Two interesting take aways on intimate partner violence (domestic violence):
- CT happens to be home of one of the landmark cases for IPV legislation in marriage. We have come a long way since 1985 in shifting cultural beliefs and increasing safety for victims but there is SO so much more work to do (MOO):
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/CaseBrief_ThurmanVCityOfTorrington_1985.pdf
- Here is an (old school) assessment & screening tool for victims/ survivors of intimate partner violence. It “scores” escalation leading to potential lethality in relationship. Far from perfect but a useful metric for advocates, LE, criminal justice field, victims/ survivors of IPV. The scale scores incidents of dangerousness (eg partner has access to gun, history of strangling, cyberstalking / stalking):
http://ncdsv.org/images/DANGERASSESSMENT.pdf
(I am a New England based licensed mental health clinician and volunteer as a hospital advocate for victims of IPV, sexual assault & hate crimes.
MOO-glimpses of what we are learning of FD sync too well with known patterns of escalation and perpetrators exerting power and control. As we know anecdotally from our own life experiences and media’s portrayal, these perps are often charmers. They are able to shake the self identity of the sturdiest most secure humans- slowly chipping away at self esteem, self-love and deteriorating mental health (gas lighting, isolation, doubt). JD moving to new home with children and story to FD about visiting fathers grave with children is all too familiar to me. We call this “safety planning” in the field. These kind of plans are often suggested by IPV/DV advocates, lawyers and mental health clinicians and often set up in place MONTHS before it’s time to “go.” It is conjecture but the armed guards and quick trip to NYC with the kiddos that fateful night also feels like a “safety plan” to me. These are the steps and hypervigilance victims of domestic violence have daily to protect their lives. JDs access to resources and support system were instrumental in this plan. I would imagine there is likely much more JD and her children witnessed and endured that we will never know. Court and LE require such high levels of documentation that is often impossible to capture the day to day intricacies of living with a perp- tone of voice, scowl, “he said she said” threats, small things around house to make feel crazy.
My heart breaks for JD and those sweet children. I know victims like her so well, so intimately, and I cannot stop refreshing this forum. I wish I had her ease with words to describe the level of grace, strength and bravery she had. My heart goes out to the friends and family of JD as they desperately tried to protect her and navigate a complicated criminal justice process for the past two (probably many more) years. For the unimaginable trauma they have experienced this last month, well there are no words for that, either.
