Connecticut school district on lockdown after shooting report at a Newtown elemen #6

[Glow]

A heartbreaking first-person account from a mother with her own problem son:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/...er-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html


I'm posting this in response to the "evil v. mental illness" question raised above. I think our understanding of mental illness is muddied by the very narrow definition used by the law.

Thanks for posting this Nova, heartbreaking indeed. This link was posted before but was quickly dismissed because of the writers (perhaps) choice of words.

When you look at the content of her words what emerges is a mother who is desperate to shed light on a plight that she lives with everyday. She sounds like a good mother who has slid down a rabbit hole and is well aware that unless she can raise awareness, she, her son and many others might not be able to endure much less find and make good choices.

If she used a little shock phrasing to get her message out I am ok with that. We need to hear what she has to say. More importantly we need to listen with understanding.

 

[Pensfan]

She posted that she was traveling all over the planet. Her friends said she went out drinking in a bar 2-3 nights per week (after she picked up those 2 salads of course). It doesn't sound like she was becoming a recluse, but rather that she was trying to hide something unpleasant or embarrassing inside her house. Maybe she was trying to protect people by not letting them inside her home?[/QUOTE]

BBM...........Oh my that's it, she knew what he was capable of but
thought she could handle him!

That fits with the babysitter's story. The babysitter was told to never turn his back on AXXX.

 

[4MYGUYS]

hmmm...so this makes me even more puzzled about how people say she was so adamant about not letting people in the house, or even get a glimpse of the house like if she were to open the door and their possibly be able to look past her...that she wouldn't allow it...???...tho, clearly this plumber remarks about what a beautiful home it was inside...idk..seems to me that there are being stark contrasts reported about every aspect of NL and AL..and its really difficult to discern which is legitimate and which is BS...arrgghh!

oh boy, if she really needed a plumber it is very possible that he was all over the house,... plumbing problems,... jeez don't even start me on that. :banghead:

Is it against school safety to install a deadbolt at the top of the door?

 

[SmoothOperator]

By the way he didn't shoot all six students from Ms. Soto's class. All six were able to run out of there alive.

unfortunately the above is not true..tho, an early report stated such, since then it has been reported that the 6 who ran from the closet WERE ALL KILLED AS VICKI SOTO ATTEMPTED TO THROW HERSELF IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN BETWEEN THE GUNMAN..HE KILLED SOTO AND ALL 6 STUDENTS..

The 7 students that did not run out of the closet all lived and were unharmed and found later by LE still huddled in the closet..

in fact Jesse's father(Jesse is one of the six that fled from the closet AND was killed)..his father spoke about how he wished his son had not made the choice to flee, but rather stay put with the others in the closet..but yet he understood why his son did so, and that his son died in the same way that he, his father would have in that same situation...in attempting to flee from the danger..

now the six students that were found in a circle on Mr Rosen's lawn/driveway..those six students are not the six that fled from Vicki Soto's classroom closet and IMO its this that had caused the confusion in the beginning and why it was falsely reported the 6 from Soto's room had survived when fleeing, when in fact they unfortunately did not

 

[not_my_kids]

One person said she didn't talk about AL. Plenty more said she did.
And that story about institutionalizing was hearsay, so hardly convincing.

Just using yours as a jumping off point.

I think the person that she didn't talk to about AL might have been the only one she didn't talk to. I know plenty of people that live for drama and gossip and they would probably think I'm pretty quiet, but I don't have a lot to say to those people. My other friends know that I am loud and have a lot to say, but I don't like to be the subject or gossip or have my private life talked about.
I am thinking it was a situation like that with the woman that said she never talked about AL, and I put 0% faith in anything she had to say. MOO

 

[gngr~snap]

oh boy, if she really needed a plumber it is very possible that he was all over the house,... plumbing problems,... jeez don't even start me on that. :banghead:

Is it against school safety to install a deadbolt at the top of the door?

Thank you for saying that! I wanted to but...
Seems like the plumber had a history there...
even when Ryan lived there!

This man has been around a while and has seen "stuff"
IMO

 

[mck16]

Thanks for the info on which room he went to first I thought it was the other way around. The details have been in flux since the beginning.

I do know that the teacher that hide with her class in the bathroom was in the first room (she kept saying she thought they were going to die because they were in the first room the shooter would come to) and that
there were 6 kids that ran past the shooter in Miss Soto's room (I'm only sure of that because I saw the interview with one of the boy's parents.) along with the 7 hidden in the closet.

Thanks for the break down of the 2 classes.

Why wasn't Ms. Soto's class room locked? Am I missing something? tia

 

[jjenny]

That fits with the babysitter's story. The babysitter was told to never turn his back on AXXX.

That babysitter was a boy about 4 or 5 years older than AL at the time (so 14-15).

 

[callyn]

nevermind.....

 

[Wise Old Owl]

If anyone is interested (or wants to fact check me - lol) here's a link to an article about our board meeting and the security today:


http://www.local10.com/news/Broward...plan/-/1717324/17821232/-/mrvhch/-/index.html




ETA: originally posted wrong article - oops!

 

[gngr~snap]

unfortunately the above is not true..tho, an early report stated such, since then it has been reported that the 6 who ran from the closet WERE ALL KILLED AS VICKI SOTO ATTEMPTED TO THROW HERSELF IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN BETWEEN THE GUNMAN..HE KILLED SOTO AND ALL 6 STUDENTS..

The 7 students that did not run out of the closet all lived and were unharmed and found later by LE still huddled in the closet..

in fact Jesse's father(Jesse is one of the six that fled from the closet AND was killed)..his father spoke about how he wished his son and not made the choice to flee, but rather stay put with the others in the closet..but yet he understood why his son did so, and that his son died in the same way that he, his father would have in that same situation...in attempting to flee from the danger..

now the six students that were found in a circle on Mr Rosen's lawn/driveway..those six students are not the six that fled from Vicki Soto's classroom closet and IMO its this that had caused the confusion in the beginning and why it was falsely reported the 6 from Soto's room had survived when fleeing, when in fact they unfortunately did not

:waitasec: ok smooth help me understand here... They said their teacher Ms Soto was dead. Did they run before the others were put in the closet?

 

[MissSunshine]

I have a few questions.

Who said that NL would not let anyone in the house?
How often was this plumber in the house? With all of his knowledge of the family, they must have had some major plumbing issues...
How do we know AL spent his days in a windowless basement?
I keep seeing the question asked who watched AL when NL went out...how do we know he needed to be watched? He was a 20 year old which is more than old enough to stay home alone. Perhaps he appeared mature and stable enough to be home while his mom went out..

 

[passionflower]

Thanks for your post, PF. I was thinking about this earlier today and didn't know quite how to broach the subject. The house where NL and her son, Adam, lived is probably 3000+ square feet. Surely there is enough space, multiple rooms, and privacy for two adults! Why did Alex live in the basement? Did he choose to live there - away from his mother? Or, had AL been relegated to the "dungeon" by his mother? :waitasec:

just a thought please don't throw stones at me.........
that is a huge house for 1 lady to live in........
and if AL chose the basement, was there an outside door?
Did she occasionally lock him in?
I am sure he had everything he needed in his 'basement apartment'.
Just seems so wierd that he wasn't using the second floor rooms.
JMOO

 

[Pensfan]

Thanks for posting this Nova, heartbreaking indeed. This link was posted before but was quickly dismissed because of the writers (perhaps) choice of words.

When you look at the content of her words what emerges is a mother who is desperate to shed light on a plight that she lives with everyday. She sounds like a good mother who has slid down a rabbit hole and is well aware that unless she can raise awareness, she, her son and many others might not be able to endure much less find and make good choices.

If she used a little shock phrasing to get her message out I am ok with that. We need to hear what she has to say. More importantly we need to listen with understanding.

She just had her son admitted to a locked psych unit (where he will be put on medications and likely not just one medication). If she strongly encouraged his doc or an ER doc to admit him to a psych unit earlier (sometimes you have to stretch the truth a little bit, or over emphasize, if you KNOW your loved one is dangerous, but others don't see it), he would have been given medication that helped his impulse control problems. He may have never have pulled a knife on her or threatened anyone else once on appropriate medication.

I have a feeling that AXXX's mom felt she could handle his problems all by herself. This is NEVER the case with someone who is severely mentally ill. Family members benefit from resources and mental health workers working WITH them.

 

[jjenny]

Here is the article. The six students who made it out alive by running were in Ms. Soto's class.

"Victoria Soto, 27, was a first-grade teacher killed when 20-year-old Adam Lanza burst into her classroom. It wasn't clear how the children escaped harm, but there have been reports that Soto hid some of her students from the approaching gunman. The six who turned up at Rosen's home did apparently have to run past her body to safety."

http://www.pressherald.com/news/gra...s-a-haven-to-kids-who-escaped_2012-12-18.html

 

[cluciano63]

Maybe AL would become upset by people coming into the house. That is my take on it. Also, she may have gone around to the side door when someone came to the front door to keep him from knowing anyone was there. She probably did everything possible to keep from upsetting him.

My mom seldom felt comfortable letting people into our family home once my adult brother (mentally ill) became ever more introverted and fearful of people. I stayed at a motel in town when I spent time visiting my mom ,so that she did not need to feel uneasy about making him even more uncomfortable than he already was. Home repairs were done by another brother, who lives with him now that my mom has died. Some of the neighbors may well not have known that he exists.

 

[jjenny]

:waitasec: ok smooth help me understand here... They said their teacher Ms Soto was dead. Did they run before the others were put in the closet?

They run out past the gunman after he already killed Ms. Soto. They were in fact in her class, and six of them made it out alive.

 

[SmoothOperator]

sorry but unfortunately the truth of the matter is that the 6 that fled from her classroom closet died..

7 of them in closet lived..

 

[kalekona]

Why wasn't Ms. Soto's class room locked? Am I missing something? tia

It really didn't sound to me like any of the rooms were locked.

 

[Pensfan]

I have a few questions.

Who said that NL would not let anyone in the house?
How often was this plumber in the house? With all of his knowledge of the family, they must have had some major plumbing issues...
How do we know AL spent his days in a windowless basement?
I keep seeing the question asked who watched AL when NL went out...how do we know he needed to be watched? He was a 20 year old which is more than old enough to stay home alone. Perhaps he appeared mature and stable enough to be home while his mom went out..

One article stated that when he was ill he wouldn't let his mom into his room, but wanted her to stay outside his door all night. He kept asking "Are you still there?" all night. This young man was clearly mentally unhealthy.

Adam Lanza's mother was known for her generosity and friendliness, but she always kept quiet about her home life, say those who knew her. Nancy Lanza was a regular at a local bar, where she would often pick up the tab for those who needed it. When an acquaintance asked a mutual friend for collateral before loaning him money, "Nancy overheard the discussion, and, unblinkingly, told him she'd just write him a check then and there," says the acquaintance. But her home life was off limits. "Her family life was her family life. She kept it private, when we were together," the bar's owner tells the AP.

Recalls a former babysitter who watched Lanza when he was nine or 10: "His mom ... had always instructed me to keep an eye on him at all times, never turn my back or even go to the bathroom or anything like that. Which I found odd but I really didn't ask; it wasn't any of my business," Ryan Kraft says. "Looking back at it now, I guess there was something else going on."

http://www.newser.com/story/159421/nancy-lanza-to-sitter-dont-turn-your-back.html