DC DC - Relisha Tenau Rudd, 8, SE DC, 26 Feb 2014 - #4

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I mean no disrespect having a very normal upbringing. Having said that I struggle with the disconnect thingy. Our Son just finished 5 years of University and is back home and working. Since then we acquired Grandbaby. I'm 57. I am up by 6:30 a.m. and it's go time for the next 4-5 hours. I barely scarf a coffee. I buy her toys. I tell her every day how much I love her. How special and pretty she is. Many times. She has and gets the best of the best. We take her everywhere and expose her to all kinds of activities and experiences. She's a DOG (Lab). Forgive me for believing it just should be Innate?????
 
Maybe one of Relisha's brothers might have said something to someone. Anyone.
Hopefully they are safe, full, and warm tonight
 
Bravo said:
I mean no disrespect having a very normal upbringing. Having said that I struggle with the disconnect thingy. Our Son just finished 5 years of University and is back home and working. Since then we acquired Grandbaby. I'm 57. I am up by 6:30 a.m. and it's go time for the next 4-5 hours. I barely scarf a coffee. I buy her toys. I tell her every day how much I love her. How special and pretty she is. Many times. She has and gets the best of the best. We take her everywhere and expose her to all kinds of activities and experiences. She's a DOG (Lab). Forgive me for believing it just should be Innate?????
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That's the thing - People struggle to understand heinous crimes or neglect/abuse as we are not like it ourselves, so we cannot fathom the thought pattern or behaviour.
Problem is Motherly / parental love isn't always innate, or any chance of normality for a person is crushed out of them due to unluckiness or constant trauma /bad chances given to them at birth and throughout their life .
I do not and will never defend those who do harm and I don't understand how one can harm their own child ,or anothers, as to me no matter what hand I was dealt my children are my most precious hearts and if anything I've loved them doubly more - but I can see WHY some people are the way they are.

When you are dealt a tough hand you either come out fighting or you go down with the rotten ship. Years of a fractured life and being brought up in dysfunction- especially generational - can make people desensitised to acceptable behaviour, normality and cause them to struggle to love, emotion or parent appropriately or successfully. Couple it with poverty, drugs and bad choices , then with selfishness - you have a recipe for disaster.
Even people who have prevailed after a hard start in life and have seen it all, will struggle to comprehend the lifestyle and attitude/actions of SY and how heavy the weight of the world that was on Relishas shoulders.

PS, Love the Grandbaby dog story - I was totally misting up and you made me smile right at the end, a much needed relief moment!
 
Irisha said:
The only thing the shelter made a horrible decison about is hiring Tatum. The employees are not babysitters, nor adult babysitters. That would not be in the job description. And no doubt they are overworked and underpaid. I'm not positive but wouldn't each resident have their own caseworker, that is not employed by the shelter? Ultimately the care, safety, love, health is the responsibility of the parent. The shelter could not possibly be aware of what goes on with every resident. JMO
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I apologize for comments made last night which came off as cavalier, rude, inflammatory even. I was frustrated at seeing what a hard life she had-and I was pointing fingers at the shelter. I realize I went overboard with that sentiment.

I admire everyone here on this thread for caring so much.

I hope sweet child Relisha gets found soon.
 
I think we are all so angry and frustrated at all the mistakes and opportunities that we can clearly see were made and missed , that we look at every aspect and shout why, why did this happen - if the shelter had done this, or the CPS had done this.. I feel the same. but at the end of the day, we know in our hearts SY and KT were already on that slippery slope and ultimately are the ones reasonable for this situation.
I just pray some lessons may be learned from this and Relishas plight will not be in vain. God , I hope A/TW doesn't get those boys back, I've no doubt he loves them (as much as he is capable of loving) and they love him, but they have proved to be unfit parents (to put it mildly )by this. The thing is, as they are not charged with any crime and will jump through the right hoops to get custody back, they may just succeed.
 
SeriouslySearching said:
You aren't the only one. I play the "What IF..." game with this case daily.

What IF...people are wrong about KT and he did exactly what his son said by removing her from the danger.

What IF...the people he used in the arrangement turned on him and went after him and his wife.

What IF...he had an affair with SY in 2004 and was the bio dad of RR. And his wife was actually leaving him over the affair and child.

What IF...he didn't kill his wife, but knew he was set up to take the fall regardless and knew he would be taking the rap for RR's disappearance.

What IF...she is alive and well.

But then I regain my senses to realize his actions are not leaning toward him being her savior, but her executioner. :(
Click to expand...

OH, MY GOSH! Thank you for saying this. Now I don't feel like a total "weirdo", having some of these same thoughts ! And,Oh, how I wish your last "what IF" was the case.......
 
paintedred said:
That's the thing - People struggle to understand heinous crimes or neglect/abuse as we are not like it ourselves, so we cannot fathom the thought pattern or behaviour.
Problem is Motherly / parental love isn't always innate, or any chance of normality for a person is crushed out of them due to unluckiness or constant trauma /bad chances given to them at birth and throughout their life .
I do not and will never defend those who do harm and I don't understand how one can harm their own child ,or anothers, as to me no matter what hand I was dealt my children are my most precious hearts and if anything I've loved them doubly more - but I can see WHY some people are the way they are.

When you are dealt a tough hand you either come out fighting or you go down with the rotten ship. Years of a fractured life and being brought up in dysfunction- especially generational - can make people desensitised to acceptable behaviour, normality and cause them to struggle to love, emotion or parent appropriately or successfully. Couple it with poverty, drugs and bad choices , then with selfishness - you have a recipe for disaster.
Even people who have prevailed after a hard start in life and have seen it all, will struggle to comprehend the lifestyle and attitude/actions of SY and how heavy the weight of the world that was on Relishas shoulders.

PS, Love the Grandbaby dog story - I was totally misting up and you made me smile right at the end, a much needed relief moment!
Click to expand...

Aww so glad u liked it. We luv our Grand beyond words. She is our only Grand thus far. So we do spoil her Mach 90. She has brought us so much joy. I always read your posts and hold them in high regard. You are right when the drugs etc. enter the equation it's a recipe for disaster. And yes those desensitised is also a factor. I still struggle but open to understanding :seeya:
 
Thank you and I love how your grandbaby is so loved by you - my Husbands childhood best buddy and his wife cannot have children, but they had this dog called Jack. The mans Mother has other children with their own children, so was a Grandma thrice over, but she absolutely treated Jack as Grandbaby number 4! babysitting, proudly displayed photos of Jack next to the school photos of the others, treated him every time she went shopping, told us his latest progress if we ever bumped into her, she even took him to church one Christmas eve!...Jacks long passed away now but they have two other fur babies to bring joy in their lives.

I always thought it so kind that their Mom did that for them, it's little sweetness like that and yours that keep hope in my heart for the human race .
 
Starry Night said:
I appreciate your use of the word; however, you use it at a verb and Relisha said it as adjective.

The Shelter needs to be investigated inside-out.

In my opinion.
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BBM. When used as an adjective in this context, I immediately thought of a drug house - many times it's an abandoned house - where drugs are being used and sold. MOO from living in areas (urban & rural) where I've personally heard of drug houses referred to as a traps.

Ms Suzanne said:
Drug house?

I'm poor and I always say it Trapped.You can check in.But you can't check out. Because we are too poor.
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BBM. However, I can also see Ms. Suzanne's point when using the word as a verb. If you feel trapped, then you feel you are in a trap (noun).

Obviously "trap" has different meanings to different people, depending on its context and one's life experiences. IIRC, I also saw something upthread or maybe online somewhere, that "trap" can also refer to a type of music ?? Who knows what Relisha meant when that word came from her child's mind? Probably just repeating what she heard, but bottom line, whatever she thought it meant, it was nothing good. MOO
 
Starry Night said:
I apologize for comments made last night which came off as cavalier, rude, inflammatory even. I was frustrated at seeing what a hard life she had-and I was pointing fingers at the shelter. I realize I went overboard with that sentiment.

I admire everyone here on this thread for caring so much.

I hope sweet child Relisha gets found soon.
Click to expand...

No worries. This is a tough one. I usually stay away from these cases because they make me crazy and frankly I don't have any input that would be useful. I do follow the missing and it morphed into what it seems a world I just cant handle :seeya: Yet I will see this thru.
 
Taken from Social Media page of a radio show just now -

[...]There isn't supposed to be fraternizing at the #DCShelterForFamilies but our guest says #khalilTatum wasn't the only one bending rules...[...]

''According to our guest it is no surprise that #SY was an 18 mth resident of #DCShelterForFamilies #dosomething

[...] Have questions for this single mother who resided in the shelter that #RelishaRudd disappeared from? Call 6**-**7-8***now [...]
 
paintedred said:
Taken from Social Media page of a radio show just now -

[...]There isn't supposed to be fraternizing at the #DCShelterForFamilies but our guest says #khalilTatum wasn't the only one bending rules...[...]

''According to our guest it is no surprise that #SY was an 18 mth resident of #DCShelterForFamilies #dosomething

[...] Have questions for this single mother who resided in the shelter that #RelishaRudd disappeared from? Call 6**-**7-8***now [...]
Click to expand...

BBM, I'm sorry but I must have missed something.Was he dating someone there or what ' rules' did he bend? Or are they just speculating after teh fact? tia
 
paintedred said:
Thank you and I love how your grandbaby is so loved by you - my Husbands childhood best buddy and his wife cannot have children, but they had this dog called Jack. The mans Mother has other children with their own children, so was a Grandma thrice over, but she absolutely treated Jack as Grandbaby number 4! babysitting, proudly displayed photos of Jack next to the school photos of the others, treated him every time she went shopping, told us his latest progress if we ever bumped into her, she even took him to church one Christmas eve!...Jacks long passed away now but they have two other fur babies to bring joy in their lives.

I always thought it so kind that their Mom did that for them, it's little sweetness like that and yours that keep hope in my heart for the human race .
Click to expand...

So sweet. Thanks for sharing that. Awesome. My hubby and I are beyond ridicules with our Avery.
 
SCHMAE said:
BBM, I'm sorry but I must have missed something.Was he dating someone there or what ' rules' did he bend? Or are they just speculating after teh fact? tia
Click to expand...

Could be speculation, there's a link to the recording of the show, must have had someone who lived at the shelter on and were discussing the shelter itself I think. Is this okay to post - if not I will remove asap and sorry if so.

[...]Listen to our new episode Relisha Rudd and the Reality of DC's Homeless Services at http://tobtr.com/s/6289037 . #DCorNOTHING
...[]
 
Just K said:
Thanks Nikki, did you see any Young, Turner, Wheeler, or Tatum family members?
Click to expand...


No, unfortunately I didn't see any of them. There was a good amount of people there but I didn't see any of the "family"
 
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