DC DC - Relisha Tenau Rudd, 8, SE DC, 26 Feb 2014 - #4

[nikki80]

Thanks again, nikki80! Was the media there? If so, maybe I'll get to see later. P.S. Glad to hear hubby waited nearby in the car!

Yes, the media was there and they were doing interviews.

 

[Bravo]

BBM, I'm sorry but I must have missed something.Was he dating someone there or what ' rules' did he bend? Or are they just speculating after teh fact? tia

My understanding is no staff fraternizing, gifts etc etc etc. Which he did and beyond.

 

[popsicle]

BBM, I'm sorry but I must have missed something.Was he dating someone there or what ' rules' did he bend? Or are they just speculating after teh fact? tia

Employees are not suppose to have any kind of personal relationship with the residents.

 

[SusanB]

I'll just share my insight on the family dynamics presented in this case as I have some personal experience here.
I have been with my present husband for 15 years - we got together after I had already raised 3 children who were out and independent by that time.
I grew up in the suburbs, normal middle-class, my Mom and Dad married, both parents always in the home, 2 siblings, all of us educated, working, responsible members of society.
My husband was raised quite differently - single mother, siblings with different fathers, frequent moves, questions of sexual abuse, drugs, government assistance throughout, etc. By the grace of a higher power, he overcame and is now a wonderful, productive family man, and his family has developed over time as well. He has a huge extended family of cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews.
When we first met, I was astonished at how the minor children of the various family members were passed around, sent to "live" with other family members, for periods of time ranging from months to many years. Many times no obvious reason was given - just "he needs to go live with grandma" "I can't handle her right now so she can live with Auntie for awhile", "they will stay with Cuz till the mother gets on her feet."
My family was not like that! I would never just drop my children off to "live" with anybody else, even family! I endured divorces, a few address changes, demanding job hours, financial difficulties, mostly as a single mother raising 3 kids. Despite all my troubles, the thought NEVER even entered my head to send any or all of my children to "live" with someone else.
Yet - other folks in different cultures are totally okay with that. Think - "It takes a village" and all that. My husband's family would "take in" ANY of the children any time it was needed or requested.
It took me many years to develop an acceptance of this, as I wondered why Johnny was staying at Aunt Margie's house all year when his mother had a perfectly fine home. After awhile, I stopped asking questions. It just is what it is, so to speak.
My culture growing up was completely different that my husband's - and that doesn't make one better than the other, just different.
As far as the psychological ramifications of children going from caretaker to caretaker, I do not know. The children raised in this manner in my husband's family range from college educated, successful adults to drop-outs, drug users and trouble with the law.
Sorry for the rant, but I guess my point is that folks from different cultures raise their children in whatever way they know, from the way they and their parents did.
SY just perpetrated what she knew, and she probably still believes she is a good mother even though all her children are gone, she may have a "slight" drug problem, she is homeless, jobless and there are serious allegations of abuse. It may be exactly what occurred in her own childhood.
Thanks for listening, I do the best I can to keep an open mind towards those who are different than me. That said, there is no excuse for selling your child, if indeed that is what happened here.

 

[hambirg]

BBM, I'm sorry but I must have missed something.Was he dating someone there or what ' rules' did he bend? Or are they just speculating after teh fact? tia

I'd be surprised if sleepovers with 8yr old residents weren't against the rules.

 

[nikki80]

So the family DID show up? Well they must've shown up late. Hmph. I'll just keep my mouth shut.

 

[nikki80]

Some pics from the rally.

 

[shadow of my mind]

That's the thing - People struggle to understand heinous crimes or neglect/abuse as we are not like it ourselves, so we cannot fathom the thought pattern or behaviour.
Problem is Motherly / parental love isn't always innate, or any chance of normality for a person is crushed out of them due to unluckiness or constant trauma /bad chances given to them at birth and throughout their life .
I do not and will never defend those who do harm and I don't understand how one can harm their own child ,or anothers, as to me no matter what hand I was dealt my children are my most precious hearts and if anything I've loved them doubly more - but I can see WHY some people are the way they are.

When you are dealt a tough hand you either come out fighting or you go down with the rotten ship. Years of a fractured life and being brought up in dysfunction- especially generational - can make people desensitised to acceptable behaviour, normality and cause them to struggle to love, emotion or parent appropriately or successfully. Couple it with poverty, drugs and bad choices , then with selfishness - you have a recipe for disaster.
Even people who have prevailed after a hard start in life and have seen it all, will struggle to comprehend the lifestyle and attitude/actions of SY and how heavy the weight of the world that was on Relishas shoulders.

PS, Love the Grandbaby dog story - I was totally misting up and you made me smile right at the end, a much needed relief moment!

Now Getting up on soapbox

Yes, and the attitude in this country is just to keep throwing money at the problem. Pay for housing, pay for medical care, pay for job training, pay for public defenders, pay for them in jail to get out and commit more crime. It just goes on and on. :maddening:

And then blame their choices and actions on everything and everybody but themselves.ullhair:

No one is willing to do the hard thing and say to these individuals ...Enough. No more. Your parental right have been terminated. You can send them letters, you can send them pictures, but you are not going to raise your children. You are not capable of being a parent. When they are an adult then they can choose to see you.

No you are not getting out of jail on a reduced sentence. You choose to do the crime so you are going to stay in there the entire time. And you will not be watching TV or going to the gym. You will learn to read. You will learn how to be respectful of others. You will work. And maybe you might just think twice when you finally get out that you need to start making better choices.

Something has to be done to break this cycle, because leaving it up to them is not working. We have upwards of 4 generations of the same families living like this, creating the same problems for their children that their parents created for them, and it is not getting better it is getting worse.:trainwreck:

If this system was working Relisha would be sleeping in a nice warm bed, curled up with her teddy bear, after a good healthy meal, dreaming of what she's going to do tomorrow.

Yes I know that not everyone is the same and some take what is given to them and make a good life for themselves and their children. Been their done that. Yes it hard. But dang it this family wasn't even trying. :stormingmad:

Ok Putting soap box away now

 

[nikki80]

More...

 

[nikki80]

The organizer of the rally.

 

[nikki80]

Is it ok if I post pics here? I am not sure.

 

[PlainJaneDoe]

I mean no disrespect having a very normal upbringing. Having said that I struggle with the disconnect thingy. Our Son just finished 5 years of University and is back home and working. Since then we acquired Grandbaby. I'm 57. I am up by 6:30 a.m. and it's go time for the next 4-5 hours. I barely scarf a coffee. I buy her toys. I tell her every day how much I love her. How special and pretty she is. Many times. She has and gets the best of the best. We take her everywhere and expose her to all kinds of activities and experiences. She's a DOG (Lab). Forgive me for believing it just should be Innate?????

:seeya: my little man has four paws and whiskers and big green eyes that can see into my soul. :cat: Before I make my morning coffee, I cuddle him and coo at him and fill his dish. As you said, he hears over and over from me how much I love him, and how handsome he is. I praise and reward him for carrying my ponytail holders and his other toys around the house, for eating his food, for keeping me company while I study, etc. I even thank him for supervising me when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, and I mean it with all my heart. When he was sick, I couldnt be still until the vet checked him out and reassured me that he would be just fine. I read books and articles about how i can be a better mom to him and make his life as enriched and pleasant as possible. I believe that this is no more than what he deserves and what I promised to do for him when I adopted him! When my friends tease me by saying, "he's just a cat," I retort, "well, you're 'just' a human, so whatever!"

I have to believe that Relisha got some of this in her life. lease:

 

[Bravo]

:seeya: my little man has four paws and whiskers and big green eyes that can see into my soul. :cat: Before I make my morning coffee, I cuddle him and coo at him and fill his dish. As you said, he hears over and over from me how much I love him, and how handsome he is. I praise and reward him for carrying my ponytail holders and his other toys around the house, for eating his food, for keeping me company while I study, etc. I even thank him for supervising me when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, and I mean it with all my heart. I have to tell myself that Relisha experienced this from at least some people in her life.

I hear ya. "As it should be" sigh.......

 

[nikki80]

This was a whole pic but I cropped out the kids faces. This was touching. Kids looked about age 8 and 10 holding signs for you Relisha. We love you baby girl.

 

[Bravo]

This was a whole pic but I cropped out the kids faces. This was touching. Kids looked about age 8 and 10 holding signs for you Relisha. We love you baby girl.

Bless you for being there :loveyou:

 

[Annie1004]

:seeya: my little man has four paws and whiskers and big green eyes that can see into my soul. :cat: Before I make my morning coffee, I cuddle him and coo at him and fill his dish. As you said, he hears over and over from me how much I love him, and how handsome he is. I praise and reward him for carrying my ponytail holders and his other toys around the house, for eating his food, for keeping me company while I study, etc. I even thank him for supervising me when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, and I mean it with all my heart. I have to tell myself that Relisha experienced this from at least some people in her life.

Perfectly stated, Jane! My two kitty furbabies have the same relationship with me. In fact, every time I see them, it puts a huge smile on my face, even when the little boy gets into everything! These are my "kids" and I am so thankful to have them in my life.

 

[geegeesmom]

I tweeted Russ Ptacek at Wusa. Hopefully, he'll be able to confirm KT'S time spent in jail and time married.

 

[mpnola]

It is no surprise to me that most of the family would not attend rallys, especially Shamika and Antonio. In all honesty, they are really in danger, if they were to show up. Many people are angry and I have seen more than my fair share of threats. On antonio's FB, people were yelling and commenting and someone told him to get off Facebook and go pack. A person in California, I believe. This is likely where they are. I do not think they are good people, but I also don't think anyone else getting killed right now or even just a big angry brawl will help anything, so I am not even much bothered that they don't go because I don't think they have a choice, at this point. As for helping other ways and making other decisions... TONS of better choices!!!!

 

[Bravo]

It is no surprise to me that most of the family would not attend rallys, especially Shamika and Antonio. In all honesty, they are really in danger, if they were to show up. Many people are angry and I have seen more than my fair share of threats. On antonio's FB, people were yelling and commenting and someone told him to get off Facebook and go pack. A person in California, I believe. This is likely where they are. I do not think they are good people, but I also don't think anyone else getting killed right now or even just a big angry brawl will help anything, so I am not even much bothered that they don't go because I don't think they have a choice, at this point. As for helping other ways and making other decisions... TONS of better choices!!!!

IMO they don't help because they don't care. Apparently much game time happening on their gaming devices. Just bouncing off your post.

 

[Bravo]

Gonna sign off for the night folks :seeya: I have to be up at 4:30 a.m. to take our Son to the Airport. I'll be here tomorrow. Until then. I pray little Relisha is loved wherever she may be lease: