It seems to me the difference between those people who have family members who have suffered a type of "break" with reality vs. the people we are speaking of that make the news is who they hurt.
IMHO there are two kinds of mental illness, just like there are two kinds of people(putting it simply as I said this is a complicated subject). Those that hurt themselves when upset(take it out on themselves)and those that lash out at others.
Any given person could react and probably does react in each way in a lifetime. A "mentally healthy" person who usually take their pain out on others may take it out on themselves at times and vice versa. But, IMHO people that take anything out on others are not all that "sane."
You know, what is sanity? We have no idea who this woman really was, many people do not know who they are themselves. People grow up, go to school, get a job, get married and have children and the decades fly by. Some people are not introspective, are not self aware, imho. It is funny because WS are IMHO the personality opposite of this type of person(that is why they all have such a need to know)and they are(we are)seeking to understand people who seek to understand very little-and I feel this contributes(sometimes when there is the perfect storm)to tragedy.
This woman knew to keep up the facade, the mask, well enough that so many others were not alerted to her inner thoughts of murder. She knew to keep her children in a way that they were not expecting what she had planned. A massacre. In her own words. That is evil, imho. But, I think that evil is a mental state a person can be in and I would call such a person criminally insane. A person that goes though life hurting others but never does enough to be arrested is still, imho an evil mentally ill person.
She seems to think in very methodical ways. If you have never encountered a controlling person, a control freak it is difficult to understand the havoc they can create in people's lives. There is no way one case will answer all the questions we have about why things like this happen and if there is anything we can do to make things better. But, having these discussions are very valuable if any answers are to come. IMHO.
I believe when the daughter said her mother was hitting her, something should have been done. IMHO, all hitting or spanking of children-all corporal punishment of every kind should be made illegal. Here is where some get parents all upset. They start saying, "what? what do you mean I don't have the right to discipline my children anyway I see fit?"
What if we said, "no." Why is that so awful? There are parents who hit their children, spank their children and "nothing bad happens"(if you say so)but because it is accepted, then any parent laying their hands on their child becomes "normal" and as it said at the end of the child and family services report "no evidence of a criminal offense in this case."
Had it been a husband, who after being married for 16(13 for the young man)years who had begun to use physical violence with his wife and children: it would be seen as abuse. It would be illegal. Caylx looked corporal punishment up and saw that it was illegal. Too bad she wasn't old enough to the ways of this world to know that what her mother was doing was, to the authorities(
) of this world completely acceptable.
My mother used physical violence from the time I was very small. She also used emotional and mental abuse but always made sure to act different around other people. Even my father. My mother's depression got worse as we got older, she would even say "I enjoyed you kids when you were young" and I would tell my father(he had a job where he was away a lot too)and he would say, "we will get mommy help." But he never did. Because of the "parents own their children" issue, children will continue to fall victim to those who are supposed to love them and protect them the most.
Really that last sentiment is false, it has been created in modern times. Only a hundred years ago children were seen as burdens that were only worth being born if they could work. During the depression in America in the 1930's there were more orphans and orphanages than any other time. Parents that could not feed their children opened the door and kicked them out on the street. There is no law nor could there be to make only good people have children. Selfish, damaged people have children every single day. These people do not all look selfish or damaged.
Calyx wrote this in class
"In life, the journey proves to be more meaningful than the end and the way you live exposes your own true personality."
The Tampa Police Spokesperson said of the mother, "She was very matter of fact in how she was planning to kill her own children." IMHO, if she snapped then maybe the part of her brain that had military training took over, she might have been more of that type of personality to organize things, but imho that is still not the reason why when she "snapped" she thought taking out her own children was the answer. From her own mouth, she let us know that she was punishing her children. And, to get back to that subject this is why her daughter was speaking out about her mother(as best she could)because she understood how her mother felt about her, that she was being punished and punished in a physical way. If you take out the idea that this was a mother and look at this in any other human relationship dynamic we would instantly see what the mother was doing was wrong.
From the first open handed smack, wrong. Abuse. Abuser. Caylx was upset in trying to tell what her mother was doing. I read the report and it wasn't easy. It is hard when your abuser is your mother. When you love her but also do not like how she treats you. Then people tell you, other adults tell you that how you are treated is that person's right to do to you.
The details are as follows; officers are called to the scene along with CPI in regards to an allegation of child abuse. Upon arrival the 16 year old juvenile victim did not have any signs of physical injury nor did she complain of any injuries to the officers at the scene. The child victim has become more verbally abusive to her mother and is in counseling for it. The victim's mother admitted to popping her daughter in the mouth for her back talking, she has had to increase her level of discipline since her daughter no longer responds to privileges being confiscated. The child victim did not receive any injuries form the discipline and only read corporal punishment laws then decided to call the police because she was mad she was punished.
I have to stop there and say that earlier in the report it says: Caylx advised she knew why we were there because she had told her counselor her mom had it her in the face.) So I think that sentence shows the attitude of the person(s)who make these reports and adults in general when it comes to parents who abuse their own children. Even when children do speak out about the abuse at the hands of their parents they are seen as "trouble makers" and they are only trying to get out of being punished.
There is no evidence of a criminal offense in this case. This case will be administratively cleared.
(skip)
J. Schenecker advised her daughter's behavior has changed in the past year as she believes it is due to her attending King High School.
(end snip)
This woman did not think she had any issues at all? I guess not, it must just be that her daughter was attending a new school and now is all "mouthy" and needs to be punished in a physical way because taking away her material goods don't seem to make her be "good?" Be...what? Compliant? This was not a young girl with a criminal history, she didn't even get in trouble in school. Why wasn't all of this taken into account? Are parent so above reproach that this kind of abnormal behavior is acceptable as long as it is you own children.
Frighteningly the answer is YES! My mother used to threaten to take my life. She said it before Mr. Bill Cosby but after him and his wonderful book on parenting( sarcasm alert)she had a quote and a famous well respected man and parent to back her and her abusive ways, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out."
Caylx also told the officers that "she was hoping for a solution between her and her mom by doing this." That does not sound like an out of control teen ager to me. Caylx said, "she was never hit like this before." Wow. And none of that raised the suspicions of the professionals that came to investigate what a school adviser has thought best.
Whenever I have brought up the subject of no more spanking our children, parents get very upset. They act as if a sacred right is being taken, in fact they state as much. They say who has a right to tell them how to raise their child as they see fit? It is their right to do with their children as they see fit. That whole attitude is scary in of itself, imo.
If hitting your child was illegal, then Caylx would have had the same rights as anyone being abused. But she, and her brother did not. Because they "belong" to their parents. Caylx said she had said things to her mother that she should not have, "you're disgusting" but no matter what she said or did she did not deserve what her mother decided she needed as a punishment. And her mother carried out that punishment as sure and as swift as any tyrant. The mother stood there and "admitted popping the daughter in the mouth." Why wouldn't we know that Caylx was telling the truth? Or is it that getting "popped" in the mouth by your mother is 100% okay?
Until we make it just as illegal to hit your kids as it is to hit any adult, there will be adults who will take advantage of it. It sends a message to the different kinds of parents out there, if you are loving it does not matter how legal it is to hit your kids-you don't.
:twocents:
