CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #38

[catswhiskers]

My point is that I see a lot of people saying that MR doesn't say nasty things, but he does. He even disparages Dylan ("Who knows what goes on in a 13 year old's head?"). I am not convinced one way or the other. I also cannot turn a blind eye to what I consider extremely poor word choices on Mark's part. I don't care what he looks like or whether he gets child support or if he had sex in front of anyone's window. I care that Mark tries to make Elaine and Cory and even Dylan look like less with his words, so he can look like more. He does himself a disservice.

Honestly I am not being contrary here, but I don't know how that comment can be perceived as being disparaging. That to me seems a fairly common and innocuous comment to make about a young teenager, especially from a 50 year old man. I have a 13 year old boy and I have no clue what is going on in his head most of the time - and that's how he seems to like it

I did just try to search the transcript of the MB uncut interview to see the context of the offending comment, but it doesn't seem to be there. Maybe it was in one of the other interviews? Context makes all the difference, as does tone and intent for that matter. I've only heard MR speak of Dylan with fondness and concern.

:moo:

 

[JustJeannie]

So if a person refuses to take a test, can they be forced ? Anyone know what happens next ?

SBM

No, no one can be forced to take a polygraph. So if LE wants someone to take a test and they say no, LE just has to move on to something else.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

Genuine question here.

I'm in UK, so your legal system is different to ours and I can't believe we'd allow tv shows to do lie detector tests on people involved in a criminal investigation (even as victims).

As far as I am aware, a lie detector isn't magic and results aren't 100% perfect. So, you can pass one even if you are lying, and fail one if telling the truth, correct?

So, if MR failed a lie detector test on this tv show, and was later put on trial in connection to Dylan's disappearance, is there any chance whatsoever he could get a fair trial?

Whilst I understand people saying that going on Dr Phil will help get Dylan's story out there, personally I'm very uncomfortable with it. For me, it appears to be more about making entertainment out of peoples' trauma.

And is there really any place for lie detectors on national tv? They have been cheapened in my opinion, when used to prove or disprove paternity cases on trashy tv shows.

To have the family of a missing kid take one on a tv show .... well, I can't get my head around it. Trial by media in a whole new way.

Couldn't you say that any media coverage of true crime is making entertainment out of tragedy? Every show depends on ratings, and they will do whatever they can to draw viewers to their program.

 

[asyousay]

Honestly I am not being contrary here, but I don't know how that comment can be perceived as being disparaging. That to me seems a fairly common and innocuous comment to make about a young teenager, especially from a 50 year old man. I have a 13 year old boy and I have no clue what is going on in his head most of the time - and that's how he seems to like it

I did just try to search the transcript of the MB uncut interview to see the context of the offending comment, but it doesn't seem to be there. Maybe it was in one of the other interviews? Context makes all the difference, as does tone and intent for that matter. I've only heard MR speak of Dylan with fondness and concern.

:moo:

"Concern" - its all relative !!

For example he showed little or no concern when he could not reach Dylan on his way home from his appointments ... He showed even less concern when he got home and Dylan was not home , even tho he had told Dylan he would pick him up at 11am and Dylan had understood that ... He then shows a bigger lack of concern that he then goes off for a mid-afternoon nap !

So no concern on the morning that Dylan supposedly vanished from his house!!

:cow: :cow:

 

[katydid23]

The only thing I've seen is a comment about him loosing a lot of weight. I think anyone would be stressed, depressed or whatever term you would want to choose whether guilty or not.

Under these circumstances IMO, there is a higher probability of suicide.

If he killed himself, I would take it as a sign of his guilt. Why else would he end his life now? If he truly believes his ex took his son, then he would hang on, and get to see him again. He would probably receive full custody. So why kill yourself? Unless you knew what really happened and it wasn't good.

 

[Confusion]

If he killed himself, I would take it as a sign of his guilt. Why else would he end his life now? If he truly believes his ex took his son, then he would hang on, and get to see him again. He would probably receive full custody. So why kill yourself? Unless you knew what really happened and it wasn't good.

It's not suicide that I've been half expecting. It's also not anyone in the family (and probably nobody close to them) that I'd expect to do anything. It seems that some people who have never met anyone involved with Dylan personally have been filled with rage. You just never know what might set off someone who's already unstable and gets involved in something like this. MOO

 

[catswhiskers]

"Concern" - its all relative !!

For example he showed little or no concern when he could not reach Dylan on his way home from his appointments ... He showed even less concern when he got home and Dylan was not home , even tho he had told Dylan he would pick him up at 11am and Dylan had understood that ... He then shows a bigger lack of concern that he then goes off for a mid-afternoon nap !

So no concern on the morning that Dylan supposedly vanished from his house!!

:cow: :cow:

IMO there seems to have been a pattern of a certain amount of freedom of movement where Dylan has been concerned, whether he has been with MR or ER. I think Dylan was able to have a wonderful time with friends, playing in the river, going to friends houses for sleepovers, and not necessarily coming home or checking in by any specific time. This isn't veiled criticism either by the way - I have two boys of my own and I wish all boys could enjoy those freedoms. It's great that they can enjoy simple pleasures and have fun outdoors with mates - to me it kind of all sounds like wholesome fun, and if we can allow our kids that freedom and be sure of their safety, it's marvelous.
IMO that explains why MR may not have gone into panic mode for a few hours. Arriving home and finding that Dylan wasn't there on the couch waiting for him may not have been so unusual - for either MR or ER for that matter. Maybe it would just be assumed he had found a way to catch up with his friends or go visiting somewhere himself.

I have trod this path myself - my kids are not in the habit of taking off without notice at all, but one day my 13 year old was gone for a couple of hours longer than I expected. He had started off playing in with kids in our street, then they all were all just gone. I assumed riding bikes and scooters - but it was a tense couple of hours for me that carried over just until after dark and I had no idea where he was. As night fell I started walking around the streets and had no idea whether I should call the police or not. He arrived home soon after that, and actually said he had been worried himself as he had started riding the neighbourhood kids, then they met up with some older teens who insisted they come down to the river along some bush track with them. He was quite shaken up, not because anything bad had happened, but because he had felt like he hadn't been given a choice and it scared him to be in that position. It hasn't happened since I might add.

All MOO and MOE (my own experience!)

 

[YidArmyRach]

IMO there seems to have been a pattern of a certain amount of freedom of movement where Dylan has been concerned, whether he has been with MR or ER. I think Dylan was able to have a wonderful time with friends, playing in the river, going to friends houses for sleepovers, and not necessarily coming home or checking in by any specific time. This isn't veiled criticism either by the way - I have two boys of my own and I wish all boys could enjoy those freedoms. It's great that they can enjoy simple pleasures and have fun outdoors with mates - to me it kind of all sounds like wholesome fun, and if we can allow our kids that freedom and be sure of their safety, it's marvelous.
IMO that explains why MR may not have gone into panic mode for a few hours. Arriving home and finding that Dylan wasn't there on the couch waiting for him may not have been so unusual - for either MR or ER for that matter. Maybe it would just be assumed he had found a way to catch up with his friends or go visiting somewhere himself.

I have trod this path myself - my kids are not in the habit of taking off without notice at all, but one day my 13 year old was gone for a couple of hours longer than I expected. He had started off playing in with kids in our street, then they all were all just gone. I assumed riding bikes and scooters - but it was a tense couple of hours for me that carried over just until after dark and I had no idea where he was. As night fell I started walking around the streets and had no idea whether I should call the police or not. He arrived home soon after that, and actually said he had been worried himself as he had started riding the neighbourhood kids, then they met up with some older teens who insisted they come down to the river along some bush track with them. He was quite shaken up, not because anything bad had happened, but because he had felt like he hadn't been given a choice and it scared him to be in that position. It hasn't happened since I might add.

All MOO and MOE (my own experience!)

As Dylan and his friends come across as very resourceful, I guess MR could have just assumed that one of the boys had persuaded a parent or relative to drive over and collect Dylan?

 

[asyousay]

As Dylan and his friends come across as very resourceful, I guess MR could have just assumed that one of the boys had persuaded a parent or relative to drive over and collect Dylan?

So the it comes back to "why no note to explain" ? Or even better why no text to say " dad , I got a lift into town and don't worry " . It is just logical that this would of happened IMO

 

[YidArmyRach]

So the it comes back to "why no note to explain" ? Or even better why no text to say " dad , I got a lift into town and don't worry " . It is just logical that this would of happened IMO

Do you have teenage boys???!!! :floorlaugh:

I've never come home to a note. If I'm lucky, I get a text saying "Oh I forgot to tell you I went out, but I'm on my way home now. Should be about 5 minutes".

 

[YidArmyRach]

Couldn't you say that any media coverage of true crime is making entertainment out of tragedy? Every show depends on ratings, and they will do whatever they can to draw viewers to their program.

Which was exactly my point.

 

[aust amateur slueth]

Do you have teenage boys???!!! :floorlaugh:

I've never come home to a note. If I'm lucky, I get a text saying "Oh I forgot to tell you I went out, but I'm on my way home now. Should be about 5 minutes".

yes but that is when your boys are at home, would they be the same if they were away from home?

we can't judge by behaviours that are typical of teenagers in their own homes

 

[asyousay]

Do you have teenage boys???!!! :floorlaugh:

I've never come home to a note. If I'm lucky, I get a text saying "Oh I forgot to tell you I went out, but I'm on my way home now. Should be about 5 minutes".

Nope way to young to think of having children . But it's what I would of done when I was younger if my dad was coming back to pick me up as he would of been frantic that he did not know where I was and could not reach me .

 

[YidArmyRach]

yes but that is when your boys are at home, would they be the same if they were away from home?

we can't judge by behaviours that are typical of teenagers in their own homes

They are equally unreliable when they are with their dad.... to be honest, more so if they are staying with their dad. I think because its a routine they are not so familiar with, so rules and habits are not so ingrained.

ETA This has got me thinking..... if Dylan saw this trip as a "holiday", then would he assume he could do exactly what he wanted -it was HIS free time? No routine to keep, he was there to do his own thing, and didn't even considering that his movements were anything to do with MR at all. I don't want to sound mean about Dylan, because I am not being. I think a lot of kids this age are rather self-centred and don't tend to consider other people once they are having fun, or involved with their friends.

 

[Allusonz]

So the it comes back to "why no note to explain" ? Or even better why no text to say " dad , I got a lift into town and don't worry " . It is just logical that this would of happened IMO

Maybe Dylan did not text as much as some have alluded to.

Considering Dylan did not his cell phone in his hands at the airport or in Walmart, I would think his cell phone usage would be one of the first things that LE would of compared.

 

[Allusonz]

If he killed himself, I would take it as a sign of his guilt. Why else would he end his life now? If he truly believes his ex took his son, then he would hang on, and get to see him again. He would probably receive full custody. So why kill yourself? Unless you knew what really happened and it wasn't good.

I find this thought process extremely troubling. He is the father of a missing child.

 

[Allusonz]

"Concern" - its all relative !!

For example he showed little or no concern when he could not reach Dylan on his way home from his appointments ... He showed even less concern when he got home and Dylan was not home , even tho he had told Dylan he would pick him up at 11am and Dylan had understood that ... He then shows a bigger lack of concern that he then goes off for a mid-afternoon nap !

So no concern on the morning that Dylan supposedly vanished from his house!!

:cow: :cow:

BBM

Has it ever been considered that he did not mean to fall asleep for the length of time he did?

I know myself there have been times I have thought to close my eyes for a few minutes only to awake hours later.

 

[Eileen730]

As Dylan and his friends come across as very resourceful, I guess MR could have just assumed that one of the boys had persuaded a parent or relative to drive over and collect Dylan?

He assumes?
He has never said he assumed any of the friends parents came to pick Dylan up. If that was what he thought im really sure he would have said this.
and would probably have been better then the missing fishing pole.

but when you assume this ---you call to make sure.
JMO

 

[Eileen730]

BBM

Has it ever been considered that he did not mean to fall asleep for the length of time he did?

I know myself there have been times I have thought to close my eyes for a few minutes only to awake hours later.

His son isnt home and he is supposed to be!
He didnt ans his text messages from dad.
All your sons belongings are gone!

Something is wrong!

 

[Allusonz]

My point is that I see a lot of people saying that MR doesn't say nasty things, but he does. He even disparages Dylan ("Who knows what goes on in a 13 year old's head?"). I am not convinced one way or the other. I also cannot turn a blind eye to what I consider extremely poor word choices on Mark's part. I don't care what he looks like or whether he gets child support or if he had sex in front of anyone's window. I care that Mark tries to make Elaine and Cory and even Dylan look like less with his words, so he can look like more. He does himself a disservice.

BBM

I think that street should work both ways.