Here's what I know for sure, speaking from personal experience.
There are some very common threads running through families where abuse takes place- specificially sexual abuse. This type of abuse in particular is like a mold that grows in secrecy in families that operate on a foundation of denial. The pattern in families where this type of incestuous abuse most commonly takes place many times has a primary care figure (usually female) that is highly controlling & critical coupled with a secondary caregiver (typically male) that is domineered and the brunt of the other spouse's insults and callous behavior. The marital relationship usually lacks a sexual connection, and very typically there is another form of addiction present (alcohol, drugs, gambling) present that shadows the denial/abuse dynamic. The entire equilibrium of the family is off, because the family itself is built on a foundation on sickness.
Like a hanging mobile, when one family member acts out, all the others have to re-adjust to make the entire group balance.
The abuse is as much about power over someone as it is about sexual gratification. It is an outlet for the henpecked and ridiculed spouse to exert a bit of power in the family, in addition to making up for the lack of physical contact & intimacy in the marriage. When we see how controlling CA is, and how GA dances to her every tune and instruction, and also the fact that we know he had a gambling problem and was trolling online for escorts... I believe all of that speaks for itself.
I am an abuse survivor, and I know so much of this from my own experience and from the experience of other sexual abuse survivors, and also from the things I have learned through healing with excellent therapists over the course of many years. Do I think it is plausible that ICA suffered sexual abuse at the hands of her father? Knowing what we know of her family dynamics, her relationships within her family, her behavior, lying and promiscuity... Yes, I would say it sounds very plausible.
Do I think that any of the above matters one iota in the fact that she murdered her own baby daughter? NO, I do not. Not a chance.
There are tens of thousands of people like myself who have survived abuse by people who were supposed to be figures of love, care & trust. If anything, it makes you hyper-viligant and sensitive like radar to others who may have that one sad thing in common with you. The last thing it does is make you murder your own child. If anything, it makes you a more aware and cautious parent who would NEVER, EVER let your child suffer at the hands of ANY other human being, least of all your own!
The fact that the DT is using this as an excuse for why the inmate murdered her own helpless daughter is a disgusting farce and a slap in the face to sexual abuse survivors everywhere.
uke:
uke:
uke:
