Interesting thoughts. Most family annihilators kill themselves so you could be very right.
I think it was
@stereopticons who enlightened us about psych diagnosis classifications. It kind of blew my mind. She/he talked about how the diagnoses were created for billing purposes and so most people don't neatly fit into one.
I've found that family annihilators tend to be unique animals. A mix of issues and they vary but most seem to be desperate about appearances and not being seen as a bad guy. Like they can't face something as simple as a divorce because it would make them look bad. Many kill their families to avoid the shame of debt or a lie that's about to be uncovered. Some come from super religious families and feel they can't divorce for freedom or an affair.
It seems clear that CW was desperate to keep his relationship with NK. He was obsessive about it. Earlier I theorized that as the possible child of and enmeshed family and maybe narcissistic mother, he was unable to have his own feelings or a separate identity. He was always described as bland and kind of featureless, frankly. Withdrawn. Not social. Didn't seem to have one close, true friend.
How can you if you've been raised to meet your family's needs and have never had your own needs met or even recognized?
It seems he did break free when he got with Shanann (really his only girlfriend by that time, that I can uncover) but that caused a lot of discord and flailing and tantrums on the part of his family - mother and sister purposefully not inviting any of Shanann's friends to her bridal shower, and not showing up to the wedding, his daddy falling apart when CW married, developing apparent drug/alcohol issues, the on-going hatred of SW by his family of origin and refusal to respect her boundaries.
And ultimately, things likely got stale in his marriage as the reality of the drudgery and monotony of family life set in. Let's face it, after years of marriage it is not typically that exciting. And the routine of child care, errands and work can be deadening for many to some degree.
Further, CW was playing a role. Oh I think he was hot for SW at first but as married life went on, he might have begun to develop a resentment about being trapped in a role that was never that real for him. Because in my opinion, the reason he was such a quiet guy, a good kid, no problems, no real friends, is because he never developed a real identity. That's not allowed in enmeshed families with narcissistic parents which is what I suspect.
So now there's no more excitement and he's living someone else'e life - he doesn't know who he is so this isn't really his life. And there might be a simmering rage building up about that.
NK comes along. I think this isn't a guy who feels real love - I think you need to have an actual identity for that - but he can experience obsession and sexual thrill. Which must be pretty powerful for a guy who likely just goes through the motions and doesn't feel much of anything, ever. He became infatuated. But he was trapped. Because as much as his family disliked his wife, he likely felt a narcissistic panic at the thought of unveiling his true, base desires and leaving a pregnant wife and two kids for an affair.
Worse, he lied to NK. She thought he was at the end of a divorce, instead of not even separated. And his wife was almost four months pregnant. So he began an affair either just before he got her pregnant or soon after, which NK did not know.
And it's clear despite her revolting crooning in her police interview, that she indeed was upset that he had kids. As she told her friend, she wanted a man to start a family with, not a second family. She didn't want that baggage. Hearing that horrible woman talk, I have no doubt she made her feelings very clear, to CW.
He was going to lose her. He had to get rid of his family.
But he may not be a pure psychopath or sociopath. Maybe he's just a disturbed person with narcissistic tendencies, incapable of true love because he doesn't actually fully exist. And when he felt something, that feeling was so novel and so exciting he was willing to kill his whole family for it.
I think you have to exist to feel real love. But if a shadow person like him has been programmed to be a good boy and meet other's needs, perhaps he has an overwhelming need to get praise again from the investigators who rubbed his back and told him he was doing good, and that this was the Chris they knew was in there and that they wanted to see, when he finally started telling some truths.
The whole thing is so bizarre. He is so bizarre. I feel like he was so twisted into just this featureless good boy, growing up, that he craves pleasing others. It's so weird how he acted like a toddler in the interrogation. So easily cracked. And now he's talking again.
It is rather fascinating.
