Tuliptiptoe
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Nice guy that helped others...Sociopaths can appear extraordinarily charming and real. (Psychopaths, not so much. At least not for long periods. They have dead shark eyes and cause many people to have the hairs on the back of their heads raise).
An example is a sociopathic opposing party I have on a case. He is violent, narcissistic and selfish and neglects his daughter. He had her sleeping on a pallet in a closet while he takes a king size bed. He drags her from woman to woman, leaving her in the care of women he just met, and having her sleep on a couch or on the floor or in the bed with him and his new broad. The child becomes attached to these women who provide all her care until they disappear. He fails to ensure the child gets to school on time, (even the first day of kindergarten) or completes her homework. She has to adapt to his life. There are no play dates, or birthday parties or child-related activities while she is with him. It's all about his desire to drink and be with women.
But he has a warm, crinkly-eyed and sincere-looking smile. he is able to pretend he's father of the year. He seems loving. Comes to school events. Puts sun block on her. But when no one is looking, he walks in front of her, off the sidewalk, in the drop off to school, not holding her hand, or seeming remotely concerned that she could be hit by a car. he leaves the bulk of the care to his girlfriends. He consistently gives up visitation for "work trips" which are really personal vacations.
An example that more people can really connect with is scott peterson. His nickname was The Golden Boy. He was absolutely beloved. Not one person knew what he was truly like until it was too late. He had literally dozens of people testifying on his behalf during the sentencing phase. A truly nice guy who helped others.
These people know what others want to hear and how to be charming. they can keep up the veneer for decades even. But no one knows what's really going on in their minds, and what dark thoughts they're having.
It is super hard to understand which is why it's so frightening and fascinating to me. No one wants to think they could be sleeping next to the enemy.
I watched a very disturbing clip of a sociopath describing his behaviors and he said something along the lines of "the best way to manipulate someone is to do something nice for them".
Its chilling. Moo.