mention of Dylan hitching a ride home - so it has happened at least once, and probably explains why ER said she had that conversation about hitchhiking with Dylan before he left. IMO a boy with growing confidence and comfortable in familiar surroundings (not to mention ticked off with his dad for disrupting his plans with friends) would have seen this as a means to get his own way and maybe annoy his dad at the same time.

I read the Durango Herald article and saw so much that I felt left doors open for other possibilities, and am shocked to read here that it has all been seen as more proof that MR is responsible. IMO even if we had confirmation from a neighbour that they had seen Dylan on Monday morning at MR's house - people would still be claiming MR was responsible - he had all day to do it etc.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Hmmmph. No one ever put me on a pedestal as an ex wife, either. EVEN THO: As a child support court liasion for the local welfare board, I had seen enuf men impoverished by child support they could not really pay even tho it was configured within the NJ system of guidelines for Child Support. So, I busted my child support down to 50% of the guidelines. Also the Judge ORDERED me to take possession of the house since I had 3 babies and he just had to look after himself. But I said eff that, I dont want his little crappy crackerbox of a house, I will get my own. I walked away from our house. I paid and DID the divorce myself. I never enforced the medical clause or the *advertiser censored* babysitting clause. I always thought my extreme kindness and leniency would give me some good karma for the future ---ya know sort of like a huge pay it forward....but guess what? Even as recently as within the last month my ex has been a huge p--k, ingrate, unhelpful to me now that MY chips are down...NOW I wish that I had been the cliched rotten ***** and I just left a message to him a week ago that when I had the chance I should have nailed him to a cross and screwed him within an inch of his cheap stingy life. How bitterly I regret my kindness. So just to say NOT ALL women want to give the man the stiffy...sometimes its the man what does the shafting. I really hope in this case its not the man trying to give the ultimate eff you. But I dont think so........pretty sure this rant will be deleted as it isn't PC and definitely veering towards the O/T. Sorry guys. Been lurking this whole thread and I really blew it with my first post.

I just knew you had to be from New Jersey when I read " stiffy" rofl!

Howdy neighbor and welcome to the thread


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[katydid23]

Being the mom of a boy - yes, my son would go outside to play by himself (still does) sometimes for just a few minutes and sometimes longer depending on what it is that he is doing.

I mentioned earlier that if Dylan didn't realize his phone had died then dad wouldn't have either. It could have bit the dust during the night unbeknownst to anyone.

Some of the alternative scenarios that I've considered:

1.) Dylan got bored waiting for dad to get back, cell phone wasn't working so he grabbed his fishing pole and walked across the street to that river that is a few yards away and empties into the reservoir. Someone followed him back to dad's from there.

2.) He either ran into someone he knows while he was outside or they came to the door "looking for dad" and they offered him a ride to his friend's. If someone came to the door looking for dad - they could have been a stranger to Dylan but he felt safe b/c the person seems to be a friend of his.

3.) Dad had multiple vehicles - maybe he was selling one and/or someone decided to steal one after he left that morning. They weren't expecting Dylan to be there so they abandoned the plan & instead took the witness and now they are really up the creek / in trouble (might explain the strange FB post from yesterday or today).

4.) Maybe someone knew Dylan was coming back into town and snatched him after dad left.

5.) Maybe dad really pizzed someone off or owes them big $$$ but are now freaked out and don't know what to do. Considering how tight lipped LE has been I'm sure we'd know if a ransom demand had been made.

I'm sure I could think of other potential scenarios but those are the main ones I have outside of what appears to be the most popular POI by the public.

:fence:

So sorry. I replied previously, but then edited it and messed up the entire post somehow.

Ok, I agree with the possibility of number two. Especially the idea that someone they knew might have seen Dad leaving that morning alone, and then popped by and offered Dylan a ride.

as for the playing outside theory, I don't see why D would have taken all of his belongings if he was going to play outside for a little bit.

 

[gngr~snap]

I haven't read through all of the post so sorry if this has been said already... but, MR wouldn't answer his phone for CR or ER (we've all discussed that already) but what if ER or CR were trying to get in touch with MR to tell him they had found or heard from DR (which we know wasn't the case) BUT how did MR know that it wasn't the case :waitasec: KWIM? Hope this makes sense.

:what: guess we know why he didn't answer...

Even if he was being interviewed by police... If my "ex" was calling I'd be answering thinking that my child had contacted them!!!

 

[Linda7NJ]

So sorry. I replied previously, but then edited it and messed up the entire post somehow.

Ok, I agree with the possibility of number two. Especially the idea that someone they knew might have seen Dad leaving that morning alone, and then popped by and offered Dylan a ride.

as for the playing outside theory, I don't see why D would have taken all of his belongings if he was going to play outside for a little bit.

Yeah, imagine that .... Then add to it.... The phone just up and died.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[cluciano63]

How could his phone have died without him knowing it? There is no way, IMO, he wouldn't have been trying to answer his friend or see his texts that night. He surely would have known if his phone stopped working, and made sure his father knew too.

 

[FootballMom]

So sorry. I replied previously, but then edited it and messed up the entire post somehow.

Ok, I agree with the possibility of number two. Especially the idea that someone they knew might have seen Dad leaving that morning alone, and then popped by and offered Dylan a ride.

as for the playing outside theory, I don't see why D would have taken all of his belongings if he was going to play outside for a little bit.

LOL! I was just trying to figure out what happened to your post(s).

I meant to include in scenario #1 that he would not have taken his backpack with him if he was just going out for a bit to play. He may have already packed up his things and had them waiting by the door so he'd be ready to roll when dad got home... especially if he was so excited as most believe.

Wasn't the weather super nice that day? I seem to recall that it was but I could be mistaken.

I also get the "hurmph, yuhh, mmmkay" response to questions asked of my comatose teen when he is trying to sleep. I also frequently hear; "nevermind, I don't want to get up, I'll go later/when you get back."

 

[catswhiskers]

So sorry. I replied previously, but then edited it and messed up the entire post somehow.

Ok, I agree with the possibility of number two. Especially the idea that someone they knew might have seen Dad leaving that morning alone, and then popped by and offered Dylan a ride.

as for the playing outside theory, I don't see why D would have taken all of his belongings if he was going to play outside for a little bit.

bbm and just trying to keep thinking outside the box. What if Dylan was up, packed and ready and waiting outside for his dad close to the time (11:30?) he said he was going to be back? He might have had all his gear with him ready to go - kicking stones or tossing a ball outside, when someone else rolled by?

 

[gngr~snap]

No we were the coolest, lol. There were 8 kids in our family so my parents gave up and got us our own phone number, even listed in the phone book. The phone was in the downstairs "powder room" to be fair to all.

O/T

The family down the street from us installed a PHONE BOOTH!!!

YEP! Fully equipped with a pay phone!
The kids had to use their allowance to pay 10 cents per out going call.

No 3 way calls no call waiting...

Boy they had some arguments!

On Topic...
The good ole days... when there was no excuse for a phone to die.
When people talked on the phone and could HEAR what was going on
in the background... and the tone of the person's voice they were SPEAKING to...

Cell phones are great... with pings and history of calls made, but somehow
I am not sure that they have done our children any favors....
I see it both ways... :dunno:

 

[Monroe12]

I just knew you had to be from New Jersey when I read " stiffy" rofl!

Howdy neighbor and welcome to the thread


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you Linda---you made me laff in spite of my grumpy self. That helps!!

 

[cluciano63]

Does anyone honestly believe that Dylan was A: done with his conversation with R when it ended or was cut off and/or B; That he would be unaware of his phone not working at any point that night and not tell his father

 

[catswhiskers]

How could his phone have died without him knowing it? There is no way, IMO, he wouldn't have been trying to answer his friend or see his texts that night. He surely would have known if his phone stopped working, and made sure his father knew too.

A theory anyway - his phone stopped working in the car on the way home to Vallecito, and this would not look any different to suddenly being out of charge. The phone gets plugged into the charger before bed, and then when Dylan reaches for it the next morning, assuming it's charged - but it's dead.

FWIW as far as using the landline goes - I don't know the cell number of my 13yo, and I only know my 15yo's because it was purchased at the same time as mine and the number is identical to mine except for the last digit. I don't know any of my immediate family's numbers come to think of it - they are all stored in my phones (landline included).

I keep telling people that my memory for phone/pin numbers has reached maximum absorption point!

:moo:

 

[Angelonline]

I'm curious if MR's cellphone was also turned off at 8pm ish.....

and then back on the next morning.

Very good question. The implication gave me chills when I read it.